sister carrie

Chapter 36

Chapter 21 The Attraction of the Spirit: The Pursuit of the Flesh

Hurstwood had been waiting for some minutes when Carrie arrived.His heart was still hot and his nerves were tense.He was eager to see the woman who had shaken his soul so much last night.

"Ah, you're here." He tried his best to restrain himself, and felt his limbs agitated, which could be said to be both joyful and sad.

"Yes," said Carrie.

They walked as if towards some definite goal, and Hurstwood felt bathed in her radiance.It's like drinking alcohol.Her beautiful dress, with its sound, was like music to him.

"Are you satisfied?" he asked.He thought of how wonderful her performance was last night.

"And you?"

Seeing her smiling at him, he couldn't help but squeeze his fingers tightly.

"It's amazing."

Carrie laughed very smugly.

"I haven't seen such a wonderful performance in a long time." He continued.

He savored the loveliness he had felt in her the night before, and added to it the affection that her very presence aroused now.

As for Carrie, she was basking in the atmosphere this man had created for her.She was already full of joy.

"What bright flowers you sent me," she said after a while, "beautiful."

"I'm glad you like it." He answered plainly.

All he was thinking at the moment was that the topic he wanted to talk about kept getting diverted.He was anxious to turn the conversation on to the subject he had in mind.Everything has matured.His Carrie was by his side now.He wished to speak directly, to persuade her, but found himself still choosing his words, as if groping forward with his hands.

"You're doing well when you get home," he said gloomily, with a sudden change in his tone, full of self-pity.

"Yes," said Carrie casually.

He looked at her for a moment, slowed down, and stared at her again.

She felt this torrent of affection.

"What should I do?" he asked.

This disturbed Carrie quite a bit, for she understood that the floodgates had been opened.She didn't know how to answer it.

"I don't know," she replied.

He clenched his lower lip with his teeth, and it took a while for him to let go.He stopped on the side of the road and kicked the grass with his toes.He searched her face for answers with tender and pleading eyes.

"Can you leave him and come here?" he asked eagerly.

"I don't know," replied Carrie.She was still floating aimlessly, unable to catch anything.

In fact, she has indeed fallen into a desperate situation with nowhere to call for help.Here was a man she was passionately in love with who had such an influence over her that she could be tricked into thinking she was completely besotted with him.His piercing eyes, his gentle look, his fine dress: she is still their tame slave.She opened her eyes and saw the man in front of her with a free and easy demeanor, full of sympathy, leaning sideways towards her. His kind of affection is also a pleasure to see.She could not resist the warmth of his temper, the gleam of his eyes.She couldn't help thinking what he thought, so she thought too.

But she was not without thoughts that perplexed her.What did he know? What did Drouet tell him? Was she a wife in his eyes or something? Would he marry her? Even now that he was talking, she relented. .There was a tender gleam in her eyes, but she was still thinking to herself if Drouet had told him that they were not yet married.As for what Drouet had said, it was never reliable.

But she did not worry about Hurstwood's love either.Whatever he knows, his love has no bitterness in it.His enthusiasm is genuine and passionate.There is power in what he says.What should she do? She was thinking secretly like this, vaguely giving herself an answer, haggard for love, and wandering around from beginning to end, blindly guessing and speculating, without making up her mind at all.

"Why don't you go out?" he said tenderly. "I'll make arrangements for you, no matter—"

"Oh, don't," said Carrie.

"Don't what?" he asked. "What does that mean?"

There was a look of panic and pain on her face.Why, she wondered, such an unfortunate thought was always involved! The despicable prospects of life beyond the confines of formal marriage pierced her heart like a sharp knife.

He himself realized that he was caught in a misfortune.He needs to weigh the consequences, but he can't see clearly.He was just tentatively going on: refreshed by being with her;

"Come on, won't you?" he said.It was him again, and more sincerely, "You know, I can't live without you--and you know that--it must never go on like this--no, can't it?"

"I know," said Carrie.

"I'd ask if I could--not quarrel with you. Look at me, Carrie. If you were in my place. You wouldn't leave me, would you?"

She shook her head, as if deep in thought.

"Then why not get straight to the point and settle it completely?"

"I don't know," said Carrie.

"I don't know! Oh, Carrie, why do you say that? Don't torture me. Talk seriously."

"I mean it," said Carrie in a low voice.

"You can't be serious and say things like that, dearest. You can't say things like that when you know how much I love you. Just look at last night."

When he said that, his demeanor was as peaceful as possible.His face, his body and mind were strangely composed.Only his eyes moved, casting ecstatic fire.All the passion in the man's nature came out in his eyes.

Carrie made no answer.

"How can you be like this, dearest?" he asked after a pause, "you love me, don't you?"

He poured out on her with such a storm of enthusiasm that it took her breath away.For a moment, all doubts were wiped away.

"Yes," she replied, honestly and tenderly.

"Well, you'll be here then, won't you?—up tonight?"

Carrie shook her head in spite of her perplexity.

"I can't wait any longer," urged Hurstwood. "If time is too short, come on Saturday."

"When are we getting married?" she asked timidly.Forgot in this embarrassing moment that she had hoped that he would think of her as Mrs. Drouet.

The manager was taken aback when he heard this, but he was stumped by a problem. For him, this problem was more difficult than hers.The thought flashed through his mind, but he didn't express it.

"Whenever you say is when." He said calmly.He did not want to have such a distressing question overshadow the joy of the moment.

"Saturday?" asked Carrie.

He nodded.

"Well, if you marry me then," she said, "I'll go."

The manager looked at this lovely man, so handsome, so lively, so hard to win, so he made a somewhat strange resolution.His enthusiasm has grown to such a stage.Now it is no longer under the control of reason.Now that the beauty is present, such small obstacles don't bother him much.He was determined to accept the situation in spite of all its difficulties, and despite all the reproaches that hard truth might raise, he could not manage so much.Anything, no matter what, he can promise, and leave everything to fate to free him from difficulties.He wants to try to create a paradise, whether he succeeds or loses.he will be happy.My God, if necessary, I would be willing to speak honestly and abandon all the pursuit of truth as the price.

Carrie looked at him tenderly.She really wanted to rest her head on his shoulder, it all seemed so good.

"Well," she said, "then I'll try and get everything in order."

Hurstwood stared at her charming head, though tinged with a slight shadow of misgiving.He thought to himself that he had never seen such a lovely person before.

"I'll see you again tomorrow morning," he said cheerfully, "and we'll talk about the plan then."

He walked with her with an indescribable lightness, and it was a joy to have such a happy ending.He made her feel deeply his joy and affection.Although only an occasional sentence or two came out, after half an hour he began to realize that their meeting must end, how cruel the world was.

"Tomorrow," he said as they parted.To his bold demeanor he had to add his cheerful air.

"Yes," said Carrie, going away lightly.

Now that intense passion had grown, she convinced herself that she was in love.Every time she thinks of her handsome lover, she sighs for him.Yeah, by Saturday she's going to have everything ready.She will go and they will be happy.

(End of this chapter)