Sex and the city

Chapter 5 Manhattan Marriage: Leftover Women and Poisonous Men
Another day at lunch, I was viciously gossiping with a guy I just met about a couple we both knew.He knew the husband well, and I knew the wife.In fact, I haven't been in touch with that woman for several years, and I have never met her husband, only occasionally meeting her on the street.But no one's situation can escape my ears.

"They're bound to end badly," I said. "He's so naive, a country bumpkin. He didn't know anything about her past when he came from Boston, and she was eager to take advantage of it. She is notorious in New York, and no New York man is willing to marry such a woman home!"

I wolfed down my fried chicken, warming up for the next topic. "Women in New York know it. They know when it's time to get married, and they get married. Maybe when they've slept with enough men, or when they know they're going nowhere, or when they want to When they have children. Before that, they will hide as far as they can; and when the moment they really want to get married, if they don't seize the opportunity in front of them..." I shrugged, "It's no use , it is very likely that she will only be a leftover woman forever."

The other man at the same table, a model dad living in Westchester, was terrified by our words. "Isn't it marriage for love?" he interrupted.

I gave him a look of pity, "Love? Stop talking!"

When it comes to finding a marriage partner, New York has its own matching rules, as cruel and worldly as something out of an Edith Wharton novel.Everyone is well aware of these rules of the game, but no one wants to break it out, it's just tacit understanding.The result is that New York has bred a bunch of quintessential Manhattan leftovers—smart, beautiful, successful...but single.These women are in their 40s and [-]s, and I don't think they'll ever get married.

This is not about statistics or individual examples.If you're charming, rich, and well-connected, that's a different story, of course.We all know a famous playwright who married a costume designer several years his senior.that is the truth.

But then again, think about it, if you're 90 years old, you're good looking, you're a TV producer or you have your own PR agency, and you're living in a bachelor pad and sleeping on a sofa bed - that's [-]s Mary Tyler Moore of the type—how would you feel in your own mind?Unless you know how to coax men around, instead of pretending to be reserved and sending the opposite sex out after twelve o'clock like Mary Tyler Moore-how can this kind of woman end better?
In fact, there are thousands of such women in New York City.We know a lot of girls like that, and they're all too good to fault.They travel on their own, financially independent and classy enough to spend four hundred dollars on a pair of strappy sandals by Manolo Blahnik.

"It's not their fault," Jerry said.He is 39 years old, a partner in a law firm, married to a smart wife who is three years older than him. "They're not crazy, they're not stupid, and they're not as femme fatale as the heroine of Fatal Attraction." He paused, then continued, "Why do I know so many good girls who are not married, but I can't find a single one?" Nice single guy? Let's face it, single guys in New York City right now aren't very nice!"

"M & M beans"

"Obviously," said Jerry, "the best time for a woman in New York to get married is between the ages of 26 and 35—thirty-six is ​​barely counting." We all thought that if a woman married once, she Surely she could marry herself again—she had experience and knew how to get there.

"But by the time she's 37 or [-], it's worthless," he said. "They've been through so many times that their romantic past will be their biggest burden. If I were a bachelor, I would find If your woman has dated 'M&Ms'—Mort Zuckerman or Marvin—that's a no-go. Who wants to be in the twenties on your woman's boyfriend list? If she fucks Anything else, like having an illegitimate child or being in rehab, and you can't get away with it."

Jerry told me one thing.Last summer, he had a dinner in the Hamptons, and the guests were all people from the film and television industry.He and his wife are trying to match a 40-year-old former supermodel with a recently divorced man.The two men were flirting, and somehow the old model started talking about Mort Zuckerman, and then Marvin.So Jerry and his wife saw the man's complexion suddenly changed.

"New York has a 'bad guy list,'" Jerry said, "and they're deadly."

Later that day, I told this story to Anna.Anna is 36 years old and is used to playing against men.All the men wanted to sleep with her, but she thought they were superficial and ignorant.Unsurprisingly, she also dated M&Ms, and she also knew Jerry.Ana heard my report and yelled, "Jerry is jealous! He wants to be like M&Ms too, but he's neither as rich nor as powerful as them. I mean, every man in New York wants to Become Mort Zuckerman, no matter what they pretend to be."

George, 37, an investment banker, shares Jerry's disapproval of those "drug men". "That plastic surgeon, that Time Magazine editor, and that freak who owns several infertility clinics—these guys hang out with the same women, in the same place as me today, and him tomorrow. Groups in circles," he said, "If I met women who had dated these men, I would never date them."

Children – or underwear?
"If you're Diane Sawyer, you're going to get married sooner or later," George said, "but even great women can miss out. The problem with this is that New Yorkers are so picky. They limit their social circles to smaller and smaller ones. They deal with the best of the best every day, and their mate selection criteria are stricter than yours.”

"The second problem is your girlfriends - look at yourself," George said, "Actually, the men you date are pretty good, but the friends around you hate this and that, and they can't get into any of them. Fayan."

This is true.To be fair, the men I've dated have all been at the top of their game, but my friends have found a ton of faults in each of them, and have relentlessly accused me of setting the bar too low.Those little things that are completely unworthy of mentioning in my eyes are in their eyes an unforgivable heinous crime.And the result is that I'm still alone and my friends are free as hell.

Two days later, I ran into George again at a party. "Marriage is to have children," he said, "and you have to find someone younger than 35, or you have to start making a baby immediately after you get married, and you can't delay for a second-from then on you are stuck in the family. the abyss of life."

So I went to Peter for verification.He's 42, a writer, and I've dated me twice.He completely agrees with George's remarks. "Yes, it's a matter of age and biology," he said. "You don't know how sexually attractive a woman of childbearing age is to a man, but it's very difficult for an old woman in her 40s." It’s a feeling. You don’t want to be that eager to sleep with them unless something else drives you.”

I thought to myself, "Something else? Do you mean sexy lingerie, or..."

"Older leftover women are definitely the biggest problem in New York City." Peter thought about it, and added, "Many women are suffering from this, but few are willing to admit it."

Peter told me that he has a female friend, 41 years old, who only likes to have fun with hot and sexy guys.Then one day, when she was out with a 20-year-old boy, she was mercilessly teased.Then she gets dumped by a sexy guy about her age.Suddenly she seemed unable to hook any men.She was hit hard both physically and mentally, and her whole body collapsed. She couldn't even keep working, so she had to move back to Iowa to join her old mother.

This is the kind of story that will definitely send the bloodcurdling hair down on any woman - but the men will just laugh at it.

Roger's statement

Roger sipping wine at an Upper East Side restaurant.He is 39 years old, has his own fund company, and lives in a luxurious apartment on Park Avenue.He also ponders why men become more vigorous as they reach middle age.

He explained: "When you're a kid in your 30s and [-]s, women are dominant in relationships. But when you're in your [-]s and you're not married, you find that women are hungry. rushing towards you."

In short, it is a change of dynasty overnight.Before you can react, the situation has changed suddenly.

Roger said he just got back from a cocktail party.As soon as he entered the door, he saw several single women in their 40s and [-]s. They were all blonde beauties from the Upper East Side, wearing little black dresses, and each one was more scheming than the other. "It feels so wrong, but you can't tell what they're doing wrong," Roger said. "These women are half desperate and half hungry for orgasm. It's just crazy. You should see the look in their eyes - that kind of get it at any cost, mixed with naked money worship. As soon as you leave here, they will check your details on the Internet as soon as you leave .It's interesting that these women are not willing to marry for the sake of marriage—but what man would be moved by seeing them look like that?"

We're back with Peter, who's pissed about the women's "Eric Baldwin fever." "Actually, the biggest problem is the 'expectation value' of these women. The leftover women are not willing to marry those who still want them, and they can't catch young and energetic young men, so they say 'fuck it and be alone. He's a nice guy'. I don't feel sorry for these high-minded guys at all. The suitors they don't like are pretty pitiful. Every woman in New York has rejected more than ten good men, thinking they are fat, weak No power, no money or no personality. They have to find someone like Eric Baldwin - but hot guys are only interested in 20-year-old girls!"

Speaking of this, Peter almost roared: "Why do they look down on fat people? I hope they all marry fat and fat pigs!"

good friend bad mate

I relayed Peter's question to Charlotte. "I'll tell you why," she said, "I've been with people like this—the kind of pudgy guys he's talking about—and it makes no difference at all. The difference is that they are ugly."

"When you're still single in your 30s, you ask yourself, why do I have to get married?" Charlotte said.She recently turned down a 41-year-old banker.The man was just divorced, handsome and rich, but Charlotte thought his thing was too small. "Thin as an index finger." She sighed.

Sarah chirped in.She had just raised money for her first independent film and was on a high. "Who says women can't get married? What a villain! If you're going to marry someone who says that, you'd better shut up. You have to sit there honestly, keep your mouth shut, and ignore him You have to nod in agreement with everything. I can't do that!"

My friend Emmarita just called and she explained to me why good women are usually single—they're not proud of it, but they don't despair of it either. "Oh dear." Her voice was gentle on the phone.She had slept with a 24-year-old law student the night before, so she was in a good mood. "Everyone knows New York guys are the best confidantes, but being a partner sucks. I'm from South America, where people always say you're better off being single than making do."

(End of this chapter)