Working Travel: Realizing a Dream in a Year

Chapter 1 Preface I don't want my current life, but I don't know what I want

September [-] Shanghai
My birth was the result of countless chances.What are the countless chances?
27 years later, I was on an apple tree in New Zealand and in a packing factory. I handled tens of thousands of red and green apples every day. I suddenly discovered that each person, each apple, is unique, and some apples are bigger. , Some apples have better skin, and the taste of scars may be excellent, and the bright and beautiful ones may have rotted hearts long ago-this is one of the commonalities between people and apples.

Knowing this, I still want to be different, as if that can prove the value of my existence-this is one of the differences between people and apples.

I remembered that when I came to this world, I was no different from these apples, and they were all handled by bigger hands in the same way—this is the common thing between people and apples.

Fortunately, what else can I do to combat this involuntary life-this is the second difference between a man and an apple.

Countless accidents became inevitable, but that was before I was born, and it was a matter of my previous life.In this life, I should be able to make my own decisions.If you become an apple in your next life, you won't even have a chance to stand up.

When we are born, we are all apples, and when we grow up, we become human beings.There is an idiom called growing up, but it is not necessarily true.

It's hard to grow from an apple to a human.

Jiangxi in [-]
That year I was a freshman in high school, and my grades had to be counted backwards to be among the best.Not to mention how anxious I am, I feel that the future is bleak, I am sorry for the kindness of my parents in nurturing, and more importantly, I cannot become a pillar of society.This situation has completely changed in the second year of high school, and I challenged the teacher and fought against the discipline.score?Grades are just a shield for doing bad things.By the third year of high school, I would be silly and happy almost all day long.

What is life?Life is about solving the same math problem three ways, and at least one of them must be unknown.Life is ignorant, worry-free and fearless, thinking that tomorrow is synonymous with bright.

When I was in my third year of high school, I simply believed that as long as I went to the best university, I would have the best life.

But no one told me what kind of life is the best.Parents don't, teachers don't.Maybe they don't know the answer to that question either.

I don't blame them, they have done a lot for me.More importantly, I discovered later that some questions can only be answered by myself, and it is useless to teach others.

[-] Shanghai
I got my wish and entered the best university in Shanghai, as my parents wished.I was admitted by my first choice, but I was not the one who filled out that choice.

so funny.

It all made me think college was a joke.Before he was ready, he was pushed onto the stage, and everyone applauded.

My university started with such confusion, and then I was like everyone else, skipping classes, playing games, falling in love, studying all night, and then failing.After such a toss in the university, I feel complete and have no regrets.But when I graduated, I realized what I had learned in my four years of college life.Why do I go to college?My head is the same as a cow's stomach, same thing, still regurgitating cud after four years.

But the cow finally ate the grass and milked it.I am just the opposite of a cow. I tried my best to suckle and squeezed out a word, grass.

[-] Shanghai
graduated.In fact, I didn't plan to graduate so soon, because I didn't know what to do after graduation.In January of that year, I joined the postgraduate entrance examination team, majoring in economics. Everyone said that this major is easy to find and has a high income.I think this is a life-saving straw, so grab it fast.Despair is a magnifying glass of hope, and confusion is a distorting mirror of fallacy.

A person can't even figure out why he does something. If he succeeds, he has stepped on dog shit.

Sure enough, I did not pass the postgraduate entrance examination and had to face the unknown society.

Like most stunned youths who don't know how to tie a tie to be full of energy, I stumbled into an office building with a lot of face, how could I have face?Hey, standing behind the transparent curtain wall, looking at the bustling trees in the distance, and looking at my own face on the glass up close, it is wider than the Huangpu River, which is really great.Quickly gather your mind, what should you do, get the approval of the leader, and be in harmony with your colleagues.

By 2008, to paraphrase the lines of the movie, I self-righteously entered a period of rising career and stable relationship.I looked at the partners around me back then, hehe, everyone is still there, some rose earlier, I looked at their backs; some stabilized earlier, I looked at their group photo.In short, I feel at ease, my future is not a dream.However I made a mistake.People who don't dream will never wake up from a dream.After sleeping for so long, I was actually dreaming someone else's dream. People say that the same bed with different dreams is scary, but if I ask you, it's really scary to have different beds with the same dream.We can read and write, look for a job after graduation, for financial independence, and then we can be independent of personality.The irony is that everyone who strives for financial independence has become like a mold.

That year I broke up with my first love.After the melted youth drenched my heart, my eyes, ears, mouth, nose, and heart seemed to have just come into the world. I also began to check for the first time whether the boy who saluted frequently was in the wrong camp.

The first thing I discovered was that I could continue to work hard in the company in a safe and warm way, and then I became a supervisor with people under me; then I became a house slave with debts on my back.In the future, I don't know, maybe I will be a manager or something, and behave in a well-dressed manner.

The second thing I discovered was that I knew I didn't want my life right now, but didn't know what I wanted.This made me very distressed, the sky was dark, the wild was vast, and there were no cattle or sheep.Where to go, I think it is a question that most of my peers have been thinking about.Just thinking, I'm afraid it won't help to solve any problem. The process of searching must first use the brain and then do it.Picasso painted abstract paintings, so he had to get started.

Let's start with an abstract painting.One day, when I get enlightened in painting, I start to change my career to painting fine brushwork, and draw a very clear ideal of life.

Who the hell invented the word ideal?When did the ideal come up?

[-] Shanghai
The messy zodiac year has finally passed.Fortunately, in this world, I still have some passions, such as mystery novels.At the end of the year, my identity changed subtly.I am an amateur translator, a copyright broker who plays tricks, and a book planner who seems to have a good deal.After completing the translation of the first novel, the first copyright transaction and the planning of the first series of books, I feel that life still has some meaning.

When people are alive, they always need some sustenance.Like, some hobbies that keep us strong and fulfilled.These hobbies can turn into our careers when opportunities arise.

At the beginning of 2009, I left the home where I lived for many years and moved to the Jing'an Villa near the company.Go out from Jing'an Villa, walk along West Nanjing Road for 5 minutes, and you will arrive at the office building.

My parents were against it.I was against it from the very beginning when I tentatively tried it out.

"What's wrong with living at home?"

"Did you grow up and feel that you don't need your parents anymore?"

"I have to pay more rent when I go out. Isn't it good to save this money?"

"There are ready-made meals at home, you work so hard, and you have to cook them yourself when you go out, it's too tiring!"

Their reasons and posture make me feel that any justification is ruthless evidence, and I hate convincing people.Later, I pondered over and over again, and finally I settled an account for them.

It takes more than two hours to commute from Yangpu District to Jing’an District every day. In two hours, I can translate 2000 words, and if calculated according to industry standards, I can earn about 3000 yuan.A month is [-] yuan.

"How much is the rent?" I asked them.

They stopped talking.I probably think that what I said is reasonable, it is more cost-effective to live outside.

Shanghai is a big city, and living in a big city is not easy.My parents came to this place from Jiangxi for me, and they have a deep understanding of this.For the future pressure, they are bigger than me.Having said so many reasons, in fact, what my parents are most worried about is money, and what they want most is that I have a good life.

I just moved out in a logical way.When I went home on the weekend, my mother said, "I let you lie to me. You save time on commuting to and from get off work. What about the time you spend on washing, cooking and cleaning the room?"

It's done, I smiled.

My parents and I have more time and space for ourselves. I go home once a week, sometimes for half a month.For a few days every month, I cook by myself, and most of the time I either accompany clients or deal with things hastily outside.I didn't plan that way at first. In my plan, I wanted to live alone to practice my cooking skills. It turned out that it was like bringing textbooks home for the summer vacation. It was all nonsense.Few people love the kitchen as much as they think.I didn't really understand this truth until I was in New Zealand.

We gradually got used to this kind of life. At the beginning, every time my mother called, she would ask: "Have you eaten today? What did you eat?" There were other questions like this, and later it was: "Are you going home for the weekend?"

"No, next week. Or next week."

Looking back now, this state of life was a prelude, which made the long parting that followed less abrupt and unacceptable.The dialogue that runs through it changes.

"When will you call home again?"

"Next month. This time next month."

Life, that's how it goes in the direction you want inadvertently.When I picked up the first book when I was a child, I never thought that one day my name would appear on the paper.Most importantly, never drown out your inner voice.

I have lived in Xinxin for two months, spring has come, and the sycamore trees on Nanjing West Road are turning green a little bit.On my daily commute, I look at these new babies and tell myself this is going to be a great year.I'm too emotional, but the scenery of West Nanjing Road is obviously to my liking.

One evening in April, I was surfing the web at home when the young couple Breeze and Coyote had arrived in New Zealand on their round-the-world tour.A beautiful little island - that's all I have of New Zealand.Two years later, when I saw this island country and densely familiar place names on the world atlas, I almost shed tears.How much memory and love do I need to accumulate to be able to move me so far in an instant?Those unknowingly warm things yesterday actually extended the spring and made me believe that the flowers will always bloom and the birds will always be free.

Like many people, I envy Breeze and Coyote.Traveling the world, how cool it sounds.But why didn't I have the courage to quit my job?I was so useless, I cursed myself and went back to work the next day.

On the evening of April 4, the couple wrote a new diary:
Here, I met a Hong Kong boy in his early 20s, taking pictures with a camera and a tripod alone.He has been in New Zealand for 8 months.I got a working holiday visa, and I played while working.After working and saving money, I took a map and walked the classic hiking routes in New Zealand...

During our travels, we met a lot of people on working holiday visas.Traveling around the world, which seems difficult for us, is quite natural for young people in the West. Even if they are not "traveling the world", they will spend a long time traveling to other countries.

Big Bad Wolf and I regretted it very much: why didn't we know that there are visas like working holidays earlier.To be more extreme, I think that maybe after graduating from university, you should not rush to find a job. Traveling around the world to increase your knowledge and broaden your horizons may be more beneficial to future employment.Moreover, with a working holiday visa, you can work to support yourself, and there is no additional financial burden on your parents...

Seeing this, my head suddenly exploded, and the world radiated a new attitude, and I knew what I should do.

Living to the age of 25, this is the first time I have dealt with my life.We all have this right, but we may not have the courage.Our courage has long been forgotten in the smooth sailing that was arranged, or in the prophesied drifting, and we no longer want to think about it.

However, I managed to find my bullet and put it in the decayed chest.I have since been grateful to this couple for giving me an opportunity to finally find courage.I always think that many people also have the desire to resist reality, and have accumulated a certain degree of courage for this, but there are too few opportunities around us for them to muster the courage to take the first step.This cannot but be said to be a pity.One thing that is very common in foreign countries, in China requires not only determination and courage, but also luck.

At the end of 2009, I asked my mother, "What is your dream in this life?"

She thought for a while and said, "You're so old, why are you still talking about this?"

"You have to answer me, I'm serious."

She thought for a while longer, and then said, "I want to go to Hong Kong. I always think it's a good place."

"Oh why?"

"There is no reason, it's just that I have such an impression since I was a child."

I said, "Then let's go to Hong Kong."

The realization of dreams is a beautiful thing, and it is my mission to help the people I love realize their dreams.

Since when did she and I start talking like friends?It probably started at that time!
A few days later, we went to Hong Kong.

[-] Shanghai
I asked my mother, "If I died tomorrow, would you accept it?"

"No. You are still young, don't talk nonsense!"

"Then can you still live well?"

"It might work."

"If you died tomorrow, I could live with that, but I'm sure I'm living a terrible life."

I'm not kidding, I suddenly found that if my parents left me, I didn't have the confidence to fight life alone.It is more difficult than anything else to acquire the wisdom and courage to survive alone.This wish swelled violently, quickly squeezing my sense of security out of my body.

During the Spring Festival, I went to Beijing with my investment friend A Zhu.The day we arrived in Beijing happened to be Valentine's Day. We walked under the empty East Third Ring Bridge, looking for a shop called Guomao Roasted Wings.The nights in Beijing are not as lively as in Shanghai. I clearly remember the night when I first arrived at Wangfujing, it was only 9 o'clock, and there was no one on the road.I suspected at the time that the capital was attacked by an unknown black hole.

This night was the same, two single men walked in the darkness of Valentine's Day, and they didn't see any couples on the road.Yellow street lamps passed over our heads one by one.A year later, the people around me were replaced by Taiwanese girlfriends, and the ones above my head turned into shooting stars.

Ah Zhu knew that I was determined to leave, but he still advised me: "Have you ever thought about what you can do after you return to China?"

"I thought about it," I said, "but it didn't work out."

"Are you being too impulsive?"

"I've been impulsive for almost a year."

"You are developing well now, and you can go to New Zealand after earning more money. Didn't you want to do something at that time?"

I was tempted to refute him, to strengthen my resolve, but I found it difficult.I don't have a fortress-like reason.

"That's different. Definitely different." That's all I can say.

In short, it is a feeling, people who understand it will naturally understand it, but I can't explain it to those who don't understand it.At least at that time, I was powerless to persuade Ah Zhu.

As a result, the owner of Guomao Roasted Wings also went home to celebrate the New Year, so we reunited with friends and went to eat hot pot instead.Back at the hotel, I sent a letter of resignation to the boss.It took me a long time to press the send button, and I knew it was a clean break, and no one can say goodbye to the past so easily.The majestic time flows by, the small past is deposited one after another, and the quicksand under the feet is always a monster with its mouth wide open.

In fact, being a fish is probably pretty good, but I still want to see the world through the eyes of Asuka.Anyway, people have their own aspirations, there is no right or wrong.

Now I want to talk about my boss, when a group of high school buddies rented an attic, used the most primitive method, bought a genuine tape, a bunch of blank tapes, made and sold pirated tapes.When he used the mobile phone, we thought it was a brick.Later, he dropped out of school and went to the south to sell pirated discs. He was chased by creditors, fled to Anhui, and sneaked back to Shanghai. From then on, he studied, went to work, married a wife, and gave birth to a daughter.

He replied to me the next day:
"I support your decision very much. If I were 10 years younger, I would also yearn for such a life!"

10 years ago, and 10 years ago, his black and white squares were already worthy of the word youth.His support and understanding made me feel relieved and moved.

After the new year, I spent two months handing over work and visiting some old customers.I didn't say much about working holidays, mainly because I thought it was troublesome.

"Ah? Working holiday? What is a working holiday? Why do you go on a working holiday? What do you do when you come back?"

But to my surprise, one of the executives from Taiwan said cheerfully: "Are you going on a working holiday? That's great. I have two books that I can lend you. I used to want to go to Australia too, but unfortunately because of It didn’t happen for various reasons, and now it’s too late.”

What he meant was that he was over 30 years old.When regrets cannot be smoothed out by oneself, I especially hope that someone can represent dreams.I have fulfilled my mother's long-cherished wish by being admitted to university, and this time I can fight for myself.

Friends saw me off one night in May, and I wasn't the protagonist that night, and I've never been good at being the protagonist.Everyone still talked about their recent life and work as usual, and no one thought about looking forward to the stars and seas in the southern hemisphere.As if I just go back and forth.All the more because no one knows what the year really means.

Azhu brought the rice wine from his hometown to the scene, and Afa contributed the Spanish red wine from his collection. We felt that it was not enough, so we drank another round of beer and white wine.

This is the second time I've been drunk.I watched myself soberly falling down little by little, falling into the forgetfulness that I would only rest when I was drunk.

(End of this chapter)