If this is not love

Chapter 34 Love Really Needs Courage (2)
The gentle kisses were like dense raindrops, falling on her forehead, eyebrows and eyelids, and then slowly descending, on her nose, cheeks and nervously panting little mouth.

"Tan Shaojie..."

"kindness."

"My heart... seems to be beating really fast."

"I know, you feel it yourself, it's called heartbeat." He grabbed her hand and pressed it to his chest, "Do you feel it? Your heart is beating for me." He began to unbutton her, with a sense of necessity in his eyes determination.

She has feelings for her, absolutely, even He Xinning can see it!Tonight, he wants to get her and make her his own woman. Perhaps only in this way, she will no longer be stupid and confused about her feelings, and will no longer run away from him!Even if she wakes up tomorrow and wants to chop him with a knife, he will admit it!
In a daze, Ruxu felt comfortable, as if surrounded by warm sea water, bathed in sunlight, and someone was giving herself a massage.Her skin was itchy, maybe it was the stimulation of alcohol, maybe it was his teasing, she was short of breath, and the uncontrollable excitement flowed in her veins, quietly driving away the initial tension and fear.

Clothes fell apart one by one, men's shirts and women's underwear on the rug beside the bed.

She was confused, and for a moment, reason flashed across her mind like lightning, and when she was about to say something, his last rough and forceful question sounded——
"Should I stop? Should I?"

"No... want to..." God!She couldn't think at all... Then the sudden pain flashed across sharply, and her body seemed to be divided into two halves...

"I'm sorry...it was the only uncomfortable part from beginning to end, but I'm sorry you had to go through it..."

"I'm in so much pain..."

"I love you."

In the early morning, the woman curled up in bed gradually became conscious, her head was buzzing and throbbing.When he moved a little, his whole body felt sore as if his bones were falling apart.She frowned, sighed softly, and wanted to turn around and continue sleeping for a while, but was suddenly awakened by a certain arm across her waist.

Her heart was beating wildly, she forgot to breathe, and the fragments in her mind were gradually intertwined into unbearable memories.

day!
Tan Shaojie...

He, he, he...she and he...

Ruxu simply didn't have the courage to open her eyes. She used to be on all possible precautions, for fear of having an irreversible relationship with him.As a result, one night without vigilance, it really caused this kind of tragedy...

That's right!tragedy.She couldn't remember the details of what happened last night vaguely, but he asked her repeatedly and gently, and she couldn't help clinging to him, the sharp pain and confused joy, but she couldn't help but think it was a dream.

what to do?what to do?Her thoughts couldn't help being chaotic, and countless possibilities flashed through in an instant.

His fingers gripped the quilt tightly, so stiff that he dared not move.I don't know if he woke up too?How to face it?Ruxu was so annoyed that she really wanted to find a piece of tofu to bump into.

"Is it cold?" Tan Shaojie's lazy voice was slightly hoarse, and it sounded exciting in the early morning.

Ruxu gritted her teeth and pretended to sleep!
He tucked the quilt towards her, and with his arms tightened, her back pressed against his chest more tightly.

The room was very quiet, and she could feel every beat of his heart.His hand slowly held her fingertips, and his voice was full of concern: "It's so cold? Don't catch a cold."

"Cough! I'm getting up first." Without screaming or getting angry, Ruxu almost exhausted her entire life of calmness and perseverance to finish this sentence calmly.

"Don't worry." He suddenly hooked her waist, preventing her from getting up. "It's only seven o'clock! It's still early. You were exhausted last night. If you sleep a little longer, I'll make breakfast."

Tan Shaojie spoke more calmly than her. After speaking, he stretched out a long arm from the bed and picked up the shirt thrown at the foot of the bed.

After his footsteps disappeared outside the door, Ruxu quietly opened her eyes, holding a long breath in her heart, but couldn't get it out.So depressing, so uncomfortable, so... chaotic.She couldn't get angry, because from the beginning to the end, although he was designing her and seducing her, she didn't object, but chose to cooperate.

What he did to her was not a plunder, but a real possession.

Ruxu continued to curl up, how could she still feel sleepy?His attitude just now was very calm, calm, and calm, as if being with her last night was just as simple as two people having dinner.Maybe it doesn't matter who a woman is to him?This thought made her extremely uncomfortable, and thinking back to the speed at which he changed girlfriends like changing clothes in the past...

Gritting her teeth, she sat up like a bone, unable to bear to look at the messy clothes on the ground.His tie was tossed together with her underwear, and that simple sight created a ambiguous picture.

"Calm, calm, breathe--" She shivered in the cold morning air, slipped into the bathroom in a casually wrapped pajamas.

In the steaming water, she calmed down a lot.

And when he came out of the kitchen, he couldn't hide a happy smile on his face, and his handsome features were more handsome and charming than ever.He made the bed, his eyes fell on the dark imprint on the bed sheet, his fingers stroked lightly, his black eyes became bright and full of affection.

How could he not feel that he could be her unique man?A heart has long been filled with happiness and joy, and she barely closed her eyes all night, fearing that it was a sweet dream, and fearing that she would be angry, disappointed, and sad after waking up... Just now I deliberately left her a calm space, I hope she can accept and face the reality as soon as possible. In the future, she can only be his woman, his wife.

The aroma of noodles wafted from the living room.

Both of them were dressed, and there was no strange emotion on Ruxu's face, let alone guess what she was thinking.Even she admired herself for being able to cover up so perfectly.

Sitting opposite her, Tan Shaojie carefully poured the sauce into her bowl.He didn't deliberately hide anything, his eyebrows and eyes were gentle and affectionate.

"Eat more. I saw your itinerary today. It seems that you have to go to several places. If you feel uncomfortable, I can help you."

"No need." Ruxu declined coldly, very sensitive to the word "comfortable" he mentioned just now.

"Hehe, don't be brave. Anyway, the case in my hand is basically completed, and I have more time..."

"Tan Shaojie." Ruxu put down her chopsticks with a slap, and finally there was a trace of emotion on her expressionless face.Dai Mei frowned slightly, and stared straight at him with her beautiful eyes, "There's no need to be so courteous to me all of a sudden, you can pretend that nothing happened last night."

Tan Shaojie's smile froze slightly: "As a colleague, can I care about you? What happened last night...can you pretend it didn't happen?"

"Yes." Ruxu subconsciously straightened her back and armed herself, "This kind of thing should be easier for you, anyway, one-night stands are commonplace for you. I don't want to remember, and you'd better forget."

Tan Shaojie's face darkened unknowingly, "I'm not as sentimental as you imagined, and I can't forget last night. Because I don't want to forget, I don't want to forget."

Ruxu picked up the chopsticks again, picked up a few noodles, and frowned: "Whatever you want, anyway, the same thing won't happen again."

"Okay, even if there is no second time, I still plan to be responsible for your first time."

"No. I was the one who got drunk last night. It's not your responsibility. We are all adults. I don't need anyone to take responsibility because of this." I had expected that he would use this to get involved with himself, and he didn't think about his future development. She didn't want to mention this matter before she got the clue.

Where will Tan Shaojie follow?There are many women who love him and cling to him. She is the only woman who treats him like a god of plague and wants to kick him away at any time.A sharp dark light flashed in his eyes, and he raised his handsome eyebrows: "It's surprising that you are so calm and calm, because you think too simply. Let me remind you, last night we both fought like a fire, and it was out of control, so we didn't take any precautions." measures. I mean, you understand?"

They might have kids, wouldn't she need him to be responsible too?
Ruxu's cheeks blushed a little uncontrollably, he deliberately made his words ambiguous and ugly, and deliberately frightened her!She doesn't take this set, she just wants to worry less now.He lowered his head, took two mouthfuls of noodles as if nothing had happened, and then replied quietly: "It's okay, you can still protect yourself afterwards."

"Wang Ruxu, you..."

"Don't you hurry up and eat? The noodles are cold, I won't wait for you, I have to hurry to see the client." After she finished speaking, she bowed her head again and continued to eat the noodles.

Tan Shaojie couldn't take a bite, it was really uncomfortable to be angry with her, he didn't want to eat anything because he didn't explain the question clearly. "Wang Ruxu, if you really have a child, will you have the heart not to?"

Ruxuan chewed tastelessly, and raised his eyes coldly: "Don't scare me with children. For now, it's just a cell at most. I repeat, you don't need to worry about this matter. If it affects my breakfast again, you have to Please leave immediately."

She resolutely blocked his mouth, otherwise her acting skills would be ruined if they discussed for another minute.

Ruxu has changed, since that night, she tried to avoid contact with Tan Shaojie as much as possible, and when talking in the office, she only mentioned work, and she cut off any personal topics.He wanted to find her several times, but just as he started talking, she turned around and left with various excuses.She knew very well that once a gap was opened to that person, he would turn into a flood that opened the gate and quickly submerge her.She was afraid she would drown...

Tan Shaojie can understand her mood and accept her indifference, but he cannot tolerate her deliberate evasion.

The door of her house is no longer open for him, no matter how much he rings the doorbell, she turns a deaf ear and refuses to the end.Xinning and Yichen were not told about this matter, lying in bed alone every night, she would toss and turn and have trouble falling asleep, the more she thought about it, the less she wanted to face it.

He said: "Wang Ruxu, the two of us have formed a 'de facto boyfriend and girlfriend', you can't escape."

She had only heard of "de facto marriages," so she ignored his fallacies.

He said: "I just want to have a good talk with you. If you don't open the door, I will wait outside."

She is born to be hard, and she has a tougher temper.So, it's cool to retaliate: "Sorry, the two of us have nothing personal to talk about in the future. I won't open the door for you. You can wait as long as you want."

"I love you!" he cried out suddenly.

Ruxu was stunned for a moment, where did she seem to have heard these three words?No, no one has ever really said "I love you" to her, why would he say it?As if to occupy all the "firsts" in her life, even such a sacred declaration of love is not hesitating to say it.

Her lips trembled and her eyes widened: "Don't go crazy! I'm getting more and more confused about what you're going to do..."

Tan Shaojie rushed forward with great sincerity, trying to hold her hand, but she backed away in panic.He had no choice but to stand still dejectedly, and smiled wryly: "Xiao Xu, why don't you believe me once? I really love you."

These words—more shocking than waking up in his arms that morning.

She straightened her back and pointed at him with one hand: "Stop talking! Whether it's true or not, I'm not interested!" Turning around, she ran away in a hurry.

Tan Shaojie stood upright, watching her run away, his hands gradually clenched into fists.He didn't force her, but he couldn't help but wanted to tell her the feelings that had been buried for 12 years.She finally listened to it, otherwise she wouldn't have run away.He didn't expect that she would accept it right away, after all, it was less than ten days since she "broke up" with Yichen, and she had endured one powerful shock after another...

Gritting his teeth, he felt a little confused.

There is only one week left before the Chinese New Year, the streets and alleys are bustling, and every household is busy welcoming the New Year.Ruxu calculated that the last case in his hand will be in court tomorrow, and he can officially take a big vacation after the trial is over.Recently, her mother called her almost every day, frequently urging her to go home. She somewhat understood that Chinese New Year is often a good time for blind dates.Seeing that she and Han Chen had nothing to do with each other, her mother was already actively looking for another partner.

As for Tan Shaojie, she hid completely, and she had to thank this last commission, which made people spin like a top, and there was no time to stop.Tan Shaojie's attitude has never changed, as long as she returns to the office, he will ask her how she is, and take advantage of discussing the case to see her more often.In the office, who doesn't know his mind?It turned out that everyone secretly cheered him up, but now it was changed to Mingli to help him speak.

If Xu is unmoved, many people will probably have a rebellious mentality.The more people talked about it, the greater the pressure, and she became more rebellious and disgusted.So when she saw Tan Shaojie, her eyes began to approach coldness.This may also be called "extreme things must be reversed"!

The night the case was over, she packed up her things to go home early the next morning.My parents also live in the urban area, but it takes more than 40 minutes to drive from the south to the north.When she thought that she might face a blind date immediately when she went back, her forehead ached.

I don't know when, it started to rain lightly, and the window glass was dripping with water, pattering.This kind of ghostly weather is cold and gloomy, and Ruxu turned on the heater in the house to the maximum setting to feel a little warmer.Always feeling that there is a cold wind blowing in, she walked over to check the window carefully.

Outside the window, she saw a vague figure, which was very familiar, and when she looked at it more clearly, she was completely stunned.

Tan Shaojie was standing downstairs, looking up at her room.He didn't bring an umbrella, and he was wearing a black windbreaker, the hem of which was blown up by the strong wind from time to time.Seeing that there were suddenly more people in front of the window, he suddenly became agitated, wiped off the rain on his face, smiled and waved vigorously at her.

"Damn! Crazy! How long are you going to be entangled like this?" Ruxu held on to the window lattice tightly, patted her forehead, "Could it be that he really fell in love with me? No... no, no, it's too strange!"

She went back to the bedroom and continued to count the clothes and organize the luggage.His figure flashed past his eyes from time to time, and then he was severely suppressed.Why should she be affected?He asked for the rain, so what does it have to do with her?

After a while, the clothes were neatly folded and cleaned up. The rain outside the window continued, and it tended to fall more and more.

She patted her forehead, struggled again and again, and finally couldn't help but went to the window again, and quietly opened the curtains.There was a white mist outside, under the street lights, how could he still be seen?
"I knew... that's the case!" Ruxu made a sound, pulling the curtains closer.

Soon, she received a text message from Tan Shaojie.The content is only a few words, very simple: "Go to bed early, good night. I love you."

As if his palm was on fire, he quickly threw the phone on the bed.

That night, she suffered from insomnia.

The next morning, drive home.As expected, before stepping into the door, my mother began to sell her latest "source of goods".

"Xiao Xu, this time the other party is a doctor, only two years older than you. He specializes in cardiovascular and cerebrovascular diseases. He is young and promising. Mom has already done a multi-dimensional investigation for you. This young man is really good, not worse than Han Chen at all. When the other party hears that you are a lawyer, they also like you very much..." Wang's mother has a good plan, and it is best to succeed in the blind date as soon as possible, so that her daughter will have face when she visits relatives during the Chinese New Year.

"Mom, can you let me take a breath first? Is your daughter just annoying you like this? It seems like she can't wait to let me get married tomorrow!" The typical people on the boat are not in a hurry, but the people on the shore are anxious to death.

"Mom, why can't you be in a hurry? Yesterday, there was a special report on the most leftover women on TV, saying that this has become a serious social problem! You are not young, and those men who are slightly more successful these days don't have wives, I just like to find girls in their early twenties. If Mom doesn't worry about you, just rely on your personality, I really don't know when a man will want it?"

Ruxu was so blocked that she couldn't speak, and almost moved "Tan Shaojie" out.Fortunately, she pursed her lips quickly, and she didn't want to poke her own grave.

"Okay, Mom, you don't have to worry about marrying a good girl! I want to spend a few more years with you and Dad."

On the 28th of the twelfth lunar month, the wedding of Xin Ning and Shen Yitang seems to be the hottest topic in Lingjiang City recently.The Yuntian Group has been a corporate star in the shopping malls for these years, and Shen Yitang deliberately pretended to exaggerate the wedding, and did not refuse any major media interviews.Some people say that Xinning is the happiest woman with the most precious true love; others say that this is a commercial means of the Shen family, trying to use the wedding hype to advertise for the Sky Group... Anyway, the five-star hotels and golf clubs under the Sky The two major industries are enough to attract the rich and powerful inside and outside the city to attend the wedding.

As the person involved, Shen Yitang only asked Xinning to eat and sleep well every day, and not to worry about everything else.However, she was still affected, feeling that she was suffering from premarital syndrome, coupled with the discomfort caused by pregnancy, she couldn't sleep well for several nights in a row.On the night before the wedding, Xin Ning went back to her mother's house to sleep, and after much deliberation, she invited Ru Xu to accompany her.

Ruxu couldn't get what she wanted, and when she heard her mother say "doctor" on the left and "blind date" on the right at home, she was almost out of breath.He hurriedly picked up two simple clothes and stayed in Shen's guest room.

Xin Ning finally got rid of Shen Yitang, and was very happy to be able to sleep with her good sister.She covered her chest with her hands, and murmured: "It's strange, it's obviously a remarriage, but my heart is as excited as it was the first time I got married."

Ruxu was both envious and sighed: "Shen Yitang should compensate you. Xinning, cherish it! Marriage is a woman's second life, and not every woman can get a happy rebirth."

Xinning lay on her side and looked at her: "You can do it too, but you don't cherish it."

Ruxu's heart shrank slightly, thinking of Tan Shaojie's confession, the indescribable sourness and contradiction. "I'm not as lucky as you, maybe...but I don't have the courage like you. I still can't imagine how much courage and determination I have to spend my whole life with a man from now on."

"Hehe, the source of motivation that produces this kind of courage and determination is called love. If the marriage partner is Yichen, is it easier for you to imagine?"

"Yichen... I don't know how to put it. Although he is the only man I have been willing to give affection to for many years, I have never lived with him. So sometimes I think, can love really overcome everything? If he also If you fall in love with me, if we get married, will we also quarrel, have conflicts, and finally destroy the original sweet love?"

Xinning held her hand, with a gentle smile on the corner of her mouth. "Oh, you are right. Love and marriage are closely related, but they are two things with different meanings. Love has its ups and downs, and marriage is like daily necessities. It is real. Love is full of countless beautiful imaginations, and the other party can be perfect , but in marriage, you will see the most real flaws in the other person, some of which you have never thought of before. Therefore, when you step into the door of marriage, you must accept many aspects of running-in, let go of some pride and principles, Seek common ground while reserving differences."

Ruxu was silent, and suddenly sighed: "There will be regrets if there is no result with Yichen. But, in fact, I also feel lucky. In this way, he will have a permanent perfection in my heart, and he will never be destroyed in his life."

"You put it that way, I should be happy for you." Xin Ning patted the back of her hand, "But there is one thing I have reflected on for a long time."

"kindness?"

"Is it because the tortuous and painful love experience between me and Yitang has affected you so deeply that you are so cautious about love? But, now that I have waited for happiness, shouldn't you let go and love?" Ruo Xinning still has What a pity, that is, the two best friends are still walking alone on the emotional journey.

(End of this chapter)