In and out of marriage

Chapter 130 It's Nice to Have Someone Pain (2)
Zhang Xiaosha couldn't accept this sudden fact, her head was buzzing, she didn't know what to say now, because she felt that it would be very powerless to say anything now.

That person does not exist.

There is no such thing as protecting the country in the dark in the army.

Then who is the person who trains them to do things?

"Ha...haha..." Zhang Xiaosha suddenly wanted to laugh.

Shen Feifei and Lu Shao didn't say it was okay, but once she finished speaking, she also felt that the matter was very strange, making people think that she was the biggest fool in the world, after being played around by others, she still felt that what she did was very meaningful thing.

Zhang Xiaosha, what are you doing now?
After all, you are nothing at all, are you?
Those things, you think you are doing for the country, in the end, the country doesn't even know.

The only thing you have ever done was done with the quota given by Uncle He.

What are you without him?Without Shen Feifan, what are you?

you are nothing.

Hahaha, so you are nothing.

You are nothing more than a person who only kills Dad, an indirect murderer.

"Zhang Xiaosha, we need to investigate the matter clearly, and it's not your fault." Seeing that Zhang Xiaosha was not in the right mood, Shen Feifei quickly comforted him.

She said that for more than ten years, she was deceived from such a young age.

Such a young child can know what, even if he grows up later, he will rely on his own instinct to believe that is what he should believe in, and that is his duty.

It's not too late to understand now, he just didn't want to ask because he was afraid that she would blame herself.

"Don't blame me? Don't you blame me?" Zhang Xiaosha pushed Shen Feifan away and looked at his hands, "I used these hands to do so many things for that person, do you know? I have endured so much The pain in the body and the training that can be called devilish is just because of one purpose, I have to train hard so that I can do things for the country first, and then I can avenge my father."

"The way my dad died at that time, I will never forget it for the rest of my life. There was blood in his mouth covering my face, and he looked at me with a smile and said, 'Don't be afraid, someone will come to save us. Protect our country well." Zhang Xiaosha slid down the edge of the table, clutching her hair tightly, "But what have I done? Tell me, what have I done? I even I can't see the most superficial things clearly, I have wasted so much time helping a person who doesn't exist at all, what am I...what am I..."

Zhang Xiaosha gritted her teeth tightly, not because she wanted to blame herself, but because she couldn't forgive herself at all.

The result of hurting others and hurting oneself is the last joke in the world.

Incomparably ridiculous.

"You were young at that time, and you didn't know anything." Now Shen Feifei knew that Zhang Xiaosha's mood was unstable, so he tried his best to comfort her, and didn't want her to continue to blame herself, "So I don't blame you, you know? "

With a swipe, Zhang Xiaosha raised his head, his eyes were scarlet.

Standing up, he grabbed Shen Feifei's neck and pulled him closer.

"Shen Feifei, in this world, you should be the one who should hate me the most!" Zhang Xiaosha gritted her teeth, she hated herself very much, she felt that she was not worthy of being treated like this by Shen Feifei, "Why do you treat me like this? Good! Why do you come to comfort me every time! Why don't you blame me at all!"

"I have achieved nothing. I have abandoned so many people who love me like a fool for a person who never existed. I have caused so many people to cry for me! Why should I let you never blame me!" Tears It flowed down the cheeks to the chin, and finally flowed into the neck. It was cool, but it had a bone-piercing feeling.

Zhang Xiaosha suddenly felt that his existence was meaningless at all, he didn't even have any strength, and he seemed to have no strength to hold Shen Feifan's hand.

"Shen Feifei, I beg you to scold me a few words, okay..." Zhang Xiaosha's tone was more of a hint of pleading.

There was a hint of pity in the sobbing sound.

Seeing her like this, Shen Feifan couldn't possibly open his mouth.

It was never her fault.

She has always lived in a deep sense of self-blame. Her father's death had left a deep mark on her heart when she was young. Even after so many years, there is still no way to erase that scar.

Sometimes, hatred can blind people's eyes the most, making people go wrong and go astray on obvious things.

Shen Feifei knew the pain in her heart.

Just like how he felt when he watched his father die because of performing a mission, he decided to join the army because of his father's death.

Even though grandpa stopped him from being a soldier at the beginning, fearing that he would continue to follow his father's path, he still resolutely became a soldier.

There is also the feeling of not being able to protect the one he loves, because he also strongly blamed himself for not being able to protect Zhang Xiaosha back then.

If you don't have the ability, you might as well not do it.

I retired from the army because the person I loved couldn't trust me and couldn't give her the sense of security she wanted, so I left without joining and proved myself in another way to give her a sense of security.

"Zhang Xiaosha, I just want you not to make me blame myself." Shen Feifei circled Zhang Xiaosha, very hard, "I have enough ability to protect you, my shoulders, I want to give you support , do you understand?"

Four years ago, she didn't learn how to rely on her. Today, four years later, he can teach her and tell her little by little that she is not an absolute iron man. When she is tired, she can stop and rely on her.

Four years ago, she didn't learn to believe absolutely. Today, four years later, he can make her understand that not everyone is deceitful, and when there is something, she can pour out and share it.

For Zhang Xiaosha, Shen Feifei has always been absolutely patient.

"Shen Feifan..." Zhang Xiaosha really didn't know what else to say at this time. She couldn't say thank you, and she never wanted to say, "It's nice to have someone hurt."

Although Uncle He was very kind to her, and Shen Feifan's grandfather had always liked her, but, to be honest, she never felt real happiness.

Mom said that she was a disaster star and would cause trouble.

However, Shen Feifan never blamed him.

From him, she found out what it was like to be truly loved by others, and she felt an unspeakable feeling in her heart.

That kind of thing called happiness cannot be described with any adjectives.

(End of this chapter)