sister carrie

Chapter 34 (2)

Chapter 19 One Hour in Wonderland: A Faintly Perceived Voice (2)
Drouet came back as the next scene rose.He was eager to whisper something, but Hurstwood pretended to be absorbed in the play.He kept his eyes fixed on the stage, though Carrie was not there, acting out an episode of the popular farce that preceded her entrance.However, he didn't watch what was on stage.He was thinking about his own thoughts, and they were miserable.

The course of the theatrical performance was not in his favour.From here Carrie naturally becomes the central character.The audience thought that since the impression was not good at the beginning, it would not get better in the future, but now it has gone to another extreme, and even the poor performance also thinks that the performance is good.The affections of the common people were devoted to Carrie.She plays her part quite deftly, though it doesn't arouse as much emotion as the end of the long first act.

Both Hurstwood and Drouet gazed at her beauty with excited enthusiasm.This display of talent, and the fact that they could see her in such splendor, and the emotion and character of the play so well served as a foil, made them feel especially of her. charm.To Drouet, she was not just the old Carrie.He longed desperately to go home with her and tell her all this.He waited impatiently for the play to be over so that they could both go home.

Hurstwood, on the contrary, sees her own wretchedness in her added charm.He hated the man next to him.God, he can't even do enough praise.When he felt bad, he had to fake it.

In the final act, Carrie's charm is especially on display for her lover.

Hurstwood listened attentively to the development of the plot, and wondered when Carrie would be available, he thought.He won't have to wait long.The playwright had skillfully sent the jovial company for a ride, and Carrie was now alone.This was the first time Hurstwood had the opportunity to see her facing the audience alone, because she had a supporting role elsewhere, and when she entered, he suddenly felt that her original power—— The force that overwhelmed him at the end of the first act--now it's back.Now that the whole drama is coming to an end, the opportunity for big action is passing, and her feelings are getting deeper and deeper.

"Poor Pearl," she said in a tone of pure sadness, "it is sad to be without happiness, but it is terrible to see people groping blindly for happiness when they can grasp it with their hands."

She was now gazing sadly out at the wide sea, one arm resting listlessly on the painted post.

Hurstwood felt a sympathy for her as well as for himself.It seemed to him that she was literally talking to him.He is now haunted by emotion. Hearing this voice and seeing this expression, he almost had an illusion, as if the sad tune he was listening to was telling his own personal feelings.Sorrow has such a quality, as if all this is directed at oneself.

"But she can be very happy with him," went on the young actress. "Her cheerful disposition, and her gaiety of countenance, would light up any home."

She turned slowly towards the audience without looking at them herself.Her actions were so simple, as if she was the only one at this time.Then he sat down at a table, opened a few books, and looked carefully.

"I don't want what I can't have," she whispered at last--again, as if with a sigh--"and all my life, in this big world, no one but two Know me, but I'm an innocent girl who's going to be his wife soon."

A character named Peach Blossom interrupted her, much to Hurstwood's chagrin.He fidgeted, wishing only that she would continue.The pale countenance, the lightness of the figure, the pearl-grey dress, the pearl necklace around his neck; these fascinated him.Carrie looked as if she was tired and in need of protection, and the moment the ecstasy of the dream came upon him, he was ready to move towards her, to relieve her unhappiness, and thus to increase his own happiness.

After a while Carrie was alone again, and was saying excitedly:
"I must go back to the city, whatever danger lurks there. I must go, secretly if I can, and openly if I must."

There was a sound of horseshoes outside, and then Rey's voice said:
"No, I don't ride anymore. Take the horse away."

He came in, and thus began a scene which evoked in Hurstwood a tragedy of love which, like other events in his unique and complex career, shocked.For Carrie, determined to do a good job in the scene, had now been prompted to come on, and she was overflowing with deep feeling.Both Hurstwood and Drouet noticed the state of mind in which she entered.

"I thought you ran off with Pearl," she said to her lover.

"I did walk a little bit, but it was a mile and I left the group."

"Did you have any disagreement with Pearl?"

"No—yes: That is to say, we often have. The barometer of our relationship always points to 'cloudy' and 'overcast.'"

"Then whose fault is it?" she asked calmly.

"It's not my fault," he replied sullenly, "I know I did my best—I said I did—but—"

Barton spoke awkwardly, but Carrie graciously saved him.

"But she's your wife," she said, concentrating on the actor who had nothing to say, and then softening her tone, the low musical voice said: "Ray, my friend, The quality of your love life determines the quality of your married life. Don't make your life unsatisfactory and unhappy."

She put her two little hands together and squeezed them tightly as if begging.

Hurstwood's lips parted slightly, and he stared.Drouet was full of ambition.

"Be my wife, yes, that's right," said the actor, much weaker in comparison, but not yet spoiling the air of tenderness which Carrie had created and which she maintained.She didn't seem to feel that he was a wretch.Even against a piece of wood, she will still learn brilliantly.The auxiliary things she needs are all within the range of her own imagination.Other people's performances don't affect her.

"So you've regretted it?" she said slowly.

"I've lost you," he said, taking her little hand, "and I let any coquettish woman have me at the mercy of her. It's your fault—you know it, it's you." fault—why did you abandon me?"

Carrie turned away slowly, as if restraining some impulse in silence.Then she turned around.

"Ray," she said, "my greatest happiness lies in the fact that I have always thought that your love is all poured into a virtuous woman, worthy of you in family, wealth, and achievements. But now you What a circumstance I have revealed! Why do you so oppose your own happiness?"

This latter question is asked so innocently that it is a personal question for the audience as well as for the lover.

At the end the lover yelled, "Treat me as usual."

Carrie replied sweetly, "I can no longer do that to you, but I can speak in the spirit of Laura, who is dead to you forever."

"Do as you wish," Barton said.

Hurstwood leaned forward.The entire audience was silent and engrossed.

"Whether the woman you fancy is clever or vain," said Carrie, looking downcastly at her slumped lover in his chair, "beautiful or ugly, rich or poor, she can truly give you Or there's only one thing she refuses to give you—and that's her heart."

Drouet felt a constriction in his throat.

"Her beauty, her intelligence, her achievements, she may be able to sell you, but her love cannot be bought with money, it is a priceless treasure."

The manager thought it was addressed directly to him, and it sounded to him as if they were the only two of them together.The woman he loved had such a hopeless future, so tragic, yet so charming, that he couldn't help crying.Drouet could not help it either.He was secretly making up his mind to be better for Carrie hereafter than he had ever been before.Omg, he's marrying her! She's a match.

"She wanted him to answer her only," Carrie went on.As for her lover's expected answer, she hardly listened to it, but merged with the weeping tune of the band.She said, "Every time you look at her, your eyes should express your loyalty; every time you speak to her, your voice should be tender, affectionate, and kind; Only because she did not at once understand your mighty mind and lofty ambition; for her love will still comfort you when bad luck and evil have thwarted your greatest aims. Your eyes are on the trees ’” she went on, when Hurstwood only restrained himself and repressed his emotions, “in order to draw strength for great things. Do not underestimate those flowers, for all they have to offer is Fragrant. Remember," she said softly at last, "that love is all a woman can give." She landed on the word "everything" with a strangely sweet accent. "But it's the only thing God allows us to leave outside the grave."

They both suffered greatly from the lack of venting of their feelings for Carrie.They hardly listened to what was said at the end of the finale.They just saw their idol perform in a moving style, continue to glow, and it was a revelation to both of them.

Hurstwood had a thousand resolutions, and so had Drouet.Together they joined in the rapturous applause which at last called Carrie to the front of the stage for the curtain call.Drouet applauded until his hands ached.Then, he jumped up again and rushed out.When he went, Carrie was coming out, and he was waiting there when he saw a big basket of flowers coming from the tunnel.It was from Hurstwood.She glanced at the manager's box, met his eyes, and smiled.He wanted to jump out of the box and hug her, forgetting that married people should be careful.He had almost forgotten the people he was in the box with.God, he would sacrifice anything to have this lovely girl.He needs to act now.Drouet, it's time for him to die.He couldn't wait another day.The salesman should never have possessed her.

He was so excited that he couldn't stay in the box any longer.He walked into the passage and then out into the street, thinking all the way.Drouet did not return.Not a few minutes after the last scene, he was anxious to be alone with Carrie.He cursed the moment when all he could do was laugh, bow, and put on airs, when in fact he only wanted to tell her he loved her, to whisper in her ear alone.Seeing that his hopes were futile, he hummed bitterly.He had to pretend to take her out for supper.Later, he walked over to ask her how she was doing.The actors are all undressing, talking, hurrying about.Drouet schmoozed after the intense excitement.The manager tried his best to restrain himself.

"Of course we're going to have supper," he said.The voice he spoke was a kind of mockery to his heart.

"Oh, yes," said Carrie, smiling slightly.

The young actress was in high spirits at this point.She now understands what it means to be loved.For the first time in her life, she was admired and pursued by others.The independence that comes with success is now budding.The situation was completely reversed, and she was looking down at her lover instead of looking up.She hadn't fully understood the situation, but in condescension, she still felt an indescribable sweetness in it.When she was ready, they boarded the waiting carriage and drove to the downtown area.The only moment when she had an opportunity of expressing her feelings was when the manager stepped into the carriage before Drouet, and took a seat beside her.Before Drouet got into the car and sat down, she squeezed Hurstwood's hand tenderly and impulsively.The manager is so impulsive.If he could be alone with her, he would be willing to ask him to sell his soul. "Ah," he thought to himself, "bitter."

Drouet talked endlessly, and thought he was the only one in Carrie's mind.The dinner was ruined by his overexcitement.As Hurstwood went home, he felt that if this affection could find no relief, it would be better to be dead."Tomorrow," he whispered warmly to Carrie.She will understand.He walked away from the salesman and his baby with the feeling that he would never regret killing him.Carrie too felt the pain of parting.

"Good night," he said, with an air of deliberation and friendship.

"Good night," said the young actress softly.

"That fool!" said he, who now hated Drouet to death, "that fool! I'll beat him, and at once! To-morrow will see."

"Oh, what a masterpiece you are," said Drouet, squeezing Carrie's arm with extraordinary pride, "you are the prettiest little girl in the world."

(End of this chapter)