The artistic rebirth of engineering women

Chapter 54
You deserve the best in this world.

Such warm words, Yue Wenjing has lived for two lives, but he has never heard of it.

Therefore, the voice came to her ears, even in her bewildered state, after understanding the meaning of this sentence, she was stunned as if struck by lightning.

Consciousness returned, and thoughts gradually became clear.

At this time, she finally discovered that since her rebirth, she seemed to have a smooth journey, and she also had a prophetic spirit of giving advice and book business.

But subconsciously, the anxiety brought about by the previous life still dominates her thoughts, making her unconsciously speculate about everyone.Especially after that car accident, the unchangeable fate has been rooted in her mind.This kind of feeling will not appear easily, only when her mood fluctuates greatly, all kinds of negative emotions will occupy her heart, affect her thinking, and make her doubt everything.

In other words, it was she who was tired by the experience of her previous life.

In fact, at the root of it, she was considered smooth sailing in her previous life, at least from the perspective of outsiders.She asked herself that she was not treated lightly by her family. Although her father did not occupy a long time in her childhood life, the love from her mother and grandparents should be enough to make up for it.Although the family conditions are not rich, she has never been short on food and clothing.The academic performance is good, but it is not difficult to learn. Compared with the achievements I have made, the rewards can be regarded as overvalued.Such conditions will not cause any indelible trauma to her heart.

Why?she asked herself repeatedly.

Perhaps, the time when the change occurred was her college years?
Because I and my family have always believed that I am a material for studying science, I have never had the slightest hesitation in choosing a major, and all the reports are science, engineering, and medicine.In the end, she was admitted to Tanzhou Provincial University of Technology as she wished, and she was still studying key subjects in its famous medical school.However, the rebellious factor hidden in her heart has been around since the first year she entered the university.She began to be late, ask for leave, and skip classes as she wanted, making herself very decadent.

The awakening of her blood makes her obsessed with the inheritance of her country's culture, and her collision with the teacher's thoughts becomes more intense.This kind of reality made her, who never makes a decision lightly until the fork, began to look for a way out after graduation from the first semester of her sophomore year.

Initially, she chose the direction of Natural Medicinal Chemistry in Pharmacy.She thought very well, and she hoped to prove the value of Chinese medicine with her meager knowledge of Western medicine.She also understands that she can't accomplish such a career even if she tries her best, and she is not depressed.At that time, what she thought was a familiar saying: "The predecessors planted trees, and the descendants took advantage of the shade." She was also gratified to be one of the founders.

After the junior professional course was offered, she found that her thinking was simply wrong.Because she couldn't even memorize the basic knowledge required by natural medicinal chemistry.It's not that she doesn't work hard, she also made up her mind to attend classes and learn something real, but she really couldn't learn it.The most intuitive performance is that she has already expelled all distracting things from her schoolbag, and she has also adjusted her mentality and must listen to the class carefully. Moreover, the teacher is also her favorite and agrees with the value of Chinese medicine.However, in the middle of hearing, even though there was nothing that could stop her from listening to the class, she still had a way to lose her mind.

It wasn't until then that she realized that perhaps she really wasn't suitable for learning this.

She always stubbornly thought that she could learn well.Just like in high school, she thought her chemistry was good, and the teacher at that time was also the best one in her memory.However, when it comes to the exam, she always feels that what is on the test paper is different from what she has mastered.It's just that she refused to admit it at that time, and only thought that she was actually pretty good in chemistry, but she couldn't pass the test.After she finally recognized the reality, she made a deep analysis of herself and realized that in this respect, she is not a person who is good at probing deeply. ", but the reality is always merciless.In a word, that is, do not ask for a deep understanding.

Yes, she has always been very sensitive to the humanities. When she tosses and turns, what is in her mind is not the chemical equations, physical formulas, and mathematical theorems she always thought she liked, but the meaning of life, emotion, and life. .Because my father is good at practical science, but he didn't engage in related industries in the end, I deeply regret that my mother has delicate emotions but has always been criticized by my father.Therefore, he took it for granted that if his daughter got good grades, she should be as good at science as he was.

When she realized that she was not suitable for such a subject in her junior year, she once interrupted her father who was planning for her future to himself, and asked him if he thought maybe she would not continue to study this major.My father asked her why, and she jokingly said what if I can't continue studying?But his father suddenly became strict: "If you can't continue studying, it means you haven't worked hard enough."

In that generation, there are always some people who are determined to conquer the sky, thinking that as long as you work hard, there is nothing you can't do.

This may not be wrong, but it does not apply to her.Because, this effort is conditional.However, she was subconsciously avoiding the result of this effort.The farther you go on this road, the further you will get away from her.The result of this effort is not what she wants, so all her efforts will be reserved.

Although everyone's end point is different, it doesn't matter if you lose at the starting line.But what if she collapsed before starting the race?

In the last two years of college, no one can explain the struggle she experienced, and no one can explain it. She can only talk quietly with her Guqin in the corner.That's why it seemed so inseparable from her life.

She has gone through untold hardships and finally has her own dream.However, it was too late.Carrying the expectations of her family, she can only walk alone on the road that completely deviates from her dream.It's not that she can't ask for it. Before she tried her best, she was told that she was not qualified to fight for it.Can't ask, so there is no possibility from now on.

At that time, the originally gentle mother had already become calculating and mean-spirited.In the frequent class reunions, she saw that her classmates had better material conditions than herself, and she also became a philistine.Even if she doesn't want to use such words to describe her mother, she still has to.Time and time again, I accidentally mentioned which classmate’s child was still in college, and how much money he earned by taking a few students, and bought gifts for his parents. The inside and outside words revealed that she didn’t go out after college. I work part-time to earn money, and my living expenses depend on my family.

Over time, her heart also became sensitive.

Yes, this is the root cause of her anxiety.Today's reality was too good to be true for her.The slightest turmoil, like a frightened bird, reveals the fear in his heart without a doubt.

Even if I have already figured it out, I have already convinced myself that the things in the subconscious are so easy to change?
Perhaps, in this life, such a shadow cannot be shaken off.

However, for the sake of this rare rebirth, for all the people who have shown kindness to her in this life, and for the sake of her in everything in front of her, even the person who is called love as if life is not an exaggeration, maybe she can Learn to make your heart stronger, not easily shaken by a page that has already been turned.

He took a deep breath, then exhaled it vigorously, and repeated this several times, as if he wanted to expel all the negative things in his chest.

Smiling lightly, she threw herself into the arms of the person in front of her. Before he could react, she wrapped her arms around his body, tightly grasped the clothes behind him, rested her head on his shoulder, and closed her eyes. , feeling the warm breath on this person.After a few breaths, he approached his ear and said softly, "Thank you!"

Thank you for giving me the courage to overcome myself.

(End of this chapter)