Qing Palace - Biography of Concubine Wan

Chapter 99 I would like to use this article to commemorate my deceased grandmother

I hesitated for a long time before writing this article, and I have not decided whether to write this article. The reason for not wanting to write is simple, because I am afraid of remembering the fact that my grandma has left me. Every time I go to my grandma’s house, because my grandpa is deaf, So usually it is my grandma who comes downstairs to open the door for me. Every time she comes down to open the door, she will look out from the small window to see who is outside, and every time I go, she will make the best food at home. Take out something for me to eat.

But in the future, all of this will only exist in memory. Grandma’s voice and smile will never be seen again. From now on, she will never look at me from the small window, let alone give me something to eat with a smile on her face, old lady Gone, she will never come back.

I don’t want to write, I really don’t want to write, I’m afraid of recalling the pain of losing a loved one, every time I think of it, my chest will feel tight, and tears will fill my eyes involuntarily.

Crying can't alleviate the pain in my heart, but it will continue to aggravate the pain, so I can only hold back desperately, trying to force the tears back into the body from the eye sockets, but if I don't write, I can't think of any other way to commemorate my grandma , to commemorate this dear elder who has seen me for 25 years!
My grandmother is from Shaoxing, and my grandfather is from Ningbo. She left her hometown and came to Ningbo after marrying my grandfather. She stayed here for fifty years!
I heard from my grandma that when she was young, her family was very rich. My grandma’s father was a famous capitalist in Shaoxing. There were six brothers in their family (referring to those who survived, I don’t know who died young), and there were several aunts. Later, it seemed that because of the founding of New China, the family fortune gradually declined. Anyway, when I knew they were sensible, they were already the same as ordinary people.

My grandfather went to work in Guangzhou not long after he got married. After that, he could only come back to Ningbo twice a year. This situation continued until my grandfather retired. At this time, my grandfather was 60 years old, and my grandmother was 59 years old.

My grandmother gave birth to a daughter and two sons. My mother is the eldest, and there are two uncles under her. My mother and the two uncles each gave birth to a daughter, that is, me and two cousins.

It can be said that my mother and my two uncles were raised by my grandmother alone. At that time, my grandfather did not earn much money. Except for the necessary expenses, he saved everything else and sent them back to Ningbo. The money is still far from enough. , so my grandma is working hard with her three children. I don't know the specific situation, but I can imagine how difficult it was for my grandma at that time, and my grandma's saving habits should also be developed from that time , this habit has not been changed until she died!

It is worth mentioning that my grandmother is illiterate, so she can only earn money by doing jobs that do not require literacy.Later, her life became better, and the three women all got married one after another, and her grandfather also retired, and she received a retirement salary every month, and her two sons also gave her money from time to time. At this time, she no longer had to worry about living, but she Still working non-stop, taking boxes from the factory and folding them at home, how much is a box folded?half point!When you are alive, you can fold thousands of boxes a day!
My mother, uncle and I all advised her not to do it, just to enjoy the happiness at home, but she refused, she said to me: Grandma can earn thousands of yuan a year like this, and I can give you more during the Chinese New Year Some lucky money!

Sorry to say, I am 25 years old, my grandparents will give me New Year's money every year, and I haven't given it away in a year. They said they will always give me the wedding day!
And she always told me from time to time that she had prepared a dowry for me and was just waiting for the day when I got married, but she still didn't wait for it in the end. I think when my grandma passed away, she must still have regrets in her heart. She couldn't see it with her own eyes. Her granddaughter got married, and she didn't even find a boyfriend to bring it to her!
Seventy, my grandma lived to be 70 years old, but she didn't enjoy any blessings, some were just endless worries. I was raised by my grandma from a young age until I went to school, and she and I were also Especially dear, but my temper is too stubborn, and sometimes I can't control my anger with my grandparents, especially after having two younger sisters, I want to tell her now: Grandma, I will never do it again !But there is no chance, and there will never be such a chance!
On the night of August [-], [-], I will always remember this night, my father called to tell me that my grandma died!
When I heard this sentence, I was dumbfounded. I came out of the unit, took a taxi, and rushed to my grandma's house. I was not too sad along the way, but more at a loss and at a loss!How could this be?How could this be?I asked myself in my heart over and over again, but I couldn't find the answer.

Grandma has been sick since August and September last year. We all know that it is a throat problem. Whether it is eating or drinking, it is very difficult for her to swallow. Every meal is a torture for her. , it became more and more serious at the back, and she lost even the strength to chew, so in the end she could only eat soft food like tofu, and her speech was also slurred, almost inaudible!
Grandma was not thin at first, she could even be said to be a little fat, but since she got sick, she has lost weight little by little, and her mood has been depressed from time to time.

I got out of the car and rushed upstairs. I saw my grandma in the room. She was lying on the bed with her eyes closed and motionless. She seemed to be asleep, but everyone knew that this sleep would never happen again. will wake up!

At this moment, I finally believed it, believed the bad news, weeping kept coming out from between my fingers, I never imagined that she would leave so suddenly, without even giving us any psychological preparation.

And last Sunday, I asked my mother how my grandma was doing. My mother said that my grandma was still the same, and she also mentioned you and asked why you didn't go to see her!

I smiled at my mother at the time, but didn't say that it was more than a month ago when I saw my grandma last time, and the reason why I didn't go was because I wanted to wait until the NO. The money I earned from writing the book was given to my grandmother to let her know that her granddaughter can make money not only from working, but also from writing books. I think she will be very happy if she finds out!
And I was thinking, when I publish the book at the end of the year, I will buy them an air conditioner. My uncle and the others also said they would buy it for my grandma, but she couldn't bear the money and the electricity bill, so she didn't let them buy it.

I once jokingly told my grandma before that I would buy it for you when I made money from writing books. She nodded with a smile, but she couldn’t speak clearly. Maybe she thought I was just making her happy, but she didn’t know what I said. It's true, I've always kept it in my heart!
But it's useless to say anything now, she can't wait anymore, and for me, it's too late to say anything.

But I will definitely buy an air conditioner, for my grandpa!
My grandpa is the saddest when my grandma is gone. From now on, he will only be alone, and he will no longer be able to support each other with his wife.In fact, my grandpa and grandma often argue, mostly because of small things, but the relationship between the two is really good. After my grandma got sick, not only it was difficult to eat, it was difficult to speak, and many things were inconvenient. My grandpa was taking care of her. Well, if the rice is too hard to chew, cook it softer; if the meat is too old, cook it for a longer period of time until it is very soft; if you can’t wash your hair or wipe your body, my grandpa will do it for her. Grandpa has only one hope, It means that the old woman can live a few more years, and he can spend a few more years with the old woman!
However, all these hopes ended on the night of August [-], [-]. Grandma choked while eating, and then the breath never came out again!

During the three days from August [-]th to September [-]st, we accompanied her through the last journey of her life. Her siblings in Shaoxing all rushed over, five of them, none of whom were absent!
However, in these last few days, there was one person who never came, and that was her eldest granddaughter. Why?Because she is busy with the start of the first year of high school, hehe... (I really don't know why I am still in the mood to laugh)
Grandma is gone and will never come back. I can’t save her life, so I just write this article here to commemorate my deceased grandma, commemorate my grandma who has worked hard for 70 years, and hope that in the next life, she will not No matter how hard I work, I hope that I can be your granddaughter again in the next life, and then I will never be angry with you again!
And my greatest hope now is that grandpa can live a few more years, so that I can be filial for a few more years. Grandma, if you are alive, you must bless grandpa with a long life and good health!

Interpretation
2007-9-1 Written in Ningbo
(End of this chapter)