The daily life of the prime minister of the Qing Dynasty, thick black

Chapter 235 Women's World

This year's Zhang Mansion was not lively at all. Not long after the Mid-Autumn Festival passed, one could feel that the two masters in the mansion were a little different.

The second master's wife still looks the same, but the maids have been suppressing their laughter recently.

Qingdai and Bailu are worried. After all, Bailu has low qualifications and has not been with Gu Huaishu for a long time, but Qingdai understands it very well. Regarding the matter of Shen Qu, it is really Gu Huaishu's heart. If it turns out...

She didn't know what to say, so she went to the back kitchen alone, brought the mutton soup that had just been cooked during the winter solstice, and then let out a long sigh.

As soon as Shi Fang washed his hands, he saw Qing Dai's sad face, and he couldn't help persuading her: "Second Master and Madam are all sensible people, if there is anything, they can just figure it out, Brother Lin and Sister Xiang are the same age. It’s not that big, how can the relationship between husband and wife last for more than 20 years disappear because of these trivial things?”

"...It's just that I feel unhappy seeing Madam's current appearance."

It's hard to say who's right and who's wrong in this matter. After careful calculation, the second master has already started to hide from his wife since the Southern Tour was in the south of the Yangtze River.

Maybe other people don't think about it, but to Gu Huaishu, it's too important.

She may be able to withstand the slander of others, the accusations of thousands of people against her, and even ignore the calculations of the nobles in Tianhuang, and she may be cruel...but it is too difficult for her to bear the guilt in her heart .

Gu Huaishu once said to Zhang Ruoai that there is nothing invincible in this world, only the invincible self.

How can she free herself from the guilt of a child who owed her more than ten years?

What's more, until now, even making up for it seems pale.

She still ate and drank what she needed to drink, but the insomnia and light sleep problems in her early years started again, so that the whole person actually lost weight.

During this period of time, Shen Qu seems to have gone to Tianjin, and Gu Huaishu has never left the house, and most of them are others who came to see her.

This couple of many years in the capital used to be so enviable, but now there are so many people waiting to see the joke.

Good things don't go out, bad things spread thousands of miles, who knows what will happen in the future?
Qingdai thinks about it, after so many years of ups and downs, she doesn't know what will happen in the future.

"I was anxious for the two masters, but they didn't respond at all."

Shi Fang glanced at her, then bowed his head again: "It's good for Madam to wake up... I always feel that she's not so free and easy since she left the pavilion and entered Zhang's mansion... You can calculate carefully whether Madam will survive one day." What? She can get by in this day and age. You only take care of her to eat and drink well, and there are no barriers she can't get through... The boat will naturally go straight when it reaches the bridge."

These are just Xiao Shifang's personal feelings, maybe he is nostalgic and likes the old Gu Huaishu.

Hearing this, Qing Dai frowned, thinking about it carefully, who would be easy?
In the early years, although she was scheming in the mansion and was framed by the big girl, she still had a small world of peace. She laughed when she was happy, cried when she was happy, and just ate, drank, played and made trouble...

In this day and age, every step of the way is frightening and involuntary, and I have to think hard about it.

"You and I are just little people, how can we understand their thoughts? Hey, I'm going."

After all, Qing Dai didn't want to say too much, Shi Fang just watched her leave.

Seeing that the new year is coming again, the weather is gradually getting colder, but what makes people even colder is not the weather, but the current situation.

When Gu Huaishu heard the voice, he knew that Qingdai had come back, she didn't speak, just drank a bowl of soup and then rested.

Qing Dai knelt down on the bedside footrest, covered Gu Huai's sleeve with a cup, and only sighed softly.

Gu Huaishu opened his eyes and smiled, "Why are you sighing?"

"I only think that there is no way for you and the second master to be deadlocked like this... The matter of taking the young master is now a foregone conclusion. If you are deadlocked here with the second master, it is better to talk to Master Shen..."

I have to say, Qing Dai is also a good idea.

But what she could think of, Gu Huaishu couldn't think of it?

She closed her eyes: "Shen Qu has already returned to me. He won't come back. What can I do? Kill Shen Chao, or kill Shen Qu, or make peace with the second master? One is my husband, the other It is my own flesh and blood, an adoptive father who has become my own flesh and blood, even if my kindness avenges or kills Shen Chao with revenge, won't my children hate me? Everyone of them has a way to go, and a heartless one can abandon his father Flesh and blood, a heartless mother-child relationship, only me, dangling in a dilemma..."

At this time, Qing Dai was also speechless.

She somehow remembered Shi Fang's words just now, "Just now Shi Fang told the maidservant that after you got married, you will not be as free and easy as you used to be. The head of the bridge is naturally straight... I don't know where he came from so many big words..."

"...He also started to stew chicken soup."

Gu Huaishu smiled so rarely, and bent his lips.

Qing Dai was a little puzzled, didn't she drink mutton soup at noon?Eating dumplings and drinking mutton soup to warm up in winter, how did it become chicken soup?
"I'll rest for a while, you go on your own."

Gu Huaishu didn't explain, so he turned to sleep on his side.

When she woke up late, Gu Huaishu sat lazily in front of the makeup mirror, looking at the comb in her hand.

Comb to the head...

What a full house of descendants...

She only pressed the ivory comb on her temples, but felt someone gently pressing her fingers.

She wanted to pull her fingers back, but the man held down the comb in her hand, preventing her from moving.

Gu Huaixiu twitched a few times, but he still didn't let go. At that moment, the irritability in her heart finally surged up, she twitched resolutely, and abruptly took the ivory comb back from his hand, then got up, leaned back Putting on the dressing table, she looked at him calmly.

It's not that Zhang Tingyu didn't try to redeem him, but what should he say?
Gu Huaixiu and him had completely different ideas, he thought that he didn't want to make her sad, if Shen Qu disappeared, it would be over...

"Shall we talk?"

"...What else is there to talk about?" Gu Huaixiu couldn't help but cry, "For more than ten years, when I was deceived by Shen Chao in Jiangning, I still remember...you went to Suzhou with your escort, and picked you up on the way. After receiving my letter and rushing back, those days were dark. Then you went to Zhang Wangxian, right? She may not say a word to me, but it is impossible for her not to tell you a word. You will know at that time... ...that's when you started lying to me."

Ten years.

Only she was kept in the dark.

It's sad to think about it!
Just a silly woman...

Zhang Wangxian had told Zhang Tingyu about the matter a long time ago, but later Zhang Wangxian covered it up in front of Gu Huaixiu.

There is only one possibility that can explain all this.

Gu Huaixiu was holding an ivory comb in his hand, behind a beautiful carved window, the sun was setting in the west, the slanting light was covered with residual snow, it was indescribably peaceful and beautiful, the world seemed to be quiet.

"You not only lied to me, but also colluded with Zhang Wangxian to lie to me. Otherwise, how could the so-called Aunt Xian have acted for so long? Zhang Tingyu, a person like you can really bear it...in vain I always thought that I know you very well , but it was still not enough.”

Everything she said was true.

It really started from that time, just pretending to be okay.

Zhang Tingyu was speechless, and it took a long time before he stretched out his hand to pull her: "Huaixiu, I know I'm wrong, but I just don't want you to be frightened..."

"Don't want me to be scared?"

They had been fighting coldly for a long time, and Gu Huaishu didn't want to say a word, but now hearing Zhang Tingyu's answer, he almost sneered.

"We have been married for more than [-] years, Mr. Zhang... I have always believed in you. When I married my brother's left-handed person, I never doubted it. It was just a coincidence. But Brother Ai told me After seeing your reaction at that time, I started to doubt, but when I asked you, what did you say? Who do you think I can trust in this world? When you answered me, I chose to believe you..."

But what?
She just looked at him like this, with wet eyes: "I believe you, because of the relationship between husband and wife for more than 20 years, I have come here through ups and downs, I believe you, I believe you will not lie to me. But what did you Zhang Tingyu give me? I give you my whole heart, what about you?!"

After holding back the tears for many days, they fell like this, Gu Huaishu really felt that he was cowardly and pathetic!
She gritted her teeth and looked at him, as if looking at some kind of enemy.

Sadness like never before!

Zhang Tingyu stood stiffly in front of her, trying to hold her hand: "Huaixiu... I just... Even if I told you at that time, it was already too late..."

He wanted to explain his purpose at that time, but after all, it became darker and darker.

Gu Huaishu laughed out loud: "It's late? You haven't even tried hard, how dare you say it's late? When he was sick, I wasn't by his side; when he was struggling, I didn't know; he was fighting with Lord Hades , I am rafting... Are you happy? Do you think I am living a happy life? I enjoy my glory and wealth with peace of mind, watching people who have no blood relationship with him busy with his life and death!"

Now think about the scene in the Sunflower Garden back then, when Shen Chao scolded her, "It's not your son, of course you can calm down", it was so heartbreaking...

"You all think that you are heaven and earth, and you are afraid that I will get hurt... What about now? Lies will always be exposed one day. Now do you think I am happy or sad?"

From the beginning to the end, Zhang Tingyu couldn't say a word.

Because the moment the lie was shattered, he was completely passive.

He still remembered that when Zhang Wangxian finished all that, he said to Zhang Wangxian after a while: You forgot about this.

What was Zhang Wangxian's expression at that time?
Look at him as if you were looking at a stranger.

Back then when Zhang Wangxian came out of the pavilion, she was close to her eldest brother. Maybe she didn't know that her second brother was such a person, right?
but……

If Zhang Tingyu were to choose again, maybe the same result would still be the same.

He is the same person as Gu Huaishu, and he will be wrong to the end.

"If you tell me, how do you know it must be a dead end? You tell me, I have 1 ways to save him! So what if God doesn't reward him with life? At least I can stay with him, watch him, and know that he... ...As long as he is still alive... How could I have conceived him back then? If it wasn't because there was a child in my stomach, do you think I would have survived until the people from the Cao Gang came to rescue me!"

In the thatched hut in the reeds by the river, she faces only an old fisherwoman every day, and tells herself that she must live for her child...

Don't cry, don't be angry, read the Four Books and Five Classics when you have time, no matter whether the child is male or female, she likes it...

"Shen Chiu did all the things that harmed the morality of the world, and it is true that he will not die well; you and I, the ups and downs of half our lives, is it not the tricks? What is the end... Now that the brothers and sisters are separated, the family is in trouble... "

As she spoke, she even laughed.

"I'm far from being as fragile as you think..."

Gu Huaishu had never been so sincere before, she stared at Zhang Tingyu and confessed herself.

"I am a sinister and despicable villain, a weed in the water and a weed in the wind. If you give me a little hope, I can hold on tightly and never let go... But don't lie to me that there is no chance of saving. I am not indecisive, I am I have to force myself to get out of the sadness faster, leaving too little sadness and frustration for that child, I don't have time to be sad!"

She has always been more ruthless than anyone in matters that cannot be saved.

This is also the root of her pain now.

Because I didn't leave room for my feelings at the beginning, how decisive and neat I was at the beginning, how deep and painful it is now!
"It's all right now, I have a lot of time... to spend the rest of my life in guilt..."

Karma, bad cycle.

Gu Huaishu suddenly remembered the old monk who ordered Shen to be ordered back then, saying that he would have a short life...

Shen Qu's biological father is Zhang Tingyu, his adoptive father is not a good person, and neither is Zhang Tingyu.

Take her child away without saying a word...

Shen Chi...

Ah.

Perhaps she was the most complicated to Shen Chao, a thief and a rescuer, with Shen Qi in the middle.

A bad game of chess.

What should be said today, what should not be said, Gu Huaixiu has said, and it seems to be a lot easier.She felt that she could talk to Shen Qi, and maybe there would be a new way out.

Zhang Tingyu remained speechless, he had never heard so many words from Gu Huaishu...

Even if he knew her well, it was not so thorough.

"Huaixiu, I never deny that I was wrong again, but you can't erase everything because of my fault..."

"Yes, you are not the culprit, you are just an accomplice."

Gu Huaishu let him hold her hand, but she was indifferent?up,
"Arrogance and self-righteousness, a culprit, an accomplice... Because of his background and current status, Shen Chao will not be rewarded early; you have done such things, don't expect to spend the rest of your life in peace Now, even if Shen Che comes back one day, you are not worthy to be his father."

After finishing speaking, Gu Huaishu's eyes suddenly softened.

She calmed down a lot: "I have heard a saying that the reason why women think men are their heroes is because women's world is too small and the world is too small. My world is too small, only you, child, even There are corner and corner calculations, but they are no match for the years in the deep house. My world is too small, and my heart is not big enough, let alone strong enough. My ambition, Gu San, is no match for your Zhang Tingyu, so the person who was injured today is I."

With a slight smile, Gu Huaishu stood up straight, and put the ivory comb in Zhang Tingyu's hand, "Come and comb my hair."

At that moment, Zhang Tingyu suddenly understood something.

His hands trembled a bit, but he still combed her hair after all, and with his fingers flicking lightly, he found that the white hairs mixed with the black hair of Gu Huaixiu's sleeves were all between his fingertips.

For some reason, she suddenly remembered that when she entered the door, the red candle was flickering, her cheeks were glowing, her hair was like a waterfall, and she was also beautiful.

They will not be separated, and will continue to walk, but something is different.

They still love each other, but they are old.

Gu Huaishu slightly closed his eyes, touched his heart with his fingertips, looked at the person in the mirror, and the eyes of the person in the mirror.

In a daze, the sleeve sister 23 years ago just looked at her indifferently.

Time flies, and the time flies by.

The morning is like blue silk and the evening is snow, but it seems to be still yesterday in a daze.

Her world is still too small.

(End of this chapter)