Love is so close, you are so far

Chapter 34 The Happiness That Slips Through Your Fingers (4)
The man looked me up and said, "Why, what's the matter with you?"

"It's like this. I'm a friend of Mr. An. I thought this store belonged to him, so
by……"

"He transferred the store to me." The man interrupted me.

I was very surprised, how could An He transfer the furniture store to someone else, didn't he obviously take an order?

"Oh, that's right, so the production workshop has also been transferred to you?"

"Yes."

"Excuse me, when did you pick it up?"

"A half month ago."

"Then do you know where Mr. An is?"

The man shrugged, an impatient look on his face.

"I'm sorry, I'm really in a hurry and want to find him."

"I haven't seen him."

I was taken aback, "You haven't seen him, so how did you take over this store?"

"A friend of his did it for him."

"What's the name of his friend, please?"

"Are you familiar with him?"

"Yes, very familiar."

He sized me up again and said, "That man's name is Pang Xie."

Pang Xie?How he helped Anhe transfer the furniture store, what's going on, I'm at a loss.

I called Pang Xie, but he was not in the service area.

Finally, when I returned to the residence, nothing had changed in the room, and it was tidy, but it felt like no one had lived in it for a long time.Feeling lost, I stood blankly for a long time, and then left the residence.

I don't know how I got near An He's house. I knew that he would never come back here, but I still came.But when I got to the gate of the community, I didn’t have the courage to go in. I couldn’t come to the door rashly, so I used the public phone to call his home number. After a long ringing, a woman’s voice came, which was Milan’s voice.

I didn't want Milan to recognize my voice, so I lowered my voice and asked, "Is this Mr. An's family?"

Milan asked: "Yes, who are you?"

I said, "Oh, I'm a client of Mr. An. Is Mr. An at home?"

Milan said: "He's dead!"

The phone hung up with a bang.It seems that I went to the wrong place. How can Milan have good things to say? She hates An He so much that she might curse him to death every day.

I have searched almost all the places where I can find him, and there is only the last hope - Pang Xie.

I made N calls to Pang Xie, and finally got through.He was very surprised when he heard my voice, he hesitated and refused to say where An He was, I said I was back, he was even more surprised, and said that he had something to do outside and asked me to wait for him for a while.He was singing and dancing there, probably to accompany customers in the karaoke hall, and I couldn't leave for a while, so I went to a teahouse that we used to frequent.

The teahouse is still the same, it has not changed at all, the melodious zither, the light tea fragrance, but An He sitting next to me is gone, I subconsciously touched the seat next to me, it was empty, cold and cold.I felt sore, An He, where are you, do you know I'm back?I'm looking for you, show up now, don't hide, show up now!

After waiting for a while, Pang Xie rushed over, and when he saw me, a string of "bullets" shot out of his mouth like a machine gun, "Oh, Ye Mei, why are you back? Why didn't you notify me in advance?" Let me know, so I can go to the station to pick you up, you are exhausted, look, your face is so ugly, I am so sorry, I really couldn’t leave just now, what do you want to eat at night, or..."

I interrupted him, "Pang Xie, thank you for your concern. You know I'm looking for you for peace. Where is he? Mi Yao said he's not in Yunnan anymore."

Pang Xie was stunned for a moment, and then said: "You came back from such a long distance, let me clean you up first, I recently found a very good place, I will definitely let you..."

He seemed to be avoiding Anhe intentionally, and I was even more puzzled, "Pang Xie, I know what you're thinking. You don't want to mention Anhe with me, do you? Tell me, what happened to him? I know something happened to him, the furniture store He and the workshop were sold, and he didn’t live in my house, his mobile phone has been disconnected, what happened to him, please tell me quickly.”

Pang Xie showed embarrassment, and immediately squeezed out a smile, and said, "Don't worry, he's fine, he's fine, we went to play ball a few days ago, really, I won't lie to you, he's very fine .”

"Why did he sell the furniture store and workshop? I heard that you handled it. What's going on?"

Pang Xie was stunned for a moment, and said, "Let's not talk about this, let's go to dinner first, okay?"

Although Pang Xie refused to tell me about An He, his attitude told me that he knew where An He was. An He, you know but refuse to tell me, since you don't consider me a friend, then I don't consider you a friend anymore, I will go to your house to find your wife and say that you are raising a lover outside."

Pang Xie smiled bitterly and said: "Ye Mei, don't tell me not to treat you as a friend anymore. I'm not afraid that you will go to my wife. That little bitch doesn't have as much affection as you. Her eyes are full of fucking love." banknotes, defrauded me of some money and ran away early.”

I was a little surprised. I didn't expect Qiqi to do such a thing. Although it was a matter of time before she left Pang Xie, I was still a little surprised when Pang Xie said it. But I don't have time to think about other people's affairs. I just want to find Ann. and.

"Since you know my feelings for An He, you shouldn't hide An He from me. Tell me quickly."

Pang Xie hesitated for a moment, then said, "Ye Mei, actually... how should I put it... really... really hard to say... I really don't know whether I should tell you or not."

"What's the matter, tell me quickly!"

"Ye Mei, you have to be mentally prepared. Promise me not to be too sad, you must promise me."

"Okay, okay, I promise you, just say it!"

"Please, please don't be too sad."

"Okay, tell me quickly."

Pang Xie then sighed for a long time, and said hesitantly: "Ye Mei, An He...

He... he... died! "

An He is dead? !
Pang Xie's words were like a thunderbolt from the blue, which blew me away.

I was stunned, and it took me a long time to come back to my senses, and asked in a daze, "Pang Xie, what are you...what are you talking about, you deliberately scared me, you...you lied to me, right?"

"No, I didn't lie to you, An He...he's dead."

"I don't believe it, how did he die, okay, how did he die?"

"Traffic accident. When I was in Yunnan, I was sent to the hospital but failed to be rescued... It was my arrangement for the funeral."

Pang Xie arranged the funeral? !

An He is really dead? !
My mind suddenly went blank, I didn't know where I was, I felt a sharp pain in my heart, I couldn't breathe from the pain, tears welled up in my eyes, the tears blurred my vision, I couldn't see my peace.

Why is this, why is this, Ann, why did you abandon me, why, why? !

I want to cry loudly, but I can't cry out, I can't cry even after biting my lip, only tears are pouring down silently.

"Ye Mei, you can cry if you want to, it will feel better if you cry, so just cry."

But I still couldn't cry, I opened my eyes in a daze, and let the tears flow wantonly into a river.

Ann is dead!

How did An He die?Is this the result of my hard work?
I don't want this result!I don’t want it, I don’t want it, I don’t want it, I’d rather wait any longer, as long as he’s alive, I’d rather wait...

"He, was he in pain at the time, did he bleed a lot, what did he say at the end, did he mention me?"

"I mentioned it, he was chanting your name until the end."

"Has his ashes come back? Can you take me to see it? How could he treat me like this? I hate him so much, I really hate him..."

Pang Xie wiped away his tears, took me into the car, fastened my seat belt, and started the car.

I looked blankly at the street scene outside the window. There was no peace here, and everything became empty, like an empty city.

My heart has also been hollowed out, leaving a big hole that I know will never be filled.

10
Pang Xie took me to the cemetery, and my tears poured down again, dripping on An He's urn.

How can I believe it, my An He, such a tall person, a person of flesh and blood, a person of love and righteousness, now there is only such a handful of ashes left.There is no temperature, no breath, only the coldness that penetrates the heart, and it doesn't give me any warm feeling.

An He, you are so selfish, you can't treat me like this!
You said that everything will be fine, you will pick me up, you will love me and love me forever
of……

Didn't you say that two people would be helpless if they were together? Why did you leave me alone? Why didn't you keep your promise?

There was silence all around, and An He didn't answer me.

Let me cry until tears flow into rivers, cry hoarsely, and An He doesn't respond to me.

He didn't give me any response, he was cold to me.

Is it true that I am separated from my lover and relatives like this?Can't he hear what I'm saying?He used to like listening to me so much, but now my throat is dry and hoarse from crying, and he ignores me.

He really, really died!

An He, I don't want you to die!

But he - dead!
Without Anhe, my world is barren...

11
Pang Xie stayed with me all the time and arranged a room for me in the best hotel in Wuping, but I went back to my house.

In the house, there are the cups An He drank from, his ashtrays, his slippers, his pajamas, his towels, his toothbrush, his hair, his kisses, and his Love, there is his breath, but - there is no such person as him.

However, in a trance, there is his smile, his voice, his every move and gesture in a certain corner...

When I reached out to grab him, it was empty—he was gone.

I played "Moonlight Dust" non-stop, day and night, non-stop, over and over again, tears fell on the keys, and dripped on the "Moon Goddess" on my chest.

The moonlight is still there, but An He is no longer there, no more.

Anhe, my Anhe, are you really, really gone?

Where have you been, you're lying to me, aren't you? Answer me, you're lying to me, aren't you?
Correct……

I was dying of pain, but An He didn't know.

Later, I went to Anhe's hometown, the old house, the woods, the fallen leaves, nothing changed, but Anhe was missing.

The forest is still so quiet, only the rustling sound of fallen leaves on the soles of the feet, closed eyes full of peaceful shadows, his smile, his kiss.The way he stares at the falling leaves, the way he hugs me, the way he says he loves me, every movement of his is so clear, he seems to be by my side, but when he opens his eyes, there are only falling yellow leaves, nothing he.

An He left, and he left me alone here, in this lonely woods, in this lonely autumn, in the pain of this thing being human and not doing anything.

I found the old man, and the old man said sadly that he had heard about An He.

How I wish he would say he didn't know, so that I can still deceive myself into thinking that An He is not dead, and that I can still see him and be with him.But now, I don't even have the chance to deceive myself.

The reality is so cruel, too cruel to let me have a little fantasy.

There is no peace in my world, it is empty, I am like a person without a soul, walking in the place where An He used to appear, I can think of his voice and smile everywhere, but I can’t catch him , He became a shadow, and I went to his shadow world and couldn't get out.

I talk to An He's shadow, say I love him, say I hate him, say I miss him...

12
Mi Yao wanted to pull me out of An He's shadow, and she came in front of me.

She knew everything, before I knew it, but she kept it from me, she was afraid that I would be sad, that I would be sad.

But I hate her, I hate her so much!

Mi Yao hugged me in a firm posture, she wanted to take me back to Beijing, but that was not the place I wanted to go.I want to stay here, looking for every morning, every evening, every night with An He; I want to stay here, recalling every hug and every kiss of An He...

Mi Yao has always stayed in Wuping to accompany me, to accompany me to be sad, to accompany me to cry, and to accompany me to miss.

Milan appeared in front of me, and there was no trace of sadness on her face.She smiled smugly at me in a victorious manner, and her smile looked cruel, cruel, and terrifying.

"I said, you can't get his, it's your life!"

Her face is extremely ferocious, but I have no power to argue with her.

Or maybe, this is really my life.

However, what is fate?

Is it controlled by me, or is it controlled by God?Or is it a teasing thing, the person you thought you could depend on for a lifetime suddenly disappears, is it you who miss endlessly in the remaining days?
I want to struggle, but I can't escape my life. I have no peace, no one who warms me up, no one who makes me happy, I have nothing.

I have nothing left, how do I struggle?

In the end, I left Wuping because of a promise.

I promised An He that no matter what happens, I will live a good life for him!He doesn't like the way I cry, he doesn't like the way I'm sad, he likes the way I'm strong, likes the way I'm optimistic.So I want to leave Wuping, I can't let myself be sad.

It turns out that living for a person is more difficult than dying. I regret that I promised An He at the beginning.

I got on the train back to Beijing, and I knew that after this trip, I would never come back, and there was no peace here.

(End of this chapter)