The Complete Works of Xu Zhimo's Classical Prose

Chapter 33 Laughing at Life's Hibiscus Bird (5)
This is salvation, our most pertinent salvation.Personally, I feel very deeply from these two events, the Russian Revolution and the Japanese earthquake; one is to tell us what is a meaningful and valuable sacrifice, and behind the chaos on the surface stands a certain doctrine or ideal firmly, There is a universal desire lurking in the human beings. In order to achieve the desired state, they will take down the completed construction, flatten the existing foundation, abandon the habit of life, and try the most impossible. The way to measure.This is a kind of madness, but it is madness with a purpose; we can make all kinds of criticisms and criticisms if we look at it individually or partially, but when we look at it as a whole, historically, the chaos will be organized. What was originally loose becomes fragments, and even all the clear and brutal facts that are anti-rational have their proper place in the process. When this great tragedy is completed, when this invisible ideal "materializes" into a In fact, when human history cleans up accounts, the income exceeds the output, and the surplus at least covers the loss.Our own misery now lies in the fact that the problems are not focused, clear, and inconsistent; we lack, using a ready-made metaphor, the colored flag raised in mid-air (I am not advocating the red flag, I am just a metaphor!) so that we have eyes Those who can see can't help but look up; the lack of a thunderbolt in the blue sky makes us have ears to hear and can't help but be shocked.Just because of the lack of such a consistent ideal and standard (capable of expressing what our subconscious desires), all the major movements in the history of madness that we have are inseparable from madness, so they have no chance to fully express themselves. The encumbrances and obsessions of our material life have the power to oppress our spiritual struggle; it is not that we are naturally unwilling to sacrifice, nor are we born cowardly, we have indeed never found something worthy of or forcing us to sacrifice during this period. The result is the slackness of energy, the laziness of ambition, the prevalence of carelessness, the prevalence of pessimism, and the destruction and burial of all moral standards and all values.

Man is originally a behavioral animal, especially one that is full of collective behavior. He has the ability to go upward, but he is also the most prone to degeneration. When there is no proper direction in front of him, such as a beast imprisoned in an iron cage.When his ability to act has no chance to develop, he will lie down anywhere, regardless of whether he is a puddle or a quagmire, and live his life as a neither black nor white pig slave.This is the saddest phenomenon, the saddest tendency.If we allow this state of affairs to continue, when each pair of parents gives birth to a clean child every time, it is just adding one more depraved member to this vile society, which is a great blasphemy; The meaning of training and training is basically lost. We might as well hope that a big thunder will come down and destroy all human traces in the Three Rivers or Four Rivers Basin!
Looking at the bravery and perseverance of the Japanese after the natural disaster, we can't help but feel ashamed of our poverty, our lack, and our poverty.This spiritual poverty is really shameful, not material poverty.The sufferings we have suffered are not the tests we should be, and that is still far away; but our ugliness has just been in contrast to others' calmness.Our spiritual life is not fully cultivated, so we lose our minds in the face of small disturbances, like a mouse whose genius is only fear, and whose tricks are only thieves; and because our life has no deep spiritual requirements , so the big net of our gregarious life lacks the most important and most durable common lines of sympathy. In addition, the original warp and latitude have reached a state of complete tatters, and this net has no connection at all, and is not affected by outsiders. When things are damaged, there is a possibility of collapse. Where else can we pick up valuable things in the rapids of the times?It is strange to say that the traditional spirit of thousands of years of history has not provided a solid foundation for our society. Now that we have reached a time when we can no longer hide it, who would have discovered that our piles were only bridges built in the Yellow River and buried in quicksand? !
No wonder pessimism has become fashionable!But we young people, young people with life beating in our bodies and blood in our veins to some extent, should not be infected with this deadliest fashion, should not be like those pigs that can lie down anywhere, should not be like that Now is the time to persecute the rats who are just experts, and we will not be allowed to be vague for a moment.We are to take up our responsibilities, we are to mend our great tattered web, we are to draw out in our individual lives the fibers of humane sympathy to make strong cords, and we shall discover the proper The symbol, like a great banner in mid-air, attracts general attention; we cultivate our spiritual and moral characters, and prepare ourselves to endure the worst trials ahead.In a simple sentence, we should promote our basic attitude towards life after today, and there will be no more days.Is it yes or no; is it positive or negative; is it life or death; is it upward or downward?The fate of our whole society depends on the answer of one word for our young people.I hope that I can at least represent the majority of young people. At the end of this speech, I will use two powerful foreign words "Everlasting yea!"

The original issue of "Morning Post Sixth Anniversary Supplement" on December 1924, 12 was included in "Falling Leaves"

want to fly
If there is snow outside the window at this time, the street, city walls, and roof ridges are full of snow, and a patrolman wearing a black hood is nestled under the eaves of a house at the entrance of the alley, half-closed his sleepy eyes, watching the snowflakes like cotton balls jumping in mid-air Just for fun... If this night is an extremely deep night, not the night shown by the hour hand of the wall clock, it will be as deep as a cave, as deep as a spiral cave...

If I could have such a late night, its bottomless gloom twisted all my body; if I could have the snow constantly sifting down outside the window, sifting away the rumors of the city moving from far and near, sifting away the current A struggling wheel on a dirt track.Screening out the uncompromising undercurrent in the skull...

I want that deep, I want that quiet.The nighthawk hiding in the thick shade of the trees easily dare not come out to open its eyes when the sky is still shining.Thought: It also has to wait.

There is a bit of darkness in the blue sky.It is dazzling towards the sun, you can’t really see it, you cover your eyes with your hands, and look into the gap between the two trees, it’s black, it’s as big as an orange, no, it’s as big as a peach Hey, it’s moving west again!

We had lunch and went out to the beach. (This is the extreme south corner of Cornwall, England, surrounded by the Atlantic Ocean on three sides.) Xu Lili’s cry trembled evenly from the bottom of our feet, at waist height, to shoulder height, over the top of the head, into the Cloud, higher than the cloud.Ah, can you not imagine a jerking noise as a light rain falling from the blue sky incessantly on the green ground?No, those raindrops are dancing feet, Angel.The larks had also eaten, and left their humble ground nests to fly to high places to work.God's work for them, work for God.Look, here is one, there are two more!Together they fly towards the sky, the little wings move so happily, they are round and fly without hesitation, they know the blue sky.Singing together, the little voice is so happy, and the small round beads are spitting out, the bright saliva, the crisp saliva, they praise the blue sky.Look, how high it flies, the size of a bean, the size of a sesame seed, the black prickly crumbs, it shakes gently against the bottomless zenith, it is completely invisible, its shadow is gone!But the bright drizzle is still falling...

fly. "Its wings are like clouds hanging from the sky...the one with the sky on its back, and Mo Zhiyao"; that is not easy to see.There is a yellow mud mountain outside Dongguanxiang in our town. On the top of the mountain is a seven-story pagoda with the spire pointing to the sky.The bell is often played in the pagoda courtyard. When the bell rings, it is mostly when the sun is shining in the west. A bright red flower sticks to the sideburns of the west mountain and reflects the clouds on the tower mountain. When the bell rings, it circles around the top of the pagoda. , touching the sky above the pagoda, wearing the cloud on the top of the pagoda, there is a "hungry eagle" looking at the ground with one or two, sometimes three, four, sometimes five or six, stretching their gray wings and not hanging on. It seems to be hovering, floating in mid-air, swimming in the evening wind, as if practicing a round dance according to the waves of the tower courtyard bell.That was the "Dapeng" when I was a child.Sometimes on a sunny day when we don’t see a cloud, we hear the cry of sorrow, and we know it’s the hungry eagle on the pagoda looking for food. This hero with bald head and round eyes in our imagination for a long time is the little bird on our back. Feathers like rasps and iron brushes seemed to be cut out of the wing bones. They shook and whirled, and rushed out of the study door with just a swing, and burrowed into the white clouds fringed with tortoise shells to play. Who is impatient? Standing in front of Mr.'s desk, swaying and memorizing what a difficult book [up] in the morning!hooligan!It is not the flying of the short sparrows jumping on the branches; it is not the flying of the bats rushing out from the back of the hall to drive mosquitoes to eat at night; Swallows fly.If you want to fly, you have to fly all over the sky. The wind can't stop the clouds and the clouds can't stop you from flying. You can jump over a mountain with one wing, and the shadow will cover the twenty acres of rice fields. Fly around the top of the tower when you get tired of flying at night. Dreaming in circles along the direction of the wind... I heard that hungry eagles will catch chickens!

fly.People used to be able to fly.Angels have wings and can fly, and we also have wings and can fly when we first came.We flew here at the beginning, and some of us flew away after finishing our work. They are enviable.But most people forget to fly. Some wings are hanged and their feathers don’t grow and they can’t fly anymore. Some wings are glued and can’t be pulled apart. It seems that they can only jump on the ground, and some pawn a pair of wings on their backs to pawn money so that they can never be redeemed after the expiration date... Really, we lose the ability to fly as soon as we are children.But it is a terrible thing to lose wings or have broken wings that cannot be used.Because you can't fly back anymore, you squat on the ground and stare blankly at the sky where you can't fly up, and see other people who are blessed and happy in the blue clouds, how pitiful it is.And the wings are not like the shoes on your feet. If they are worn out, you can ask your mother for another pair. Wings are not good. If a hair is broken, it is just one, and there is no way to mend it.Also, just looking at your wings does not guarantee that you will be able to fly at that time. If your body is too fat if you are not careful, your wings will not be able to hold you anymore.It's ridiculous that a pair of small wings can't support a fat belly!At that time, you will hear people shouting loudly, friends, go back, while there is still purple light in this day, you can hear their wings rustling in mid-air, and spring clouds jumping over to push their shoulders Back, looking at the brightest place, lightly, slowly, like a light smoke, it melts out of your sight, like a lark, leaving only a shower of light "Thou art unseen, but yet I hear the Shrill delight" Then you, drowning alone in the mud, how uncomfortable, how upset, how miserable!Watch out for your wings early, friend!
No one wants to fly.I'm tired of crawling on this ground all the time, not to mention anything else.Fly out of this circle, fly out of this circle!Go to the cloud, go to the cloud!Didn't he think that way a thousand times in his heart?Fly up to the sky to float; see the earth as a projectile rolling in space, see the sea from the land, and look back to the land from the sea.Volley to see someone who understands that this is the fun of being a human being, the authority of being a human being, and the explanation of being a human being.If the skin is too heavy to move, throw it, if possible, fly out of this circle, fly out of this circle!
When humans first invented the use of stone tools, they already wanted to grow wings.want to fly.There are four portraits painted on the cave wall of the original man, with wings on his back; the man who is holding a bow and arrow to drive away wild animals has wings on his shoulders and back.Little Eros has a pair of tender meat wings.Icarus is the first hero in the history of human flight and the first sacrifice.Angel (that's the idealized one) first marks the wings that help them fly.That also has a history. You can see the performance in Western paintings.At first, it looked like a pair of small and exquisite flags, sticking to the backs of the angels like butterflies, as if they were real and inflexible.Gradually, the wings grow, the position is stable, and the feathers are full.The painted angels had wings that were actually possible.For the first time, human beings have realized the concept of wings and realized the meaning of flight.Unlock the undead soul of Lars Flash, come back to incarnate and incarnate again.The greatest mission of mankind is to make wings, and the greatest success is to fly!The extreme of ideal, the limit of imagination, from man to god!Poetry is born on wings; philosophy hovers in the air.Fly: Transcend everything, cover everything, sweep everything away, swallow everything.

You go up to the top of the mountain over there, if you can't get to the top of the mountain here, you have to go to this deep abyss to find your burial place! "This bird in human form shall one day try his first flight, and awe the world, and praise all writings, and give eternal glory to the perch where he came from." O Davinjian!
But fly?Is it man's job to make wings, or to bind them, since Lars was opened?These wings bear the weight of civilization, can they still fly?They all flew here, can they all fly back?Clamped, seared, and suppressed, will this humanoid bird ever try his first flight? ...

At the same time, the dark spot in the sky was already approaching above my head, forming a bird-shaped machine. Suddenly, along the side of the machine, a ball of light shot straight down, and there was a sound of boron explosion, which shattered me while I was flying. In the fantasy in the sky, a few piles of broken clouds have been added to the blue sky.

Originally published as "Morning News Supplement" on April 1926, 4, included in "Self-Dissected Essays"

"Go forward"

This time, I will not lie, play hidden mysteries, play contrary tunes, or make excuses; I will say a few words that at least I can believe in, and I will confess my own truth, and I am willing to put my monogram on this confession. end of .

I ask for your generous permission to introduce myself, explain myself, and encourage myself on my first day at The Morning Supplement.

Today happens to be a turning point in my life. I have recently experienced what I consider to be a serious, tragic, and painful experience: this experience shakes the fibers of my whole body like a strong wind shakes a lonely tree. How many things I have never tasted have been dropped; so I dare to say what I want to say: my breath is clean at this time, my voice is bright, like the air after a storm, the original filth The wrath of nature has washed away all impurities and impurities. At this time, I feel that in the seriously injured past me, there is a new courage, a new health; a more certain me, A more stubborn me, a more powerful me.

I believe that a true idealist can bear to see his usual ideals withered into ashes, broken into fragments, and rotted into mud. At the bottom of the ashes, fragments, and mud, he will find his greater and brighter ideals again.I am one of those people.

Only people who believe that sickness is an honor come to shamelessly shout out the pain. At this time, he heard footsteps, and he thought that someone helping him was coming towards him, but he didn't know that his own spirituality had left him!Really ambitious patients, when unable to relieve their pain by themselves, would rather die than suffer the insult of medicine and charity.I am one of those again.

We meet disappointment everywhere in this life, encounter "disillusionment" continuously, see only dark clouds above our heads, and dark shadows under the ground; One day, he yelled mockingly invisibly: "Down, down, you reckless idiot!" So you see the fallen corpses all over the road, some are dead, some are half dead, some are crawling and struggling, There are silent... Hey!How many people can resist the cross of life?

But life is not the heaviest burden. What is heavier than life and weighs down the dead is the thought of the cross.How many natural Meng Ben Wu Yu can there be in the history of the human mind?We have but a limited number of honorable corpses on the terrible battlefield of thought.

I dare not boast unreasonably; I am not crazy enough, not arrogant enough.I know the limit of my own strength, but I can't stop my resentment and shame at seeing the shrinking domestic intellectual circles at this time.I want to grab the head of this era and ask him for some real thinking spirit to show me that it is not borrowed, taxed, imitated, or copied, not a paper tiger, a puppet shaking its head, or a spider web screen What I want is the pure thoughts that come out of my bones, my blood, my spirit, and my life.It was my cowardice that I didn't ask him for it; it was his shame that he couldn't show it to me.Friends, I want you to choose a side. If you can’t stand in front of me and show me what I want, you have to stand by my side and help me challenge this era.

I expected someone to laugh at my big talk.Yes, big talk.I just feel that words are too small these days. We have to create a word smaller than small to describe the words we listen to and write down in printed words these days; Swift) to describe those small mouths that tell small words, sharp mouths that speak sharp words.A horde of anteaters!Their greatest pleasure is busying their sharp beaks digging the dirt for tiny ants.Ants can't finish eating, and at the same time, this ridiculous sharp beak can't stop evolving to a sharper direction. Be careful that after a few generations, even the food of ants will become too big!

(End of this chapter)