The enchanting concubine of medicine: entangled with the black-bellied prince
Chapter 210 Masochistic Tendencies
Chapter 210 Masochistic Tendencies
Nangong Mo's memory is getting worse and worse, he can't even remember Qin Lian's name, only Queen Queen's call her.
Later, he kept asking her which palace you were from, because he regarded her as a palace lady, but he still went to her palace on time every day.
After I came, I didn't say anything, just sat on the threshold and looked at the blue sky.
Sometimes I would ask Qin Lian, where is your empress in the palace?
Qin Lian replied that there is no empress in this palace.
Then he would leave in disappointment. About half a month later, when the early spring came, the spring was bright and beautiful, and he never saw Nangong Mo coming over.
Only then did Qin Lian remember that it was winter when she pretended to be dead and left.
Maybe Nangong Mo still remembered something sporadically, but when her life ended in the past, Nangong Mo completely forgot about it. When a person dies, everything is gone. If he has no sustenance, he will never come again.
Qin Lian sat at the position where Nangong Mo looked up at the sky, and sighed softly. For no reason, a sense of loss welled up in her heart.
She was a little bit reluctant to leave this time.
Maybe it's because I feel ashamed.
Tomorrow is the day to leave, Bai Leng wants to go with them, Lian Mo said that the acquaintance he met was him, Qin Lian didn't know when Lian Mo met a cook, but he seemed to have extra trust in Bai Leng.
On the surface, Qin Lian didn't question Lian Mo's cognition, but secretly went to find Bai Leng, only to find out that he was actually Mo Ziyan.
The human skin mask he was wearing was given to him by Lianmo before he went to Mount Helian, and asked him to protect Qin Lian, but he failed in his duty.
After searching for a long time, he managed to sneak into Beiyan's high society as Bai Leng, and hooked up with Nangong Mo, so he was able to get close to Qin Lian.
At that time, he complained to Qin Lian about how difficult it was for him, and he almost deceived Qin Lian by the bitterness and hatred he said.
But what does he do, Qin Lian has not forgotten, he is a storyteller, so how can he be trusted.
And no matter how he got here, the process is not important, what matters is the result. It is a great joy that she can leave without any obstacles tomorrow.
But what Qin Lian didn't expect was that Nangong Mo suddenly came again. In the middle of the night, he sat alone on the threshold, looking at the hazy moon and sighing.
Qin Lian got up to urinate, and was almost scared to death. She thought it was some cold ghost, but when she saw the lonely shadow on the ground, she calmed down again in an instant.
He spotted her and beckoned her to come over.
Qin Lian was 1 unwilling, but when he thought that today was the last day they would spend together, his heart softened and he walked over.
Anyway, he just asked her which palace she was from, and where did the lady in this palace go, it was nothing serious.
Qin Lian sat down beside him, resting her chin on one hand, and also looked at the moon.
Nangong Mo was silent for a moment, then said abruptly, "You are really a long-term lover."
Qin Lian was puzzled by his nonsensical words. He stared at him blankly, not knowing how to respond.
Immediately afterwards, Nangong Mo lowered his head and said: "I don't remember the queen's appearance anymore, but you have been guarding this palace all the time. I am very moved. At the same time, I feel very heartless."
His self-deprecating tone made Qin Lian's heart stagnate. For a moment, she almost couldn't restrain her urge to throw herself into his arms.
But she finally held back and said dryly: "If the emperor feels sorry, you can let me out of the palace."
She also joked.
Unexpectedly, he actually agreed, "I came tonight for exactly this purpose. The Queen is no longer here, so there is no need for a living person to stand guard here and waste his life."
He personally agreed to let her go. This and her going by herself are two different concepts.
Qin Lian's heart ached, and she was so sad that she wanted to cry.
She doesn't know what it feels like to forget someone, but it is really uncomfortable to be forgotten by others.
At any rate, after getting acquainted and loving each other, even ordinary friends would think of her from time to time, but he completely forgot about her, treated her as an outsider, and said some irrelevant things.
Qin Lian covered her face, her face was obviously dry, but she felt that she was crying, and the tears were like rain.
"Are you sad?" he asked inquiringly.
"It's tears of joy." Qin Lian chuckled.
"That's good, I know, you are the Queen's confidant, and you are reluctant to part with her. If I keep you by force, it will be too selfish. I believe that the Queen will know, and she will not forgive me." Nangong Mo said long and hard. He let out a sigh of relief, a feeling of relief.
What he said was clear but harsh, which made Qin Lian even more uncomfortable.
She has already made up her mind to leave, she should be the same as last time, and don't worry so much in her heart.
But why should there be an inseparable feeling?
She can no longer get along with him.
Qin Lian got up abruptly, and walked into the hall without looking back. No matter how Nangong Mo shouted, her back was still determined.
And he didn't follow through.
Why did he need to follow in? In his heart, Qin Lian was already dead.
To let her go, it means that he has let go, since he is no longer nostalgic, then why should she be persistent.
Qin Lian had a sleepless night, sitting on the bed with her knees in her arms, in a daze. Early in the morning, Lianmo came, carrying a small orange bag, dressed in a miniature version of Shenyan, and the little black cloak was embroidered with gold silk embroidery , looks quite upscale.
But Qin Lian wanted to say that they were going to live in seclusion, not a beauty pageant, and if they were targeted by thieves along the way, they would suffer a lot.
But she still held back after all. This time, her departure was a farewell to everyone. Lian Mo not only regarded Nangong Mo as an idol since she was a child, but also Shen Yan.
Nangong Mo is far away, and Shenyan is close at hand. Sometimes people will regard them as father and son.
But after he and Nangong Mo performed this scene together, she never said a word to him again.
Because she already wanted to be a stranger to him from the bottom of her heart.
And she doesn't need his understanding and guilt, because he will never be able to understand the feeling she felt when she thought she was betrayed, the feeling of wanting to die.
"Mo'er, when are we going to leave?" Unpleasant memories came flooding back, and she immediately changed the subject, because she didn't want to punish herself with other people's mistakes.
"Mo Ziyan said he would pick us up at night." Lianmo turned around and said excitedly, "Mother, do you think my clothes look good? Uncle Shenyan gave them to me."
It was the first time Qin Lian had heard of this kid being called Uncle Shenyan, so he must be courteous for nothing.
Qin Lian turned aside and said, "If you want to take someone else away, then I'll go by myself." She didn't even want to mention the name of the person, how could she get along with him day and night.
Lian Mo shook Qin Lian's hand, coquettishly: "Mother, mother, just let him go with us!"
Qin Lian peeled off Lian Mo's hand, "Anything can be discussed, but this is the only thing that cannot be discussed." After finishing speaking, she turned into the room and slammed the door heavily to show her displeasure.
Lian Mo didn't dare to follow in, she pulled the rope on the cloak, put the cloak on her elbows, and walked out of the palace gate dejectedly.
Sometimes he thought, if he wasn't her own son, he probably wouldn't have taken him away.
The more he thought about it, the more uncomfortable Lian Mo became. At the beginning Zhang Fu said that he should let her mother know about it, but Shen Yan refused to let her go. Now it's better, her mother is almost forced by them to become a person who will not be recognized by her relatives.
Qin Lian poked her head out of the window, looking at Lian Mo's lost back, with mixed emotions in her heart.
The reason why she avoided seeing him was because she was afraid that he would soften her heart. At this critical moment, she couldn't let herself make mistakes.
Shen Yan is someone who can never be trusted. What if he is here to make trouble and prevent him from leaving Nangong Mo?
Obviously, he has lived in Beiyan for a long time, and he has already become a person here, right?That's why he conspired with Nangong Mo, and he didn't even let her know about a mosquito leg.
They really went too far this time.
With a heavy sigh, Qin Lian closed the window and sat on the bed thinking wildly again.
She began to think carefully, she hadn't been out for so long, how to get along with people was a big problem.
She was locked in the palace, and she was out of touch with society. Even if she was able to go out a few days ago, the people she came into contact with were all prominent people, which would not help her survive in the arena in the future.
Although she is going to live in seclusion, she cannot avoid contact with people, what should she do?
Therefore, there was a reason why she chose to leave the palace with Mo Ziyan. At least she could learn something from him, a man of the world.
When she is familiar with the way, it will not be too late to kick him again.
It seems that... her illness is getting worse and worse, and she even finds it difficult to get along with others.
So she didn't know what would happen if she stayed here any longer. Lianmo was still young, and she didn't have a trustworthy person around her, so she was worried.
Retirement is the best way for her to treat depression. If she really can't make it through, Lianmo will grow up and be able to support herself by then, so she can leave with peace of mind.
……
She didn't know why she thought of death at all, and when she came back to her senses, she realized that her illness seemed to be happening again.
This reminded her of those modern stars who suffered from depression and retired or died. Those who died ceased to exist, and those who lived, even if they declared that they were cured, did not take any more jobs and appeared in front of the media from time to time. Doing advertising or something, the main business is no longer continued, and the works are getting less and less...
Qin Lian thought, if she is a star, if she wants to be in the entertainment industry in this state, it is better to retire.
So, she quickly thought of the Yuling Peak written by Zhao Yishuang, and she really wanted to see what the small building that made her so fondly remembered was like, why did she leave the good young mistress behind and go back to the mountain forest?
Many questions filled Qin Lian's mind, and she suddenly felt a severe headache, holding her head tightly with both hands, trying to relieve the pain, but found it was useless.
She could only tilt her body, put her head against the cold wall, and moaned softly.Moan.
A headache for no reason made her stop thinking.After a while, she finally calmed down, wishing earnestly for a moment that she could forget everything too.
But she felt that she couldn't do it, because although there were bad things in the past, she didn't want to forget those good things.
This may be a bit self-abuse, but if Nangong Mo is not in her memory, then she has nothing to miss about this world.
Just thinking wildly like this, Qin Lian ushered in the dark, and also ushered in an old friend.
(End of this chapter)
Nangong Mo's memory is getting worse and worse, he can't even remember Qin Lian's name, only Queen Queen's call her.
Later, he kept asking her which palace you were from, because he regarded her as a palace lady, but he still went to her palace on time every day.
After I came, I didn't say anything, just sat on the threshold and looked at the blue sky.
Sometimes I would ask Qin Lian, where is your empress in the palace?
Qin Lian replied that there is no empress in this palace.
Then he would leave in disappointment. About half a month later, when the early spring came, the spring was bright and beautiful, and he never saw Nangong Mo coming over.
Only then did Qin Lian remember that it was winter when she pretended to be dead and left.
Maybe Nangong Mo still remembered something sporadically, but when her life ended in the past, Nangong Mo completely forgot about it. When a person dies, everything is gone. If he has no sustenance, he will never come again.
Qin Lian sat at the position where Nangong Mo looked up at the sky, and sighed softly. For no reason, a sense of loss welled up in her heart.
She was a little bit reluctant to leave this time.
Maybe it's because I feel ashamed.
Tomorrow is the day to leave, Bai Leng wants to go with them, Lian Mo said that the acquaintance he met was him, Qin Lian didn't know when Lian Mo met a cook, but he seemed to have extra trust in Bai Leng.
On the surface, Qin Lian didn't question Lian Mo's cognition, but secretly went to find Bai Leng, only to find out that he was actually Mo Ziyan.
The human skin mask he was wearing was given to him by Lianmo before he went to Mount Helian, and asked him to protect Qin Lian, but he failed in his duty.
After searching for a long time, he managed to sneak into Beiyan's high society as Bai Leng, and hooked up with Nangong Mo, so he was able to get close to Qin Lian.
At that time, he complained to Qin Lian about how difficult it was for him, and he almost deceived Qin Lian by the bitterness and hatred he said.
But what does he do, Qin Lian has not forgotten, he is a storyteller, so how can he be trusted.
And no matter how he got here, the process is not important, what matters is the result. It is a great joy that she can leave without any obstacles tomorrow.
But what Qin Lian didn't expect was that Nangong Mo suddenly came again. In the middle of the night, he sat alone on the threshold, looking at the hazy moon and sighing.
Qin Lian got up to urinate, and was almost scared to death. She thought it was some cold ghost, but when she saw the lonely shadow on the ground, she calmed down again in an instant.
He spotted her and beckoned her to come over.
Qin Lian was 1 unwilling, but when he thought that today was the last day they would spend together, his heart softened and he walked over.
Anyway, he just asked her which palace she was from, and where did the lady in this palace go, it was nothing serious.
Qin Lian sat down beside him, resting her chin on one hand, and also looked at the moon.
Nangong Mo was silent for a moment, then said abruptly, "You are really a long-term lover."
Qin Lian was puzzled by his nonsensical words. He stared at him blankly, not knowing how to respond.
Immediately afterwards, Nangong Mo lowered his head and said: "I don't remember the queen's appearance anymore, but you have been guarding this palace all the time. I am very moved. At the same time, I feel very heartless."
His self-deprecating tone made Qin Lian's heart stagnate. For a moment, she almost couldn't restrain her urge to throw herself into his arms.
But she finally held back and said dryly: "If the emperor feels sorry, you can let me out of the palace."
She also joked.
Unexpectedly, he actually agreed, "I came tonight for exactly this purpose. The Queen is no longer here, so there is no need for a living person to stand guard here and waste his life."
He personally agreed to let her go. This and her going by herself are two different concepts.
Qin Lian's heart ached, and she was so sad that she wanted to cry.
She doesn't know what it feels like to forget someone, but it is really uncomfortable to be forgotten by others.
At any rate, after getting acquainted and loving each other, even ordinary friends would think of her from time to time, but he completely forgot about her, treated her as an outsider, and said some irrelevant things.
Qin Lian covered her face, her face was obviously dry, but she felt that she was crying, and the tears were like rain.
"Are you sad?" he asked inquiringly.
"It's tears of joy." Qin Lian chuckled.
"That's good, I know, you are the Queen's confidant, and you are reluctant to part with her. If I keep you by force, it will be too selfish. I believe that the Queen will know, and she will not forgive me." Nangong Mo said long and hard. He let out a sigh of relief, a feeling of relief.
What he said was clear but harsh, which made Qin Lian even more uncomfortable.
She has already made up her mind to leave, she should be the same as last time, and don't worry so much in her heart.
But why should there be an inseparable feeling?
She can no longer get along with him.
Qin Lian got up abruptly, and walked into the hall without looking back. No matter how Nangong Mo shouted, her back was still determined.
And he didn't follow through.
Why did he need to follow in? In his heart, Qin Lian was already dead.
To let her go, it means that he has let go, since he is no longer nostalgic, then why should she be persistent.
Qin Lian had a sleepless night, sitting on the bed with her knees in her arms, in a daze. Early in the morning, Lianmo came, carrying a small orange bag, dressed in a miniature version of Shenyan, and the little black cloak was embroidered with gold silk embroidery , looks quite upscale.
But Qin Lian wanted to say that they were going to live in seclusion, not a beauty pageant, and if they were targeted by thieves along the way, they would suffer a lot.
But she still held back after all. This time, her departure was a farewell to everyone. Lian Mo not only regarded Nangong Mo as an idol since she was a child, but also Shen Yan.
Nangong Mo is far away, and Shenyan is close at hand. Sometimes people will regard them as father and son.
But after he and Nangong Mo performed this scene together, she never said a word to him again.
Because she already wanted to be a stranger to him from the bottom of her heart.
And she doesn't need his understanding and guilt, because he will never be able to understand the feeling she felt when she thought she was betrayed, the feeling of wanting to die.
"Mo'er, when are we going to leave?" Unpleasant memories came flooding back, and she immediately changed the subject, because she didn't want to punish herself with other people's mistakes.
"Mo Ziyan said he would pick us up at night." Lianmo turned around and said excitedly, "Mother, do you think my clothes look good? Uncle Shenyan gave them to me."
It was the first time Qin Lian had heard of this kid being called Uncle Shenyan, so he must be courteous for nothing.
Qin Lian turned aside and said, "If you want to take someone else away, then I'll go by myself." She didn't even want to mention the name of the person, how could she get along with him day and night.
Lian Mo shook Qin Lian's hand, coquettishly: "Mother, mother, just let him go with us!"
Qin Lian peeled off Lian Mo's hand, "Anything can be discussed, but this is the only thing that cannot be discussed." After finishing speaking, she turned into the room and slammed the door heavily to show her displeasure.
Lian Mo didn't dare to follow in, she pulled the rope on the cloak, put the cloak on her elbows, and walked out of the palace gate dejectedly.
Sometimes he thought, if he wasn't her own son, he probably wouldn't have taken him away.
The more he thought about it, the more uncomfortable Lian Mo became. At the beginning Zhang Fu said that he should let her mother know about it, but Shen Yan refused to let her go. Now it's better, her mother is almost forced by them to become a person who will not be recognized by her relatives.
Qin Lian poked her head out of the window, looking at Lian Mo's lost back, with mixed emotions in her heart.
The reason why she avoided seeing him was because she was afraid that he would soften her heart. At this critical moment, she couldn't let herself make mistakes.
Shen Yan is someone who can never be trusted. What if he is here to make trouble and prevent him from leaving Nangong Mo?
Obviously, he has lived in Beiyan for a long time, and he has already become a person here, right?That's why he conspired with Nangong Mo, and he didn't even let her know about a mosquito leg.
They really went too far this time.
With a heavy sigh, Qin Lian closed the window and sat on the bed thinking wildly again.
She began to think carefully, she hadn't been out for so long, how to get along with people was a big problem.
She was locked in the palace, and she was out of touch with society. Even if she was able to go out a few days ago, the people she came into contact with were all prominent people, which would not help her survive in the arena in the future.
Although she is going to live in seclusion, she cannot avoid contact with people, what should she do?
Therefore, there was a reason why she chose to leave the palace with Mo Ziyan. At least she could learn something from him, a man of the world.
When she is familiar with the way, it will not be too late to kick him again.
It seems that... her illness is getting worse and worse, and she even finds it difficult to get along with others.
So she didn't know what would happen if she stayed here any longer. Lianmo was still young, and she didn't have a trustworthy person around her, so she was worried.
Retirement is the best way for her to treat depression. If she really can't make it through, Lianmo will grow up and be able to support herself by then, so she can leave with peace of mind.
……
She didn't know why she thought of death at all, and when she came back to her senses, she realized that her illness seemed to be happening again.
This reminded her of those modern stars who suffered from depression and retired or died. Those who died ceased to exist, and those who lived, even if they declared that they were cured, did not take any more jobs and appeared in front of the media from time to time. Doing advertising or something, the main business is no longer continued, and the works are getting less and less...
Qin Lian thought, if she is a star, if she wants to be in the entertainment industry in this state, it is better to retire.
So, she quickly thought of the Yuling Peak written by Zhao Yishuang, and she really wanted to see what the small building that made her so fondly remembered was like, why did she leave the good young mistress behind and go back to the mountain forest?
Many questions filled Qin Lian's mind, and she suddenly felt a severe headache, holding her head tightly with both hands, trying to relieve the pain, but found it was useless.
She could only tilt her body, put her head against the cold wall, and moaned softly.Moan.
A headache for no reason made her stop thinking.After a while, she finally calmed down, wishing earnestly for a moment that she could forget everything too.
But she felt that she couldn't do it, because although there were bad things in the past, she didn't want to forget those good things.
This may be a bit self-abuse, but if Nangong Mo is not in her memory, then she has nothing to miss about this world.
Just thinking wildly like this, Qin Lian ushered in the dark, and also ushered in an old friend.
(End of this chapter)
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