strange i love you

Chapter 16 The stars in the sky don't speak (1)
From: Grapefruit

New Years is coming soon, I will be 26, and I will be 30 in four years.What I have heard the most since I was a child is that a woman has no value after the age of 30, and it is like a passing day.I've also heard this saying, isn't love all made of sewing, everyone makes mistakes, and you have to give the person you like a chance.I have also heard such words, what do women work so hard for, as long as they can support themselves, why do you have to treat yourself like Yang Bailao, buy what you like, don’t be reluctant to spend money on what you fancy, and live a chic life , so that you can marry yourself at the best time.

You see, the environment I live in is like this. It seems that women live to marry a good man, but what is the standard of a good man?
I am 25 years old, and I have only been in love once. I thought this love would be the only time in my life.A few days ago, when my boyfriend told me about Chinese New Year, we got engaged.You see, we've all come this far.If falling in love is a long march, then our journey is coming to an end soon, we are about to see the end, but now there is nothing.

I really can't accept betrayal and deception again.

Now I have no job, no boyfriend, no savings.

The variables in life are really unpredictable.A few months ago, I still had a relatively decent job, and I still had a high enthusiasm for work. I had a boyfriend who had been with me for six years, and I traded my small coffers for a cozy hut.

Everything looked perfect, beautiful, beautiful, and I really want to use the best words in the world to describe my life during that period.It's like a beautiful dream, and now it's time to wake up from the dream.I have to wake up because there are no more good dreams, only endless nightmares.

Now I suffer from insomnia all night long, staying in the rental room I rented which is less than [-] square meters.I don't have a job, and I don't want to go out to look for it. My family and friends keep calling me, and Qin Zhihao is also looking for me all over the world, but I don't want to see anyone.I really want to bury myself so that I can avoid being hurt.

During this period of time, I locked myself in the rental house, did not go out, did not answer the phone, and was completely invisible on the Internet.Watching dramas, ordering takeout, and eating and drinking are all done within a few square meters.

I finally know what it means to give up on myself. My current state is a mess, no, worse than mud.In fact, I don't feel how sad I am, and I don't feel how sad I am.Now I can't even shed a tear, my heart is empty, as if someone stabbed a hole, a gust of cold wind poured in, and my heart trembled.But so what?
In the past, I was always afraid that I would live without a sense of security, so I worked hard, saved money desperately, and maintained love carefully.When I was in my twenties, I treated myself as a person in my forties to live and work.

But now, you see, I have nothing.Living in a rented house with only a few thousand yuan left on my body, eating, sleeping, wasting time and life, but my heart has never been so peaceful.

I don't know how long I slept, the computer screen was still on, colorful figures flashed in it, and the American drama I watched last night was still playing.My head hurts, and there is still half a box of unfinished chocolate truffles next to the pillow. I turned over, picked up a piece of chocolate, tore open the package, stuffed it into my mouth, and let the sweetness of the chocolate slowly fade away. Melts in the mouth.

What are you going to do today?My mind was in a mess.

He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling in a daze. There were already cracks in some places.After all, this rental house has a long history, otherwise where can I find such a cheap price of 400 yuan a month.

I closed my eyes again, feeling dizzy from too much sleep, but there was a voice in my head telling me, don't sleep, go out for a walk.It was very dark in the room because the curtains were all drawn.I struggled to get up, opened the curtain, and the sunlight outside came in at once.Probably because I haven't felt the temperature of the sun for too long, I closed the curtain again very uncomfortable.

It's time to go for a walk.

I took a shower, because there was no Yuba, I almost froze to death in the bathroom.Taking off his clothes and standing in front of the mirror, his face was obviously fatter than before, and there was also fat on his stomach.When I went out, I wore my favorite coat, but when I saw myself in the mirror, I no longer had the slim figure I used to have.Many people met me before and said, "Youxi, eat more", well, now these people have got their wish, I finally gained weight, and my skin has become much fairer.But at the moment I am not happy at all.

I need to find something to make myself happy, don't get me wrong, this sentence is very simple and unambiguous.What I call happy is to make myself feel better. I don't go to places like bars, I just go to a dessert shop.I only had 100 yuan in my coat pocket, so I ordered a piece of poplar nectar and a sweet black forest cake, and then I sat by the window and ate small bites.There are people coming and going outside the window, some people are in a hurry, some people are leisurely shopping with their friends, they seem to have something to do, someone to accompany, someone to love.Why do I think they are so happy?Thinking of this, I finally couldn't help crying out with a "wow".

Best Response

Little Apple: I actually cried when I saw the end, thinking that I broke up with my boyfriend before and gave up on myself like this.Eating desperately: chocolate, chocolate wafers, chocolate cake, anyway, what I eat to gain weight or gain weight.After a month, I gained a full twenty pounds, and finally lost weight desperately. Now I think about that period with special emotion.Dear grapefruit, no matter what bottleneck you encounter in life, you must remember not to hurt your body.

Mei Xiaomei: Landlord, you can’t do this.Although I don’t know why you suddenly became like this, I was very happy to read your post before. There are too many unsatisfactory facts in life, but don’t despair about it. The original poster, I hope you get better as soon as possible.

You are the scenery I pass by: I have also experienced such confusion, why do we have to follow the steps in our lives?Later I figured it out, probably children from ordinary families have a sense of insecurity about life.I always feel that if I don't grab something desperately, I will feel like living in this real world like the tip of a needle.

In fact, there are very few things we can get in this life.Money, honor, fame and fortune, these things that seem to be worthy of our all-out pursuit, may turn out to be nothing but clouds.And family, friendship, and love, which cannot be measured by money, are actually what we really need.

I hope the owner will get out of the confusion soon.

When Lin Youxi came out of the dessert shop, she still had twenty or so dollars on her.She saw cotton candy on the side of the road, blue, pink, and yellow. She remembered that every time she went to the park when she was a child, she would hold her mother's hand to buy a cotton candy. At that time, the cotton candy was only [-] cents a piece, and it was for nothing. , like clouds in the sky.

"Five yuan." When the cotton candy vendor mentioned the price, Lin Youxi was obviously taken aback.

"Why is cotton candy so expensive?" She took out the money while talking.

The peddler took the money and said bluntly, "What can I buy for five yuan now? It's not bad to buy such a big cotton candy."

Lin Youxi tore off a small strip of marshmallow and fed it into her mouth, it was so sweet that her tongue almost got knotted.There are wandering singers selling songs in the underground passage, singing "Southern Girl" by Zhao Lei.

……

She always likes to stand by the road in a dress with flowers

She doesn't have many flowers but her smile is so calm and melodious

What is in her weak eyes is the sadness of longing

……

She leaves a shadow on the street that comes and goes, and the fragrance will suddenly hurt my heart
In the blink of an eye, the fragrance has drifted away, and the shadow has disappeared

……

Lin Youxi was sitting on the side steps, leaning against the wall. The singer's voice was not strong enough, but it still moved Lin Youxi.She remembered that she and Qin Zhihao had taken leave of absence to go to Zhao Lei's concert during college, and they took the train overnight to reach their destination.That night, many people turned on the flashlight mode of their mobile phones, shaking and shaking to Zhao Lei's singing, and when "Southern Girl" was sung, Lin Youxi cried, because this song was sung by Qin Zhihao when he confessed his love to her.

……

Southern girl, are you used to the cool autumn in the north?
Southern girls, do you fall in love with the straightforwardness of northerners?

Days go by like those sleepless nights

She chews gum and talks about ideals to the wall
……

Listening to this, Lin Youxi's eye sockets gradually became moist again, and some of the marshmallow in her hand melted away, and the melted part didn't look appetizing at all, but rather disgusting.She stood up, straightened the corners of her clothes, then took out a piece of money from her pocket and put it in the hat in front of the wandering singer.

Later, when Lin Youxi was walking home, recalling this detail, she always felt a little romantic.

The house leak happened to rain overnight, Lin Youxi woke up in the middle of the night with stomach pains, at first she thought about enduring it and passed it, curled up on the bed, covered her stomach, after a while, she couldn't help crying out in pain Voice.Fortunately, the mobile phone was within reach. Lin Youxi dialed 120 for emergency services, and was carried into the car on a stretcher 10 minutes later.

Acute appendicitis.

In order to prevent the doctor from notifying the family, Lin Youxi secretly hid the mobile phone under the pillow before the medical staff came.The doctor couldn't contact anyone who knew her, so he had to wait for her to pass the anesthesia before asking. Lin Youxi said that her family and friends were not around, and she didn't need others to take care of her.That's what I said, but the drip was on, and the stitches were not removed at the surgery site, how could a person take care of himself.In the end, the nurse helped introduce a nurse to take care of her daily life.After Lin Youxi paid the operation fee, she really had no money.

Lying on the hospital bed at night, the place where the operation was performed was in pain, and she dared not turn over for fear of touching the wound.The nurse forgot to close the curtain of the window before leaving, Lin Youxi turned her head and saw the moon embedded in the window frame.The moon at this time made people feel bleak and cold, reflecting her current situation, Lin Youxi couldn't help crying softly.

After a few days, Lin Youxi started to get out of bed and go for a walk in the flower bed outside the hospital.Others were accompanied by family and friends, but she was alone with a hanging water bottle.Before the nurse left, she bought her a pack of warm chestnuts as she had said. She sat by the flower bed, took out the chestnuts and peeled them slowly. She ate very slowly, looking like she was enjoying herself.

Someone patted her from behind, before Lin Youxi could react, the chestnut in her hand was snatched away by a hand that fell from the sky.

"So you hid in the hospital." Zheng Tao took out a chestnut and returned the bag to her.

"Why are you?" Lin Youxi looked him up and down, he was not injured, nor did he seem to be sick.

"A friend is sick and hospitalized, come and visit me." Zheng Tao asked her, "What's wrong with you?"

"appendicitis."

"Oh." Zheng Tao nodded, and finally asked the business, "You resigned?"

"No." Lin Youxi brushed a lock of hair hanging down in front of her ears behind her ears, and raised her head, "I fired the company, okay?"

"It seems that I have found a good employer." Zheng Tao smacked his lips and took another chestnut.

Lin Youxi faltered: "Yes, I must have found a good employer."

"I also really want to find another employer. It would be even better if I can go to work without clocking in." Zheng Tao stretched his waist as he said, looking tired.

"You are a person who earns an annual salary, so there is nothing to complain about." Lin Youxi couldn't help but give him a blank look, "People like us who work hard and earn such a pitiful salary every month are not yet What do you say?"

"Didn't you scold your director bloody the day you left? It should be very cool."

"It's cool, I didn't even take that month's salary." Lin Youxi regretted it when she thought about it. Although the salary is not too much, it is already a huge sum of money for her current state of being unemployed, " Facts have proved that there is a price to be paid for being handsome."

"Is there no one to take care of you when you are sick?" Zheng Tao noticed that after so long, no one came to Lin Youxi's side, and he couldn't help asking curiously.

"It's just a minor operation, why don't we call all the eight aunts and seven aunts to stay with me?"

"Then is it convenient for you to be alone?" Zheng Tao glanced at her suspiciously, "Do you want to go to the bathroom or eat without someone to accompany you?"

Naturally, Lin Youxi couldn't tell him that she had hired a nurse, so she nodded her head pretending to be ignorant: "Yes, what's the inconvenience. Oh, I remembered that I still have something to do, so I'm going back to the ward first." She said while getting ready Get up and leave.

Zheng Tao grabbed her collar and pulled her back: "Wait, I'll see you off."

Without allowing Lin Youxi to speak, Zheng Tao had already snatched the infusion bottle from her hand, and strode forward holding her arm.

"Are you from Hunan!" Lin Youxi couldn't help shouting at him.

"What do you mean?"

"Lei Feng's hometown." Lin Youxi wanted to break free from him, but unexpectedly he was quite strong.

After sending Lin Youxi back to the ward, as soon as he opened the door, Zheng Tao was shivered by the coldness inside.

"Are you alone in a ward?"

"It just so happens." Lin Youxi went to the bed and sat down, "I don't have the money to live in a single room."

"Why is there nothing?" Zheng Tao looked at the things in the room, "No one sent flowers or something to eat. Aren't you bored staying in the ward by yourself?"

"I'm here for medical treatment, not to watch movies and eat melon seeds!" For some reason, Lin Youxi always has a bad temper when facing Zheng Tao, often yelling and judging with her usual self. If there are two people.She thought it could only be attributed to Zheng Tao being so annoying that he couldn't even be calm for a while.

Zheng Tao left without saying hello, Lin Youxi thought he was angry and felt guilty, but did nothing.She sat on the bed, turned on the TV, and watched boredly.I don't know if anyone has contacted me in the past few days, the phone is still under the pillow, and I can't even browse Weibo on the Internet.Lin Youxi was thinking about something when the door of the ward was pushed open with a snap. Zheng Tao stood at the door holding two large white plastic bags, panting and closing the door behind him with his feet.

"You, what are you doing?" Lin Youxi was startled, and subconsciously shrank back.

"I'll buy food for you. If you're sick, you should make up for it. It's too miserable to not even have a piece of fruit." Zheng Tao put down the bags and took out a stack of magazines and books from one of the bags, " Fearing that you will be bored, I bought it at a newsstand."

Lin Youxi couldn't help softening in her heart, took the stack of magazines, lowered her head to cover up her embarrassment by flipping through the magazines: "What kind of magazines are these, they have no taste."

"How do I know what you girls like to watch, so I just let the boss get it for me." Zheng Tao fished out an apple in the bag, "Do you want to eat it? I'll help you peel it while I still have time."

"Are you going to work overtime this weekend?"

"No way, a call from above came, can you not go?"

Zheng Tao lowered his head to peel the apple, and Lin Youxi noticed the big dark circles under his eyes.On weekdays, Zheng Tao is always laughing and joking, giving people the feeling that he doesn't care about anything, but Lin Youxi knows that he is actually working harder than anyone else.Although she still doesn't like him, Lin Youxi has to admit some of his advantages.

A week later, Lin Youxi was discharged from the hospital.

She didn't know how Lu Li found her home. When she saw Lu Li standing at the door of her rented house, she had only one thought, and that was - run!

But it was too late, Lu Li had quick eyesight and quick hands, and stepped forward to grab Lin Youxi.

"Yuzi, don't run away, even if you hide on Mars, I can find you!" Lu Li walked over and hugged her, "Do you know, you are worried about me to death."

Lin Youxi was hugged by her, her hands were in the air, not knowing whether to hug or push away.

"If you're not happy, I'll help you teach that bastard Qin Zhihao a lesson, don't just disappear like this, do you know, I'm dying of anxiety."

Lin Youxi lowered her head and said nothing. She gently pushed her away and said, "Why are you looking for me? I want to be alone."

Lu Li immediately moved out of her family: "If you act like this again, I will call and tell your family!"

(End of this chapter)