If you are still together when you wake up

Chapter 13 Word Association
When the TV station came out, Su Ruhao was waiting for her downstairs. Seeing her look a little dazed, he couldn't help touching her forehead: "What's the matter? Are you uncomfortable?" He asked again, "How did the talk go?"

She couldn't remember what he was talking about for a while, so she asked back, "What are you talking about?"

He frowned, as if he was a little surprised that she was absent-minded at the moment, but he still said patiently: "The show, do you still want to do it?"

"Oh...they can't find a replacement for a while, and they may have to do it for a while." Xia Huixi found a reason casually, and sighed a little upset, "I'm going back to school, and I have an appointment with Director Peng to give a speech thing."

He turned the car and heard her breathing softly when she leaned over: "Are you free this Sunday? Let's go to a charity event, shall we?"

Speaking of this, she seemed to be in a better mood, smiling with crooked eyebrows, her face soft and bright, she thought for a while: "It won't work on Saturday. I have an appointment with CRIX for psychological counseling. Just Sunday Bar."

The brake was a little urgent, Xia Huixi's body was strangled by the seat belt, and he leaned back on the back of the seat, so he couldn't help telling him: "Be careful when driving."

In fact, her complexion is very magnanimous, perhaps because she just took off her makeup, her complexion is crystal clear and transparent, from his point of view, the eyelashes at the end of her eyes are long and curled up, very beautiful.

He smiled apologetically, looking casually at the people passing by on the sidewalk in front of the car: "Pei Yueze?"

Xia Huixi laughed softly: "Do you still remember? Are you jealous?"

The corners of his eyes twitched slightly, he couldn't help laughing, and denied: "No."

"It's fine if you don't have one." Xia Huixi changed the topic thoughtfully, "Actually, he is very interesting. I think many times... like a mystery."

When she said this, her tone slowly slowed down.As if thinking about it, and as if facing some challenge, he pondered for a while, as if there was a broken diamond in his eyes, which fell into the eyes like clear water, like stars.

Su Ruhao gave her a complicated look, and finally pursed her lips slightly: "If you think this is hard work, then quit."

His tone was very light, like a spring breeze touching the surface of a slightly turbulent river, like catkins drifting away on a long branch.But for some reason, in such a small space, she vaguely felt a kind of unbearable oppression and intensity, as if saying this sentence, for him, had put in an unimaginable effort.

She couldn't help reminding him: "The light is green."

As calm as him, in the short few minutes today, he has lost his mind several times.Xia Huixi could only guess what he was thinking, and finally shook his head slightly: "Su Ruhao, don't you like me going to see Pei Yueze?"

He didn't speak, but a faint smile formed on the corner of his mouth.

"I can't give up this job for the time being. It's because... I don't know why, I think there is something wrong with him... But I can't confirm anything at the moment. You know, it may be because I have committed an old problem again? In my eyes , Pei Yueze... is no different from that guest on the show, no matter what the result of my meddling is... I always wonder if I can help them in the end. "

He drove the car into the traffic flow, and his face softened: "I didn't think about it that much, just because I was afraid of your hard work. Of course I have no objection if you want to continue."

On Saturday afternoon, as precise as an alarm clock, the secretary invited Xia Huixi into Pei Yueze's office with a smile on his face.

The past few times were not at his office, so only today did she understand how busy Pei Yueze's work is.He didn't even raise his head, and said casually, "Sit down for a while, I'll be fine soon."

It was probably a video conference, she could hear the clear voice transmission, and Pei Yueze held a pen in his hand, seemed to be unconsciously tapping on the table, and quickly said in a foreign language: "That's it for today."

His office was very dark, the curtains were pulled up by the master, and the velvet-like heavy drapes fell down, just like the ones he had seen before, nothing changed.It wasn't until he pulled the chair in front of his desk and sat down that he half turned around, put down the pen in his hand, and looked at her carefully: "It seems that she is in good spirits."

Xia Huixi smiled: "You too. Are you feeling better?"

In such light, his fingers were long and white, and he rubbed them gently between his eyebrows: "It's okay. I've been like this since I was a child. I'm too tired, and I might have a fever."

This time Xia Huixi went into battle lightly. She seemed to have forgotten the harsh words she had spoken to him that night outside the hospital. Looking at the handsome young man in front of her, she slowly said, "Before we start, I have something to say." .”

Pei Yueze leaned back a little tired, narrowed his eyes slightly, and said in a half-truthful tone: "It doesn't need to be so formal, just chat casually. You know, opportunities to communicate with each other are rare."

"The TV station, did you say hello for me?"

His handsome eyebrows were folded, his eyes were like two bottomless pools of water, unfathomable.He seemed to be a little confused, "What's the matter? They still make things difficult for you?"

Although she tried her best to prepare mentally, Xia Huixi still felt a little frightened when she was personally confirmed.

She smiled as naturally as possible: "No. But... You seem to be helping the wrong person. I really want to quit that job. By doing this, you will not only make it difficult for them, but also embarrass me. "

There is a clock somewhere in the office, and the sound of ticking, ticking slowly comes from the dark, as if it can drown people.

Xia Huixi continued, breaking the silence at the moment: "Also, I want to ask you, why do you help me like this?"

His eyes never deviated even the slightest bit, he stared at her expression, and suddenly smiled: "Is it only to me that you are so rude and rude?"

That smile was full of connivance and affection, Xia Huixi was startled, obviously at a loss.

But he didn't take it seriously, he propped his chin up with one hand, and a simple silver cuff button on the cuff exuded a faint light.His voice was slow and steady: "I originally thought that fame and fortune, no matter what it is, can always bind a person to some extent. Obviously - you are not that kind of person."

She looked at him, noticed his words, and said lightly: "Restraint?"

"Restraint..." He paused hesitantly, "Xia Huixi..."

It was the first time that she uttered her name so clearly, which made Pei Yueze feel a strange feeling in his heart. It seemed uncomfortable and lingering, and finally said with a smile: "But it doesn't matter. If you don't like it, don't do it."

He added in a low voice: "As long as you like it...whether you want to see how big this world is, or if you don't want to do anything...I'm up to you."

As if he had changed into a different person, his eyes were more intense than ever before, staring directly at the woman in front of him, as if he wanted to devour her into the depths of his heart.His gaze was so deep and bewitching, Xia Huixi sat there, unable to move, feeling that even a slight movement of his fingertips would be the most difficult thing for him.

Fortunately, he didn't do anything else, he just looked away and lowered his head inadvertently, the kind of stalemate that seemed to have magical power was slowly relieved.Xia Huixi felt a little uncomfortable because of her inability to speak just now, and she didn't want to care about his nonsense, so she could only turn her head away, took out the recording pen from her bag, and frowned again: "Since you said If you don’t know, forget it.”

He didn't mention it anymore, and his expression was full of interest: "What are you going to do today?"

"Don't do anything, let's play a little game. You know, psychological counseling is just to teach people how to relax and relieve stress." She didn't tell the truth, nor did she say that this is a kind of psychological test, but mentioned it vaguely It can be extremely relaxing and fun, and simply say, "Just relax and say what comes to mind."

Pei Yueze was still smiling and didn't ask any more questions. He turned on a lamp on the wall casually. The light was bright and warm. He could see her soft and black forehead hair brushed by the sideburns, clearly outlining the gentle curve.His heart was unusually soft, so he nodded and said, "I said I should cooperate with you well. How do you play?"

"It's very simple. I say a word, and then you answer the first impression that the word associates in your mind. For example, if I say banana, if you think of apple, then say apple."

He glanced at her calmly, his eyes were very detailed, as if he was weighing her true thoughts, and finally nodded: "Sounds very simple."

Xia Huixi lowered her head and opened her notebook, the corner of her mouth curled slightly: "Then it begins."

"Banana." - "Apple."

"Airplane." - "Meeting."

……

Generally speaking, for such word association, the number of phrases that need to be prepared is about 100.Because it was the first time, Xia Huixi could only choose words that seemed to be related to his work and life as much as possible.The choice of these phrases alone took her a lot of time and energy.

At present, it seems that his reaction speed is quick and his responses are very normal, and there is nothing worth noting.

Xia Huixi continued to read according to the glossary, and suddenly changed his mind, saw a statue of an angel placed in front of his cabinet, and blurted out:

"Angel."

-

He froze for a moment, maybe it was too fluent, a broken syllable escaped from his lips:

"Xuan..."

It was only then that he realized that he lowered his head and smiled, "Sorry, let's do it all over again."

Xia Huixi didn't mind either: "It's okay, let's do it again."

"Angel." - "Religion."

She shrugged slightly, noncommittal to his response: "Take a break, the second group will be in a while."

After finishing the three sets of tests, Xia Huixi looked at the time. An hour and a half had passed. She sorted out the data and wanted to stand up and leave: "Should we come here today?"

However, he was only half standing up, but he stood up very quickly, walked quickly to her, leaned close to her in a semi-oppressive manner, condescending, his eyes were sharp and clear, as if he could grasp her thoughts completely.

"Is it fun?" There was a little teasing in his tone, and because he was so close to her, his slightly parted lips were moist, and his eyes were shining like night stars, "What do you see? Peeping Is there a secret?"

Xia Huixi fell back into the chair in embarrassment, tried her best to avoid his ubiquitous aura, and smiled awkwardly: "What spying?"

That handsome face was magnified in front of her again and again, but no one could find any flaws.He still refused to let him go, just turned his face, and said in an extremely ambiguous and deep voice: "I have normal reasoning ability. What was just now was not a game...was it a test? Tell me...how much I have been exposed secret?"

"Is this game easy? Can it decompress me?" She still didn't speak, but he pressed harder and harder, "You know, I feel very tired fighting against the first reaction..."

Xia Huixi froze in place, feeling that her breath was broken into pieces, as if the breath was being choked by someone, and she couldn't spit it out all at once, it was extremely unsmooth.In the blink of an eye, before she even figured out why, the situation between the two suddenly became like this.Thinking about it carefully, she didn't really lie to him, she just deliberately confused the concept of the test.And she didn't tell him that this was a psychological test, but also to make him relax and make the test results more appropriate to his real psychological state.

He was calm, but he knew everything.

To be honest, Xia Huixi was not without anger in his heart.This kind of anger is similar to a little bit of embarrassment after being taken away from the dominance or being seen through.

She stared at Pei Yueze intently, and could almost distinguish her own small shadow in his black pupils. Finally, she reached out and pushed him on the shoulder, and said calmly: "It is impossible for me to be in a situation where I don't understand a person's mental state at all." You can complete the psychological counseling in just a few minutes. In this regard, you are very uncooperative. Therefore, I think similar tests are necessary."

Pei Yueze finally got up and left her, leaning on the mahogany desk behind her, half a meter away from her, taking in her every move, with a slight hook on the corner of his mouth: "You really look like a child. Don't you just say something casually in the hospital?" Did you say that you are not professional enough? Why, now you want to prove it to me?"

Xia Huixi turned her face slightly, her slender fingertips inadvertently overlapped in front of her.She really didn't want to explain that she had started preparing for this association test a long time ago, and it had nothing to do with the anger that day. Finally, the leather chair under her body slid back slightly, and she stood up lightly: "I don't have to Explain this to you. Please let me know a few days in advance of your next consultation."

Standing alone in the elevator, Xia Huixi leaned against the wall tiredly, her temples were a little sore.She pressed it, as if she wanted to get rid of those messy thoughts.I don't know why, when talking to Pei Yueze, I always feel a little impetuous, perhaps because the other party is too moody, and I have to guard against his sudden and unexpected behavior.

The entire CRIX building seemed very quiet, with only a few security guards patrolling quietly downstairs.Just as she was about to go out the side door, she saw the commotion in the square in front of the building, so she couldn't help but look around.

A young security guard beside him muttered, "It's that crazy woman again." He looked up and saw Xia Huixi's puzzled gaze, and added, "Come to make trouble every day. It was probably taken away by 110 just now."

Hearing it in his ears, Xia Huixi didn't care because he was thinking about other things.She quickly got out of the subway station and went straight to the office.

The college office was also empty on weekends.

After turning on the air conditioner and taking off his jacket, Xia Huixi connected the recording pen to the computer and copied the folder to the computer hard disk.When I opened it, I felt it was a mess, and I didn't want to sort it out for a while.She opened today's data and began to analyze it.

Pause, record, calculate... After sorting out the three sets of vocabulary tests, Xia Huixi stretched his sore neck, held a cup of tea and stood at the window, looking at the gradually darkening Nantah campus.

The night shadow hovered over the campus like a vulture, inadvertently making tentative sprints, sprinkling the thick fog under its wings to the entire world below.

The figures of the students on the green-shaded avenue are already hazy, and the two or three seem to be a group of black shadows passing by. From such a distance, those laughter and laughter are like incomprehensible characters and syllables. eardrum.

The green tea between her fingers has slowly turned cold. She watched and listened, but actually didn't leave a deep impression on her mind.On the contrary, the analysis made by myself is still vivid in my mind.

She turned around again, facing the form on the table, several keywords, and several abnormal time records.

Test word: angel—reflection word: xuan (after a conscious revision, it was changed to "religion", but the reaction time was still five times the normal time)
Test word: fever - Response word: white (reaction time is three times normal)
Test word: Depression - Response word: Death (reaction time three times normal)
Test word: Kiss - Response word: Love (reaction time [-] times normal)
Test word: death - Response word: despair (reaction time four times normal)
With three hundred words, most of the content appeared to be quite normal.It can be seen that Pei Yueze's psychological control ability is indeed extremely strong under conscious conditions.

But... there are at least five exceptions.

Xia Huixi looked at the five words in front of her and smiled involuntarily.People's subconscious reactions are still innate.Even though he has tried his best to control it, there is still a small gap that allows him to explore a little bit.

She propped her jaw and looked at the paper over and over again.

Angels...fever...depression...kiss...death...

What do these words mean to him?

Originally, it was agreed to go to a public welfare activity with the students on Sunday morning, because I received a call from Director Peng temporarily and asked me to go to the hospital office to collect materials, so Xia Huixi did not go with the team, and went to the office alone to find the tutor .

Professor Peng looked up from the manuscript and saw Xia Huixi, and beckoned: "I have read your outline. It is very good. This topic is quite convenient, and the material review on the historical part is well done. The slightly problematic part is the later Part. Do you think...the application part of modern times still lacks experimental data?"

The question was asked in a deliberative tone, always gentle and never put on airs, which is also the cuteness of this old professor.

What he was referring to was the abstract of the thesis that Xia Huixi was about to submit to an academic forum. The content was to compare and analyze the curative effect of the pouring method in modern psychology and the religious confession system in the Middle Ages.

After preparing more than half of the materials, looking back, I really feel that the modern and contemporary discourses are a little weak. Xia Huixi frowned and sighed helplessly: "I know this, but there is really no first-hand information to analyze."

Professor Peng lowered his head slightly, looked through the lens habitually, and landed on the student's face, then smiled: "I have some information on this. I specially called you here to let you take a look first. The article should be useful."

Xia Huixi held her breath slightly. Hearing the sound of paper rustling in the silent room, she was very pleasantly surprised: "Mr. Peng, have you ever done an experiment on this project? How come I never knew about it?"

"One or two years ago, this project was always being done by a senior brother under my guidance. After several rounds of experiments, the results were not as expected, and there were some problems with the funding, so I put it aside. Seeing you A thesis outline comes to mind.”

The old man has never been stingy with helping his students and juniors.With valuable first-hand academic materials, I have always been willing to share them instead of hiding them privately.In terms of both academics and character, he is indeed an excellent personality model for the psychology department of Nantah University.

He motioned Xia Huixi to pass the stack of materials to himself, took out a few pages and handed them to Xia Huixi, and explained simply: "The effect of talking therapy has been weakening, which is related to the gradual loss of religious consciousness of modern people. Relationship. How to break the patient’s psychological defense awareness and how to make them willing to face their own hearts are all difficult problems. They cannot be solved in a short time. Look, these are all failure cases.”

The numbered cases one by one are all about the subjects of the experiment at that time.Because the experimental results were not good, most of them returned to the original treatment method.

Xia Huixi looked at ten lines at a glance, nodded and said: "The method adopted in the experiment at that time was to isolate the audience and let the patients hide behind the curtain to tell the story. However, the subjects still seemed unable to fully participate. This has nothing to do with their concerns about their privacy. It doesn't matter."

Peng Ze agreed: "The experiment was very difficult. Especially the effect was very unsatisfactory. So in the end, I also decided to give up this attempt. The previous information has never been used."

Xia Huixi put the stack of documents into her bag, and said sincerely to her instructor, "Thank you."

The old man was buried in his stack of documents again, and he waved his hand casually: "It's nothing. Today is Sunday, where are you going to date?"

……

Xia Huixi suddenly felt a little hot on his face, stood up and said with some embarrassment: "No... there is a psychological assistance activity today, I plan to go and see it."

That's what I said, but when I finally arrived at the meeting place - a school for the children of migrant workers in this city, it was still very late.

It happened to be lunch time, and volunteers were distributing nutritious meals.Fish, meat and vegetables, plus a portion of milk, the children who received the meal went back to their classrooms, looking very well-behaved.

Some students saw Xia Huixi and greeted her loudly: "Brother Su is in the next classroom."

Group after group of children passed by, most of them did not look as clean and beautiful as the children in the city today.They don't have expensive and fashionable clothes, and they don't look like proud and delicate little princes or princesses.Even so, the little faces are still innocent and clear-eyed.They were holding lunch boxes, talking and laughing happily with their companions, their eyes sparkling like fine agate.

Feeling vaguely touched by something in her heart, Xia Huixi stood there in a daze for a long time, until a child bumped into her, and said in a panicked voice, "Sister, I'm sorry."

She shook her head quickly: "It's okay." She took a few steps forward and pushed open the back door of that classroom.

It was very quiet in the classroom.

Su Ruhao's back was always very tall and straight, but at this moment, he was sitting between the narrow desks, and deliberately bent down slightly, looking at the little girl opposite him face to face, talking in a low voice.

She couldn't see his face, but could only see the little girl's apple-like face, looking at Su Ruhao, full of intimacy and trust.

Su Ruhao said something in a low voice, and the little girl nodded with a clear and bright voice: "I will. Big brother, let me show you the picture I drew yesterday, okay?"

Just like treating a younger sister or a little daughter at home, Su Ruhao's voice was filled with warmth, and he stretched out his hand to touch her head, and said gently: "After eating first, let's see painting."

The little girl began to eat obediently, without saying a word.He was still watching her, motionless.Xia Huixi could see the outline of his profile, which was unusually gentle and handsome.

She became more and more reluctant to break such a gentle and beautiful scene, and just wanted to watch quietly, but Su Ruhao turned around very naturally, found her with eyes, and smiled faintly at the corner of her mouth: "When did you come here?" ?”

Xia Huixi felt startled, she walked over slowly: "How do you know I'm here?"

He didn't answer, pointing to the glass window.

Seeing her figure approaching little by little, Xia Huixi suddenly smiled, and couldn't help but say, "You already knew?"

But he didn't answer, and introduced to the little girl beside him: "This sister's surname is Xia, come, let's get acquainted."

"My name is Liu Yuanyuan." She looked timidly, like a chick that had just hatched, with curiosity and shyness, "Hello, sister."

Xia Huixi also sat down, seemed to know her nervousness, and tried to say in a pleasant manner, "Nice to meet you."

"Yuanyuan's grades are very good, and she has accepted the scholarship on behalf of the school, right?" Although Su Ruhao was talking to Xia Huixi, her tone seemed to sweep the soft fluff into the human body The bottom of my heart is warm and harmonious.The little girl blushed slightly, took a few mouthfuls of rice and remained silent.

"scholarship?"

He thought about it for a while, but before he could answer, the little girl had already said, "It was an uncle who donated money to our school, and there were a lot of people taking pictures that day. The teacher said there were people from the TV station."

Xia Huixi quickly took a look at Su Ruhao, as if he was a little dazed, but after a while, he turned his face and said to the little girl with a smile, "Really? You must have excellent grades to be a representative."

The little girl was probably a little embarrassed, and said in a low voice: "The teacher asked me to go. I also recited a long paragraph, thank you to those uncles who are in charge."

A dull sound.

It turned out that the bag that was on the chair aside fell to the ground.Xia Huixi bent down to pick it up, because the desk was really short, and it was inevitable that two adults would feel a little crowded sitting together, so her fingers brushed over the back of Su Ruhao's hand, which was as cold as the bleak cold outside the window. wind.

He was startled, and subconsciously held it back, his palm was warm, as if he wanted to try to warm her, but the other hand stretched out as if nothing had happened, and patted Yuanyuan's little head affectionately: "It's because the teacher likes you very much. Honorable. Huh?"

The last syllable is extraordinarily gentle, as if pulling out a long and slow airflow in the air, and soothing the strangeness in the bottom of the heart.

Xia Huixi turned her head involuntarily to look at him.But he didn't turn his head back, and looked at the little girl with a slight smile, with a patient tone: "Has Yuanyuan ever been to Phoenix Happy Valley? Next time, brother and sister will take you there to play, okay?"

He didn't mind letting Xia Huixi look at this childish and serious agreement, and even hooked fingers with the little girl.

"But... Dad said that we will go back to our hometown for the New Year in a few days..."

"It's okay, let's go again after the Chinese New Year, okay?"

Su Ruhao's left hand was still firmly clasping Xia Huixi, and he turned his head again, his tone was much gentler than usual: "Are you going?"

The way she looked at her seemed to be looking at the little girl. Xia Huixi's heart stopped for a lot of love and warmth. She was speechless for a moment, and finally agreed to him involuntarily: "Well, of course."

He was still staring at her, his gaze was a little cautious, but it seemed to be more gentle and pity.Xia Huixi could really hear her own heartbeat, beating, beating again, as if those things hidden deep in her heart were about to come out vigorously.But in the end, she just pursed her lips and smiled without speaking.

Liu Yuanyuan had already finished her meal, looked at them curiously, tilted her head and said, "Brother and sister, I'll go get you some pictures."

They said in unison, "Okay."

After the afternoon activities, Su Ruhao sent her back to school.The car drove into the gate of Nantah University, and was about to turn to the staff dormitory, Xia Huixi suddenly called him: "I'm going to the office."

In fact, it's not time for dinner yet. She wanted to hurry up and sort out the materials. Knowing that Su Ruhao had made an appointment with her tutor to discuss the project at night, she didn't want to keep him: "Go and eat by yourself, I'll go up first."

I don't know why, but my heart is always in a trance, so that after reading the materials that Director Peng gave me, I can't figure it out.Xia Huixi sighed, remembering Liu Yuanyuan's timid and soft tone: "...I also recited a long passage, thank you to those leading uncles."

In the heart of a child who is as small as a crystal, do you also feel that those so-called "thanks" are a bit weird?
Xia Huixi lowered her head, turned on the desk lamp, and thought of Su Ruhao's words and eyes again... Does he know something?My mind suddenly became complicated, as if I didn't know whether to feel comforted or cowardly.

After pausing for a long time on the messy desk, Xia Huixi took out her work diary again.

Experienced analysts have said that it is necessary to use all your intelligence and associations in order to penetrate the inner world of your patient.Don't be afraid of going astray, because with the abundance of data, prejudices and mistakes can be corrected until the only cause is found.

As if to sort out her thoughts and clues, she whispered softly, "Angel...fever...depression...kiss...death..."

The office is empty.Although Xia Huixi felt that talking to herself was a bit silly, she still decided to try the method similar to making up her own story.

One of them is easy to understand—"The fever must be referring to himself, because his body is prone to fever. But what about whiteness? Does it mean that when he is sick, he will think of the hospital, and the symbol of the hospital is white..."

"Angel... kiss... these two images can be put together. The response word is love... There must have been an image of a beautiful person in his life, maybe their relationship is still very close."

"Depression...death. Could it be that the person died of depression...or because it was rumored that a patient died of CRIX's antidepressant drug, he would have such an association?"

"Oh, no. Maybe that's the case..."

When he was about to continue talking, there was a slight sound at the door.

Xia Huixi stopped talking in a hurry, and saw a slender figure at the door.He was wearing a dark coffee-colored windbreaker, his facial features were hidden in the dark, and he didn't know how long he had been seeing her go crazy.

She coughed awkwardly.

Su Ruhao's eyes were deep and filled with a smile: "What are you talking to yourself?"

(End of this chapter)