sister carrie

Chapter 75 (2)

Chapter 42 Spring Dew: People go to the empty building (2)
"There must be a place near here where two rooms can be found, and that will be enough."

She resisted inwardly. "Never!" she thought to herself.Who will pay for the move? Think about it, two rooms, and live with him! She made up her mind to spend her money on clothes before something terrible happened.It was on this day that she acted.Now that this is done, there is only one other thing to do.

"Lola," she said when she visited her friend, "I'm going to move in."

"Oh, that's great!" Laura exclaimed.

"Can we get it right away?" she asked.This refers to the room.

"Of course." Laura exclaimed.

They went to see the house.Carrie had saved ten dollars out of expenses--enough for this and board.Her salary increase didn't start counting until ten days later--seventeen days later.She gave half of the six dollars to her friend.

"Ah, I only have enough money for the weekend." She said kindly.

"Oh, I've got some," Laura said, "and I've got twenty-five dollars if you want."

"No," said Carrie, "I think I can handle it."

They decided to move on Friday, which means there are two days left.Now things have been decided.She was getting worried.She felt deeply guilty in this matter.Looking at Hurstwood every day, she felt this, and felt deeply that his attitude was unpleasant, and there was something pathetic about it.

She looked at him the night she made up her mind to leave, and he seemed less lazy and useless than a man ruined and broken by chance.His eyes were no longer sharp, his face was wrinkled, and his hands were weak.She felt that his hair was a little gray.As she stared at him like this, he seemed to have no sense of his doom, just rocking the rocking chair and reading his newspaper.

Knowing that the end was imminent, she couldn't let go.

"Would you like to go and buy some canned peaches," she asked Hurstwood, setting down a two-dollar bill.

"Of course." He said, looking at the banknotes with some doubts in his heart.

"See if there's any nice asparagus," she went on, "I'll burn it for dinner."

Hurstwood got up, took the money, put on his coat, and took off his hat.Carrie noticed that both were old and ugly.This was already obvious before, but now it seems particularly shocking.After all, maybe he himself is helpless.He's done pretty well in Chicago.She recalled his free and easy figure when they met in the park.At that time, how lively and upright he was.Is all this his fault?
When he got home, he put his change and food on the table.

"You keep it," she said, "we need something else."

"No," he said with some pride, "you take it."

"Oh, keep it," she replied, not without emotion, "I need something else."

He was a little puzzled by this, not knowing that he had become a pitiful image in her mind.As for her, she tried to restrain herself from trilling when she spoke.

To tell the truth, Carrie would have such an attitude towards anything.She sometimes looked back on how she had parted from Drouet, and deeply regretted that she had been so unkind to him.She hoped never to see him again, but was deeply ashamed of her actions.This is not to say that you have no choice when you finally break up.When Hurstwood told her that Drouet was ill, she had gone to him of her own accord.In short, there was something cruel somewhere, and she was not so capable of it herself, and could trace the real source of this phenomenon spiritually. Her conclusion could only be that she felt deeply what she had done to Hurstwood. She could never understand what she did, and felt that her decision was really cruel: for this, she was ashamed.It wasn't that she was still attached to him.It's just that she doesn't want to make people who have been kind to her feel uncomfortable.

She allowed her feelings to rule her thus without realizing what she was doing.As for Hurstwood, noting her kindness, he thought better of her. "Carrie is kind by nature, after all," he thought.

You went to see Miss Osborne this afternoon, and you saw this lady singing and packing.

"Why didn't she come to me today?" she asked.

"Oh, I can't yet," said Carrie. "I'll be here on Friday. Can you lend me the twenty-five dollars you said?"

"Of course." Laura said, looking for her wallet.

"I want to do some shopping," said Carrie.

"Oh, it's nothing." The little girl said kindly.She enjoys helping others.

It was a few days since Hurstwood bought groceries and newspapers.Now he was bored at home all the time—it had been two days—but the weather was still cold and gray, so he didn't go out, but the weather turned sunny and warm on Friday, which was a sign of lovely days to come, It can be said to be a good sign in the dark winter, indicating that the earth has not abandoned its warmth and beauty.The sky was blue, the sun was shining, and there were beams of crystal-clear warm light.The sound of sparrows indicates that the outdoors is a peaceful and happy scene.Carrie opened the front window and felt the south wind blowing against her face.

"How lovely it is outside today," she said.

"Really?" said Hurstwood.

Immediately after breakfast, he changed his clothes.

"Come home for lunch?" asked Carrie uneasily.

"No," he said.

He went out and strolled north along Qitiao Street.We aim at the Harun River.When I went to the winery last time, I saw several boats there.He didn't know what had changed in that area.

After 59th Street, he took Central Park West to 79th Street, then remembered the neighborhood and turned to look at the new buildings there.Things have improved a lot.Houses have already been built on large open spaces.When I came back, I still walked along the park, reached Shitiao Street, then turned into Qitiao Street again, and arrived at the beautiful river at one o'clock in the afternoon.

As far as the eye can see, the Harun River meanders, the river is full of waves and shadows, dotted with stars, the right side is a wavy embankment, and the left side is a row of trees piercing the sky. The warmth of spring awakens him to feel the loveliness of that season.He stood there with his hands behind his back, watching the scenery on the river for a while.Then he turned around and headed eastward, looking aimlessly for the boats he had seen a few days ago.At four o'clock in the afternoon, the day was coming to an end, and it was going to be cool at night, so he went home.He is hungry and will have a good meal in the warmth of the house.

When we walked home at 05:30, it was already dark.He knew Carrie would not be home.It wasn't just that there was no light coming through the transom, but that the evening paper was jammed under the door.He took out the key, opened the door, and walked in.It was still dark in the room.The gas lamp was lit, and he sat down to wait.Even if Carrie came back at this time, it would be late for supper.He read the paper until it was six o'clock, then got up to do something for himself.

As he did so, he noticed something strange in the room.What happened? He looked around as if he had lost something, and saw an envelope near where he was sitting.The envelope said it all, and hardly required his next move.

He reached over and took the envelope, a shudder running through his body as he stretched his hand forward.There was a loud noise when the envelope in his hand was opened.The green paper money was limply contained in the envelope.

"Dear George," he read, rattling the bills in his hand. "I'm leaving. I'm not coming back. There's no need to keep this apartment. I can't do it. I don't want to help you, if I can; but I can't afford the two of us and the rent. I need to use the money I earn A little money from here for clothes. I left twenty dollars. That's all I have now. As for the furniture, you can do what you like. I don't need it, Carrie."

He put down the letter and looked around calmly.Now he understood, understood what was missing from him.What was missing was the small decorative clock.That's hers.The clock was no longer on the mantelpiece.He went into the front room, into the space between his bedroom and the drawing-room, lighting the gas lamps as he went.Small silver cutlery and plates were missing from the cupboard.There was no lace tablecloth on the table.He opened the wardrobe—her clothes were gone, he opened the drawers—her things were gone.Her box, which had been in its old place, was gone.In his own room hung his old clothes just as they had been before he went out.Everything else is there too.

He stepped into the living room and stood for a few minutes, staring blankly at the floor.There was a suffocating silence.The small suite was strangely bleak.He simply forgot that he was hungry and that it was time for supper.As if the night had fallen.

Suddenly, he found that the money was still in his palm.A total of 20 yuan, just like she said.Now he stepped back, letting the lights stay on, feeling the emptiness of the room.

"I'm getting out of here," he said to himself.

Then all the boundless loneliness around him came over him.

"Leaving me," he muttered, repeating, "leaving me."

This place was originally such a comfortable place, where he spent many, many warm times, but now there is only a piece of memory left.What he faced was something colder.He lay down in the chair, resting his chin in one hand—he had only scattered sensations in his head, and his thoughts were like a bunch of tangled hemp.

Then, what seemed like pain and self-pity came over me.

"She needn't go away," he said. "I'll find something to do."

He sat for a while without shaking the rocking chair, and then uttered quite clearly:
"I tried, didn't I?"

Until midnight, he was still rocking the rocking chair, staring at the floor.

(End of this chapter)