Sex and the city

Chapter 18 Southampton's Beauty Hunting Tour (1)
Maybe it's because tanned skin looks more attractive, or maybe it's because sex is always more alluring than fame, even to snobby New Yorkers; The reason, although most of this romance is empty one-night stand or short "fast food" in the morning.Trust me, this isn't going to be of interest to you when you first wake up.

All in all, the Hamptons combine at least these elements: smooth skin (the nude beauty on Mediah Beach), varied terrain (it takes a long time to drive from Southampton to East Hampton, especially at four o'clock in the morning time), and favorable terrain (the hedge is high enough to hide, a good place for wild coop).

But for men, how to use these elements skillfully can be a challenge.Most of the time, youth is not necessarily an advantage.Only experienced men are well aware of the traps and how to get out gracefully; otherwise, the wind will bring disaster.

The following story that happened in Hampton is enough for everyone to learn from it.

Let's meet our players first.Three bachelors come to the Hamptons for the Fourth of July holiday with high hopes.they are:

Contestant No. 25: Skip Johnson, [-], a pre-law, entertainment law major, young talent who plans to one day have his own studio in New York.Beach gear: Mercedes trots, Brooks Brothers suits (“Brooks Brothers suits are made for me!”), and an ever-present phone (a friend complained that he stayed in the I made a phone call for more than two hours in the parking lot by the sea, just for a business). "Going to the beach is a waste of time," Skip said, "and I hate getting sand all over my body." Lately he's been worrying about not getting girls for bed. "Do women think I'm sissy?" he asked us seriously.

Contestant #65: "Mr. Fantastic," 60 (he says he's only [-]), square-jawed, silver-haired, lake-blue eyes, athletic (every part still works), married five times (all Divorced), has twelve children, and has a pretty good relationship with his second, third, and fourth ex-wives (everyone wants to ask what his secret is).Beach equipment: None.But he knew the high-rises on Park Avenue, the villas in Bedford, and the ocean views in Palm Beach, and he was thinking of buying another piece of land.Now, he is spending the weekend with friends at Fazelay in Eastampton.

Contestant No. 37: Stanford Blatche, [-], a screenwriter who is expected to be the next Joe Ezettehas.He is a homosexual, but only likes heterosexual men, and he does not exclude marriage and having children.She has long, dark, curly hair that she refuses to cut short or wear in a ponytail.His grandmother had a cottage on Hasenecker Street in Southampton, where Stanford now lives, while his grandmother went on holiday to Palm Beach.Beach equipment: Can't drive, but the driver at home will drive him a special car on weekends.Best equipment: Know everyone worth knowing from an early age, no need to prove anything to anyone.

Skip's Cold Shower

On Friday night, Skip Johnson was on his way to Southampton when he met up with some friends - four girls, to be exact - at Basil's.Both are under 30 and work at Ralph Lauren.At first glance, the girls look like they've been carved from the same mold, but Skip just loves the bland prettiness and asks them out - which means he doesn't have to spend the whole evening to please one of them.

They drank Hamptons at the bar—skip paid for it, of course.Around eleven o'clock, they went to the M-80 nightclub again.There was a chaotic crowd at the door, but Skip knew the doorman and got a few of them in without difficulty.They drank cocktails from plastic cups.Skip runs into some friends - model freaks George and Charlie. "I've got a dozen girls coming to my place this weekend," boasted George.He knew Skip would really like to go, but he deliberately kept silent about inviting him.The two mannequins started throwing cocktails at each other, laughing wildly.

At two o'clock in the morning, a girl got drunk and threw up in the bushes for a long time.Skip graciously offered to drive them home.The girls live in a nice part of Southampton - in a small bungalow next door.They have nothing in their fridge but a dozen beers.Skip went into the bedroom and sat on the bed, drinking with a girl.He lay down with his eyes closed, his arms around the girl's waist. "Ah, I'm too drunk to drive back," he said like a poor puppy.

"I'm going to bed," said the girl.

"Please, just leave me here! Just sleep and nothing else, I swear!" Skip said.

"Okay. But you have to sleep on top of the quilt, and you are not allowed to take off your clothes."

Skip had to compromise.He fell asleep as soon as he hit the pillow, snoring loudly.In the middle of the night, the girl couldn't bear to kick him out of bed and ordered him to sleep on the sofa.

Driving back to his East Hampton villa on Saturday morning, Skip decided to stop by Bridgehampton to see Kelly and Mr. Big.Mr. Big was shirtless by the pool in the backyard, smoking a cigar and watering the flowers. "I'm on vacation!" he said.

"What are you doing? Why don't you hire a gardener?" Skip asked.Kelly was smoking a cigarette and reading the New York Post. "He's the gardener, and he's also in charge of washing the car."

Skip stripped his clothes down to a pair of boxers, spread his legs apart, bent his knees at right angles, and threw himself into the water in a cartoon-like pose.As he poked his head out for breath, Mr. Big smiled and said, "Now I know why you never get pretty girls."

"So what do I do?" Skip asked.

"Have a cigar." Mr. Big shrugged.

mr blach in love
Stanford Blach sat by the pool on Saturday on Hasenecker Street, talking on the phone while watching his brother's girlfriend reach for his copy of The New York Observer.He was tired of this woman, and he hoped she would walk away wisely, so he spoke very loudly on purpose. "You have to come out!" he yelled into the phone. "That's ridiculous. You're going to be in town all weekend working? You're kidding! Get on the seaplane, I'll pay for it."

"Okay, then bring your manuscript. You agents are too fucking desperate. Of course you have a place to live when you come, and the entire second floor is mine."

Stanford hung up the phone and walked over to the girl. "Do you know Robert Morriskin?" The girl looked at him blankly.He said: "I don't think you know it, but he is the hottest book agent right now, and he is quite promising. I love him to death!"

"He's a writer?" asked the girl, puzzled.

Skip fucked up again

On Saturday night, Skip and his friends, the Rappaport family, went to a barbecue.The Rappaports are young but live on the verge of divorce every day.Skip was drunk again and tried to repeat his "have a drink and lie in bed" trick on a girl named Cindy.His little trick was about to work, and he ended up talking about Jim Carrey as a genius.As a result, Cindy immediately responded: "You know, I have a boyfriend."

Sunday. "Mr. Fantastic" called his friends to say he was tired of Bedford and was coming in his Ferrari.

Stanford Brac sat by the pool in an Armani beachwear, short-sleeved shirt, and tight shorts.He was calling Robert Morriskin again. "Aren't you going to hang out tonight? There's a great party here. There aren't many parties like that these days, you know? You bring a mate? You can bring a girl if you want. I don't mind .”

something amazing happened
Colt Fierske was having his book launch at Ted Fields' villa on Sunday night.Skip was angry that he hadn't been invited.But he knew that Stanford Bratch was the guest of honor at all parties, so he offered to drive Stanford Bratch—even though he didn’t know Stanford at all—and use that to sneak in.

(End of this chapter)