Left-behind women in Fuzhou

Chapter 6 The Story of Meiniang (6)
I often think that everyone will never love only one person in their life. The so-called eternal life is actually just the artist's beautiful imagination.No matter how perfect a couple is, there will be moments of derailment, even if it is a spiritual derailment.Beckham and Victoria, who were once known as the "Golden Boy and Jade Girl", have not yet inserted Rebecca between them.In this commercial society, everyone is surrounded by too many temptations and too many opportunities.The stories about the Wangfushi and the Weeping Great Wall only appear in the myths and legends of the farming era.Now who dares to say that I only guard one person in my life, I will only love one person, I will not be tempted by others, and I will stick to it forever?

Is there true love in this world?Is there real happiness?Noble and elegant like Diana, talented like Duras, and beautiful and stunning like Monroe, they either died of depression, or stayed alone, or were bruised, not to mention us who are all living beings.Poor and lowly couples mourn all kinds of things; couples with rice and noodles, friends with wine and meat; couples are originally birds of the same forest, and when disaster comes, they fly separately.Aren't these most authentic maxims from the folk the most vivid summary of folk love?
When I was working as an international editor, I once saw such a manuscript on the Internet, which made me even more disheartened about love.According to reports, the latest research by British biological scientists shows that human emotions are controlled by an enzyme in the body. When humans face the opposite sex and feel pleasure, they will secrete this enzyme in the body. At five years, the body can no longer secrete this enzyme unless another sex is changed.

God, it turns out that the so-called love in the world can be quantified, and it can be measured with a ruler.So it's just nonsense to talk about the same thing forever and ever in this world.

The city without Mei Niang is still as beautiful as before. I still go to the newspaper office from five to nine to clock in, snatch clues from the hotline department, and then rush to the scene at the speed of a hound.When I came to Fuzhou for the second time, I had changed from an emotional reporter to a social reporter.

I still long for love.Although I know it will not last long, it is no longer as gorgeous, beautiful, and pure as I imagined.But my youthful face still needs to be nourished by love, and my restless heart still needs to be paced by love.

But, I don't know, who will be the next Mei Niang and where is she?
Ah Qing would often call me to ask about my basic necessities of life, living in the same city, but caring and caring as if far away, which made me feel softly moved.

When I think of Ah Qing, I feel pity and sympathy in my heart, and I think of the pornographic place where she worked.I have told Ah Qing many times, don't do it, and find another job.However, Ah Qing went to a large or small company to apply for a job, and was told that no one was needed; we also went to the talent recruitment market held once a week, where the overwhelming crowd of applicants made people breathless.Finding a satisfactory job in this city is really as difficult as finding the lover of your dreams.

Ah Qing said that there are still many students in her class who stay at home and rely on their parents because they have no jobs. Compared with them, she still has a job after all, and she is very contented and happy.

Ah Qing also said that there was a male classmate in her class whose family was very poor, and he borrowed money everywhere to finish college.I thought I would be able to pay off my debts by working after graduation, but I didn't expect that I repeatedly hit the wall when looking for a job, and finally committed suicide.After he committed suicide, his parents could not see any hope in life and committed suicide together.

Opposite the newspaper office where I work is a large square. Sometimes when I go home in the middle of the night, I have to pass the square. Every night, I see people lying on the benches beside the square, one after another, with their heads resting on cloth bags, and the street lights illuminate their fragrance. Sleeping faces, they are all thin and refined, some of them wear glasses, and their faces are full of scholars.Especially those girls, they will curl up their bodies in such a reserved way when they sleep, holding packages in their arms.The packages may contain the only clothes they have and the books they like to read.I feel sad for a while.But I can't help them.I was reminded of the three prostitutes I interviewed.They also graduated from college, came to Fuzhou from other places, couldn't find a job, spent all their money, and slept in the park at night. Later, they had no money to eat and went hungry for three days.On the fourth day, they had to stagger into the city of Sauna to prostitute in exchange for the necessities of life.

Whenever I see these scenes, I feel extremely painful.Educational mechanism, medical mechanism, unspoken rules of officialdom, monopolized industries, etc., have reached the point of dying. If the cancerous tumor is not cut off with a scalpel, the body of this society will rot and die.

The disparity between the rich and the poor in this society is already astronomical, and the distance between the rich and the poor is measured in light years.

I am a reporter, and I have come into contact with the difficulties of living at the bottom of the society, and I have also witnessed the luxury and corruption of the upper class.I have the most say.I have seen old ladies picking up vegetables for a living in the vegetable market, and I have also seen rich businessmen who squandered 20 yuan a night just to have a one-night stand with a very popular model today; The old man buried in the well, I have also seen the coal mine owner who handed over tens of millions at the auto show and drove away the luxurious Bentley; I have seen the farmer kneeling in front of the government with a bloody coat in his hand to appeal to the government, and I have also seen a lot of money in the casino Government officials who don't care.Who is it that makes them exploit and exploit the rich one so unscrupulously; and who is it that makes the other people suffer from hunger, cold and poverty.They are also citizens of the country, who provided a small group of people with the opportunity to possess wealth, and what they possessed was the wealth of the country and the wealth of the majority.

When I was with Ah Qing, I never let her spend money. I know that her work is difficult and her salary comes from not easy.

Once, we mentioned Meiniang again. Although I tried my best to hide my thoughts and nostalgia for Meiniang in front of her, I often mentioned it inadvertently.I said, Mei Niang has such a good feeling for your brother.

She said that they were very emotional from the moment they knew they were married until the end.

I said, how could your brother die?How did he die?

Two years ago, she said, her brother was coming home from get off work to shop at a supermarket that was hit by a car bomb.You know, there have been terrorist attacks in Iraq, and there have been civilian casualties.Hundreds of people died in that attack, including my brother.

She was silent for a long time, and I saw tears on her eyelashes.

She also said that if my brother doesn't go to Iraq, everything will be fine for us.If the family is together, the house will not be sold.

I said, why are you selling your house?

She said that when her brother went abroad, he had to hand over 10 yuan to the snakehead.When the snakehead gets the money, it will help you go through all the formalities, and then take you to smuggle out of the country.They have connections, and they rely on this to get rich.Our family has no money, and all we borrow from usury.After my brother died, the creditors forced us to sell the house when they knew we were unable to repay.

I said, so do you know where Mei Niang is now?
After selling the house, we paid off the loan sharks and had nothing, she said.Mei Niang didn't know where she went. Before she left, she kept saying that she was the one who killed her brother, and she was sorry for him.I went to her home in Nanping to look for her, but there was nothing, and my parents didn't know where she went. Until now, there is still no news of her.

I am silent, heartbroken.

It turned out to be the case.

I thought I would never see Mei Niang again in my life, but I never thought I would see her again, let alone see her in such an unbelievable place.

That was the last time we saw each other.

We have been separated for two years.In the past two years, I never knew where she was, nor did she know that I had traveled to several cities, was covered in bruises, and returned to Fuzhou after repeated setbacks at work.

I have not seen Master Huijing for two years.I have been thinking about what kind of girl Master Huijing was before she became a monk, what experiences she had, and who appeared and left traces in her life coordinates.Master Huijing, who has seen through the grievances and grievances in the world, must have been very beautiful when she was young. Even now, her skin is as creamy and her eyes are like autumn waves. She must have experienced strong winds and waves, and pain that ordinary people cannot bear. She would choose to become a monk, otherwise, why would she have such a deep understanding of life and death, joy and sorrow, and fate.

Sometimes, when I walk on the street and see those very dignified and virtuous girls walking past me with a straight waist, I think about what stories she has and what kind of background she lives in. , Could she be Huijing before she became a monk? Could Huijing be like this before she became a monk?

A woman who can jump out of the Three Realms, convert to Buddhism, give up the joy and happiness of the world, no longer be moved by the love of children in the world, can entrust her life in the blue lanterns, yellow scrolls, evening drums, and morning bells, and can overcome the great loneliness and loneliness. It's amazing and admirable.Those who have not experienced the pain of the heaven and earth and who have not had a deep understanding of life will not take this difficult step.

I decided to see Master Huijing.In my heart, I have always thought of her as my mother.

One afternoon in the summer of this year, after a few years, I walked into that temple again.I clearly remember that it was extremely hot that day, with thick dark clouds in the sky, silence inside and outside the temple, and the birds were silent.

Master Huijing was not there.The abbot said that the master went down the mountain early in the morning and did not know when he would be back.The abbot is only in his 30s, but his face is full of travel and dust, his eyes are full of compassion, and the two deep wrinkles on his forehead seem to have experienced a lot of misery.

I was bored walking around the temple, and came to a side hall, where a Buddha statue was enshrined. The Buddha statue stared at me with eyes wide open. Legend has it that it is a mighty god named Giant Spirit.In ancient times, there were often monsters on Beifeng Mountain, and every night they would go to Fuzhou at the foot of the mountain to snatch a child to eat.The people in Fuzhou were miserable, so they told the Jade Emperor, and the Jade Emperor sent the giant spirit god down to earth to kill the evildoers in one fell swoop.In order to commemorate the giant spirit god, the people built a side hall next to the main hall of Guanyin to worship.

The giant spirit god is burly and majestic, with a red face, holding a mountain-breaking axe, with a mighty aura, as if he is about to rush down from the incense table, which is daunting.Standing beside the incense table is a nun in a blue cassock, facing the giant spirit sideways, chanting silently with her head bowed, and occasionally tapping the wooden fish in her hand.The sound of dry wooden fish echoed in the hall, making it look empty and desolate.

I have read the story of the giant spirit god in "Journey to the West" before, and that well-known book portrays the giant spirit god as a villain.After Sun Wukong rebelled against the Heavenly Palace, the Jade Emperor sent Tota Li Tianwang to conquer, and the striker was this stalwart giant spirit god.In that battle, after the stalwart Giant Spirit God was teased and humiliated by the dexterous Sun Monkey, he was killed to death.When I was a child, I always laughed at the bloated and incompetent Giant Spirit God. I only found out today that it was also like this to subdue demons and eliminate demons to share the worries of the people.I lit a stick of incense, bowed three times, and inserted it on the incense table respectfully.The nun next to him rang a wooden fish and recited Amitabha.

I straightened up, glanced at the nun inadvertently, and suddenly felt like the world was falling apart. She, she was actually a meiniang, she was actually the meiniang I thought about day and night.Even though she has shaved her hair and turned into a nun, even though she is wearing cassock, even though she lowers her brows and closes her eyes, even though the light in the hall is dim, I still recognize her, she is my Mei Niang.

I rushed over and grabbed her arm.She opened her eyes and looked at me blankly, expressionless.The wooden fish fell to the ground and rolled a long way.

Meiniang, Meiniang... I kept yelling, what's wrong with you?How will you be here?

Her face was still as calm as water, and her eyes passed through the top of my head, as if she was looking at a place far, far away.She said, benefactor, you have admitted the wrong person.

I hugged her tightly to my chest, almost crying, I said, Meiniang, Meiniang, look at me, don't you know me?

She tried her best to break free from my hands, straightened her cassock, and walked quickly to the outside of the hall.Outside the hall, thunder and lightning flashed, and a heavy rainstorm was coming.

I took two quick steps and caught up with her again.I wanted to grab her arm, but I grabbed the sleeve of her cassock. When she struggled, the cassock fell off suddenly, and two full breasts jumped out like rabbits.She is my Mei Niang, from inside to outside is my Mei Niang.

She picked up the cassock, put it on again, and tied it around her waist with a long belt.A flash of lightning came through the window, and I saw her still pretty face pale and pale.

Mei Niang, Mei Niang.I cried and said, let's go home, I understand everything, now let's go home.

It was raining outside the window, the rain was beating on the eaves and the leaves, the sound was dense and crisp.Mei Niang turned around and walked out of the hall. The sound of the rain was mixed with her chanting—there is no bodhi tree, and the mirror is not a stand.There is nothing in the heart, where is the dust...

I rushed out of the side hall, stood on the high steps, and saw Meiniang walking in the pouring rain, her wide cassock was wrapped wetly around her body, making it difficult for her to walk.The strong wind came straight in from outside the temple, blowing her, and she walked crookedly all the way.

I saw Mei Niang walk up to a Zen room on the second floor, I wanted to rush up, but there were other nuns in the Zen room on the second floor.I saw them close the windows and close the doors.I stood downstairs, letting the rain hit my head and shoulders fiercely, and flowed down my chest all over my body.I feel cold all over.But still looking at the wooden building where Mei Niang lived, waiting in the heavy rain, waiting...

There was a thunderbolt, and the branch above my head was cut off and hit me. I fell to my knees, tears pouring down with the rain...

Later, when the rain stopped, all kinds of birds suddenly sang together, and the lonely temple became very lively, but the window was still closed.The door of Master Huijing's room opened, and it was unknown when she had returned.She walked up to me, reached out to help me and said, my child, the fate is over, you can go back.

That day, I walked back to Fuzhou in a daze and fell ill.

When I woke up, I found myself in the hospital.

Later, Chen Kai, who lived next door to me, said that after I got home, I kept calling Mei Niang's name, fainting and having a high fever.They were terrified, called 120 and took me to the hospital.

After recovering from illness, I went to Beifeng again, trying to find Mei Niang.Master Huijing said, Meiniang went to Yunyou the day after I left.I don't know when I will return, maybe a year, maybe ten years, maybe never.

Yunyou means drifting like a cloud, with no fixed whereabouts.Many days later, I realized that this is a term specially invented for monks.

Now, I type out such lines of text on the keyboard, and my heart is full of sadness.I don't know where Meiniang has traveled to in this season when typhoons ravage the southeast coast again and again, whether she is safe, and whether I can still see her in my life.

(End of this chapter)