sister carrie

Chapter 84 (2)

Chapter 46 Stirring the already cloudy water even more cloudy (2)
There was something special about her solitary, withdrawn personality, and she became an interesting figure in the public eye—she was so quiet and reserved.

It didn't take long for the management to decide to move to London instead.Here, the second summer doesn't look like business will be so good.

"What do you think about trying to conquer London?" the manager asked her one afternoon.

"Perhaps it's just London that conquers me," said Carrie.

"I think we're going till June," he answered.

Forgot about Hurstwood as he hurried away.Both he and Drouet found that she was gone.Drouet, who had been here once, cried out when he heard the news.So he stood in the hall, biting the tip of his beard.He finally came to a conclusion - the old days are gone forever.

"She's nothing special," he said, but deep down he didn't believe it either.

Hurstwood had a curious way of sticking his mouth shut during the long summers and autumns.Worked for a month as a janitor in a dance hall.More days are spent begging, sometimes hungry, sometimes sleeping in the park.The other days were invoking specific charities, some of which he stumbled across while searching desperately.In the middle of winter, Carrie came back and appeared in a new Broadway play, but he didn't know it.For weeks, he wandered about the city begging, while illuminated advertisements, at night in the bustling streets of the amusement district, brilliantly announced to the public what she was going to do.Drouet did see it, but he dared not risk it.

Around this time, Ames returned to New York.He has made some success in the West, and now runs a laboratory on Worcester Street.Of course he had met Carrie through Mrs. Vance.But the two of them had nothing to do with each other.He thought she was married to Hurstwood, until later he found out otherwise.He didn't know the facts, didn't want to pretend to know, and didn't want to comment.

He went to see the new play with Mrs. Vance, and gave his opinion.

"She shouldn't be in comedy," he said. "I think she could do better than this."

They met by chance one afternoon at Vance's house, and a friendly conversation began.She couldn't explain why the once intense interest in him was gone now.No doubt it was because, at that moment, he represented something that she didn't have at the time.But this she did not understand.The success of her career now gave her a feeling for a moment that she now had a lot of things that he would approve of.According to the facts, her small reputation in the newspapers was nothing to him.He thinks she's capable of acting better, much better.

"So you haven't done serious comedy yet?" he said.

He recalled her interest in the art form.

"No," she replied, "not yet."

He looked at her strangely, which made her realize that she herself had failed, "However, I wanted to act."

"I think you'll do it," he said. "You've got the air for serious comedy."

It surprised her that he should talk about temperament.Could it be that, in his heart, there is a clear picture of her?
"Why?" she asked.

"Well," he said, "it seems to me that you are naturally sympathetic."

Carrie smiled and blushed a little.He was so sincere to her that it made her friendship with him even deeper.The desire to pursue ideals in the past rekindled in my heart.

"I don't know," she answered, but with pleasure, which could not be concealed.

"I've seen your play," he said, "and it was very good."

"I'm glad you like it."

"It's really good," he said, "for a comedy."

That was all that was said at the time, and the conversation was interrupted, but then they met again, and he sat in a corner after dinner, staring at the floor, while Carrie and another guest Walking over, his face was haggard due to hard work, and there was something in it that appealed to her, but Carrie didn't know it.

"Just one person?" she said.

"I'm listening music."

"I'll be there in a minute," said her companion, who could not see the greatness of the inventor.

He looked up at her face now, because she was standing and he was sitting.

"Isn't this a very sad tone?" He asked while listening.

"Oh, very pathetic," she replied, recognizing it, and paying attention.

"Sit down," he continued, pushing a nearby chair toward her.

They listened in silence for a while, all deeply moved, but for her it was through the depths of their hearts.Music fascinated her as before.

"I don't know what music is," she began.She was deeply moved by an inexplicable longing stirring in her breast, "but it always makes me feel as if I'm after something—I—"

"Yeah," he replied, "I know how you feel."

Suddenly he turned to the peculiarities of her temperament, speaking frankly of her feelings.

"You shouldn't be sad," he said.

He thought for a while, and then spoke of something that seemed irrelevant, but which suited their feelings.

"The world is full of desirable situations, and unfortunately, we can only be in one at a time. It doesn't do us any good to lament the unattainable." .”

The music stopped, and he stood up, as if he was going to take a rest while standing in front of her.

"Why don't you do some good tough comedy?" he said.He was looking straight at her now, studying her face.Her large sympathetic eyes and her bitter mouth seemed to him sufficient evidence of his judgment.

"Maybe I will," she replied.

"This is your world," he went on.

"Do you think so?"

"Yes," said he, "I think so, and I don't think you are aware of it. But your eyes and your mouth suit you for performances of this nature."

Carrie's heart skipped a beat at being thus taken seriously.For a moment, the loneliness disappeared.Such compliments are both genuine and analytical.

"It's your eyes, your mouth," he went on more abstractly. "I remember thinking the first time I saw you, there's something special about your mouth. I think you want to cry."

"How strange," said Carrie.This is exactly what she longed for.

"Then I noticed, it's your natural look, and I saw you again tonight. You also had that shadow in your eyes, which gave your face that same feature. I see, it's something on a deep level."

Carrie stared into his face, and her whole being was shaken.

"Maybe you don't realize it," he went on.

She looks away.She was happy that he could say that.She longed to be worthy of the look that was carved on her face.This opened the door for her to pursue new visions.

She had reason to think about it until they saw each other again - which was weeks or more later.It showed that she was drifting away from the old ideals that had occupied her mind for so long since the dressing room at the Avary Playhouse.Why has she lost it?
"I know why you're a successful career," he said another time, "if only you could take on a more dramatic role. I've worked out—"

"What's that?" said Carrie.

"Ah," he said, as if delighted by a riddle, "the look on your face is something that shows itself on different occasions. In a pathetic song, or in any song that moves you deeply." You have the same thing in the picture. It’s something the world likes to see because it’s a natural outgrowth of the world’s desire.”

Carrie just stared, as if not really grasping the meaning of what he said.

"The world is always trying to express itself," he went on. "Most people are incapable of expressing their feelings. They depend on others. That's what geniuses are made for. One who expresses their desire through music, Another by poetry, another by drama. Sometimes a creature by a face—a face by which a creature expresses all its desires. Such is the case with your face."

He looked at her, and there was in his eyes the meaning of what he had said, which she understood.At least she gets the idea that her face represents what the world desires.She thought it was an honor and was very moved.Then he said:

"It puts a burden of responsibility on you that you happen to own this thing. It's not due to you—I mean, maybe you don't own this thing. You don't deserve it What did you give. But now that you have it, you have to do something about it."

"What?" asked Carrie.

"Move to the theater, I say. You have such compassion and such a gift for singing. Let that do the good of people, and it will keep your charm alive."

Carrie did not understand the last sentence.As for everything else, her comedic success was of little or no value.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Ah, that's right. You have this quality in your eyes, in your mouth, in your nature. You know, you can lose it. If you stray from it, the light is only for you Human life, it will soon disappear. Your eyes will lose the gaze, your mouth will deform, and your power of acting will disappear. You may think it can't be like this, but it will be. The Creator will rule everything."

He was so zealous in proclaiming salutary ideas that he sometimes became almost excited, and preached loudly.Something in Carrie moved him, and he would cheer her up.

"I see," she said blankly, not without guilt for ignoring it.

"If I were you," he said, "I'd change a bit."

The statement had the effect of muddying the waters of helplessness. (Meaning: messed up Carrie's state of mind, made her want to change the current situation, but she was powerless, confused in vain, just like the river water can only drift helplessly. - Translator) Carrie is good Sitting in a rocking chair for a few days, thinking hard about it.

"I can't believe I'm going to be in comedy for so long," she later told Lola.

"Oh, why not?" Laura asked.

"I see," she said, "I'm better at serious plays."

"How did you get such a thought in your head?"

"Oh, nothing," she replied, "I've always thought so."

But she did nothing—just worried.It was a long way to go to something better—or what seemed to be it—and her life was already comfortable, so she was lazy and longing with.

(End of this chapter)