Sadness begins with your name

Chapter 44 You Are the Wind in My Heart

Love is always going to fail, either because of the helplessness of being difficult to get married, or because of the boredom of always getting married.This is a quote from a sister I met in Vancouver.She is also Chinese. She owns a Chinese restaurant and has been in Vancouver for eight years. She has had a bumpy road in her relationship and is alone in her life.I have worked in her restaurant for a long time. It can be said that in the most difficult time, she let me, a girl who wants to be pretty but not good-looking and has no diploma and no diploma and can’t speak English well, live in a foreign country. At least it was solved. Food and clothing.

She proclaimed herself "teacher" because she had an unsuccessful relationship with a foreign country.Therefore, she has never been optimistic about the future of me and the German man Anthony.

But I still chose to marry that man.It is too difficult to wander alone. I am not afraid of being tired from part-time work. What I am afraid of is returning to the rented basement after a day of work, and enduring the lonely death-like loneliness alone.There, I have no relatives, no friends, and no lover.They are far away on the other side of the ocean, living their lives bustlingly in my bustling Beijing city.

But I don't regret it, it's my choice.This is my choice of love and my punishment.

But one day, I really couldn't take it anymore. When I went back at night, the landlady's son, an ugly American fat man, pried open the door of the room I lived in and wanted to insult me.

After falling out with the landlord, I found Anthony's small apartment with my meager luggage, and said to the tall man with suspicion and surprise in his gray eyes: "Will you love me? I need a lover."

He stared at me for a long time, as if he could not understand my poor English, and seemed to be judging the authenticity of these words, just like when I begged him to take me away at the airport, this time he still did not refuse me after all .He opened his arms to me, bowed his head tenderly, and kissed my forehead, he said: "Yes, I love you, little girl."

I thought that life would be like this, no matter if it was Lin Beifeng, Cheng Shanan or Jiang Chenxi, they were all just passers-by, they were all just a gust of wind, some sharp, some warm, some light.The one who loves the deepest hurts the most. Only time can heal the wound and dilute all the sorrows and joys of the past.

The only gratification is that during my time in Vancouver, I calmly sorted out all the manuscripts left by my mother Ning Qinglan during her lifetime, and wrote the ending for this book that has been dusty for nearly ten years.

Not a happy ending. The heroine reunited with the hero after being separated for several years.The heroine, whose temples have already been stained with frost, ran happily to her lover, and he looked back slowly. On the street in the morning when the fog had not yet opened, she saw the once suave and suave Ruyu boy, riding an old-fashioned bicycle, with a face on his face. Wrinkled by the weather, the clothes on his body are smoky gray, dirty and old, and there is a bundle of vegetables and a few tomatoes in the bicycle basket.He turned his head and looked at her strangely, and asked his former lover in an old voice: "Are you calling me, do I recognize you?"

She backed away again and again, she was frightened, her face turned pale from the ruthless time, she was so frightened that she couldn't even utter a complete sentence, "No, no, I'm not calling you. I'm not calling you."

Then she turned around and sprinted away.A thick fog filled the street in the early morning, and she and him ran away from each other, walking farther and farther as the time grew older.

After cutting and modifying, when "Tu Mi" was completely finished, it was also the time when Andy and I broke up.

At the end of November, Vancouver finally began to have a hint of autumn.On the desk, the air ticket from Vancouver to Beijing lay quietly there. I opened the drawer and saw a thick stack of photos.Fingers stroked one by one, the handwriting on the back has been blurred, but the person in the photo is still young, with black hair, black eyes, flower-like smile, and the same age as sunshine.

The sun came in through the window, and there was a soft bang. I turned my head and saw a snow-white pigeon standing there outside the window sill of the bluestone brick. , it spread its wings leisurely and made a flying posture, but it did not fly away.

I put down the photo and walked towards it, with a smile on my face. I didn't dare to open the window, so I could only stand one meter away and ask it softly: "Pigeon, are you flying from China?"

Pigeon, can you tell me, is he all right there?

It turned its head, looked at me with its small black agate eyes, cooed a few times, then flapped its wings, drew a beautiful arc in the sun, and flew away.

Two days later, I also flew back to China.

Winter has just begun in Beijing. When I got off the plane, I wrapped my coat tightly and was still shivering from the cold wind blowing across.Dad and Ye Congling picked me up at the airport. I saw them holding up a sign with only my name on it. In their hands, they also held a round, chubby snowman in a white padded jacket and a red hat. A little boy like a child.That was their son who had just learned to walk. I heard from my father that he named him Bo Yan.

"They're all stones. Be careful that you'll be more stubborn than me when you grow up." Hugging the lovely Bo Yan, my dear brother, I smiled and said to my father, whose hair was almost half gray.

He looked at me lovingly, and the corners of his eyes gradually became wet. I wanted to stop the tears that had flowed back, but when he stretched out his arms and hugged me and Bao Yan tightly, the tears spilled all over the front of his clothes.

"You cruel child." Dad wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes, and said with a smile, "Are you going to leave in the future? If you leave, take us with you."

I smiled weakly, leaned into his arms, and murmured: "Dad, I miss him so much."

I don't know if he will still live in the old home after two years, but I know from my father that Lin Beifeng is still in Beijing. When I quietly left, he looked for me everywhere like crazy, and he still knelt at my father's house. I begged him with tears in front of me, and he said that he knew he was wrong, please let him find me, and then use his whole life to make up for his mistakes.

Dad said that he beat him in a fit of anger.But the young man didn't hold any grudges, and he would bring some things to visit the house during the New Year and holidays in the past two years.

"It's as if we are really like our son and son-in-law. It's just that my daughter has gone far away." Dad smoked a cigarette and sighed, "We are all waiting for you to come back."

It was still the home of Congjia Hutong. Ye Congling finished cooking in the kitchen and came out, looking at me hesitating to speak, "However, recently..."

I looked at her lightly, and called her very sincerely, Aunt Ye.I said, "Auntie Ye, it's okay, just tell me what you have." I will never see her as an enemy anymore, the dead are gone, the past is past, as long as my father and her live happily, this is the true meaning of life. I care.

Ye Congling was obviously very pleasantly surprised and moved, wiped his freshly washed hands on the apron, and said, "I haven't seen Xiaolin since the beginning of autumn, and I heard Wei Young mention it by chance, saying that he seems to be sick. ..."

Dad interrupted her suddenly: "Is the meal ready?"

Since she mentioned Ye Weiyang, I couldn't help but sneered and asked: "Weiyang and Lin Beifeng aren't together? How is she?"

Ye Congling was a little embarrassed, looked at her father, then at me, and finally told me clearly that Ye Weiyang was married.Her husband is a master of economics brought by her mother when she came back from the United States. He is a returnee. The young couple live happily. They immigrated to Australia with her mother a month ago.Lin Beifeng had never heard of talking about a girlfriend, so he should still be alone.

"How is Lin Beifeng's illness?" I asked.

Ye Congling sighed and shook his head, brought the sumptuous dishes to the table, and said with a smile: "Let's eat first. You can go and have a look tomorrow. I heard that the lungs are not long..."

"Let's eat, why are there so many words!" Dad's expression was a little grim, and he scolded Ye Congling, as if he didn't want her to mention Lin Beifeng and his illness.

After dinner, I fell asleep early, and through the crack of the door, I heard Ye Congling's voice coaxing little Bo Yan. She hummed a song with an unknown tune, but the lyrics were very familiar: "I remember when I was young, I love to chat and you love to laugh. One time we sat side by side under the peach tree, the wind was blowing in the trees and the birds were singing. We didn’t know why we were sleepy, how much do we know about flowers in our dreams.”

The night comes wind and rain, Whispering Colour.

On the second day, I got up very early, wrapped my clothes tightly and went out quietly. The alley was full of thick morning fog, and the road ahead could not be seen clearly. I could only hear the faint sound of someone opening the door, creaking and fading away the time.

I walked slowly, and my shoes got wet before long.I think that the shoes will always be dry, the fog will always be cleared, and the sky will always be sunny, but people may not necessarily meet again.

When the smog cleared and the sun rose, I found Lin Beifeng's downstairs alone.After wandering around for a long time, I looked up and saw that the window on the left side of the third floor was open, a cluster of green Chlorophytum hanging down, and a snow-white pigeon stood on the window sill, looking at me, making cooing and cooing sounds .

I believe he is.Together with the pigeons in Beijing, he is always waiting for me.

The golden sunlight completely dispelled the haze of the earth. I rolled my lips and made a sound like a pigeon whistle, then smiled and walked upstairs.
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(End of this chapter)