The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

Chapter 30

Chapter 23

He and the king worked hard all day, setting up the stage, hanging the curtains, and setting up a row of candles for the footlights.That night, the hall was packed with people in the blink of an eye.When the hall was so full that no one could come in, the duke left his job of guarding the door, went around to the stage, stood before the curtain, and, after a few words, bragged about his tragedy, saying that it was the most famous tragedy in history. The most thrilling play; and then he compared it with old Edmund?Keane flattered.Finally, he raised people's appetites high, and he opened the curtain.The king was completely naked, with streaks of rainbow-colored paint all over his body, and crawled out on all fours in a grand manner, and--not to mention his other make-up, which was all weird and nonsense , Anyway, it's ridiculous.People laughed out loud, almost dying of joy.The king just jumped up and down on the stage, and when he had enough, he ran backstage. The people clapped and applauded, as loud as thunder, until he appeared again.So, he repeated the performance again.Then people asked him to do it all over again.This old idiot's performance can really make Niu Er laugh.

At this time, the Duke put down the curtain, bowed to the people and said that this great tragedy can only be performed for two more nights, because there is an urgent appointment with London, where all the tickets for the Jury Theater have been sold out. Wait for them to go to the show.Then he bowed again to the people and told them that if they found this performance interesting, he hoped they would recommend it to their friends and invite them to watch it, and he himself would be very grateful.

Dozens of people shouted loudly:
"Why, is this the end? Is this the end?"

The duke said it was true.Now people are making a fuss.Everyone shouted: "I've been fooled!" One by one, they got up and rushed towards the stage, seeking to settle accounts with the two tragedies.But a handsome man jumped onto a bench and cried:
"Calm down! Gentlemen, listen to me." The people fell silent to listen to him.

"We've been duped--fooled by a big boss. But we can't make the whole town laugh at us and make them laugh at us forever. Absolutely not. We're going to get out of here quietly and go around telling people about this play, and coax the rest of the town here to see it too! That way we'd all be like each other. Is there any truth in what I say?" ("Yes, it's true!— said the Judge That's right!" echoed everyone.) "All right, then—don't say a word about being cheated. Everybody go home and tell everyone else to come and see the tragedy."

The next day, people everywhere were hearing compliments on the terrific show.That night, the hall was full again, and we duped the group the same way.When me and the king and duke got back on the raft, we had supper, and then, around midnight, they told me and Jim to get the raft out, out of the little creek, into the middle of the big river, down town About two miles ashore, the raft was hidden.

On the third night, the theater was full again—but this time the people were not new audiences, but people who had been there the previous two nights.I stood at the door, and followed the duke, and I saw people stuffed in their pockets, or hiding something under their coats—and I saw that it was by no means a scent.I smelled a pungent smell of rotten eggs, and something like rotten cabbage.I dare say I must have smelled dead cats, sixty-four of which were brought into the theatre.I got into the theater and stayed for a while, but the smell was so bad that I couldn't stay any longer.Then, when the theater was full, the duke found a man, gave him a quarter, and asked him to guard the door, so he went out, and went around to the back door of the stage. I followed behind him.But as soon as we turned the corner, into the dark, he said:

"Come on, after you get away from this house, run to the wooden raft as quickly as possible, as if a ghost is chasing you!"

I did as he said, and he did the same.We both jumped on the raft at the same time, and within two seconds we were floating down the river.There was darkness and silence around us, and we tilted the raft and rowed towards the center of the river.No one said a word.I figured the poor king must have been caught by the spectators in town and lived there, but it wasn't at all.After a while, he got out of the hut and spoke:

"I said, duke, is our old routine going to work this time?"

He never went to town at all.

We waited for the raft to float about ten miles downriver from town before we lit the lamps and had supper.The king and the duke laughed so hard when they talked about the tricks they had with those people.duke said:

"They're all big fools, big fools! I knew the audience on the first night would be silent and hook up the rest of the town, and I figured they'd come after us on the third night, Thought it was their turn to clean us up. Yes, it was their turn, and I'd pay for it if I knew what they looked like when they found out they had miscalculated. I wonder what they're going to do with this opportunity .They can take this opportunity to have a picnic if they like--they brought a lot of food."

These two villains cheated a total of 460 and [-] yuan in the three nights.I have never seen so much money, enough to fill a carriage.

Later, when they were fast asleep and snoring, Jim said to me:
"Huck, don't you think it's strange that these kings are so fussy?"

"Not surprising," I said, "it's nothing surprising."

"Why not, Huck?"

"What's so weird about it, that's the way people are born. I'll bet they're all the same."

"But, Huck, we kings are real rascals; that's what they are, and rascals."

"Yes, that's what I mean. Almost all kings are, in my opinion, villains."

"really?"

"You've only got to read it once in a book to know it. Look at Henry VIII; by comparison, this one's as gentle as a Sunday-school superintendent. Look at Richard." II, Louis XIV, Louis XV, James II, Edward II, Richard III, and many others. Besides them, the ancient rulers of the Seven Kingdoms of Saxon, who were then The devil who makes a lot of trouble. Good God, if you could see Henry VIII in his youth, he was crazy. Off her head. He'd do that as casually as if he'd had boiled eggs brought to him. He said, "Get Nell?Get it Gwen! ’ They brought her. The next morning, he said: ‘Behead her! ’ They cut off her head. He said: ‘Go and Jane?Shaw here! ’ She came right away. The next morning: ‘Behead her! ’—they cut off her head. “Ring the bell for Phil?”Rosamund called. Phil Rosamund came at the bell. The next morning: "Behead her." ’ He made them each tell him a story, and in this way he got a thousand and one stories, and he wrote a book called The Book of Doom, which was justly titled, because it Tells the truth. Jim, you don't know what kings are, but I know them.

This one here is the most innocent one I have ever met in history.You know what, Henry had an idea to make trouble for us in America.What's he going to do--do the paperwork first--show us his power?No.He suddenly poured all the tea from the cargo ships in Boston Harbor into the sea, and then issued a declaration of independence to issue a challenge.That's just how he is—always taking everyone by surprise.He suspects his father, the Duke of Wellington.Do you know what he does?Do you want him to confess?No - threw him in a wine barrel and drowned like a cat.What would he do if someone dropped money around him?He just took it away.What if he signed a contract with someone to do something, and the person couldn't just stand there and watch him do it?He certainly didn't do it under the contract.If he opened his mouth—what?If he didn't shut his mouth quickly, he would tell a lie, every time.That bastard Henry was such a thing.If we'd come with him instead of us two kings, he'd have made a worse fool of that town.I'm not saying both of us are good people, because they're not good people, you just have to look at what they do.But compared with those old bastards, they are nothing.I've said all this to mean, the king is the king, we've got to bear it.These people are all rogues.This is what they have been taught since childhood. "

"But this one stinks bad enough, Huck."

"Tell you, they're all alike, Jim. We can't help the king's stink, not even history."

"And as for the duke, he's kind of a nice guy."

"Yeah, the duke is a little different, but not much different. By a duke's standards, the guy is pretty good. When he's drunk, anyone who's a little short-sighted can't tell the difference between him and a duke." What's the difference with kings."

"Anyway, Huck, I don't want to have any more of those kind of people with us, and I've got enough of these two."

"That's what I meant, Jim. But since we've got 'em here, we gotta know what they are, and bear with it. Sometimes I wish I heard of a country without a king."

What was the use of telling Jim that these two were not really kings and dukes?It will do no good, and besides, as I have said, people can't tell the difference between them and real kings.

I fell asleep, and when it was time for my shift, Jim didn't wake me up.He does it a lot.I woke up at dawn, and he was sitting there with his head between his knees, moaning sadly all by himself.I didn't pay special attention, and I didn't pretend not to see it.I know why he is.He was thinking of his wife and children far away, and he felt sad and homesick, because he had never left home in his life.I believe he misses his family in exactly the same way that white people do.It looks a little strange, but I guess, it must be so.He used to sigh so sadly that at night, thinking I was asleep, he would say to himself, "Poor Elizabeth! Poor little Johnny! I'm so sorry, I don't think I'll see you any more, no more I can't see you!" Jim is a nice black man.

This time, I somehow talked to him about his wife and children.Later he told me:
"This time I felt very sad, because I heard a voice on the shore over there, like beating someone, or slamming the door. It reminded me of the time when I lost my temper and dealt with my little Elizabeth fiercely. She is four years old. I had a scarlet fever episode that year, and it was pretty bad, and then I got well. One day, she was standing there, and I said to her, 'Close the door.'

"She didn't move, she just looked up at me and laughed. I got angry and repeated it aloud, and I said:

"'Did you hear me? Shut the door!'

"She just stood still, looking up at me, and smiling at me. I was very angry, and said:

"'How dare you disobey me!'

"After I finished speaking, I slapped her across the face and knocked her to the ground. After that, I went into another room and stayed in the room for about 10 minutes; I came out to see that the door was still open. The child stood there with his head bowed on the threshold, weeping very sadly, and the tears flowed down. I was so angry that I was about to go up and beat her, but a gust of wind blew and slammed the door, which opened inwards. I knocked the child down in one blow, and the child fell to the ground! I was so scared that I almost gasped, and I felt so-so-I can't say what I felt in my heart. I trembled all over, and stumbled to the door Beside, I opened the door carefully, looked over from behind her, and couldn't help shouting: 'My God!' She didn't move! I burst into tears and hugged the baby to my chest. I said: 'Oh! Poor little thing! Almighty God will never forgive poor old Jim, and I'll never forgive myself!" So she's gone deaf and dumb, Huck, deaf and dumb, I regret being so cruel to her!"

(End of this chapter)