Left-behind women in Fuzhou

Chapter 2 The Story of Meiniang (2)
I still can't figure out why we were so greedy during that time.Every minute we spend together, we create new joy in every minute.I have been wondering whether Mei Niang is born a woman who cannot do without a man, born with a high sexual desire, every cell and every piece of skin in her plump body is full of vigorous sexual desire.

Because of Mei Niang, in those days, other women didn't have any attraction for me.Walking on the street, holding Mei Niang's hand, I raised my face high, bearing the blazing southern sun, and my face was full of pride and happiness.I think I am the happiest man in Fuzhou.

One afternoon, a girl who had just graduated from college suddenly came to the newspaper office.This girl named Zhang Liang lives up to her name. She was assigned to the publishing department and worked with my partner to compose the edition.Every night, I hand over the edited manuscript to her, and she will design the layout and arrange the layout on the computer.I still remember that when she came to work on the first day, she was wearing an apricot T-shirt and white cropped pants.In Fuzhou, a southern city where the hot season lasts for several months every year, capri pants are the choice of many girls.The colorful clothes wrapped Zhang Liang upright and beautifully, charmingly.She is the prettiest of a dozen girls in the publishing department.

At midnight, when we got off work, Zhang Jing asked me to take her home, and I agreed.In those days, gossip about a hooligan group who robbed and raped girls who came home at night flew all over the city like summer gnats, making the streets of Fuzhou sparsely populated at midnight.I sent Zhang Liang home, walked out of the office building of the newspaper, and crossed the road, only to find that she was living in a first-floor apartment across the road.She looked at me with sparkling eyes and said, go upstairs?I hardly even hesitated, just said, no, I'm going home.I have Mei Niang in my heart, and only Mei Niang in my heart.

I heard from colleagues that Zhang Liang's father opened several factories in the economically developed areas of southern Fujian. As soon as Zhang Liang went to work at the newspaper office, he bought a house for his daughter opposite the newspaper office.

Then, after get off work at midnight every day, Zhang Liang asked me to take her home. In fact, her home is very close to the newspaper office. Standing at the window of the office, I can see the vaulted roof of the building where her home is located.And when I go home, the street lights are shining all the way.I faintly feel that she is in love with me. Sometimes, when we make a version together, our arms will collide. She doesn't shy away from it, but she will get closer to me.The eyes she looked at me also had a deeper content, hazy and poetic.

Once, I told Mei Niang, a girl from the newspaper office fell in love with me, what should I do?
Mei Niang showed great interest and asked, what kind of girl is she.

I introduced Zhang Liang's situation, Mei Niang said, silly brother, such a good girl, what are you waiting for.

I said, I only love you, I don't love anyone.

Mei Niang said, how can I do that, I am someone else's wife, I can't delay your happiness.

Once Mei Niang said to me, I was very unfortunate to meet you.I just wanted to play with you casually. I didn't expect you to have real feelings, and I'm about to have real feelings. What should we do if this continues?
I smiled and said, what should I do?Let it be cold.Who would have real affection for an old woman like you.You take me too lightly.

Mei Niang said seriously, I can tell that you can't hide anything from my eyes.You are transparent, and I am also transparent.Because neither of us cheated on the other, we were both sincere.

I was suddenly a little sad, she is someone else's wife, she has said many times, this is reality, although I have never wanted to admit this reality, even though I have been avoiding this reality.

I said, didn't you say that?If you have no money, you must be handsome; if you are not handsome, you must be cool; if you are not cool, you must be talented; if you are not talented, you must be humorous; if you are not humorous, you must be Be faithful to women.But I have nothing, maybe only a little loyalty to you.How can you like me?
Mei Niang said, you are an outstanding man, you have no shortage of property, you are handsome, you are cool, you are talented, you are humorous, and you are also very loyal and infatuated.It's a pity that we are 5 years apart, and it's a pity that I'm already someone else's wife.

I said, I'll wait for you to get divorced, and wait for you to marry me.

Mei Niang said, I can't get a divorce, I'm already tied to the same boat as him.

I am silent.

You will find out later.Mei Niang said.

Mei Niang has always been unwilling to tell me why she didn't get a divorce. I asked her once, but her face was full of sadness. I could see that she had something to hide.

After we dated for two months, the newspaper office had various rumors about me.They say I play with women under the guise of hosting a relationship show, they say I have a dozen girlfriends, and they say I kill every woman I interview.The leader of the newspaper also talked to me once, and said insinuatingly that he wanted me to strengthen my ideological and moral cultivation, young people, there is still a long way to go.The director of the department also half-jokingly said during a meal that you are of a very high level, and women have become your crotch.

I was in great pain. In fact, during that time, I only had Mei Niang. If I had Mei Niang, would I need to find another woman?In front of my Mei Niang, all women are eclipsed.

I asked Chen Kai what was going on, why I was talked about and paid attention to all over the city.Chen Kai told me that I heard from others that they saw me holding hands with Meiniang on the street more than once, and they were very intimate.And one of Mei Niang's neighbors works as a reporter in a newspaper office.They all knew that Mei Niang was a married woman.

Chen Kai also said that a beautiful woman like Mei Niang will attract attention anytime and anywhere when she walks on the street.

It turned out to be the case.

I was in great pain.

I once thought about taking her to a strange place, a place where no one knew us, a place where no one knew our past, where we lived a life of men farming and women weaving in a paradise, and we could be small For business, we open a small shop, and our requirements for life are not high, as long as we can meet food and clothing, as long as we can stay together.

I once went to a bookstore and stayed in the map counter for a long time. I flipped through the map, looking for the route of our elopement, and choosing where to settle.I have always been in love with Dali and Lijiang. The beautiful scenery and simple folk customs there will accept us. We opened a small shop, specializing in northern snacks. At dusk, we yelled at the tourists passing by - Hey, mutton skewers Come, kebabs.

But Mei Niang said, I can't leave Fuzhou, I have the responsibility to stay here, I need to wait for my husband to come back.

Later, Zhang Liang no longer asked me to take her home, and she probably heard about the incident between Meiniang and me.

But to this day, I have not regretted it. What Mei Niang gave me is something no woman can give.Mei Niang made me realize what the most beautiful, gentle and mature woman is like.

The season has shifted to autumn unknowingly.

One day, when we went to climb a mountain called Beifeng in the north of Fuzhou, we suddenly found fallen leaves all over the ground, withered and fragile, covering the entire mountain path peacefully.From time to time, gray-yellow hares ran past in panic, crashing to the ground with a crashing sound.The trees that have lost their leaves appear simple and refreshing, as beautiful as a charcoal sketch.Counting, we have known each other for more than 3 months, and we have walked hand in hand for a whole summer.This summer goes by so fast.

There are some villas on both sides of the mountain road. The European-style buildings with spires and red walls and green tiles make us seem to have come to another world.I don’t know which house’s stereo was playing Faye Wong’s "I Wish I Could Live Forever". The melodious and desolate music made us stop involuntarily, and we hugged each other gently.I have never heard Faye Wong's sad and emotional voice before. I didn't like pop music at first, and I always thought that pop music was shallow and pale, moaning without illness.However, at that moment, Faye Wong's voice suddenly hit me, and I couldn't help trembling slightly, tears almost bursting out of my eyes.Turning her head, Mei Niang's eyes were also stained with tears.

Later, after we broke up, I didn't dare to listen to this song "I hope people will last forever". I knew that when that familiar melody sounded again, I would not be able to control myself, I would burst into tears, and I would Crazy, I will think of my Mei Niang, and I will never forget my Mei Niang in my life.We are fused together.

At Beifeng, which is far away from the hustle and bustle of the urban area, there are few tourists, only the mountain wind blows slowly, blowing off the leaves that have been yellowed by the seasons.An unknown bird sang joyously on the branches, and the voice was sometimes rapid, sometimes gentle, sometimes intense, and sometimes lingering.We imitated the singing of birds, and the weird calls first startled us, and then scared away the singing birds on the branches.We held hands like children, bouncing on the rugged mountain road, panting.We completely forgot that in the city just below the mountain, all kinds of unhappiness lingered like a shadow, fate arranged that we could not walk together, and we could not resist fate.

Standing on the top of the mountain, we screamed like children and sang songs that had been transposed.We picked up pebbles and competed to see who could throw it right on the tree trunk.Mei Niang said that she has never been so happy, she has been living in depression and depression, she is always preoccupied, she said, she may be born with a tragic character.

We were lying on a smooth rock at the top of the mountain, and the clouds drifting by in the sky were so close that we could touch them.The mountain wind blows over our cheeks, like a gentle palm caressing.We just lay there, just like on the bed in my rental house, very close to each other, very close, and the sound of each other's breathing can be clearly heard.The sun shines on us through the bushes, and it also shines on a butterfly in flight. The wings of the butterfly are transparent and beautiful, colorful and dazzling.The sun also suddenly awakened the most slender feeling in my heart. Those feelings grew in the bottom of my heart like water plants, and slowly covered me. I suddenly had a strong impulse, happy and comfortable.Meiniang's place was wet, but she forcefully pushed away my arm that was about to move, saying, how can we defile such a beautiful scenery.I was suddenly so ashamed that I hated my untimely impulse.

Mei Niang looks so trendy and wears bold clothes, but she is actually very traditional in her heart.

After turning over the North Peak, the line of sight suddenly becomes wider, and there are many mountains in the distance, flowing like waves into the smoky distance.Nearby, at the foot of the mountain, there are a few apricot-yellow houses with raised eaves, hidden among green pines and cypresses.Under the bright sunshine in the afternoon, there seemed to be a dull bell ringing faintly.

We meandered all the way to the foot of the mountain, only to find that it was a temple.

The temple wall is very tall, but it is very dilapidated. From the "Buddha" characters as tall as a person dancing on the wall, you can vaguely see the glory of the past.The path leading to the mountain gate is covered with fine gravels, and weeds grow tenaciously in the gaps between the gravels, trembling in the already chilly autumn wind.Inside the temple wall, there are a few old temples with carved beams and painted buildings, and a few old and tired banyan trees that have also gone through the vicissitudes of time.

Walking into the temple, we were immediately as calm as water, full of piety, and even the sound of our footsteps rose and fell gently.The temple was submerged in the great silence of the afternoon, we involuntarily separated the hands we had been holding, and walked gently towards the main hall.

In the center of the main hall is a statue of Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva, sitting upright, graceful and magnanimous, with a kind face.I knelt down on the futon in front of the statue, folded my hands, and prayed silently.Over the years, no matter where I go, I only worship Bodhisattva. Perhaps because of the influence of a book I read in my youth, I have always stubbornly believed in the existence of Guanyin Bodhisattva. She has been living in a place unknown to us. , silently caring for all living beings in our world.She also saw my pain and the torment in my heart, and I prayed that she could help me get rid of it, she must know the way to get rid of it.

Mei Niang also knelt down, she clasped her hands together, her middle fingertips touched her lower lip lightly, her eyes were slightly closed, she was praying silently, I couldn't hear clearly.

Among the many cities I have been to after working, Fuzhou is undoubtedly the place with the most temples. Every mountain, every street, and even some deserted alleys also have temples.Some are so dilapidated that they have become broken walls, while others are full of incense in the morning and evening, just like Xichan Temple and Kaiyuan Temple in the downtown area, and Yongquan Temple on the top of Drum Mountain, where there are many pilgrims every day.I have always felt that Fuzhou is not like a city in Middle Earth, but rather a place in Southeast Asia.

One day later, I asked Meiniang, what wish did you make in front of Guanyin Bodhisattva at the North Peak, and she said, I will ask the Bodhisattva to bless me and bless my husband to return safely.I was silent and dejected.She loves her husband, has always loved her husband.But love is one thing, lust is another.There is only her husband in her heart, and I can't walk in.

After we prayed, we turned around and walked out. Suddenly, we saw a very old and very old nun walking towards us, wearing a yellow cassock, with a clear face and kind eyes. Melted the block and ice in my heart.That smile let me know what kindness is and what is love.

The old nun's name is Huijing. She became a monk and lived in this temple since she was a child.Maybe it should be called nunnery, "monk temple, nunnery".For decades, Master Huijing has been living in this empty mountain forest. The flowers bloom and fall, the clouds are surging, the silent years and the beautiful nature have infiltrated Master Huijing into ethereal and detached, without a trace of dust. Li, her face is smooth, her eyes are bright, and there are a few shallow and fine wrinkles at the corners of her eyes, it is impossible to tell her real age.She is the host here.

We sat in Master Huijing's simple but neat meditation room, savoring the tea she brewed for us carefully, and there was a faint fragrance on the teacup.Master Huijing's tone is calm, just like her calm face, which makes people calm and forget themselves.We asked about the situation here, and Master Huijing said that there are more than ten nuns and more than 30 children here.

We looked at her in amazement, her eyes were calm, like deep well water.She said that the custom in southern Fujian favors sons over daughters, and those children are all abandoned babies she picked up in southern Fujian, and they are all girls.The oldest is 15 years old and the youngest is only three years old.Now studying in the backyard.

We were even more surprised.Master Huijing said that it is the time for children to gain knowledge, and she has the responsibility to let them learn culture, and she cannot delay them.In addition to studying homework like children in the world, they also need to study Buddhism.Many teachers from the city come here regularly to teach children homework on a voluntary basis.However, there has been no English teacher and classical Chinese teacher.Buddhism is written in ancient Chinese, and children must have a solid foundation in ancient Chinese.

I suddenly thought of those temples in Fuzhou city, where there were so many tourists every day, but here was a desolate place.I once saw a pilgrim donate a huge sum of tens of thousands of yuan to Kaiyuan Temple in the center of the city, and I also saw the abbot of Yongquan Temple on the top of Gushan driving a Mercedes-Benz, but the nuns here adopted so many abandoned baby, but worry about life and education.For an interview, I once walked into the meditation room of the abbot of Kaiyuan Temple. The huge boss table was placed in the center of the room, and the walls were surrounded by several pieces of mahogany furniture. From the exquisite carvings, I knew that the meditation room was very expensive. Master Huijing’s meditation room was simple. It looks like the cave dwellings in Yan'an during the Anti-Japanese War.I couldn't help feeling sad for a while.Looking back, I saw that Mei Niang also had a sad face.

We walked out of the meditation room and walked along the narrow corridor to the back of the temple.The two dilapidated houses were covered by an unusually large banyan tree. The roof tiles were dark and covered with moss, which seemed to exude a quiet and musty atmosphere.Master Huijing said that it is the children's teachers and dormitories.

The children are resting in the classroom.The children's books were spread out on the tattered and incomplete tables, and the stools were crumbling, making us worry about them sitting on them.All of them have shaved their heads, and their thin and thin bodies are wrapped in wide robes and long gowns, which makes people feel cute when they look at them.Mei Niang hugged a child in the front row, and hugged her tightly to her chest, tears suddenly flowed down, she finally couldn't help it, and burst into tears.

Back in the meditation room, we took out all the money we had on us and handed it to Zen Master Huijing.

On the way back to Fuzhou, Mei Niang told me that she would come here regularly to tutor the children in English.She originally graduated from Xi'an University of Foreign Languages ​​and was assigned to teach in a middle school in Nanping. Later, she could not be transferred to Fuzhou because of work, and various checkpoints blocked her file in Fuzhou. She resigned angrily.

I said, I will come here to teach ancient Chinese to the children.

Later, every weekend, we would ride bicycles down the mountain, send the bicycles to the old man who had lost his hair, walk over the North Peak, and come here to teach these poor children voluntarily.Every time, Meiniang would bring some toys and fruits that the children liked very much. Seeing the children surrounding her, Meiniang always had a bright smile on her face.

Day after day, life is simple and boring, there is no passion, no happiness, only haste and emptiness.Every day I come to the newspaper office early, just to be able to grab the clues of the previous night's report.

On the eve of May Day, several friends from the former newspaper office came to Fuzhou. They were born in the north and had never seen the sea, so they came here specially.I couldn't accommodate them in my humble rental house, so I took them to live in Sauna City.In fact, entertaining friends at Sang's has become a habit of many Fuzhou people.

We came to the largest sauna city on that road. That sauna city has a very evocative name, which makes people think about it.Walking up the long steps and coming to the bar, when I looked up, I found that it was Ah Qing who was receiving the customers.

(End of this chapter)