Pain is the best teacher of youth

Chapter 19 Cherish the affection of parents and leave no regrets (2)
Now, I have been in the beautiful ivory tower for two years, enjoying the wonderful university time.Because it is far away from home, in order to save money, I have never been back during the holidays, nor have I met my parents.Every time I call home, I ask for living expenses, and there are almost no other greetings.Occasionally, when my parents called, I was perfunctory, claiming that I was busy, and hung up in a hurry.As for their health and life, as a son, I have never cared about them.

I wasn't born this way, but there was always a knot in my heart that couldn't be untied: I hated my father.

I was born in a poor mountain village, my parents are both out-and-out farmers, and my family has more than ten mu of land.Both parents are now over half a hundred years old, and their health is not very good.There are three brothers in my family. The elder brother went out to work after finishing middle school; the younger brother was born with a disability, blind in one eye, and is now a high school student in the county seat.A poor family with three sons is destined not to be too harmonious.

Father is the only child in the family, with five older sisters and one younger sister.Under the shackles of patriarchy, his father was doted on by his grandparents as a treasure since he was a child, and his aunts would let him go.Although he is a boy, his father has hardly done any housework since he was a child. He has always stretched out his hands for clothes and opened his mouth for food, and his aunts have done all the farm work for him.

However, people always have to grow up, and life always depends on themselves.When the aunts reached the marriageable age, they got married one after another.Soon after my father got married, my grandparents also passed away.The heavy burden of the family fell on my father's shoulders as it should be, but he did not have the ability to live independently and support the family. He even had to rely on my mother for farming.

My mother is a hard-working rural woman who saves money on food and expenses, endures hardships and stands hard work, completely different from her father.After marrying my father, the two of us can live on just enough, but after we have three brothers, the family's situation is getting worse day by day.Although there is relief from the state and support from relatives and friends, the emergency cannot save the poor.There are three brothers, plus a father who doesn't know how to do housework and farm work. One can imagine how much hard work and bitterness the single and weak mother has to put in.

I thought that my father would support the family and gradually learn to do housework, farm work, and work outside to make a living.But I was wrong!Our father became a lazy man who smoked, drank, gambled, and cared nothing about his wife and children. He didn't look like a man at all.

I can't figure it out: what qualifications and rights does he have?Why not take on the responsibilities of a husband and father?People around him advised him to go out to work, but he just pretended that he couldn't hear it, and it was too tiring to talk about it, and he couldn't make much money.Every time at this time, the mother would say: "How much is money! It's better than not having a penny at home!" The father didn't like to hear it, saying that his mother hated him and wanted to drive him out of the house. He fisted at his mother.The mother had to cry aside, lamenting the suffering of the three of us brothers.

I hated my father, and it's been ingrained in me for as long as I can remember.I hate him for being lazy, for neglecting his family, and for beating my mother.Of course, he also beat the three of us brothers, and he never cared about our studies and life, and we basically didn't talk to our father very much.That's why I desperately want to leave the house and never want to come back.

I clearly remember that during the Lantern Festival in my third year of high school, my father and I fought.

On that day, every family in the village set off firecrackers to celebrate the fifteenth day of the first lunar month.Mother cooked the meal early in the morning and called us to eat one by one.The three of us brothers got up, but my father was still lying on the bed. We took turns to call him, but he said that he was sick and didn't want to eat.After that, he hummed on the bed, showing an uncomfortable look.In fact, I know that he played mahjong all night the night before. Seeing him moaning without illness, I feel very uncomfortable.

After eating, I said to my father: "If you feel uncomfortable, go to the clinic!" Unexpectedly, he said coldly: "The four of you are a family, and it has nothing to do with me. It is just right for me to die. " I knew, he started to make trouble again, so he didn't say anything.

After ten o'clock, he got up and asked my mother to cook for him, saying that he was hungry.The mother was very wronged. After working for a long time in the morning, he made a table of dishes, but he didn't get up to eat.Now, let him do it again, isn't this deliberately torturing people?His mother was making Lantern Festival, so she didn't have time to cook for him alone. Besides, there was still a lot of food in the morning, so he just wanted to heat it up, but he just refused to do it himself.In order to avoid quarrels, the mother had to swallow her anger and stop what she was doing to cook for him.After eating, the father pushed the dishes and chopsticks, and instructed the mother to wash the dishes.

I couldn't control my anger anymore, put down what I was doing, and shouted at my father: "Why do you treat my mother like this? Didn't you see that she was busy? Don't you know how to wash the dishes yourself?" Seeing that I was in a hurry, my father shouted loudly: "What do you want to do? Your wings are stiff, aren't you?"

Seeing this, my mother quickly came over and pulled me away, and then said kind words to my father: "Father, don't be angry, the second child is not sensible, don't be as sensible as a child." Then I cursed a few times.I was already very angry, but I couldn't suppress my anger when I heard him scold me like this. I said, "What are you capable of? You are lazy and don't do anything! Do you want to exhaust my mother to death?" My father yelled, "Get out! You all want to kill me." I was about to go crazy, and in a fit of anger, I raised my fist and punched my father in the face...

After punching me down, I didn't regret it, and even yelled at my father.There was such a big commotion at home that all the neighbors rushed over, nominally to persuade the fight, but in fact, many people were just watching a joke.

That night, my mother said to me: "Second, how can you beat your father? No matter what happens, he will always be your father. You can't be an unfilial son! Your father has been spoiled since he was a child, and he can't change it for a while. You have to be more considerate of him. He is not feeling well in his heart now, and he has suffered a lot for our family. Be obedient, hurry up and apologize to your father tomorrow. "

Before I had time to apologize to my father, he went to work in the south.That year, I was also admitted to university and left home.

Now, two years have passed, and I almost never take the initiative to call my father, and every time I ask for money, I just ask my mother.Occasionally, my father called me, and I hung up within 2 minutes of telling him. As for the apology, I never said it.But in my mind, some past events at home have been reappearing, and I feel sad every time I think about it.

I remember that in the second year of high school, it snowed heavily in the south.I didn’t bring a cotton-padded jacket when I lived in school. My father braved the heavy snow and walked more than 100 miles to give me a cotton-padded jacket;Although my father had never worked outside the home before, he was also trying to do some small business, selling popsicles, collecting cotton, etc.After going to college, I heard from my mother that my father quit smoking and drinking in order to save money, and often picked up junk.My father has been working outside for two years, and he often calls home to ask me about my situation, whether I am eating well, whether I have enough money...

Thinking back to the scene of arguing with my father that day, the hatred in my heart was gone, replaced by a kind of sadness.Maybe, at that time, I was really too young and ignorant.Even though my father was wrong in every possible way, I was still wrong when I beat the person who gave me life.Over the years, although he has never expressed concern for me, he has also paid a lot.

I regret it now.In the past, I didn't understand or understand my father. If I could go back to the Lantern Festival that year, I would definitely not quarrel with my father, let alone beat him.Perhaps this incident is the biggest mistake I have made in 20 years.What I can do now is to reflect on myself and treat my parents well.

In a month, it will be Father's Day.Maybe my father doesn't know that there is such a festival in the world, but no matter what, I have decided to call him on that day and say: "Dad, I was wrong in the past! Please forgive me."

I always ask you for it, but never say thank you.It wasn't until I grew up that I realized that it was not easy for you. / Chopsticks Brothers "Dad"

Thank you for giving me the greatest trust
When I was 17, I was a sophomore in high school.After the final exam, I went home full of joy and wanted to tell my parents the good news that I was in the top ten of my grade.But I never thought that my home, which had always been peaceful, would collapse on that day.I was not mentally prepared, but I had to face the fact that my parents were divorced.

For the whole holiday, I didn't go out, and I didn't have the heart to read, so I spent all day on the Internet.Maybe it's because my wounded heart needs so much comfort. I met Zhou Yong, a 25-year-old boy from Wuhan.Like a mentor, he helps me sort out my emotions; like a brother, he cares about my situation; like a boyfriend, he occasionally teases me.I am used to the days with him and regard him as a part of my life.I know, I can't help but fall into online dating.

After school started, I couldn't hang on the Internet every day, so I had to use the most old-fashioned way to contact Zhou Yong-writing letters.Frankly speaking, I enjoyed this process very much. I put all my emotions on paper and put them in the mailbox, and then I began to wait imaginatively.For a while, letters were often lost in school. In order to avoid such accidents, I told Zhou Yong my home address and phone number.My mother is usually responsible for the mailbox at home, but I trust my mother very much, she will not open my letters without permission.

During the Qingming holiday, I lied to my mother that I wanted to go out with my classmates to relax. In fact, I went to Wuhan quietly to meet Zhou Yong.After more than two days of getting along, my feelings for Zhou Yong became more uncontrollable, which directly affected my academic performance.Regarding these changes in me, my mother has actually noticed them a long time ago. I thought I hid them well, but in fact she knew everything.

During those days, my best friend Sun Qian was in love with a certain boy in the class, and my parents found out. They beat and scolded Sun Qian, and the teacher also ridiculed her in class.Sun Qian, whose self-esteem was seriously injured, couldn't bear such a blow, felt that she had no face to stay in school, and ran away from home in anger.

It is said that Sun Qian's secret was discovered because her parents peeked at a letter written to her by a certain boy.With such a lesson learned from the past, I was even more frightened. Every time I received a letter from my mother, I was terrified, for fear that my mother would question me.However, every time my mother handed me the letter, it was intact, and she also had a peaceful face.

I tentatively chatted with my mother about the topic of puppy love, especially about Sun Qian, and wanted to see my mother's reaction.After hearing this, my mother asked me, "Do you think it's right for her to do this?"

I said frankly: "She did this, which made her parents anxious. However, the temptation of first love is not easy to resist. Even if it is completely let go, it will take a buffer time. The impatient and decisive parents and the teacher's ruthlessness also made her It's embarrassing. If it were me, I might not be able to accept it."

My mother smiled and said, "My daughter is still sensible. Sun Qian's parents are a little impulsive, and it is not appropriate for the teacher to do so. However, there are still many side effects to the puppy love, otherwise the parents and teachers would not be so anxious. Don’t you think so?” I nodded, feeling a surge of fear in my heart, afraid that my mother would point the finger at me.However, my mother then only analyzed the harm of puppy love for me, and gave me many examples, and let me read books on this topic.

When listening to my mother say these words, I have a faint sense of guilt.In the past few months, I have clearly felt the decline in my grades, but I just couldn't bear to give up this feeling for a while.

The next day, my father suddenly called and quarreled with my mother after talking for a while.I don't know where he learned about my decline in studies, and vaguely heard about my puppy love, so he called my mother angrily, saying that she was too indulgent and lacked discipline.The mother didn't yell hysterically, she just said: "Liu Wei is a sensible child, I can trust her. You are her father, so don't doubt your daughter by hearsay, don't think of her so badly."

Mom's voice was very low, but I still heard everything.My heart was shocked, and I suddenly felt a little sorry for my mother: Mom, you believed in me so much, but I failed you!It's all my fault.Maybe, I really need to think about it.

Later, my mother got sudden pancreatitis and was taken to the hospital by 120.When I arrived at the hospital, I saw my thin mother lying on the hospital bed with a haggard look on her face.I couldn't help but shed tears, and I held my mother's hand and asked, "Mom, are you still uncomfortable?" My mother shook her head, squeezed out a smile, and said, "It's okay, don't worry!" After a moment of silence, My mother suddenly talked to me about my puppy love: "...Mom was young and understands your feelings, but I really hope you don't distract yourself prematurely because of this. You are still young. When you grow up, contact With more people, there will be better choices. Of course, mother believes that you will handle this relationship well."

A gentle and calm maternal love, containing understanding and trust, awakened my once intoxicated reason.I sent Zhou Yong an e-mail, told all this, and decided to break up with him.Afterwards, I canceled that mailbox and asked my mother to change my home phone number.

I was in my senior year of high school when I made these decisions.Because of the divorce of my parents and the impact of that period of online dating, I was physically and mentally exhausted, and I failed the final college entrance examination.I had expected that there might be such an ending, but I did not give up, I chose to repeat.In the second year, I was admitted to my ideal university as I wished.

On the day I got the university admission letter, I also received a stack of letters, which were handed over to me by my mother, all sent by Zhou Yong.The letters were arranged in chronological order, and none of them showed signs of being opened.Mom smiled and said, "Liu Wei, I believe you can handle them well."

At that moment, I burst into tears.

How alike mothers all over the world are!Their hearts are always the same, they all have a very pure and innocent heart. /American Poet Walt Whitman

broken heart, deep love

Gorky said: "Father's love is a great book that shocks the soul. If you understand it, you will also understand the whole life!" Man is a father, and this kind of love is fatherly love.

From the day he was born, he was destined to have a different life.

A pale little face with light blue eyebrows, this look really frightened everyone present.Relatives and friends persuaded his parents to give him away, saying it was unlucky, but his parents insisted on refusing, thinking that this was his own flesh and blood, and vowed to love and take care of him for the rest of his life.

After a series of examinations, the parents learned the bad news from the doctor: he had tetralogy of Fallot, a type of congenital heart disease.This disease is currently the most complicated and dangerous disease in the world, and it is a terrible disease that may stop breathing and heartbeat at any time.

From then on, the long road to seek medical treatment began.

His parents took him with a catheter in his nose and traveled all over the country to major hospitals.All the things that could be sold at home were sold, and I just hoped for a miracle.When he was young, he once asked his mother: "Why do I always have a tube inserted into my nose?" His mother touched his head and said, "You have a strange cold, and you will recover soon with the tube inserted."

He believed his mother's words.However, this strange "cold" lasted until he was in elementary school, and it still didn't get better.That being the case, his father chose to send him to school.Every time he passes by the school, his eyes will show a look of longing, there are friends and story books there.Most importantly, there are no doctors in white coats all day long, and there is no smell of Lysol in the hospital.

(End of this chapter)