I heard that the moonlight found the ocean

Chapter 24 Not strong enough to protect you (Lu Haiyang side story)

If someone asks me, since when did I start liking Su Mei?

Then my life will start to rewind until I was 19 years old, and I stood in the living room of Su Mei's house with my father ignorantly.She proudly pointed at the street stalls on my body and laughed at me. At that time, my heart and the weak self-esteem of a teenager, like a celadon bottle, fell silently to the ground and shattered quietly.

Some people are actually like parsley and celery, which are not accepted by others because of their own characteristics, but once they accept it, they will fall in love with that taste.Su Mei is like those delicious dishes, her sly smile, proud demeanor, and occasional arrogance were all things I couldn't accept at first.But I don't know when it started, probably when she teased me, the fragrance of her body would always make my heart beat faster, maybe when she deliberately provoked me to kiss her, my heart throbbed like a drum.

There is no way, it is probably that kind of getting along day and night that made me fall in love with her bit by bit.But I happen to be that kind of person, more reserved and more cautious. The only boldest thing I have done in the past 19 years is to deliberately kiss her on the beach.

In fact, just that one kiss has already fallen for me.

If the series of changes hadn't happened later, I think I would have struggled with my self-esteem, would slowly compromise with my self-esteem, and would tell her one day that I like her.

But sometimes people are like railroad tracks, doomed to never meet, Su Mei and I are.

My father's loan, Ye Meixiang's malicious sarcasm, and that major accident like the atomic bomb explosion made our intersection line distant and indefinite.

When that accident happened, my father pulled me away, and I refused at the time.Of course, I didn't tell Su Mei what happened at that time.If my father hadn't dragged his seriously ill mother and begged me to leave that day, I definitely wouldn't have left Su Mei behind.

These may seem meaningless to you, but it was my mother's kneeling that easily collapsed my psychological defense.Even if I don't like him, even if I think he is cowardly and cowardly, I can't just watch him have nothing and see my mother's condition get worse.

You see, defectors always find various reasons for their timidity.

I once told Su Mei that my father built a prison for himself in the past six years. In fact, I did the same, and I also built a prison for myself.During the days when I changed my name and surname, I did a lot of hard work, a warehouse keeper, and a peddler. I wanted to save a lot of money, and I wanted to bring that money to Su Mei one day to redeem myself. crime.Even one night, I saw a plastic surgery advertisement in the newspaper and had a whim, so I took the money to change my appearance, and then returned to Engang.

At first I worked as a courier in Engang. I delivered cosmetics and clothes to Su Mei's company, but Su Mei didn't know about it.

How many people will lose their self-confidence, collapse, and hysteria when they meet their old lover.But I, every time, ride a little donkey peacefully and watch her rush to life.

In those days of being a stalker, whenever I was desperate, I would sit alone on the docks of Port En.The world is full of vitality, the waves are rolling under my feet, the sky is clean and blue, and the children are shouting wantonly on the beach.Just me, like an autistic person.

But after those despairs passed, I still looked at her behind her.Until a coincidence, I met her with the name Shen Qiao.No one knows, that was the happiest time of my life.I am like a knight in a masquerade, intersecting with her with another identity.Although this is like walking a tightrope, I am willing to do so.You all only saw my evasion, but didn’t see through my heart. I also have many fears. What I fear most is not being strong enough to protect the one I love, so I choose to hide behind a mask.

Maybe even God thought I was not brave enough, so he didn't favor me. After I proposed to Su Mei, I lost her again.

I know that the loss this time is forever. On the day she refused to get married, when she secretly went to the cemetery to see Song Wenqi, there was always a voice in my heart telling me - I lost her.forever.

And there is only one reason for me to lose her, I am not strong enough, in the journey of life, I have not protected her well, even if only once, I have not protected her.

The only guardian around her is Song Wenqi. She told me that one cannot easily rely on another person, it will become your habit.When parting comes, you will find that what you have lost is not someone, but a spiritual pillar.

I regretted that I did not become her support, and I even thought, if I am lucky enough to fall in love with others in the long life in the future, I must become brave and strong.

Because losing someone feels so bad.It feels like you can hear the sound of your heart breaking open, and you can also feel that your heart is like a river bed short of water, cracked into pieces, but there is nothing you can do.You just stand there and hear it crack and feel the pain and it becomes a habit.

(End of this chapter)