Wang Junkai in whose landscape are you in?

Chapter 286 [Kay Me] Treat you the same (1)

[1]
Wang Junkai, I am Xu Luo, your Xu Luo.

Wang Junkai, today I heard the song you sang at the entrance of the milk tea shop on the roadside. Continue to my 15-year-old self.

In a trance, I remembered the small roads I walked with you. There were no crowds of fans, no gazes like spectators from others, but only the bright sunshine in the afternoon and the haze scattered all over the ground. At that time, we Holding each other's hand and walking on the barren road that day, the sun was setting and the shadow was very long.

I can't help but dream of you, think of you, and everything about you.

Your emotions have interfered with my emotions for a long time, because I know that I will only meet one you in this life, you who are proud and stubborn, you who admit death, the love that makes people feel distressed, but you are brave and need care and warmth more than anyone else of you.

However, these things are slowly forgotten. I once said that no one will forget you. You see, I still broke my promise. Your appearance has been unknowingly weathered by time. I'm going to forget you.

Fortunately, the opposite wall is full of posters, fortunately, the weekly diary is full of our mutual stories, fortunately, I have made so many preparations.

However, I still have to leave you and surrender to the years, because the years are too poisonous and the years are like needles.

Wang Junkai, you'd better not think about me.

Because I'm going to really leave you.

But Wang Junkai, I don't know who else will treat you as warmly as I did before, and I am really reluctant.

The afternoon sun always comes hotter, baking the earth, those gorgeous flowers and those vibrant leaves, also under this kind of weather, gradually fade away, appearing lifeless.

However, the shadows of the green leaves mottled on the ground are somewhat moving. I think that maybe the rows of trees are the most beautiful scenery in the city, and the colorful neon lights can't compare with it.

It was also that day that the refrigerator full of snacks was empty. I looked at the empty refrigerator and thought for a long time before I made up my mind to go out, kicking on a pair of white flip flops, and I didn’t realize it until the sun was shining on me. If it is not good, I am afraid that the skin that has been maintained with great difficulty will be tanned again.

In fact, it’s not considered maintenance, it’s just that I don’t like to go out and write articles on the Internet at home all day long. Not going out is already a problem. Unless there are special reasons, I am an absolute home girl. Do you want to know why?I'll tell you later.

The total number of commodities in the supermarket is dazzling, and you can only stuff what you see into the basket.The salesperson was incredulous about my behavior, and someone even asked me with a smile, "Little friend, are you going back for the winter? Isn't it just summer?"

That person is you, Wang Junkai.

Wearing a white shirt, the collar button is not buttoned, leaving a piece of fair skin, so good-looking that people can't help but imagine, the blue jeans are just right, showing your long legs to the fullest, even though it is already In summer, you still wear a pair of dark blue sneakers on your feet, which are clean and free from dust.

Just like you.

Although I only had a quick glance.

However, I am actually very dissatisfied with you calling me a kid. How can I say that I am a third year in high school? It’s just that I didn’t study because of some circumstances. What is a kid?I am not a junior high school student anymore.

Although I wanted to refute it, it was too boring to refute it after thinking about it, so I continued to choose without making a sound.

"You dropped something." After I left the supermarket, a voice suddenly came from a distance. I couldn't help being tempted, so I turned around. I saw Wang Junkai smiling warmly with his canine teeth. I don't know why there was a sudden It's an illusion of colliding with the sun.

I was holding a dozen snacks in my hand, and later when the two got acquainted, he laughed at me like this, "How can there be a girl who goes out to buy snacks in a white gauze skirt and white sandals, and doesn't know how to take care of herself at all."

It was still summer when he said this, and I was no longer wearing the white gauze dress or the pair of white sandals, as the passage of time said.

At that time, I took the wallet in his hand, thanked him, and turned to leave.

There is no need to deliberately prepare for the person you should meet, because fate has its own arrangements.

September 9th was my nightmare.

On the special day of the fifth anniversary of my mother's death, it took just five years from the first escape to the present numbness. I don't know how much suffering I have endured in the past five years. I don't know how I survived. This paragraph is blank.My father got married quickly after my mother died, and I didn't know why I had an extra two-year-old brother. Later, thinking about my mother's resolute look on the car, maybe it was to die for love.

It was the father who killed the mother.

This thought has been haunting me and I can't extricate myself.I still remember that my mother talked to me a lot about the past between them in the car that day, from the youthful coyness when we met for the first time to the first hand in hand, from the sweet wedding to the first betrayal, from Starting from scratch talked about the prosperity of the future.Mother spoke from joy to sorrow, but she still smiled.

At that time, I was still young, and I didn't understand commercial interests at all, and I didn't even understand what an extramarital affair was. I also blamed myself for not understanding the heartache behind my mother's deep smile.The last words my mother sent me to school that day were, "Ah Luo, you have to love someone right."

I was confused and just nodded obediently, turned around and entered the campus, but I didn't know that this separation was my life and my eternity.

At that time, I was just in the first day of junior high school, and my bright youth came to an abrupt end from then on.When I got home that day, the bad news of my mother's car accident came. She died, and she left me like this without any nostalgia.

My father, on the other hand, managed the funeral with a blank expression, without showing much reluctance. Of course, I also looked blank, and my reaction was only out of disappointment for my father and distress for my mother, perhaps with some hatred Yes, but after all, the miss is too strong.

I can't really hate it, it's my mother after all.

Sometimes human life is extraordinarily tenacious, and it is not an exaggeration to describe it as invincible, but more often, human life is like a candle, which stops when the wind blows.

That is to say, since then, I have become more or less negative. During the rebellious period of the second year of junior high school, I simply left home after quarreling with my father. I think he also wished that I left this home, otherwise why didn’t I ever redeem it?Although they seem to be indifferent on the surface, they are still thinking about home, mother, and those happy pasts in their hearts, otherwise why would they always wake up in the middle of the night and shed tears.

Maybe because my father felt sorry, he would put a fixed amount of living expenses on my card every month, and even have one more person to take care of my daily life. It's just that I drove her away a few days ago, so I don't want her every day. Day and my father reported my situation, so what if I started coughing up blood when I woke up in the morning?He doesn't feel bad, so he knows what to do?
However, after avoiding nightmares for so long, you can't escape after all. You always have to face your own nightmares.

Right now, because there is no such thing as a bright future.

After all, time flies by two or three years.

Today is September 9th.

In the past five years, I have not fulfilled the responsibility of any daughter, so it is time to visit the cemetery.

The rain outside the window kept pattering, and the sound of pattering rain disturbed the pedestrians.this weather.How many people are willing to walk slowly on the road to enjoy the beautiful scenery?
Smile coldly.

There was bread and a cup of hot milk on the table. It seemed that someone had been there before I woke up, and the residual warmth was the trace left by the visitor.

It's my father, the one who hasn't appeared in front of me for five years, the one who will only heat milk for me on the day of my mother's death before I wake up, tell me, should I hate it or love it?

I can't answer.

The rain outside the window suddenly became heavy, splashing, hitting the roof tiles, hitting the umbrellas of passers-by, and even more hitting my heart, which suddenly hurt my heart, those fragments of happiness in the past Scenes were replayed in my mind. When I opened my eyes and looked at the empty house in front of me, I felt more lonely. When I compared my happiness, I felt that I was extremely pitiful.

After sipping two sips of milk, he casually ate two slices of bread, and hurried out the door with an umbrella in his hand. The roses at the door were blooming proudly in the rain. The urge to bury flowers made me vaguely remember that roses were one of my mother's favorite flowers during her lifetime.One of the reasons why I chose this house was that the roses in the other courtyard were so beautiful. I wanted to take care of it, so I moved so hastily. Many things were predestined.

The umbrella is transparent, and the rain has bloomed flowers on the umbrella. The clean and flawless one is like a heart that was once ignorant of the world, but now the heart is riddled with holes and dust. The popular saying is that you grow up big.

The business in the flower shop was still as good as usual. Although it was raining heavily, there was still an endless stream of customers.

The boss is a beautiful woman with delicate facial features, and is proficient in various techniques of growing flowers. I once bothered her when I almost raised Qiangwei to death a while ago, but she was not annoyed and still answered my questions patiently. every question.

You see, I can't do anything well without a babysitter.

I patiently sat aside and watched her smile and answer every guest's question, and suddenly I felt a little envious. It really doesn't feel bad to be needed.

When I was staring at the boss, there was an extra voice beside me, with a strong hint of teasing, "Little friend, are you here to buy flowers too?"

"I'm not a kid. I'm a freshman." I'm afraid I'm the only one who can speak so confidently about my studies without studying. which one?Because I seldom go out, so when I see him, I remember the day I met him and what dialogue he said. Actually, it’s not because my memory is so good. "Don't call me kid, my name is Xu Luo."

It is reasonable to say that a junior high school should be in the third year after five years of junior high school, but I did overlook a detail, perhaps because I haven't read for a long time, so I don't have any concept at all.I just thought that if Ah Jiu was a freshman, then I must be a freshman too, but I forgot that she skipped grades in high school.So I still foolishly thought that I went to high school, but after thinking about it, I remembered wrongly. It turns out that I am only a third year in high school, oh, so I am only 17 years old.

"Well, Wang Junkai."

He opened his mouth softly but with warmth, giving people an urge to get close.

The rain outside the window didn't want to stop at all, the sound of the rain seemed to be the soundtrack to his voice, it instantly soothed my uneasy emotions, and I was lost in thought looking at him.

"Come to buy flowers? En?" Seeing that I didn't speak, he stretched out his hand and shook it in front of me. His fingers were slender and white. When he looked closely, he could see the dense but subtle scars. He must have tossed his hands for a long time. Guitar?should be.

As for being so desperate?I pursed my lips and thought for a while before I met his gaze, which was like water, gentle and elegant.

"En." Nodding silently, he spat out the vague word of "en", not daring to look at each other, and hastily turned his gaze out of the window.It was raining heavily, so the words and sentences of the neon lights on the opposite side could not be seen very clearly, and it was blurry, which was very beautiful.

In fact, I don't like to talk. People around me say that I don't fit in. Also, who wants to be friends with a child whose mother has lost his father?
However, there are exceptions, I have only one, the only one, she knows all my emotions, knows what flavor of milk tea I like, knows my favorite drink, knows my favorite car, and knows what kind of person I love, just She is not by my side now, and we are destined to part after the college entrance examination in June, but we didn't say goodbye until the end of August.

"Xu Luo, what flowers do you want?" After the boss finished his work, the customer turned around and asked softly. His voice was soft and comfortable, and I was thinking that if Wang Junkai was a little older, he might be willing to marry her back home. , gentle and gentle people are very popular, and of course handsome boys are the same. "Where's Kai?"

"Do I have any white flowers?" You can't send a dozen roses, can you?Doesn't the bright red color look abrupt in the cemetery?My mother's favorite color during her lifetime was plain color, so white would be fine.His tone was hesitant, and he even frowned slightly, but the movement was too small for them to notice.

I have been hiding my emotions for so many years. Everyone thinks I am happy when I say I am happy, but no one can see through my emotions.

"Sister Li Zi, bring me a bouquet of roses." Wang Junkai looked at me for a while before opening his mouth softly, as if he was saying these words to me again, and the next thing was

Li Zi's teasing laugh, "Hey, did Xiaokai buy it as a gift for a girlfriend? That's right, she's a sophomore, it's time to find a girlfriend." When she said this, she kept looking at me and smiling slightly. , which made me a little embarrassed and overwhelmed.

"It's nothing, my roommate asked me to buy it." Tan Tanshou said that this bouquet of flowers really had nothing to do with him.

"It's okay, I won't expose you~" Sister Li Zi smiled meaningfully, which also amused me. I sat on the stool and laughed with them, with a silly vibe, but the picture was really extra warm.

For me it is like this.

While talking, I saw Sister Li Zi wrapped a large bunch of white lilies. I listened to their conversation and secretly speculated about their relationship. I also watched Sister Li Zi's movements. . "Its flower language is purity, I hope what I think can help you."

"I think my mother will like it when she sees it in heaven." I told the truth, but it took me a while to see Li Zi's face showing a look of bewilderment, and then said with a smile, "It's okay, I'm used to it .”

In fact, Lily is really suitable for her mother, because her extravagant love is to be clean and flawless, just like being a human being.

She can't tolerate a grain of sand in love, otherwise she would not be determined to die at that time.I am different from her in this regard. I think my life is something worth cherishing, compared with love.

At that time, I always talked too much, because I never expected to meet Wang Junkai to break every principle in my life.

So people, don’t talk too much, because if you talk too much, you will get hurt easily.

After chatting for a while, I said goodbye and left in a hurry.

My father has always been in a hurry to do things. I also guessed that he dared to go to the cemetery after he left. It was because he was afraid of meeting him. If he met, he would be embarrassed and it would touch the most uncomfortable and painful place in my heart.I know that even though he is no longer in love, the love between husband and wife for so many years does not mean that he can let go of it after all, so he still goes back to mourn more or less.I heard others say that my father once regretted it, but it was also a time, and it was because of the loss.

Losing something is better than having something, someone else's stuff is always better than your own, this is the best reason for cheating, I've heard it from different people.

The city was washed by the rain and was spotless and clean. The leaves were all green and without any blemishes. I thought this kind of place was suitable for Virgos to live in. I pursed my lips and smiled, but a voice called me came from afar.

"Xu Luo, wait and I will accompany you." Wang Junkai's voice gradually approached from a distance, accompanied by the sound of rain, making his voice more clear and moving.I stopped walking and the smile widened at the corner of my mouth, but I didn't turn around to look at him, I just hugged the bouquet in my hand tighter. Fortunately, the lily didn't have thorns, or I might have been stabbed.

Frankly speaking, I was still afraid of the sudden warmth of others, and rejected from the bottom of my heart.

Terrified.

After being alone for a long time, my heart began to be desolate, covered with weeds, unwilling to move or pull it out, allowing it to grow wildly, and I didn't want to be like this, but I had no choice but to do so.

"The weather is bad and the cemetery is remote. You are too dangerous as a girl." When he said this, he had already arrived in front of me, and his mother's nagging, patient and gentle voice reached my ears, and my heart warmed.After I finished speaking, I saw that he was holding a dark blue umbrella in his left hand. He bent down to lift up his trouser legs while he was talking, and patted it with his hand, muttering in a complaining tone, "When it rains, the shoes will be dirty." quick."

"You're a Virgo." It's also a joke, but I don't mind it anymore, boys, what do you mind?Dirty is dirty, just wash it.

However, some things cannot be dirty, such as love.

"Yes." After tidying up, he glanced at the serious me, nodded and replied, shook the broken hair on his forehead, and then complained softly with a little dissatisfaction, "Xu Luo, why do so many people reject Virgos?"

"En" I was stunned for a while.After meditating for a while, I looked at Wang Junkai who had been staring at me and said slightly, "Wang Junkai, but I'm also a Virgo."

Yes, I am also a Virgo, but I think I may be different from other Virgos in a million ways. I don’t have much hygienic obsession and I am very sloppy, but I do have spiritual obsession and it is very serious and even reaches It's unbelievable.

For example, if you are my friend, I don’t want you to play better with others than me. If you are my lover, I don’t want you to treat others better than me. Maybe, this is also selfish to a certain extent, but What I'm trying to say is that it stems from my inherent loneliness.

Just pretend I'm making excuses.

Probably because if you treat others better, I will worry about gains and losses, and worry that you will not want me anytime.

Sensitive, lonely and paranoid, this is me, and what about Wang Junkai?The warmth always makes people unable to move their eyes away. Such two people are doomed to reach the same destination through different paths, so I don't blame anyone.

Yes I am not good enough.

What do you think? Wang Junkai.

I really don't understand the emotion in your eyes. I don't know whether it's disgust, liking, or distress.

Wang Junkai didn't hold a rose in his hand, he raised his hand and said that holding a rose was too abrupt.

That's right, if such a handsome boy holds a bouquet of roses in his hand, he will definitely turn his head back very high. Even I have no resistance to such a boy.I didn’t talk like that along the way. It’s more accurate to say that my state has always been that I don’t want to disturb others, but he still kept chattering like an energetic big brother.

He is as warm as sunshine, and my heart is as cold as ice.

Almost to the cemetery, the surrounding scenery is no longer like a city, it has become depressed.

Surrounded by lush weeds, many of them are an eyesore.

My mother's grave is located at the far right of this cemetery. I once read a book called Genius Turns Left, Madman Turns Right. It seems that my father really thinks that my mother is a madman in love. It is probably true as I think. .

Most of the graves along the road are covered with weeds. It can be seen that no one has visited the graves for a long time. It is also sad. If you are alive, you will not be remembered. If you are dead, how many people can be remembered like a great man?Idiots talk about dreams.So, life.It's really important. Whether it's wonderful or not is something only you can control. Why do you want to live and die for someone who has nothing to do with you?But even if you have something to do with it, why can't you say it well? Why do you have to choose this way to end your life?
And leave me alone.

Mom, it's you who are so stupid, it's you who love too deeply.

A bouquet of red roses was placed in front of the mother's grave. It seemed that the father had really been there, huh, not too heartless.I turned my head to look at Wang Junkai, his eyes staring at the tombstone seemed to be covered with snow, with indescribable sadness.

I also felt sad all of a sudden.

"What's wrong with you?" I watched him speak but he still didn't speak, didn't even want to say what's wrong? "Huh? Wang Junkai?"

"It's nothing." He shook his head, glanced at me and smiled sadly.

"That's right, my mother died in that car accident five years ago, are you thinking about this?" I smiled lightly, and I could only laugh when I was so sad.

That’s right, the car accident five years ago caused a lot of uproar, it’s strange if you don’t know it, if Wang Junkai was born in this city, he must have heard of it, tsk tsk, does this posture of silent facial paralysis mean to sympathize with me?
Wang Junkai, I'm not as fragile as you think, and I don't need to put away your pity.

It turns out I was thinking too much.

"Xu Luo, I think that a person like you would be born into a very happy family."

"It was true when that woman didn't show up." I nodded to express my agreement with his point of view, but I think he made a mistake somewhere. A cold person like me is more like a victim of this kind of family, right?

An appendage of a broken family.

"Xu Luo, don't be like this." My heart, which was originally stagnant, became a little turbulent because of his words. I looked up at him who was a head taller than me, and looked at those eyes without any complicated thoughts. , I suddenly became a little sad, and his beauty with clean eyes and a clean heart made me feel ashamed.

Wang Junkai, if only I met you sooner.

Then I won't be like this.

I didn't answer any more. I squatted down and put down the umbrella in my hand. The rain dripped on my body with a little chill. Wang Junkai came up in time to cover the naughty rain. Mom, look Someone protects me from the rain, and he is the first person besides you and Ah Jiu.

I reached out to touch the tombstone. If it was a little smoother, maybe I would feel in a daze that I was touching my mother's face, but the cold moment reminded me that your mother is indeed dead, and you are indeed separated from each other.

I carefully placed the flowers in front of the tombstone, and after thinking for a moment, I knelt down, and my knees were in contact with the soaked ground, feeling a chill in my heart.

"Mom. I finally came to see you."

"Mom. Forgive me."

Tears flowed down like that, dripping on her grave with the rain.

Sure enough, I still...can't bear that.

It turns out that this kind of reluctance is contagious, and it makes me contaminate this kind of thinking with everyone who is close to me.

Reluctant, it is really the deadliest thing in this world.

He was silent, and I was also silent. This kneeling seemed to be a ritual, it seemed to make up for the guilt I felt towards my mother over the years, and it seemed to wash away the grievance and indifference in my heart.

"Tears are diamonds, so precious."

"So it's only for the people I love so much." I responded to Wang Junkai's voice.

The fact is also like this, it is easy to cry when you care deeply, but the first reason is because you met each other.

[Phase [-]/Original Work: Min Luo/To be continued]
　Today topic:
　　#One thing I want to do most#
　　Answer: Go to Zhengzhou to see Ma Jiaqi, go to Chongqing to see Xiaojun and Yuaner, and go to Qianxi's bed/laugh.

　　I am very close to Zhengzhou. ????
　　
　
(End of this chapter)