Andrew Lan's Twelve-Color Fairy Tale Series: Pink Fairy Tale Books

Chapter 40 The Happy Wife
Once upon a time, there were three houses built side by side, in which lived a tailor, a carpenter, and a blacksmith respectively.All three men are married, and their wives are good friends.Three wives used to talk about how stupid their husbands were, but who was the stupidest? They had different opinions, and each insisted that his husband was the stupidest.

The three wives went to church every Sunday, always walking and talking, and returning home with a half pint in a roadside pub.At that time half a pint of brandy was threepence, so they offered a penny each.

But brandy was up now, and the tavernkeeper said fourpence for a half pint.

They were very angry, because there were only three of them drinking, and no one wanted to pay that penny more.

On their way home from church that day, they decided to make a bet that whoever had the stupidest husband and whoever made the best fool of his own husband would get a free drink from the next Sunday, while the other two would pay two dollars each. penny.

The next day, the tailor's wife said to her husband, "I have some girlfriends coming to help me with my wool today. We have a lot of work to do and it will be very busy. Our watchdog died and I'm getting bored. Because at night the young men would come and harass the girls, and they wouldn't be able to work. If we had a fierce dog, they wouldn't dare to come."

"Yes," said the husband, "it would be nice to have a dog."

"Good husband, listen to me," said the wife, "you've got to act like a watchdog and scare those people away."

The husband was not very happy, although he always let her.

"Oh, promise me, it will work," said the wife.

So, at night, she had the tailor put on a shaggy overcoat, wrapped a black towel around his head, and tied him by the kennel.

He just stood there and yelled at anyone who passed by his house.The two wives next door knew what was going on and found it amusing.

The next day, the carpenter finished his work and came home happily, but as soon as he walked in, his wife clapped her hands and shouted, "My dear, what's wrong with you? Are you sick?"

The carpenter didn't understand why he was sick. He just felt that he wanted to eat, so he sat down at the table and began to eat.

His wife sat across from him, folded her arms, shook her head, and looked at him anxiously.

"You're getting sicker, my dear," she said. "You're very pale now. You're very sick. I can see it in your face."

At this time, the husband also panicked, thinking that maybe he was really sick.

"My God, really," she said, "you should lie down and rest."

So she helped him to lie down, covered him with all the quilts she could find, and gave him a lot of medicine, and he became more and more ill.

"You're dying," she said. "I'm afraid you're going to die."

"You really think so?" said the carpenter. "I believe you, because I really feel bad."

Presently she said again: "Oh, now I must leave you. Death has come. I must close your eyes." And so she closed his eyes.

The carpenter believed everything his wife said, so now he also believed that he was going to die, so he lay motionless and let her do whatever she wanted.

She called the neighbors, and together they helped carry her husband into the coffin—her husband had made it.But his wife cut holes in the coffin to let him breathe.She fitted him a soft couch in the coffin, covered him with a quilt, and folded his hands on his chest, but she didn't put a flower or a hymn book, but A pint of brandy slipped into his hand.He lay a little while, and drank a little wine, which he drank and drank, thinking it would do him good.Soon, he fell asleep beautifully, dreaming that he was in heaven.

Meanwhile, word had spread throughout the village that the carpenter was dead and would be buried the next day.

Now, it's time to talk about the blacksmith's wife.Her husband had drunk and was sleeping, so she took all his clothes off, painted him as black as coal from head to toe, and let him go on sleeping.

All the funeral attendants arrived at the carpenter's house, and everyone carried the coffin to the church. The blacksmith's wife hurried to wake her husband up.

"Good man," she said, "you lie here? You've slept too long. You know, you've got to go to the funeral!"

The blacksmith was confused; he had no idea what a funeral was.

"It's the funeral of our neighbour, the carpenter," said his wife. "He's going to be buried today. They're all carrying him to church."

"Oh," said the blacksmith, "quickly, and dress me in black."

"What are you talking about!" said his wife. "You're already dressed. You go now."

The blacksmith looked at himself and saw that he was much darker than usual, so he put on his hat and ran out after the mourners.It was almost time to go to the church, and the blacksmith also wanted to act like a good neighbor and carry the coffin.So he ran over with all his strength and shouted: "Hey! Wait, let me lift him!"

People turned around and saw a dark figure running towards them. They thought it was the god of death who had come to catch the carpenter, and quickly dropped the coffin and fled.

The coffin lid popped open, and the carpenter woke up and looked outside.He remembered what happened. He thought he was dead and was going to be buried. He recognized the blacksmith and whispered to the blacksmith: "My good neighbor, if I am not dead, now I see you. If you come to my funeral like that, I'll die laughing too!"

From then on, the carpenter's wife gets a free drink every week because the other two have to admit she's the best at fooling her husband.

(End of this chapter)