Sex and the city

Chapter 34 Bonn and Ermine Fur Coats (3)
"I moved in to a friend's house," Bernie said, "and I met Dudley in Chester's bar two weeks later. You know, the East End bars are full of rich kids. When I first saw him I Thought he was annoying - he was wearing a Ralph Lauren suit and oxford low tops and a fedora, and he had wet lips. He was like a bamboo pole, tall and thin, chinless, eyes Like a hard-boiled egg, with a huge Adam's apple. No one invited him, so he sat down at our table and insisted on ordering a martini for everyone. He told bad jokes and laughed at me that day Wearing zebra-print fashion shoes. 'I'm a cow—moo moo—put me on!,' he imitated the sound of a cow. 'Please! Are you out of your mind?' I countered him. Alas , talking to him really made me feel ashamed."

"He did call me the next day. He said he got my number from Shelby. Shelby was a friend of mine and his family had something to do with George Washington. So I just Said sarcastically, 'Yo, you know Shelby.' He said, 'Well, we've known each other since kindergarten, but he was a little chump back then.' 'He was a little chump? What about you?' ’ I teased him again.”

Bernie paused, and then said: "It's actually my fault, I shouldn't have anything to do with him at all. But before I knew it, I had already broken up with Dominic. I told him all about it, and the next day I got flowers from him saying, 'A pretty girl shouldn't be sad about a breakup.' Shelby also called me and said, 'Dudley is a Good man.' I asked him back then: 'Really? What's good about him?' He told me: 'His family owns half of Nantucket Island.'

"Dudley was so patient. He kept sending me presents like stuffed bears and Vermont cheese gift packs. He also called me three or four times a day. I was annoyed at first, But after a while, I got used to his dry humor and even started to look forward to his phone calls. He listened to me carefully and was interested in all the trivial things I said, like who bought a new set of Chanel clothes Suit, I'm jealous of her because I can't afford it myself; or I smoked in a taxi and got thrown out by the driver; or I scratched my ankle while shaving or something. I know it's His trap, but I thought I wouldn't fall for it."

"Shelby called me over the weekend: 'Dudley invited us to his house on Nantucket.'"

"'Not at all,' I answered him flatly."

"'His nice house, an old house on Main Street!'"

"'Which one?' I asked him."

"'I think it's the row of brick houses, maybe. I'm pretty sure. But I'm pretty drunk every time I go, so I don't remember very well.'"

"'If it's really a brick house, I'll think about it,' I said to him."

"Ten minutes later, Dudley called me himself. 'I've bought you a plane ticket.' He said, 'Yes, to my old brick house.'"

dudley dancing

“I still can’t explain what happened that weekend. It could have been the alcohol and marijuana, or it could have been the brick house. I tell people my family loved going to Nantucket since I was a kid. We spent the summer on the Te Islands. But really we only stayed for two weeks, in a cheap boarding house, me and my brothers, and my parents cooked lobster for us on an electric stove for dinner."

"So I slept with Dudley that weekend. I didn't even think about it. As we were saying goodnight on the spiral staircase, he leaned over and kissed me. I didn't say no and we went into his bedroom. He On top of me. At first, I felt like I was suffocating. It might not be a hallucination, Dudley is 6.2 feet tall after all. But then I felt like he was a little boy, because he weighed 160 It weighs less than a pound and has no body hair or anything like that.

"For the first time in my life, I felt that I had a good time in bed. Maybe it's because no man I've ever been with has ever been really nice to me. But anyway, when I woke up the next morning, I was still I dare not look at him. I am afraid that I will be disgusted."

"Two weeks later, we were in New York for a museum dinner on the Upper East Side. It was our first public appearance together. It turned out to be a series of bad days. First he was an hour late, and then we couldn't fight each other. It was a very hot day, and Dudley hadn't eaten all day (he always skipped meals), and when he got there, he almost fainted, and someone brought him a glass of ice water. Quite a bit. He insisted on dancing with me and kept bumping into other couples. Then he smoked a cigar and threw up! We haven't had a single date since then. But Even then, everyone told me he was a wonderful man."

"Oh, except my friends. Emmarita would say: 'This is ridiculous, you can find much better than this!'"

"I said: 'But he's great in bed!'"

"And she said to me: 'Come on, I'm going to throw up.'"

"A month later, Dudley proposed to me, informally. I said yes. I still felt quite ashamed with him, but I told myself I'd get used to it soon. Besides, I Been too busy to think about it. He's been taking me shopping, apartment furniture, engagement rings, curios, oriental rugs, silver jewelry, wine... and Nantucket and Maine on weekends to meet my parents. But Dudley has no sense of time by nature, he is late every time, so we always miss the bus."

“The fuse was finally lit when we missed the boat to Nantucket for the fourth time. We had to stay in a motel that night. I was starving and asked him to go out and get some Chinese takeaway, But he came back with only a raw cabbage and a strange looking tomato. I was lying on the bed trying not to think about the sound of the next door being called to bed. Dudley was sitting at the plastic table in only a pair of underwear , seriously peeling that tomato with his silver Tiffany Swiss Army knife. He's only 30, but he has some petty quirks of a 75-year-old."

"The next morning, I started declaring war: 'Don't you think you should go to the gym and work out? Put on some weight!'"

"Since then, I have never liked him. His tacky clothes, his smell, those three golden hairs on his Adam's apple, and his attitude towards people, it's like everyone is his. Like buddies."

"I push him to the gym every day. I just stand there and watch him do the bench press, and he can only lift a five-pound barbell. He's put on ten pounds in that time, but it's hard when I don't look at him. Almost lost again. One night we went to [-]th Avenue together to visit his parents. His cook made lamb chops, but Dudley said he only ate veggies and yelled at his parents , said they didn't think about his eating habits at all. The cook had to run out and buy brown rice and broccoli for him. Dinner was delayed for two hours, and Dudley was complaining about his mistakes at the table. I feel very ashamed , I wish I could find a hole in the ground and go in. At dinner, his dad said to me: 'You are welcome to come over for dinner anytime, but don't bring Dudley.'”

"I should have cut the mess fast, but it was only two weeks before Christmas. On Christmas Eve, Dudley formally proposed to me in front of our family, with an eight-carat diamond ring. But He's always doing things that only he can do, it's ridiculous. He hid the ring in a Godiva chocolate beforehand and gave it to me as a present.'Here's your Christmas present, Eat now.'"

"'I don't want to eat chocolate right now,' I said, giving him a stern look at a time when he usually shuts his mouth tactfully."

"'I think you should eat it right now,' he demanded involuntarily, so I ate it anyway. My whole family looked at me nervously, fearing I'd knock out a tooth or choke to death. And I didn't Once agreed to his marriage proposal."

"I don't know if you've ever been engaged to the wrong person. Once you say yes, it's like getting on a train that won't stop and just bite the bullet and keep going. Round after round on Park Avenue Party after party, dinner after dinner with Bill Bocott at Mortimer's. A lot of women I didn't know heard about the ring and begged me to open their eyes. Everyone said he was a good man .”

"'Yeah, he's fine.' I go along with them, but inside I feel like I'm in hell."

"The day has finally come. I was going to move into the apartment I just bought. It's a luxurious six-bedroom apartment on East 72nd Street in Manhattan. The luggage is already packed and the movers are waiting downstairs. I'll take Get out the phone and call Dudley. 'I can't do it.' I said into the phone. 'Can't do what?' he asked puzzled. I just hung up."

"He called me again. He came to me and left. His friends kept calling me. I went out and got really drunk. Dudley's friends on the Upper East Side were pissed off. They wanted to kill me immediately. They made up a lot of rumors, that I was seen showing up at someone's house at [-] in the morning, wearing only a pair of cowboy boots; Pawned off the engagement ring; said I was just looking at Dudley's money and been using him..."

"The rumours were endless and I didn't know what to do. I moved into a tiny old flat on York Street - that's all I could afford to rent - and started looking for work. Dudley was even worse. The real estate market crashed that year and he couldn't sell that apartment. It's all my fault. He left New York and moved to London. It's also because of me. But I hear he's doing fine now, with a duke's Daughter together. A very ordinary woman."

"No one knows how I survived the next three years. It was worse than hell. I had no money and had to buy hot dogs from street stalls. I always wanted to kill myself - I actually gave suicide aid Called the hotline, but by coincidence someone left me a message and invited me to a party. I swear I'll never do that again. Never pay a man a penny again. Hurting someone is worse than getting hurt .”

"But do you really think the problem is his looks?" Kelly asked.

"I've been thinking about this too! One thing I forgot to mention, I fall asleep every time I ride in his car. I just can't keep my eyes open. In fact, he bores me as a person .”

Perhaps it was because of drinking too much champagne, Bernie smiled incredulously. "Don't you think it's bad?" she said flatly.

(End of this chapter)