Tang Dynasty Crossing Guide: Chang'an and People's Life Manual

Chapter 27 If You Marry a Tang Dynasty Man (4)
However, considering his (standard Tang Dynasty big man) disposition, do you believe he can bear not looking for a woman for a few months?It is unavoidable to send your confidant servants and servants to inquire around. Sure enough, it took a lot of effort to find out that Li Si, a heartless man, has raised a "other housewife" outside, and he is always away from home for ten or eight nights every month. He said that he was drinking and writing poems with his classmates, but in fact, he went to the Golden House to find "Second Sister You" to ecstasy.

Don't be angry, don't be angry, pregnant women should take care.You, first pretend not to know, and then yell at home that you are dizzy and dizzy, and you feel like a ghost during the day. One day, you received a letter slipped through the crack of the door, which stated the address of "Second Sister You".So you sent some servants to search the door, and found a human figure made of grass or paper at the foot of the bed of the housewife, with your maiden name and birth date written on it, and a strand of hair that you don't know what is stuck on it. .

You are still pregnant with Li Si's son-in-law, don't let this lowly housewife want to kill both mother and child so that Li Si can take her into the house. It is estimated that your parents-in-law will hate you more than yourself in this situation.I didn't say anything, let's sell it to a half-dead reporter.

From summer to autumn, you worked so hard, your belly swelled up day by day, and you finally survived ten months, and you are about to give birth.According to the custom at that time, you can ask to go back to your natal family (also called your own family) to wait for the delivery. Your living habits will be more comfortable, and your natal family will take better care of you. Generally, your husband’s family will not object. (Perhaps the stinky man is even more eager to send his fierce wife away so that he can steal chickens and dogs, right?)

Women who gave birth in ancient times had a high mortality rate.On the day of childbirth, both the natal family and the husband’s family will go to the temple to pray to the gods and Buddha to offer offerings, hoping that your mother and child will be safe (the husband’s family probably mainly wishes for the safety of the grandson, and the bride must give birth to a boy).When making offerings, one must also recite the "Nan Yue Wen":
The patient is because of the robbery, and the blessing is in the present body, and he feels that he has the body of a woman, and it is difficult to get rid of the trouble of bearing a child.Today, ten days will be full, and the new moon is like a circle. I am afraid that there will be injuries and damages, and I am really afraid of suffering from demon disasters.Therefore, it is pious and earnest, looking to the Three Jewels for protection; giving up precious wealth, and opening the door of kindness.Fuwen Sanbao is a person who can relieve danger and relieve suffering. The great man is compassionate, and he has no wish not to benefit from it.Essi recites merits and virtues, always with solemnity, the patient is the body: I ​​only hope that the sun will come and the moon will be full, and a strange child will be born; the mother and child will be safe, and there will be no worries.Avalokitesvara empowerment, you can receive the god's prescription of immortality; medicine is palpable, and the taste of longevity is beneficial.The mother has no pain and worries, and has the constant security of day and night; the fairy boy who gives birth to a child, appears like a lotus.

Here you are muttering sutras, and over there you are crying in pain and crying. After a lot of painful struggles, thanks to your broad shoulders, strong shoulders and round waist, you successfully gave birth to the baby. What a boy!Now I feel proud, and from now on I can kick the son of that lowly maidservant aside!Husband's (future) official title is inherited by his son!Most of the husband's property is also yours! The item "no child" in "Seven Out" is no longer useful!Even the father-in-law and mother-in-law can't just blow away your daughter-in-law!
The husband's family also sent people to visit her mother's house, expressed satisfaction with the grandson with a full beard and tail, and sent a lot of condolences.Just when you felt that you could breathe a sigh of relief after completing the task, within a few days, the child suddenly convulsed and died of convulsions.

Alas, there is no way. With the level of medicine and hygienic concepts in ancient times, the mortality rate of infants and young children was too high. Almost families with three or more children experienced the process of dead babies.You hold the dead body of your own son, looking out the window into a lifeless world of ice and snow.Thinking back to the three years of marriage, fighting mistresses every day, beating mistresses, eating salty carrots and worrying about the days, is it interesting?Do you still think about it?
Or, shall we wear it back?
How about going to file a divorce procedure with the stinky man before you come back?
References & in-depth understanding recommendations for this article:
Yao Ping. The life course of women in the Tang Dynasty. Shanghai: Shanghai Ancient Books Publishing House, 2004
Return the dowry to me, bring the alimony, let's get divorced, the heartbroken!

divorce procedure
In the previous guide to Tang Chuan, you, who married Li Silang, experienced various unpleasant post-marital events and decided to divorce Li Silang.Today we will take a look at how to deal with the divorce procedures in the Tang Dynasty.

First of all, as a time-traveling enthusiast, please keep in mind "seven outs, three not outs", that is, the man's "seven reasons for divorcing his wife" and "three reasons for not divorcing his wife".This is not only applicable in the Tang Dynasty, but also in all dynasties after the Han Dynasty. It has application value no matter where you wear it.

According to Tang law, the "seven outs" committed by a wife who can be divorced by a stinky man are:

50. No child—this should not apply to you, because you have already given birth to a son to Li Si in the previous article.Although he died shortly after giving birth, at your age, it is obvious that there is still a high possibility of having a son.According to the law of the Tang Dynasty, the main wife must be over [-] years old and have no children before this article can be applied to be divorced. (What if the man suffers from infertility? The woman should also be blamed. What kind of world is this!)
[-]. Obscenity—ahem, no matter whether you think about the handsome guy or not, as long as you are caught by your husband's family without real evidence, this reason cannot be used casually.What?They say that talking to their husband too much is considered obscenity?Don't mess around, I didn't conceive a baby until two years after I got married.

[-]. Don't care about uncles and aunts - have a bad relationship with parents-in-law, and don't serve the elderly well.This is to test the emotional intelligence of the daughter-in-law, whether she will make the elderly happy.It is estimated that the time-traveling girls failed this item.

[-]. Gossip - gossiping all day long, even quarreling with sisters-in-law and sisters-in-law.

[-]. Stealing - taking things that don't belong to you (dowry) at your husband's house, hiding them privately or secretly giving them to others.

[-]. Jealousy—I don’t allow my husband to have sex with other women. You Zhang Sanniang is absolutely sure of this.

[-]. Severe diseases - contracted diseases that hinder normal life, including infectious diseases such as leprosy, as well as deaf-mute, blind, bald, lame, hunchbacked, etc.In fact, this one is also very stupid. For example, the husband contracted vexatious disease from promiscuity outside, and then infected his wife when he came back, but the wife was divorced because of the "bad disease".

The above are the "seven outs" clauses, which are not too different in the past dynasties. "Three Do's" are "Three Situations in which a Man Cannot Divorce His Wife", which are:
[-]. After the mourning of uncles and aunts - after the death of parents-in-law and mother-in-law, the wife who has served them for three years according to etiquette cannot be divorced by her husband.

[-]. Marry when the husband is cheap and then be rich—the wife married when the husband was poor and cheap, and later became prosperous, is not allowed to divorce his wife.I think this article is still very humane, and it is also very useful for reference now (if the stinky man becomes prosperous, it is okay for the wretched wife to want to divorce).It is said that during the Zhenguan period, His Majesty Li Shimin, whose brain often short-circuited, once expressed that he wanted to marry his daughter to the door god Yuchi Jingde, but was pushed back by Yuchi with this law that "a wife of dross will not go to court".

[-]. There is something to receive, nothing to return to—the "receive" and "attack" in this article... No, "return", it is controversial to explain.Some people think that it means "the dowry brought by the wife when she gets married. If the husband's family is unable to return the wife when she divorces, she cannot divorce her." You can go back to your natal home, but you can’t divorce your wife.”Generally speaking, it should not be wrong to understand that "the wife has no source of income after being divorced".

"Seven outs" and "three not to go" are mutual constraints and struggles. If a wife, such as Zhang Sanniang, has committed "seven outs" (jealousy) and "three not to go" (if Said that your husband became an official when you were a daughter-in-law in the Li family), so what should you do?

According to the law of the Tang Dynasty, if you have committed the two crimes of "bad disease" and "rape", even if you meet the "three do not leave" conditions, your husband's family can divorce your wife.In addition to these two, as long as you meet the "three not to go", then even if you violate the other clauses of the "seven out", the husband's family cannot divorce your wife.

If the husband divorces his wife unreasonably when his wife has not violated the seven crimes or the "righteousness" (this will be discussed below), the government will sentence him to one and a half years in prison, bring his wife back, and not allow her to leave. relation.If the wife violates the other five of the "seven outs", but there are "three not to go", the husband still divorces the family, and the husband will give a hundred sticks, but the wife will still chase her back.

If none of the above exists, the husband does not need to report to the government for approval if he divorces his wife "reasonably and legally", but he needs to write a written document about the divorce. His parents, uncles, and uncles must sign the document, and the wife Parents and uncles here also need to sign and agree on the document, and neighbors, friends and witnesses should sign together as evidence.

The above is the situation when the husband voluntarily divorced his wife. In the Tang Dynasty, there was another situation where both husband and wife may not want to divorce, but the government will force them to divorce. This is called "yijue".

When something happened, the government would use administrative means to force the couple to separate?
For example—you quarreled with Li Si, and your parents-in-law came to persuade you, and you probably would have to sideline your son. You got angry and called your parents-in-law "old slave" and "old godmother" "—Well, if a wife beats and scolds her husband's parents and grandparents, this is considered a crime of "righteousness". If the government finds out, they will immediately sentence you and Li Si to divorce. If you do not divorce, you will have to serve one year in prison.

Behaviors similar to committing "righteousness" include:

[-]. The wife kills the husband's grandparents, uncles, parents, brothers, sisters, and aunts.

[-]. The wife intentionally murders her husband.

[-]. The wife commits adultery with her husband's incest.

[-]. The husband commits adultery with his mother-in-law.

[-]. The husband beats his wife's parents and grandparents.

[-]. The husband kills his wife's maternal grandparents, uncles, parents, brothers, sisters and aunts.

[-]. The parents, grandparents, maternal grandparents, uncles, brothers, sisters and aunts of both husband and wife kill each other. (So ​​spectacular...)
In short, if the above-mentioned family fires merge, the couple will be forced to divorce and sever the connection between the two families.

Whether it is the above "seven outs" or "righteousness", once a couple divorces in these two ways, it will hurt their feelings very much, and basically there will be hatred between the two families.At the same time, both the man and the woman will have a bad reputation in the local area. In short, it will affect stability and unity, and is not conducive to maintaining stability and harmony.

Therefore, if it is not a last resort, if the men and women do not want to tear their faces apart, Li Si and you, the young couple, will probably choose "reconciliation", that is, "divorce by agreement". This is the least influential and least harmful to both families. Method.

"Qichu" means that the man proposes a divorce, "Yijue" means that the government comes forward to decide the divorce, and "reconciliation" is a negotiation between the two parties, so as a wife, you can send someone from your own family to your husband's house to propose to Li Si: The two have been married for three years and have been "unharmonious with each other". It's boring to be noisy, so let's leave.

On Li Si's side, although he was a little bit reluctant and heartbroken (marrying a daughter-in-law is quite expensive), but thinking of those beautiful concubines and maidservants who were driven away by you, for the sake of his sexual happiness for the rest of his life, he agreed.The young couple told their parents that they both emphasized that they were very hurt in their married life, and that the elderly who cared about their children had no choice but to leave.

Nominally, the initiative of reconciling Li Si is still in the hands of Li Si as her husband, so he wants to write a "Letter to Release Your Wife" to you.

Gaici and his wife are deeply in love, the husband and wife have a long and quiet bosom, and the joy of the same animal prison Standards for husband and wife relationship in an ideal state) After three years of marriage, the couple will meet each other, and if there is resentment every year, then there will be feuds. Now it is no longer compatible. I think it is an enemy in the previous life who became suspicious and became jealous as a descendant. , don’t insist on dragging your children and grandchildren.) Seeing the failure of fate, the two parents and their wives look for a signed document to say goodbye. Write it down clearly) After the separation, choose an important official and dual-job husband to play the movie in front of the court and play the piano and the rhyme (this is Li Si's wish for you to marry a good husband again and have a happy marriage next time) Let alone talk about three things One year's clothing and food will be offered to you (you will be given "three years of clothing and food" as alimony) I wish my wife a long life, a letter from Li Sifang's wife in a certain year, a certain month, a certain day, a certain township

It can be seen from the "Wife Release Book" that after you agree to a divorce, Li Si will not only return you the original price of the dowry that you brought to the Li family according to the law (for families with good economic conditions in the Tang Dynasty, the married daughters usually accompanied by a generous dowry) , including cloth, money and food, etc.), and gave you a sum of alimony sufficient for three years.After three years—generally within three years, you will be able to marry again, just find another man as a meal ticket.

What are you asking?Didn't ancient times preach "from one to the other", you, a divorced woman, can you marry again?
How should I put it? Of course, everyone still admits that marrying a first-married girl is better than marrying a second-married woman, and also admits that the status of the original wife of the first marriage is higher than that of the second wife, but in the Tang Dynasty and before the Tang Dynasty, women divorced and remarried. Very common phenomenon.Although the government and public opinion also respect that "women observe chastity" is a kind of noble behavior, but if your husband is dead or divorced, and you find someone to marry again, generally no one will come forward to accuse you of not obeying women's morals.

When a man in the Tang Dynasty looked for a wife, he first looked at the other party’s background, whether he was a noble family or at least a prominent local family; secondly, he looked at the status and family property. She has a good reputation for virtue, but as for whether the woman is a first-married daughter, the order of consideration is relatively low.

In a situation like yours, if you are considered a good family in the local area, your parents love you, give you a lot of dowry, and you are still young enough to have a son, so it is not a big problem to remarry within three years.Of course, remarrying or not remarrying should also respect your personal wishes to a certain extent.

Basically, all the big men in the Tang Dynasty were similar to Li Si, and it is impossible for them to remain loyal to you only for the rest of their lives.If you are still unwilling to accept this time-traveling reality, then simply don’t remarry, and use the excuse of “parents are old and need to be served” as an excuse.After the death of your parents, the brother who is in charge of the family has the responsibility to continue to support you. Even if the brother dies, the nephew who inherits the family business will continue to support you for free until he dies. After you die, they have to mourn for you according to the etiquette.

In fact, don't say that you go back to your mother's house alone to eat free food, even if you bring a few more children, for example, after you divorced Li Si, you married Zhao Liu, and after a few years, you gave birth to two children, and Zhao Liu died of illness, even if his family There are also parents and brothers who are the head of the household. You can also pack up the property you deserve and return to your natal family with two oil bottles.

In this case, your child’s grandparents, uncles and cousins ​​are responsible and obliged to support the widow (sister/aunt) family with the same standard of food and clothing as your own family, and are also responsible for sending your child to school and study. Take exams, even get married and start a family.This is a family responsibility generally recognized by people in the Tang Dynasty. If it cannot be done, it will be condemned by public opinion.

Then, if you spend the rest of your life in your natal family, when your younger brother or nephew is in charge of the family, you also have a certain say in family affairs, and you should discuss with you before making major decisions at home.In special circumstances, you may even be in charge of the home.After you die, you can also be buried in the family cemetery, buried next to your parents, and the younger generation will set up an epitaph, and write that you returned to live in your parents' parents to serve your parents, praising you as a filial daughter.

In these few chapters, we have talked a lot about the fate you faced after becoming a woman in the Tang Dynasty. After reading it, do you feel that you are cheating?You must know that the status of women in the Tang Dynasty was relatively high among all feudal imperial dynasties!So, if you are a woman, please cherish the happy life now!

References & in-depth understanding recommendations for this article:
Yao Ping. The life course of women in the Tang Dynasty. Shanghai: Shanghai Ancient Books Publishing House, 2004
Written by Qian Daqun. New Notes on Tang Law Shuyi. Nanjing: Nanjing Normal University Press, 2007
(End of this chapter)