If this is not love

Chapter 38 The Last Second of the Finale (2)
It seems, seems, probably... It should have produced very different feelings, otherwise it would not be so uncomfortable.Whenever I think of his last decisive words, and the expression on his face when he resolutely pushed her hand away, I can't restrain my heartache.

Time passed day by day, visiting relatives, visiting, meeting old classmates, and the daily schedule was very full.Eat and drink, come out of this restaurant, and then go into that one to sing K.The surface is bustling and bustling, but the lifelike mind is getting more and more in a trance, and the crowd feels lonely.Even when the sky was clear and the sky was fine, she seemed absent-minded when she went to the mountain with Yichen to burn incense.

"Since you are worried about him, why don't you go to him?" The two sat in the pavilion on the hillside, Yichen said bluntly, shrinking back should not be a vivid style.He has already told Xin Ning what happened on the wedding day, and she should also understand that Tan Shaojie didn't hide anything on purpose, but made people feel guilty because of his car accident.

Ruxu pulled up the snow cap on his clothes to cover half of his face.The wind was a little strong, making her voice light and ethereal.

"He doesn't want to see me."

"He said it himself?"

"Although he didn't say these words himself, his actions were clear and clear. He said that I never understood him, and that he would meet on the road...or pretend not to know him." With a sore nose, just think of these few words , her heart was as if being scratched by a cat, she was extremely uncomfortable.But thinking about his mood at that time, he couldn't help but feel even more poignant.

"He actually said that..." Yichen was speechless, as a man with a heart full of love, he seemed to feel Tan Shaojie's pain.He had long regarded Tan Shaojie as his brother, and he had met the day before yesterday. Tan Shaojie was injured, but he looked in good condition, not like someone who had suffered an emotional blow.He understands that the deeper the person hides, the more serious the injury.

"Xiao Xu, tell me frankly, do you have any regrets now? Have you found that I am no longer so important in your heart, and the person who can stir up your emotions is him!"

Ruxu bit her lips and nodded: "Yichen, you will always be important to me. However, my feelings for you seem to be in the past. I find that I can put it down with a smile, and what I get is calmness and relaxation. .And for him... just the thought that he may not be with him anymore, my heart is..."

She couldn't continue, and Yichen took the topic for her with certainty.

"You fell in love with him, you fell in love with him unknowingly."

Ruxu lowered her head, intertwined her fingers, and her lips trembled slightly: "Yichen...I'm very scared."

"What are you afraid of? Tan Shaojie loves you very much, more than anyone else. You also fell in love with him. This is called 'being in love'. There are many men and women in the world who cannot find the person they love in their lifetime. You are very lucky to have the most precious That share!" Yichen also sighed for himself, but not sad.

"He has given up on me..."

"I don't believe it! Did he tell you himself that he doesn't love you?"

"No…"

"Then what are you worried about? I bet, he won't be able to say the nonsense of not loving you in his life."

"Really?"

"You actually doubt my words?"

"Oh... no, I just don't have confidence."

As soon as Ruxu finished speaking, a big hand patted her shoulder, and Yichen's smile was full of encouragement. "How can you not be confident? As long as he still loves you, you should have enough confidence! Let's go! Let's go down the mountain. He was injured in a car accident and cut off his love at random. This New Year must be difficult. However, this happens to be your display A great time for tender charm."

"Can I?"

"Xiaoxu, the person who asks this kind of question is not like you! As long as you say yes to yourself, you will definitely be able to. Feelings are not a sale, and it is not so easy to return. However, no one can guarantee that it will never change. If you don't hurry up, Don't regret it then!"

"I... don't want to regret it."

"Then go all out. For a man who loves you deeply, it's worth letting go of your pride."

It was already the eighth day of the new year, and the atmosphere of the new year was a little lighter.The night wind is bleak, there are not many people on the street, and occasionally a string of fireworks will rise in the sky.

Wearing a snow-white down jacket, Ruzhen stood in the garden of a luxury residential area with her hands in her pockets.She looked up at a certain unit room, there was no light in the window, and he was not there.It seemed that she had made another trip in vain.

It was the same last time, the day after she was rejected by him, she came here once while struggling.In fact, she was very afraid of being treated coldly again, afraid of hearing his decisive words again, but she still mustered up the courage to ring the doorbell.It's just that he's not at home.While waiting silently with one heart hanging, I finally realized that the scene of him wandering silently downstairs of her house in the past several rainy nights was another burst of sadness...

Yichen laughed at her, saying that she is not low in IQ, but she is too stubborn, getting into a dead end, so stubborn that she would rather suffocate to death than come out.That's asking for trouble, and you can't be sympathetic. If you want to find a turning point, you can only rely on herself.

A black car slowly passed by, Ruyu's eyes brightened instantly.

Tan Shaojie hired an acting driver to drive. He got down from the back seat, his body still straight, and the gauze on his forehead had been removed.Seeing her figure, surprise flashed across his face.She happily ran over, pretending to say hello nonchalantly: "Hi! Happy New Year, Gong Xi Fa Cai, here are the red envelopes."

She stretched out her hand with a smile, but her eyes glanced worriedly at his arm that was still hanging on his chest.Is his injury better?Have you changed your medicine on time?Is there an infection?Are there any food taboos?
He was stunned, with a slight alienation in his eyes, "Why are you here?"

"Happy New Year to you!" She took out a small paper bag out of nowhere and waved it in front of his eyes.

"I'm going to work tomorrow. What kind of New Year's greetings do you have? Go back and rest early!" He said very calmly without any emotion on his face, turned around and walked towards the elevator entrance of the building.

Ruxu tried her best to keep smiling, followed quickly, and said, "The New Year is officially over until the Lantern Festival on the 15th, and it's not too late to pay New Year's greetings now. I came here specially to give you New Year's greetings, you should invite me up for a cup of hot tea, Let's eat some fruit!"

Tan Shaojie pressed the elevator switch, showing indifference all over his body, as if saying: I am not welcome.

Ruxu gritted her teeth and followed him into the elevator.She made up her mind, no matter if she was looked down upon coldly, as long as she was not chased away immediately, it would be considered a big step forward.Starting work tomorrow, we still have to meet at the office, and we absolutely do not want this cold stalemate to continue between the two.

Silence, and more silence.

At the door, Tan Shaojie fumbled for the key in his pocket. He couldn't find it with one hand, so he couldn't find it for a long time.Ruxu immediately helped, reaching into his suit pocket.

Her cold fingers touched his, and her heart twitched.He paused for a moment, then resolutely pulled out her hand.

"I will do it myself."

"It's not convenient for you to move...I'll help you find it." Being rejected, she couldn't bear the loss.

"No inconvenience." He replied lightly.

"Your injury will definitely take a while to recuperate. If you need anything, I can come and help you at any time." She looked up at him, full of expectation.Even a slight nod makes her leap with joy and confidence.

But Tan Shaojie didn't say anything, pursed his lips, and found the key in his trouser pocket.

"If you don't snort, I'll take it as your acquiescence!" Pulling herself together, she pretended to walk briskly into the room.

But he heard his denial behind him: "Thank you. There is nothing here that needs your help."

Ruxu's back was stiff, and she turned around and squeezed out a smile: "There must be something needed! For example, I can cook for you. Although my cooking skills are not as good as yours, you have praised me for my progress before. You can finish the dishes I cook this time..."

"No need."

"Don't rush to refuse! If I don't cook well, or encounter dishes that I don't know how to cook, you can teach me by the side. With you as a famous teacher, I will definitely be able to train outstanding students. Objectively speaking, in fact, I She has a bit of culinary qualifications." She wanted to cook for him with all her heart, just for him alone.

Tan Shaojie's expression finally changed slightly, but instead of being happy, he frowned.Facing her directly, he said in a deep voice, "I won't come back to live here for the time being."

"I don't live here...then where are you going?" Ruxu blinked and understood, "That's right, your current situation needs someone to take care of you, and it's more reassuring to be with Tan Da. I remember you said that Tan Da can do it too." Well, you father and son are very good men."

Tan Shaojie glanced at her, turned his head and entered the bedroom, and after a while, he held a red envelope in his hand and handed it to her.

Ruxu puzzled, "What?"

He simply snatched the small paper bag from her hand and stuffed the red envelope into her palm. "Didn't you come to pay New Year's greetings? I'm here for you. If there's nothing else, I'm going to pack up."

She stared at the little red envelope in a daze, not knowing what to say for a moment.His nose was sore for no reason, and he wanted to cry for no reason.If it was before, he said he would not knock her on the head and say: Wang Ruxu, you are such a stingy woman.It's not too early to give someone a New Year's greeting, the gift is so small, there is no sincerity at all, and you still want to exchange my red envelope?A kiss is almost...

Tan Shaojie didn't look at her, and went back to his room to pack his clothes.Since his parents divorced, he has been rebellious and has spent very little time with his father.Perhaps after experiencing a blow of love, he really matured and suddenly understood his father better than ever.Injured in a car accident, it just provided an opportunity to go back and live together.If he lived alone in this house again, he was afraid... he would not be able to survive the loneliness.

Ruxu followed him to the bedroom door without giving up, let go of her pride and wounded self-esteem, and continued talking to him.

"Do you want me to clean it up for you?"

"Need not."

"Tan Shaojie..." She gritted her teeth, her tone was still soft, "How long are you going to be angry? I have already apologized, why can't you forgive me?"

Tan Shaojie was grabbing a piece of clothing to put into his bag. Hearing this, he straightened his waist and sighed softly: "I've already said that I'm not angry. If I'm not angry, I don't need to forgive anyone. You didn't do anything wrong. You don't need to apologize, otherwise I used to say things that made you angry and bully you, wouldn't I have to apologize a hundred times?"

"But...I would rather you continue to be angry with me and bully me...I don't like the current situation, as if we are more strangers than ordinary friends, and even more distant."

"We were just ordinary friends."

One sentence blocked Ruxu's mouth, she muttered, trying to explain something, but the words were stuck in her throat and it was difficult to speak.She is thin-skinned, and it is not easy to muster up the courage to come on this trip.He was lukewarm, and she felt uncomfortable, reminding herself repeatedly not to give up.If he hadn't been hurt too deeply, how could he treat her like this?It was the evil fruit she planted, and she had to swallow it.He's protecting himself now...

Ugh!
She misses him so much.Even when she was bullied, she felt good in retrospect, because she had figured it out, there was never a single time when he really bullied her...

Tan Shaojie lowered his head, smiled mockingly, and continued to take clothes from the cabinet.

"You're not angry...don't refuse my help if you're not angry." Ruxu took a breath, rushed over to snatch the shirt from his hand, carefully folded it up and packed it into a luggage bag.She didn't even dare to look at his face anymore, she said while doing it: "Tan Da must hope you go back to accompany him, right? Tan Da is a good father, and he loves your son very much!"

Tan Shaojie's eyes flickered, and he heard her comment unexpectedly.There are not many opportunities for father to appear together, especially in the office.He was surprised by how satisfied her father was with her, but how did she know him so well?His father's implicit and deep love, he did not understand until recently.

"Actually, your mother also loves you very much. It is because she loves you so much that she is cautious and overprotective, and doesn't want you to be hurt in the slightest." Ruxu is like this. She always looks at other people's things more rationally. She once suspected that she has a dual personality. " During the Chinese New Year, you eat with your parents..."

"Wang Ruxu, this is a private matter of my family. I don't want to hear irrelevant people talk about them." Tan Shaojie was depressed, and it was all because of her.

"Oh..." Ruxu's chest was hit violently, and her face turned pale.

He himself said that she was irrelevant.There had been such an intimate relationship between them, and since that night, her heart has been occupied by a different kind of emotion every night, full and sore, and she can't sleep well.

He once said that he fell in love with her, asked her to be his girlfriend, and said that he would give her a lifetime of joy and happiness.Now he says she's just someone who doesn't want to do it...

"Apart from clothes, do you want to pretend anything else?" Ruxu asked nonchalantly, pretending not to hear his words.

"En. I'll do it myself." Tan Shaojie took a few commonly used small items from the drawer and put them in the bag.She wanted to help carry the bag, but when he stretched out his arm to pick it up, her movement failed.

He is tall and has long legs. He stepped out of the bedroom in a few steps, but there was no movement behind him.He turned his head and saw her standing there blankly with a sad expression on her face.Frowning helplessly, he said, "What's the matter? Didn't I ask you to help with a hurt expression? I'm in a hurry, and the driver is still waiting downstairs."

Oh, he is still willing to explain to her.

Ruxu's eyes suddenly regained some light, she grabbed the small gift he left on the bedside table, pursed her lips, rushed out, and snatched his bag.

"You forgot this, this is a New Year's gift!" Putting the small paper bag into the bag, she walked ahead and opened the door, "Let's go!"

This time it was Tan Shaojie who was stunned, instead of being angry, she smiled at him?

In the elevator, Ruxu's eyes only fell on his face all the time, as if she knew that the meeting time was too short, she kept looking for topics and spoke eagerly.

"Is your dad very happy? How long do you plan to stay with him? Will you move back and live by yourself when you recover?"

"En." He snorted softly, and one word represented the entire answer.

"Returning to work tomorrow, are you ready for a good start? When Tan Da was the person in charge, he gave us a big bonus every year! If you are stingy, huh! Be careful that we will join forces and fire you."

He lowered his eyes and glanced at her. Since when did she become active in talking and joking?
"Do you know..." Ruxu blinked and observed him more seriously, "My mother arranged a blind date for me on the second day of the Lunar New Year, and the other party is a doctor, and he looks okay..."

"Clang—" The elevator door opened.

"Congratulations, this time we must develop well." Tan Shaojie pulled the corners of his lips, took the luggage bag she was carrying with difficulty, and left her behind in a few steps.

"Hey! Wait for me." Ruxu quickly chased after her, she didn't finish her sentence, did he misunderstand something again?Unfortunately, she hardly had the chance to speak anymore because he was answering the phone.With his arms curled up to hook the luggage bag, his head slightly lowered, he answered the other end of the phone in a low voice.

The driver opened the door for him, and when he got in, the phone call was still in progress.

Ruxu quickly blocked it, not caring about interrupting his call, and tried to smile: "Give me a ride!"

Tan Shaojie raised his eyebrows together, and took three seconds to answer her: "I'm afraid it's not on the way, see you tomorrow."

The car drove away quickly, Ruxu stood in the freezing cold night, with his hands wrapped around his arms, shivering from the inside out.As he said before, he doesn't care about anyone casually, doesn't bring women to the house casually, and doesn't make people happy casually.

Unless you want to.

She didn't understand it before, but now she really understands it.

When he clings to her, clings to her, and stays by her side with all kinds of boring excuses, he's actually putting his heart into it.He had to let go of his figure, pride and masculine self-esteem, so that he would not be scared away by her coldness again and again.She said she hated him countless times, and criticized him countless times without embellishment. If she didn't mean it, how could he bear it?

In the past, he had a heart for her, she didn't have to do anything, and he would give her everything.

Now that she has no intentions, no matter how much she cares about him and tries her best to save him, is it all in vain?

The car drove out of the community slowly, Tan Shaojie hung up the phone, closed his eyes and leaned on the seat.Tired, he didn't want to think about why she suddenly became so unbelievable. He didn't want to be moved by it, but he was afraid that if he moved a little, what was waiting would be an even more desperate abyss.

He is such a determined and thorough person.There is no reservation when giving, and there is no leakage when taking back.He gave her too many opportunities, openly, secretly, domineering, gentle... She was either joking or didn't care, and he was forced to let go.

Sitting on the sofa and watching the news, Tan Mingxu smiled when he saw his son coming back so soon.

"Put the bag in the room first, and I'll get it for you later."

"I can do it myself." Tan Shaojie pushed open the door of a room. Although he seldom came here throughout the year, his room was always kept intact and tidied up by his father himself every day.He was really moved when he heard this from the part-time worker.

"The face is so ugly, can't it be a painful wound?" Tan Mingxu has always been observant, how can he not know his son's knot? "If you miss her little girl, why don't you take the initiative to run over and see her!"

"No, don't talk nonsense." Tan Shaojie looked even more serious.

"What kind of person am I? How can I speak nonsense? You obviously like him. Why do you insist on it?"

"Dad! How many times do you want me to say it? I've given up on it."

"Really? I don't believe it." The old man looked suspicious.

"Forget it if you don't believe me." He didn't bother to explain, his heart was already dying of pain.

"Could it be that your mother said those words, and you were affected?" Zhou Xinnian learned that his son was injured, and came to visit him in a panic, firmly believing that Shaojie's car accident was related to Ruxu.Regarding this matter, Tan Mingxu felt that his ex-wife was the same as before, unreasonable.

"It has nothing to do with mom. I feel tired and can't afford it." Before love, he didn't have enough assurance and confidence, so he wanted to take a break.

Tan Mingxu stepped forward and patted his son on the shoulder, "Hey, Dad believes in his own eyesight, Xiaoxu is not unintentional towards you. However, if you make up your mind about feelings, don't regret it easily in the future. Anyway, I am very happy Come back with me, old man."

"Dad..." Tan Shaojie's throat tightened, "This time, I will stay for a long time."

"Okay! Haha, you can stay as long as you want."

"But you're in charge of the cooking."

"What's the problem? Two single old men can eat delicious food and live comfortably!"

"I won't pay the rent."

"Stinky boy, no one asked you to hand it in!" Tan Mingxu smiled and patted him on the shoulder again, "I'll go to the kitchen to get some food, you have a rest first."

Tan Shaojie stared at his father's back, the corners of his eyes were hot, and he felt the warmth of home that he hadn't had for a long time.

His parents divorced, and he never lived with his father since he transferred from high school. He rented a house alone, sometimes played online games in the dark, and sometimes had carnivals and indulgences with his classmates.His father was worried that he would be idle in the future because he made improper friends, so he proposed to send him abroad to hone his skills in a different environment.

Although he was rebellious, he was unwilling to leave the country, so he made a bet with his father.After two months of sprinting for the college entrance examination, he actually got admitted to the Department of Political Science and Law of a certain university in Beijing.Perhaps, his IQ is a little bit higher than that of ordinary people, so it is easier and more effective to learn everything.Always fooling around in front of others, but doing what he wants to do is no worse than others.Then he suddenly decided to travel the world, and his father neither opposed nor supported him.

(End of this chapter)