deep palace cold girl

Chapter 142

Those forces that have been bought off just want to continue to create chaos!
Sitting quietly at the table, looking at the unusually red face in the bronze mirror, my heart tightened for a while, and I would think of that day when I met Feng Yuanhao in the Beiyuan Palace.

Although I don't know what he did to my body, there must be something wrong. He finally got the chance, so how could he let me go easily? It is too overestimated me.

Since he got angry that day, he has not seen him for a few days. I think he really became angry from embarrassment. He sneered, then smiled, and the curve of his lips was stained with bitterness.

Why should I do this, it only makes my heart more depressed.

I just don't understand how long he will keep me in this place, until now, I don't even have the freedom to let go, just like that, I'm locked in this gorgeous room.

Facing the dark bronze mirror, I turned my head sideways and looked at the neck on the right side. The pinholes there were still clear and bruised, which was left by Feng Yuanhao on my body that day.

It's just that I don't know what the wound was for, poisoned?Or cast a spell?I'm getting more and more curious.

Staring blankly at his own face, this face is still the same. Three years later, he has become more mature and less innocent, and has really grown up completely.

It's just why is there a faint sadness between the eyebrows and eyes?The beauty is unlucky, I don't want to live too long, I just want it to be less painful!
Picked some water-red rouge with a thin jade hairpin, melted it with the water in the cup, lightly patted it on his gradually pale face, and then dabbed the crimson rouge on the pale lips, gently smudged it , only a thin layer, transparent and moist.

In the past few days, the pinhole in the neck has been throbbing from time to time, as if like a worm, trying to get into my bones and blood, desperately swimming towards the lower body, the lower abdomen became more and more uncomfortable.

Can't go out, what else can I do?One cage, another cage, hehe, it doesn't really matter if it's a canary or a prisoner.

Get up and walk towards the desk, this is his room, the desk is full of books he loves to read, and there are a few unfinished portraits.

That woman is very similar to me, I can think affectionately, does he have me in his heart?But why not be the only one?Am I asking too much?

He has me in his heart, but he has more worlds and concubines.I am not the only...

Am I asking too much for such a request?
Staring at the rice paper on the desk motionlessly, grinding the inkstone quietly, slowly picking up the pen, writing stroke by stroke with care, it seems that I am not satisfied with writing, writing more and more hastily, every time Zhang Zhang's ink blots were thrown from the table.

After a long time, in a panic, he threw away the pen in his hand, and sat down on the chair decadently.He stared blankly at the only piece of rice paper left on the table.

what do i want to writeWhat are you drawing?Who do you write to and who do you draw?So depressing, so lonely, this Nuoda Nuo Pavilion is very boring and uncomfortable.

What I really owned and what I really owned is this life, even that beautiful face does not belong to me.I am always trying to find someone I can rely on. I am not cowardly, but I am too afraid of being lonely.

Although I have a cold nature, I don't want to show my edge, I just want to live in the world, but why are they so aggressive.

Brother Ling once abandoned me, Lianchengzhi once hurt me and imprisoned me, Lianchengxuan wanted to put me to death, Lianchengfu wanted to control me, sister Kikyo from childhood also abandoned me for love, and there are those strangers , Bei Yuanli, Feng Yuanhao, Nie Qingfan, what did I do wrong, and what am I sorry for them?
I want to be free, and not be afraid of even one person, but why do I still get hurt all over my body even if I don't do anything?

Is this fate?This is, fate?
They shouldn't... they shouldn't have done this to me.

Do they really think that they don't understand anything and don't know anything?

Desire for power, the world, love and hatred, life is nothing more than mediocrity, why do you have to kill me?
What I want is so simple, but why, no one can give it to me?
Nie Qingfan, why do you want to impose your own happiness and wishes on me?

I hate and I hate, why make myself like a puppet and let others manipulate me?When will such days be the end?When can I really lie down and sleep with peace of mind?Do you feel that your heart is warm?

I didn't want to entangle with them more, tit for tat, but why...

But they are unwilling to give up their lives to such a humble and cowardly person?Is this retribution?Is this the retribution for beauty?Is this retribution?
Can I pray to God to take back this damn beauty, and give me back my parents, my relatives, and my happiness?

But, even if it is retribution, it shouldn't be like this!I have never had the intention of harming others by nature, I just want to protect myself, I just want to live freely, not to be a chess piece, not to be a puppet.

If there is retribution in this world, why should it be retribution on such an innocent person?

Tears wet my clothes, and the resentment in my heart is deeper than the sea.I prayed to gods and worshiped Buddha in this life, but I couldn't get what I wanted. I lost my heart, but what could I get?
The door of the warm pavilion was gently pushed open, and my body, which was sitting in a chair, froze slightly, and then regained my weakness.

Lian Chengzhi glanced at the bed, but couldn't see me, so he looked around anxiously, and saw me by the chair near the window.

Numb, pale smiled, and smiled at him.

His dark eyes flickered, and he walked towards me softly, cautiously, as if he was afraid of startling me.Does he love me?Do you have me in your heart?

I know that I should hate him, I have sacrificed so much for him, I should hate him.

But, I'm tired, I don't want to hate, but, does he love me?Looking at him helplessly, his eyes were already filled with tears, curling up helplessly like a kitten abandoned by the whole world.

He walked up to me, squatted down slowly, and held my somewhat cold hand. He couldn't cover it no matter what. With the pain in his neck, his whole body became cold.

(End of this chapter)