The king of ghost horse comedy

Chapter 605 Movie

"Wow, with such a low attendance rate, you still think this movie will be good?" Zhao Yazhi looked at the sparse audience in the theater and asked in surprise.

"Few people have watched it, but it doesn't mean it's not good-looking. It's high-profile." Xu Guanwu waved his hand and said, "You'll find out after watching it. This movie is definitely a sincere one."

"Ah Wu, is this movie really that good?" Lin Qingxia asked suspiciously, "It's really hard to imagine such a low attendance rate."

"Hey, you don't believe what I'm saying. It's better to watch the movie after it starts, and then you'll know if I'm right or not." Xu Guanwu smiled.

Zhao Yazhi and Lin Qingxia were skeptical, and after waiting for a while, the movie finally started showing.

Skip the movie company logo in front, and when the movie really starts, a ferry boat appears in front of people. The people on the boat are carrying chicken coops, and they can be seen as chicken dealers at a glance.

The ferry sailed away immediately after sending the two people ashore, but the two peddlers walked into the woods with chicken coops on their backs, but saw the trees in front of them and the smoke filled it like a maze.

The two just wanted to go to the village to sell the chickens, but they didn't know that there was a dead end ahead.It is the pig that looks like a butcher's house, and comes to seek death with one foot.

At this time, one of the peddlers was in a hurry to urinate and went to the depths of the woods to relieve himself.Another peddler couldn't wait to explore the way forward, but suddenly saw a person squatting there, and hurried forward to ask the way.The man turned around suddenly, but the peddler was startled. He saw a strange mask on his head and a sharp butcher knife in his hand.

The peddler thought he had encountered a robber, so he turned around and ran away. At this moment, two masked monsters appeared from behind, slashing at him with butcher knives.And they seemed to be lunatics, even though they hit chicken coops, they still chopped more than ten times in a row.And it just makes weird noises, but can't say a whole sentence.

The peddler dodged for a while, and finally died tragically under the butcher's knives of the three masked men, uttering a series of screams.And his companion heard the voice and found him, and he couldn't help being shocked when he saw his companion lying in a pool of blood.Just as he was about to flee, at this time, four masked monsters surrounded him from all directions, blocking him in the middle, screaming excitedly.

The naive peddler thought he had encountered robbers, so he wanted to give them the chicken. He just wanted to save his life.But those masked monsters ignored him and still carried him towards the village.

Swish, as soon as the screen switched, two big blood-red characters of "Abattoir" were displayed, and then the hacked peddler and his surviving companion were dragged in by several masked monsters.

After entering the slaughterhouse, the masked man lifted the dead peddler to the chopping board like a dead pig, and threw the live chicken they brought into the firewood pot without plucking the feathers and internal organs. , and then directly cover the pot.

"Wow, you guys are so cruel to chickens." Seeing this, the peddler said in surprise.

Those people turned around and pushed the peddler onto the chopping board, and then tied his limbs with chains. He yelled too loudly, and even had a piece of cloth on his mouth.The peddler felt that something was wrong and was about to yell, but saw the masked man with a butcher knife in his hand, like a pig butcher, disemboweled his companion, and pulled out a bunch of intestines.

"Ugh!" Xu Guanwu was watching with relish, when he heard the sound of retching in his ears, turned his head and saw Zhao Yazhi covering her mouth with a handkerchief, retching continuously.

Xu Guanwu looked to the other side curiously, but saw Lin Qingxia covering her eyes with her hands, not daring to look.

"Qingxia, open your eyes, something beautiful is coming." Xu Guanwu laughed softly.

Believing it was true, Lin Qingxia took her hands away and opened her eyes, only to see the scene where two masked men saw the undead peddler in half with a big saw in their hands.There was blood dripping and howling. Although it was an 80s movie, the special effects had been done so perfectly that it was impossible to tell that it was just a play.

"Ouch!" Lin Qingxia couldn't take it anymore, and began to retch too.

Xu Guanwu continued to look down, but saw that the two peddlers were cut into several pieces by the masked man, and the chicken in the pot was also boiled.A masked man was holding a dead, rotten chicken that hadn't been plucked yet, and let out a horrifying laugh.

Then a masked man stood on the wall and rang the gong. The villagers in the village immediately cheered when they heard it, "Wow, the goods have arrived again!"

Several people even wore white cloths with "Security" written on them, and each of them carried a thick bamboo stick. Everyone cheered and rushed to the "Dajiazu Ancestral Hall" as if they were fighting local tyrants to divide the fields.

At this time, several masked monsters came over pushing the small cart, whistling and drinking.When people saw it, they cheered and rushed upwards. Those who wore the armbands of "Security" held bamboo sticks to block the crowd and were responsible for maintaining law and order.

Just when the order was about to get out of control, they heard a stern shout, and everyone stood aside, looking at the person with fear on their faces, only to see a person with his hands behind his back, holding a bamboo stick, beating loudly. walked over.

Everyone showed frightened and flattering expressions, and greeted respectfully, "Captain!"

This person came to the steps of the great ancestral hall, turned around just now, but saw him with a beard and a majestic expression, "How much more did you buy this time?"

"There are two people in total, cut into 39 sections, and there are eight chickens in addition." The subordinate replied.

"It's good for two people, we can finally eat meat"

“It’s been a long time since I’ve eaten meat, this one is really good”

Below the steps, the villagers said happily.

"39 pieces of meat, eight chickens, and a total of 100 people in the village, those surnamed Li in the east, those surnamed Wang in the west, and those surnamed Zhang in the south, what they should share is..." An accountant held an abacus in his hand and turned the abacus beads. The son muttered something in his mouth.

The captain overturned the account books and abacus in his hand, "Fuck your grandma, this meat was obtained by our security team, so it should be distributed by our security team. I decided that our security team will share 30 yuan this time." , there are nine yuan left for you guys to share."

"Wow, it's not fair. You have so few people but you get 30 yuan, and we have so many people but you only have nine yuan. How can nine yuan be enough?"

"It's not fair!"

The villagers in the audience kept calling Qu Dao.

"Unfair?! Well, these eight chickens will be given to you." The captain said, pointing to the eight dead chickens hanging beside him.

"How can eating chicken be enjoyable!" a villager wailed.

"Okay, okay, we can share as the captain says." At this time, a man dressed as a Taoist stood up and said, "But everyone, after eating the meat, don't forget to come to the ancestral hall at night to save these dead souls. "

……

"Ouch!" Zhao Yazhi and Lin Qingxia couldn't help but vomited again when they saw that these masked monsters killed these people for the purpose of eating human flesh, and these villagers were still addicted to it.

"Wow, what kind of movie is this, why is it so disgusting?" Zhao Yazhi couldn't help but vomit.

"Is this director Xu Ke a psychopath, making such a film?" Lin Qingxia also frowned and said, "Oh my God, it's only been on for more than ten minutes, and there is still more than an hour left. I really want to watch it." I can't go down."

"Me too, Ah Wu, why don't we watch it and go home." Zhao Yazhi also said.

Xu Guanwu smiled, grabbed Lin Qingxia's hand with one hand, and grabbed Zhao Yazhi's hand with the other, "Don't leave, the money is all spent, go after reading it."

Zhao Yazhi and Lin Qingxia struggled a few times, but they couldn't break away from Xu Guanwu's hand, so they had to sit down with him again.

"Honey, why do you like watching this kind of movies?" Zhao Yazhi asked with a frown.

"It looks good." Xu Guanwu smiled, "Don't you think so?"

"I think this is the ugliest, ugliest movie in the world. The director who made this movie is psychopathic, and the audience who watched this movie are also..." Lin Qingxia couldn't help but said.

"What?!" Xu Guanwu asked.

"Pervert." Zhao Yazhi added from the side.

Xu Guanwu frowned, "Okay, since you say I'm perverted, then I'll show you perverted." Xu Guanwu opened his mouth wide and bit towards Lin Qingxia.

Lin Qingxia was startled, and hurriedly dodged to the side, but Xu Guanwu grabbed her hand, and before she could dodge to the seat next to her, she was bitten on the wrist by Xu Guanwu, leaving a clear tooth mark.

"Hmph! I hate it, it makes people wet." Lin Qingxia wiped the drool on her wrist and said, "Look, what does it mean to have a tooth mark on it?"

"No, I will give you a private watch, the only one in the world." Xu Guanwu smiled.

Zhao Yazhi couldn't bear the two flirting and cursing in front of her, so she couldn't help but patted Xu Guanwu, "Okay, you two should be quiet, it's not good to disturb others watching the show."

Xu Guanwu nodded, and said to Lin Qingxia, "Okay, obediently accompany me to finish watching this drama, and we can fight again when we get home tonight."

"But this movie is so scary, people will have nightmares at night after watching it." Lin Qingxia said timidly.

"It doesn't matter, don't you have me to accompany you at night?" Xu Guanwu smiled, "Well watch it, there will be exciting things later."

Lin Qingxia was obedient, sat back in her seat, and continued watching with Xu Guanwu.

……

At this time, the movie has already mentioned that two people came to the big hometown by boat. One of them was caught in a trap and was hung high on a tree. The other took the opportunity to steal his money and swaggered into the village.

The man hanging on the tree was played by Xu Shaoqiang. He is quite popular now, and as long as he has money to make, he never picks plays, so his appearance rate is quite high.In this film, he plays Jiu Jiujiu, a central agent who hunts down Wang Yang's thief Rolex.

Just as he was trying to get out, at this time, several masked monsters surrounded him.

Lin Qingxia didn't dare to look any further, she covered her eyes, groaned, and hid in Xu Guanwu's arms.

Xu Guanwu hugged her tightly, but his eyes were still fixed on the big screen, not noticing Zhao Yazhi's jealous eyes.

As expected of a central spy, Jiu Jiujiu defeated the strange masked man with his good kung fu, and the strange masked man also died under his own butcher's knife inexplicably.

It is worth mentioning that during this fight, the masked man still couldn't speak, but made all kinds of weird calls, coupled with the butcher knife in his hand and the mask on his face, it seemed to be an unintelligible man in the legend. , I only know how to eat people.

After Jiujiujiu got out of trouble, he came to his hometown.But Bao Tiedan, the thief who entered the village first, is in trouble now.

After he entered the village, he immediately attracted the attention of the villagers.In order to catch him to eat meat, the villagers tried all kinds of methods, such as covering his head with sacks, sneaking up on him secretly, etc., but Bao Tiedan escaped by accident.However, the actions of the villagers did not arouse his vigilance. He only thought that some local gangsters wanted to rob him of his belongings, but he did not expect that they cared not about his money, but about his hundred catties of flesh.

After Bao Tiedan entered the village, he still did not change his habit of petty theft. He heard a vision coming from a house, and immediately sneaked in, but met a very ugly woman. The general pounced on him and ripped off his pants, almost making him lose his virginity.

Seeing this, Xu Guanwu couldn't help laughing. This sturdy, nympho beauty dressed as a woman by the famous giant Xiao Jinnan in Hong Kong is not inferior to the flowers that often appear in Zhou Xingchi's movies.And since this is a 1980 movie, it is at least ten years earlier than Zhou Xingchi's "Like a Flower".

It can also be seen from this that Xu Ke's comedy talent is actually quite strong.

(End of this chapter)