Left-behind women in Fuzhou

Chapter 4 The Story of Meiniang (4)
Mei Niang is reading the text, her English pronunciation is very pure, sweet, soft and tactful.The children read aloud after her in unison, their voices were chaotic and clear, like water splashing.Some children read wrongly, she stepped down from the podium, gently patted the child's shaved head with the palm of her hand lovingly, the frightened child smiled in relief, she also laughed, and all the children in the classroom laughed easily Voice.

That is the most dilapidated classroom in China I have ever seen, and it is also the most friendly and relaxed classroom atmosphere in China I have ever seen.

I think Mei Niang is really nice.She is so beautiful and kind. It was the Buddha who sent her to my side and let us get to know each other. I must treat her well.Such a beautiful girl, I should be satisfied if I can stand shoulder to shoulder with her and share the love with her.Do I still have to covet the result?
I think, if the Buddha didn't let us know each other, why would we come here, come to this temple in the deep mountains, and pass on our knowledge, all we have, to these lonely children, the children adopted by these temples , these little Buddhist disciples.

I think it is the will of the Buddha to know her.If one day we really break up, that is also the will of the Buddha.I can't go against it.

All I can do is cherish every day with her.

Wuyi Square at night is the most lively place in Fuzhou.Wuyi Square is the center of Fuzhou City.

When dusk comes, the colorful lanterns on the square will light up together, illuminating the ground and sky like daytime.Countless people gathered in the square.Although it is already late autumn, Fuzhou's late autumn is not cold, the street trees are still green, and the branches are blooming with bright flowers.In the north, this season is already cold and windy, and the grass is drenched in the sky. People wear thick and bloated cotton-padded clothes, and hold hands that are red from the cold, rushing back to the room with raging charcoal fire, but here, late autumn is the best time. The most poetic and romantic season.

On the high steps to the north of Wuyi Square, stands a huge statue of Mao Zedong, as white as jade, as tall as a five-story building.Beside the statue, there is also a tall horse, the horse soars into the sky, and it seems to be screaming.It is said that it used to be Mao Zedong's mount.In the following years as a reporter, I have traveled to many cities. Whether it is Mobei outside the Great Wall or the water towns in the south of the Yangtze River, each city has a wide square. However, I have never seen a single square in those squares with a strong modern atmosphere. It will be like Wuyi Square in Fuzhou, which still retains a strong cultural revolution color.

That night, Meiniang and I came to Wuyi Square. The center of the square was crowded with people, and there were huge speakers on the lawn, and strong rhythmic music was playing in the speakers.People—known and unknown, young and not so young, dance together to the beat.That kind of uniform movement is shocking and exciting.Smiles bloomed on everyone's faces, and even the air became anxious and excited.In other cities, I have never seen such a scene, which is so exciting and makes every cell in my body beating vigorously.

Meiniang and I also joined the dancing ranks, we stomped vigorously in time with the beat, and twirled briskly.The crowd is like a torrent, and we are two waves in the torrent. We are surrounded by happiness, submerged, and then floated up. Our mind and soul are flying gently over the city and the dark night.

Just one song, we have fine beads of sweat on our bodies.We fanned our cheeks with our palms and found a wooden seat.Just when she was about to sit down, she suddenly heard someone call Mei Niang's name.

We turned our heads and saw a small and exquisite woman standing in front of us.The hair is yellow, very long, and hangs loosely behind her head. Her small head is almost unbearable, and her face is slightly raised. Her facial features are also very delicate and impeccable.

A very delicate and delicate southern beauty.

Mei Niang told me that her name was Alian.

I clearly felt that Mei Niang was getting farther and farther away from me, but I couldn't grasp her, there was nothing I could do.She can't do anything, I believe she loves me, just like I love her, but that marriage certificate separates us like a deep chasm that we can't cross.

Meiniang often told me that she had a sense of guilt and that she was not a good woman.If her husband hadn't gone abroad, she would never have taken this step.

I'm always comforting her, but every time I talk, I feel ashamed. I'm not comforting her, but rather trying to relieve myself.I can't justify myself.

I said, I am the one who should be blamed, you are not wrong.No one will blame you.I deserve to be cast into the abyss of eternity because I seduced you.

I said, food, sex, sex, how can sexual desire be forcibly suppressed?It's like a flood, you can't block it, you can only channel it.Forcibly blocking the dam will cause the dam to collapse and flood the sky.

Mei Niang said, I think of a novel I read in my youth. A woman lost her husband right after she got married. In the past, a married woman could not remarry.She couldn't get through the long night, so she dumped a box of matches in the house, picked them up one by one, and put them neatly back in the matchbox.Then she fell on the ground indiscriminately, and picked it up again... In this way, she stayed up until dawn, day after day.When I was a teenager, I couldn't understand the young widow's behavior. I always wondered why she did it. Now, I understand.

During those days, there was a movie called "The Lord of the Rings" that was being released in theaters in Fuzhou.Let's go and see together. "The Lord of the Rings" filled the usually calm cinemas.That is said to be the highest-grossing film with the largest investment since the film came out, and we always think it is unprecedented.Those beautiful pictures and twists and turns of the plot left us stunned and stunned. During the viewing process, she kept holding my hand tightly, screaming with the audience full of women.At that time, there was a saying among the young people in Fuzhou that if you want to make further progress with your girlfriend, you should take her to watch "Lord of the Rings", because she will unconsciously hold on to you at the climax of the plot hand, unwilling to let go.

I have read "The Lord of the Rings" once, and now I don't have much impression. However, I still remember a plot in it-Gandalf was wrapped around his ankle by the fire whip of the Balrog. Holding the cliff tightly with both hands, the body fell down the cliff inch by inch.Aragorn wanted to turn around to save him, but there was a deep ravine.At that moment, the hustle and bustle all over the sky suddenly became silent, and only Gandalf's helpless voice echoed in the canyon. He was telling Aragorn——Go away!
I remember crying when I saw this scene.For a long time later, when I think of this scene, I still can't help tears.Because the helplessness of Gandalf and Aragorn is the helplessness of Meiniang and me.

It's the weekend again.

We had a chance to be together again. We went to Beifeng to teach the children. In the presence of Master Huijing and the children, my troubles and pains eased.They all know that we are a pair of lovers, a pair of very loving and very good lovers.

That day, when she came out of the temple, Mei Niang borrowed two Buddhist scriptures from Master Huijing. They were two books with yellowed pages and vertical handwriting, and there were traces of brush circles on them. Experience left behind.Meiniang took the book from Master Huijing with both hands, and I saw her devout and solemn expression.I didn't ask her why she read such difficult and profound scriptures.

I feel that I can no longer walk into her heart.

Back from the North Peak that day, we pushed our bicycles and walked all the way.Walking from the suburbs to the city, crossing dusty avenues and wading through clanking streams, we got sleepy, and then sat down in a small shop by the roadside.We ordered two plates of the cheapest noodles and two bottles of beer. We ate hot and drank heartily.

The shop is run by a husband and wife, the shop is not big, there are only a few tables and stools inside, and there are only a few simple vegetables on the chopping board.When we were eating, the couple sat quietly on the side. They didn't say a word, but from the way they looked at each other, it could be seen that they were very affectionate.Then, a dirty kid ran in from outside, covered in dust and mud on his face.They held the child in their arms, gently patted the dust on the child, and scolded the child in a harsh but loving tone. The child giggled and acted coquettishly.

After we came out of the small shop, we were on the road again, Mei Niang said, I envy that couple very much.I have no extravagant demands on life, I just hope to be with my husband and have a healthy child.Three people are together, whether they are poor or rich, they will never be separated.

The couple and the family in the small shop made Meiniang so envious.

When we walked back to downtown Fuzhou, it was already night.At the entrance of a hotel, I suddenly had an idea.We have known each other for so long, and we have never stayed outside. Tonight, we will be extravagant.

The overnight stay in that hotel cost as much as 300 yuan. I took out the money from the savings card I carried with me.I said, no reason, just want to make you happy.When you are happy, I feel happy.

The hotel room at 300 yuan per night is really different from my rental house. The walls of the room are decorated with mirrors on all sides. The snow-white quilt is spread on the wide bed, and one corner of the quilt is lifted up, like a girl’s skirt, which attracts people. reverie.Soaking in the bathtub, wrapped in warm water and floating, is as happy and comfortable as floating in the clouds.

Suddenly, Mei Niang's cell phone rang, and the sound was extremely harsh in the silent room.Meiniang ran out wrapped in a bath towel, and answered in Hokkien that I couldn't understand.I couldn't hear what she and the other party were saying, but I could tell that she was eager.

They talked for a long time.Mei Niang curled up on the bed with one leg, and one leg hung down beside the bed, bending her waist to answer the phone, I walked out of the bathroom, wiped my whole body dry, turned on the bedside lamp, lay on the bed, and held a I read several pages of this book, while Mei Niang was still on the phone.Her voice was sometimes urgent and sometimes sobbing. When I turned my head to look, her face was full of tears.

I don't have the heart to read anymore, I don't know what happened.

After about an hour, maybe longer, Mei Niang finally hung up the phone, and she walked into the bathroom. There was the sound of pulling papers in the bathroom, and her extremely suppressed low cry came from the bathroom.

After she came out, I asked anxiously, what's wrong?
He was hurt, she said.

I know who she is talking about.

He is in remote Iraq, engaged in the reconstruction of Iraq after the war.The country in the desert was once very rich relying on the surging oil, and there were many high-rise buildings. However, the shells damaged the country's economy and those high-rise buildings were riddled with holes.He and several people he knew had smuggled into Iraq in order to repair the dilapidated buildings.

That day, we were having a class in the temple. He fell from the balcony on the second floor and fell heavily to the ground. He broke a rib and was sent to the local hospital.

Mei Niang was very depressed. After she came out of the bathroom, she opened the glass door leading to the balcony and walked out, leaning her chair against the railing of the balcony to smoke.I also went out, trying to hold her in my arms, but she gently pushed her away.

It was the first time I received such a cold reception from her.I was a little embarrassed and a little sad.I went back to the room alone.Lying on the bed, I continued to read. However, the black characters on the paper were scurrying around like tadpoles, and I couldn't read any more.

I want to fall asleep quickly.I closed my eyes, but my mind was racing and I couldn't sleep.

After an unknown amount of time, Meiniang came back from the balcony. She put on her clothes and carried her satchel on her own.I asked, where are you going so late?

She said go home.

She walked out.The door of the room was shut heavily between us, and it also separated us heavily.From now on, she is here and I am on the other side.Our hearts can no longer walk together, our bodies can no longer walk together.

Love can be so painful.

I often walk alone in Fuzhou's Dongjiekou, which is the most prosperous place in Fuzhou. Rows upon rows of specialty stores make this street beautiful and fashionable.Pairs of men and women in love come face to face and walk hand in hand.I don't know if they have had or are experiencing an unforgettable love like me; I don't know if they will fall into the abyss of darkness and pain and cannot extricate themselves like me; Those who have walked here happily, where are they now, are they still as happy as before.

After that breakup in the hotel, Mei Niang didn't call me, and I didn't call her. I didn't know what to say, although I wanted to see her very much.

Days like this have been going on for several days, but I feel like it's been a long, long time.So long that my heart has been covered with moss.

I didn't expect that I would meet her again, just at Dongjiekou, on the street where we often walk arm in arm.That day I was walking alone in a daze, and when I looked up, I saw her on the opposite sidewalk.She was standing under a street tree, wearing a pair of whitish jeans, which outlined her figure as slim as the tree beside her.

I walked towards her, but cars passed by the center of the street one after another. I turned around anxiously, looking to both sides, there was a turbulent and endless traffic, crawling slowly like a snail.I stared at her closely, afraid that she would be overwhelmed by the flow of people.I remembered a plot in "John Christophe" that I read when I was a teenager. Christophe finally found his girlfriend who had been missing for many years in the crowds of Paris. However, he just couldn't cross the street , he could only watch helplessly as his girlfriend was swept away by the carnival crowd at the intersection of Paris that day, and he never saw her again, leaving behind lifelong regrets.

I tried to cross the road, I found a gap between the cars and ran towards the middle of the road.There was a screeching sound of brakes, and a head covered with hot curly flowers protruded from the car. The very vulgar-looking woman scolded me in the local dialect, her plump face flushed red, but I couldn't understand a word.I apologized to her with a fake smile, and cursed her back in the northern dialect viciously in my heart.She can't hear, I can't understand, we owe neither of us.

Finally crossing the street, there was no Mei Niang under the tree. I looked around anxiously. Thanks to her tall stature, I finally saw her walking towards the door of a women's casual clothing store.I ran towards her, bumping the oncoming person into a stumble, and uttered a series of curses.But I don't have time to scold back, I only think about Mei Niang.

At the door of the specialty store, I caught up with her.Panting, I stood behind her and patted her shoulder.She looked back and saw me, but there was no surprise on her face.

I feel lost.

Then we sat in a coffee shop and ordered two cups of coffee.The coffee on the table between us was quietly filled with a faint aroma, while we on both sides of the table, having nothing to say for a long time, seemed awkward and unfamiliar.

I said, there are many people on the street today.

She said, yes, a lot of people.

I often wonder if I am prematurely aging.I feel that I am exhausted mentally and mentally, and I like to think about the past.Sometimes when I think about it, there is a vicissitudes of life in my heart.And these are the things that those old men who squatted in the corner with their hands in their sleeves and basked in the sun like to do it.

I think I need to adjust my mentality.If this goes on, I will be destroyed.

So, when New Year's Day approached, the newspaper office had a three-day holiday, and I chose to go to Pingtan Island.

Pingtan is a small island at the southernmost tip of Fuzhou. It is like a giant aircraft carrier floating on the sea. The subtropical monsoon climate blows on it from time immemorial, making it sunny and green all the year round.

First I took the car, then changed to the ship, and as soon as I set foot on the legendary, beautiful and mythical place, I let go of my heavy heart.Pingtan Island, its scenery is completely different from Fuzhou, like a foreign land.The island is very flat, with asphalted roads extending in all directions, leading narrowly to villages covered by the broad leaves of tropical trees.The stone-built houses in the village are bulky and solid. Fishing nets are drying in front of the door. A group of bare-bottomed children ran across the village road, trampling the bluestone-paved village road with bare feet, making a noise.The trees on Pingtan Island are all crooked, and they all lean towards the north uniformly, which is blown by the sea wind for many years.Although it is already New Year's Day in the northern winter, the island is still very hot.The strong light shone on my back as I walked alone, making my shirt wet.

I was walking towards the direction of the sea, full of long-lost desire and joy in my heart.The legendary sea is turbulent and vast, romantic and mysterious, beautiful and thrilling.As I walked, I gazed longingly into the distance, and the stories about the sea that I had read in my childhood and teenage years came to my mind, such as mermaids, Captain Cook, wild swans, pirates... I don’t know if the sea I will see is What I imagined in my heart, I don't know if there are really wild swans hovering above the sea, and I can really hear the wonderful singing like the sound of nature at night.As I was walking, I saw fishermen resting on the side of the road or passing by. Their skin was roasted black and shiny by the strong ultraviolet rays, and their foreheads were carved with deep wrinkles by the sea breeze. Looking at them, I Feel very kind.

(End of this chapter)