curse

Chapter 30

Bai Bi's mother was still sitting quietly on the bench, with a serene expression and soft eyes. She slowly raised her head, looked at the flock of pigeons flying by in the sky, and said softly, "You've lost weight."

"It's okay, some troublesome things have happened recently." The person who answered was Wen Haogu, wearing a very rare suit, sitting next to Bai Bi's mother, looking into her eyes.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Bai Bi's mother said with a slight smile.

"No, I just feel that you haven't changed much in all these years. And I'm already old. Fen, do you still remember when we first met Zhengqiu?"

The autumn wind blew through the quiet garden, slowed down under the rockery, and gently brushed her still black hair. She stared at the last flowers in the flowerbed thoughtfully, and said quietly: "Of course Remember, remember clearly, we were only 19 years old at that time, and you and Zheng Qiu were the best boys at that time."

"No, I'm no good. Only Zhengqiu is the best. He is much luckier than me. Do you know why he is luckier than me? Because he married you, Fen."

She suddenly felt a little sad, and said hastily: "Stop talking, is he lucky? He died at the age of 40."

"No, he is free." Wen Haogu said in an envious tone, "and I stayed, alone, in this world to continue to suffer, grow old, become ugly, until death came. And Zhengqiu Then enjoy eternal happiness in another world, Fern, who is luckier after all?"

"I don't know which of you is more fortunate, but at least, I am unlucky."

"I'm sorry, Fen." Wen Haogu said lightly.

"That's enough, don't talk about it. You said that some troublesome things have happened recently. Is it because of Jiang He's death?" Bai Bi's mother suddenly asked him.

"Well, it turns out that Bai Bi has already told you about this matter. Originally, in the past few days, you could see your daughter getting married, which would definitely make you very happy, but now, you have to bear it with your daughter. It hurts." He sighed softly.

"My daughter also asked me about the fact that my father and I went to Lop Nur for archaeology 20 years ago."

Wen Haogu's expression changed suddenly, and he asked nervously, "Fen, did you tell her?"

She shook her head and said softly: "I only said that we came back from the ancient city of Loulan, and then I suddenly remembered that terrible thing, and my spirit immediately collapsed. Do you know? Don't look at me like this, everything is normal now, but once When you are stimulated, you will immediately get sick, and once you get sick, you don't know anything."

"It's not fair to you." Wen Haogu said to himself with a sad expression.

"Forget it, after so many years, I'm used to it, how is the research institute doing?"

Wen Haogu raised his head, looked into her eyes, hesitated for a long time before saying lightly: "It's nothing, it's still the same as in the past." Talking about the terrible things that happened recently stimulated her fragile nerves.

"You lied to me."

"Fen, what did you say?" Wen Haogu's heart suddenly trembled, he knew he couldn't hide it.

"From your face, I can see that there must be something wrong, and this matter makes you sleepless, but if you don't want to tell me, it's up to you." The corner of her mouth smiled slightly.

Wen Haogu nodded, and suddenly said in a tone as if saying goodbye on his deathbed: "Fen, maybe this is the last time I will see you."

"why?"

"No, I don't know, I can't tell you. I mean, I want to see you all the time, but if I leave this world forever, I won't be able to see you again." His tone was heavy, as if Slowly sank into the sand.

"no, I can not."

"Fen, I'm leaving. If I don't come to see you anymore, forget me forever." Wen Haogu stood up and left here quickly.

Suddenly, Bai Bi's mother's voice came from behind: "You will come back."

Wen Haogu didn't answer, turned a corner, and left her sight, but his steps became heavier and heavier, and finally he walked out of the gate of the mental hospital slowly with his head down.

"Director Wen." A young woman's voice called him.

Only then did he realize that it was Bai Bi who was walking towards the gate.

"Bai Bi, it's such a coincidence that you also came to see your mother?" Wen Hao Gu Qiang said cheerfully.

Bai Bi seemed a little surprised and embarrassed, she didn't know what to say, she just said lightly: "Director Wen, thank you for taking care of our family and my mother for so many years."

"Ah, it's nothing, go in quickly, your mother is in good spirits now, she will be very happy to see you. I'll go first, goodbye." Wen Haogu said goodbye to Bai Bi and walked across the road. When I looked back, Bai Bi was no longer visible at the gate of the mental hospital.His heart suddenly became tense, and he knew the reason for his nervousness.

Bai Bi walked slowly through the small garden and came to her mother's bench. She squatted down in front of her mother, looking straight into her mother's eyes, as if trying to find some treasure in her eyes.

"Sit down, daughter."

Bai Bi obediently sat beside her mother, stretched out her hand to hold her mother's hand, and said softly, "Mom, your hands are so warm."

"It's late autumn now, the weather is already cold, daughter, you have to take care of yourself, don't freeze."

Bai Bi nodded.

Mother continued: "Did you see your Uncle Wen when you came in just now?"

"I saw it."

Mother sighed: "It's not easy for him, he has been taking care of us, you can't forget him."

"Mom, I remember."

Mother suddenly remembered something and asked Bai Bi, "What time is it?"

Bai Bi looked at his watch and replied: "It's exactly 3 o'clock."

"Well, she's coming soon."

"Who is coming soon?" Bai Bi didn't understand.

"It's me." A woman's voice sounded from behind them.Bai Bi turned her head, and it turned out to be the mother's patient friend, the poetess.

The mother said: "Daughter, now she comes to read a long poem to me at 3 o'clock every afternoon, and it has become her habit."

The poetess sat beside her mother in a flowered dress, and said with a smile, "Hello, Bai Bi, you are here again. Your mother is so lucky to have a daughter like you. Today I will read the long poem for your mother. The title of the poem is "The Waste Land" and the author is Eliot."

"Eliot's 'The Wasteland'?" Bai Bi suddenly thought of the "The Wasteland" transcribed in the notebook he found in Jiang He's drawer.

"Have you heard of it? This is my favorite poem, and I can recite the whole poem. Well, I'm going to read it now—"

The female poet reads from the first stanza "Funeral of the Dead" to the last stanza "Words of Thunder".What surprised Bai Bi was that the poetess actually recited the whole text, without reading a single word, she read it directly from her mouth.Although Bai Bi didn't know whether the "Wasteland" recited by the poetess was all word for word, but at least she could hear the artistic conception of the poetess.The poetess's voice is somewhat masculine, deep and thick, but she is also able to pull it up when she should, especially the lines—"Burn, burn, burn, Lord, you put I pull it out / Lord you pull it out".Those few consecutive words, burning like flames, spewed out from her mouth, Bai Bi could hear the emotion contained in the poetess, which was the emotion of despair. It was an earth-shattering death for love back then.Perhaps Eliot is also in the same despair, and now this despair seems to have begun to cover Bai Bi's heart, until the last few lines of the whole poem, she seems to have witnessed the desolation in the depths of her heart from the poetess' words world.

After reading the whole poem, Bai Bi was still immersed in the female poet's recitation, and it took her a long time to gradually recover. She said with admiration: "You recited so well, you can go to the radio station to recite it."

"It's too late. More than ten years ago, I recited my own poems on the radio." The poetess said lightly.

Bai Bi looked at her mother again, and suddenly realized that her mother's eyes were staring at the distance motionlessly. She thought, maybe her mother was as intoxicated in the verses of "The Waste Land" as she was herself.

"Mom, mom." Bai Bi called her.

Mother's expression suddenly became agitated, she seemed to be deeply infected by the poem just now.Looking at his mother's appearance, Bai Bi suddenly felt uneasy. Could it be that "The Waste Land" reminded his mother of something?While hesitating, my mother suddenly stood up, staring blankly at the front, and said softly, "I saw it, I saw the wasteland, it's there, it's there—"

"Where is it?" the poetess also stood up and asked.

Mother stretched out her hand and pointed to the flowers in front of her. Some unknown red flowers were trembling slightly in the autumn wind, and they might fade away soon.

"Mom, it's just a bunch of flowers." Bai Bi held her mother's body tightly, she was very worried.

"No, it's the wasteland, I saw it." The mother said stubbornly, with a strange tone as if she was telling a distant relative on the phone what she saw right in front of her eyes, "Yes, it's right there, in front of her." On the edge of the wilderness, there is a woman with a long red skirt, a white face, and big black eyes, she is smiling at us, look at her, she is smiling so beautifully."

"Mom, there's nothing ahead."

"No, I saw it—ah, and, listen, did you hear that? It says this—on your 40th birthday, a curse will fall on you, and you won't live past 40." age."

After speaking, the mother suddenly burst into tears. She lowered her head, sat down on the chair again, and cried like a child.Bai Bi felt really scared. She hugged her mother's body tightly. The mother and daughter hugged each other trembling and weeping heartily, just like the night after their father's accident more than 40 years ago.

It took Bai Bi and the female poet half an hour to get her mother back to the ward and help her to sleep.After her mother fell asleep, the poetess said apologetically: "I'm sorry, I didn't know that the poem "The Wasteland" would bring so much excitement to your mother."

"It doesn't matter, maybe she recalled the years in the desolate Lop Nur."

"Actually, your mother always likes to hear me read poems to her. Yesterday I read "The Cemetery by the Sea" to her. After listening to it, she liked it very much, and her spirits improved a lot. Reciting such a good poem will help the adjustment of the mind and the recovery of the disease. Perhaps, a poem with sentimentality like "The Wasteland" is not suitable for our patients."

"thank you for your kindness."

"Your mother just said there that she saw the wilderness, but it was just some flowers. She also said that there was a woman. The last sentence was the scariest. She said that there would be a curse on her 40th birthday. Could it be that this is all from her past? Remember?"

"I don't know, and I can't understand what she said. Maybe it's because my father died in a car accident on his 40th birthday. My father's death was witnessed by my mother and I. For my mother It was a big blow." However, Bai Bi kept repeating the words his mother had said in his heart, especially the two words - curse.

"You are such a poor child." The poetess said pitifully, but she suddenly thought of something, "I don't know if I should tell you something. A man in his 50s came here today, and he often Is it possible that the visit to see your mother has something to do with him?"

"He is my parents' best colleague and friend, and he has always taken good care of us."

"It seems to be more than taking care of it, it seems that the relationship is very close. Okay, let's not talk, let's not talk." The female poet suddenly stopped there.

Bai Bi could see the hidden ambiguity from her eyes, Bai Bi didn't want to say anything more, looked at his mother again, thanked the poetess, and left here.But she didn't walk out of the gate directly, and ran to the place where her mother was sitting in the garden just now. Bai Bi carefully looked at the unknown cluster of small red flowers pointed by her mother in front of her. There are small trees and green grass, and after that is the wall, nothing special.Looking at these flowers, she suddenly seemed to realize something, and the color of these flowers was like the color of the red dress worn by a woman.

Walking out of the gate of the mental hospital, Bai Bi thought about the last words his mother said. Could it be that the car accident that happened to his father on his 40th birthday was not an accident, but predestined?Could it be that the curse has already fallen on the top of the father?Because of this, Jiang He was not the first, let alone the last.Was the father the first, or was there someone earlier than the father?Bai Bi recalled everything that happened in the summer night when he was 10 years old, the dream and the woman in the dream, the strange words, and the death of his father.Perhaps, all of this originated from that wilderness.

With the westerly wind blowing through her hair, she thought, if only she could smell the faraway wastes on the wind.

(End of this chapter)