Life is but a thought: Nan Huaijin's 15 Life Wisdom Lessons

Chapter 23 Only when you handle things harmoniously can you advance and retreat freely (1)
Embrace the world with a moderate attitude
The game in life is everywhere and everywhere.Life and affairs are like chess. If we want to make a move without regretting, we must pay attention to strategy and know how to deal with the changing world with a "moderate" attitude.

Zhuangzi said in "Zhuangzi Nei Pian Equality of Things": "Only those who have attained knowledge and knowledge are one, and those who are mediocre use them. Those who are mediocre use them; those who use them know them; Definitely."

Mr. Nan Huaijin explained the role of Zhuangzi's "yong" - useless use is for great use, not advocating not to use it at all, but to use it, use it appropriately, use it appropriately, and Zhuangzi has an explanation of the word "use" below , that is, "the one who uses it can understand it; the one who understands it can gain it".He also said that in the turbulent Warring States where Zhuangzi lived, many people had the idea of ​​escaping from reality.However, some things cannot be escaped. Only by finding a way, being good at using reality, and not being used by reality, can one live and live.If it is used well, it is "mediocrity"; if it is not used well, it will become what later generations call "mediocrity".

"Yong" is not sloppy, it is not about the same, it is "getting in the middle of the ring", just right, the highest wisdom reaches the extreme, it seems ordinary, but "getting the middle of the ring, to respond to infinity".

Someone once said that "The Doctrine of the Mean" is based on Zhuangzi's thought of "the use of the mean".Is it right?We don't know, but what is certain is that the golden mean is very important.

The young man was born in a poor rural family. He had grown crops, worked as a carpenter, worked as a mason, collected junk, sold briquettes, suffered emotional frustration, and was entangled in lawsuits.He wandered alone, lived in no fixed place, wandered around, and suffered a lot of stares.

However, he has a hobby that is different from other rural youths. He loves literature and has written many clear and pure poems: "My healthy feet are a small drum that beats on the chest of spring in this rainy season. What does it matter with shoes, who said that I am not happy enough at this moment?"

Someone was shocked after seeing poetry!Such clear words actually come from the pen of a person who is struggling in pain on the edge of life.Regarding this, the young man said: "I was born in the countryside and grew up in the countryside. Every household in the countryside stores manure. When I was young, whenever I saw someone transporting manure to the field, I always felt very strange, it was so smelly and so dirty. How can it make the crops grow stronger? Later, I finally understood some truths. Manure is dirty and smelly. If you keep it in the cesspool, it will continue to be dirty and smelly, but if In the land, the situation is different. When it combines with the deep soil, it becomes a kind of beneficial fertilizer. It is the same for human beings. In the face of suffering, I will use it as fertilizer. Then, it It will become a kind of precious nutrition, allowing you to experience special sweetness and beauty in suffering like a phoenix nirvana. If suffering is only regarded as suffering, then it is really suffering.”

What the young people say is the game relationship between "life has played with me, or have I played with life".The land can transform the nature of excrement, and the mind can also transform the flow of suffering.Both sublimation and degeneration depend on one's own understanding of things.In the face of suffering, what flows in his pen is actually a beautiful and pure song.After reading the story of the young man, we have to say: "He is a wise man."

Confucius once said that wise people love water, and benevolent people love mountains.The reason why Confucius said this is because a wise person is active, sees everything clearly, and has the characteristics of water and flexibility; a benevolent person is calm, able to stick to himself, and has the characteristics of a mountain's solemnity and stability.Therefore, wise people are always happy, and benevolent people can live longer by nourishing their energy.The survival methods of mountains and waters all embody the principle of the golden mean, so the saints are happy and live long.If we can also understand the principle of the golden mean, we believe that a beautiful life of happiness and longevity is not far away.

A young monk was going to ask for alms, so he deliberately picked out a worn-out dress to wear.

"Why did you choose this one?" Master asked puzzled.

"Didn't you say that you don't need to care about the appearance?" The little monk was a little unconvinced, and said, "I wear shabby clothes, so people will sympathize with me and give me more money."

"Are you going for alms or begging?" Master continued, "Do you want people to see you as pity and make offerings to you? Or do you want people to see you as capable and save thousands of people through you?"

Hearing this, the little monk was thoughtful.

After the old monk passed away, the young monk became the abbot.He always dressed neatly, took a medical kit, and went to the dirtiest and poorest areas to wash the pus and change the dressings for the patients there, and then returned to the mountain gate dirty.

Mr. Nan Huaijin once said with emotion that life is only a few words: "If you can see it, you can't bear it; if you want it, you can't do it."

In one life, even if one can see clearly, one may not be able to break free, but since one has embarked on this road, no matter how bumpy the road is, one has to go, and no matter how difficult the problem is, one has to solve it.The way to break through the pain is to treat everything with a "moderate" attitude, "what comes, it should be, and the past will not stay."When you face it, face it bravely, and when it goes, let it go.Only by doing this, can we not be overwhelmed by material things, not tempted by the environment, let alone hurt ourselves, so as to "get out of the mud without being stained".

In short, the game in life is everywhere and everywhere.Life and affairs are like chess. If we want to make a move without regretting, we must pay attention to strategy and know how to deal with the changing world with a "moderate" attitude.

be dangerous in life

Being cautious in words and deeds is the great wisdom of Confucianism.In life, we should also try our best to be cautious in our words and deeds.Only with prudence in words and deeds and a low-key life can we protect ourselves wisely.

"Dangerous behavior and low speech" means to be cautious in action and cautious in speech.Mr. Nan Huaijin has also repeatedly emphasized that one must behave in a low-key manner in order to behave in the world.He once used couplets to give us an example: "Zhuge was only cautious in his life, but Lu Duan was not confused about major matters."Zhuge Liang's merit in his life lies in his prudence, while Lu Duan (Prime Minister of the Song Dynasty) was a very shrewd person who was sloppy about small things but never confused about big things.In addition to Zhuge Liang and Lu Duan, Guo Ziyi, a famous general in the Tang Dynasty, did a better job in "dangerous behavior and low speech".

During the mid-Tang Dynasty, Guo Ziyi held a high position and was honored as "Father Shang" by Tang Dezong. Only King Wu of the Zhou Dynasty called Jiang Taigong, which shows his status.Because of this, he has always been regarded as a thorn in the side and a thorn in the flesh by some people in the court.

In October of the second year of Zongdali in the Tang Dynasty, when Guo Ziyi was leading troops to fight against the Tubo army on the front line of Lingzhou, the eunuch Yu Chaoen who hated him secretly sent someone to dig up his father's grave.All the monarchs and ministers in the court were guessing that when Guo Ziyi returned to the court from the Jingyang class, there would be a bloody storm.

On the day Guo Ziyi entered the court, Daizong specifically mentioned this matter, hoping that he would not pay too much attention to it.Unexpectedly, not only was Guo Ziyi not angry, but he bowed down and blamed himself: "The minister has led troops to fight for a long time, and the army is not strict. He has not been able to stop the soldiers from stealing graves. Now, my father's grave has also been stolen, which shows that the minister's disobedience Loyalty and unfilial piety have offended heaven and earth." After hearing this, all the ministers admired Guo Ziyi's magnanimity in their hearts.

In fact, Guo Ziyi understands very well that the greater his contribution, the greater his troubles, so he must be careful in every way in order to protect himself.Whenever he was promoted to an official position, he would plead again and again, and only if he couldn't refuse would he choose to accept it.

In the second year of Guangde, Emperor Daizong wanted to grant him the "Shangshu Order", but Guo Ziyi refused to die, saying: "I really dare not be a minister! Before Emperor Taizong came to the throne, he once held this position. Later, in order to express his respect for Emperor Taizong Respect, this post has been reserved and has never been given to anyone else. If you want to grant this post to me now, isn’t it because you are partial to veterans and breaking the rules of the ancestors? It is really not worth it! Besides, the minister has little talent , have already suffered from the emperor's favor, how dare you accept this heavy seal again?"

After hearing his words, Daizong had no choice but to give up and reward him with other things.

One day, an officer under Guo Ziyi's account was about to be transferred to another place, so he came to the palace to say goodbye.There are no taboos in Guo Ziyi's mansion, so he has been walking into the inner house.Coincidentally, Guo Ziyi's wife and daughter were dressing up, while Guo Ziyi was serving them. They asked the prince for a towel for a while, and for him to bring water for a while.If you don't know, you will really treat Guo Ziyi as a servant.

Seeing this scene, the officer couldn't help laughing.After returning home, he couldn't help telling the story to his family.Just like that, one spread to ten, ten to hundreds... Soon, people in the whole capital talked about it as a joke.

Guo Ziyi also laughed after hearing this, but didn't take it seriously.But Guo Ziyi's sons were a little unhappy. It was too presumptuous for the common people to talk about their father like this.

They made an appointment to find their father and asked him to order that, like other palaces, the gates be closed and no one else be allowed to enter or leave.Guo Ziyi laughed and thought the sons were really cute.

One of Guo Ziyi's sons said: "Father has great achievements. People all over the world respect you, but you don't respect yourself. No matter who you are, you let them enter the inner house at will. Neither Yin nor Huo Guang, the minister of the Han Dynasty, can do what you do."

After hearing this, Guo Ziyi said earnestly, "I opened the door of the house to allow people to come in and out at will, not for the sake of fame, but to save my own life and the lives of the whole family!"

After hearing this, the sons didn't understand what their father meant, so they continued to ask.Guo Ziyi sighed deeply, and said: "You guys only see the illustrious momentum of our Guo family, but you can't see the danger behind this glory and wealth! There is a saying that when the moon is full, it eclipses; This is an inevitable truth. Therefore, we must understand the truth of retreating bravely. Right now, the imperial court still wants to use me, so how could it be possible for me to go into seclusion? Besides, even if it is to go into seclusion, I can’t find a piece of land that can accommodate more than a thousand people in my Guofu. People's hermitage! Now, I am in a dilemma! If we close the door and do not communicate with the outside world, as long as there is one person who is dissatisfied with our Guo family, forms a grudge, and falsely accuses us of having two hearts towards the court, or even throws stones into trouble, If someone adds fuel to it and creates an unjust case, then our Guo family's nine clans, young and old, will die without a place to bury them."

It turned out that Guo Ziyi was well aware of the dangers of the officialdom, so he opened the door of the house and told people: he is aboveboard.In the end, Guo Ziyi died at the age of 85, and his descendants are all dignitaries.

There are many heroes in history who can achieve success and fame, but there are very few who can achieve success like Guo Ziyi.Mr. Nan Huaijin also sighed: "It is really rare for a hero of the past dynasties to be like Guo Ziyi, who has made great achievements in the world without being doubted by the monarch, and who is as good as a minister without being envied!"

Being cautious in words and deeds is the great wisdom of Confucianism.In life, we should also try our best to be cautious in words and deeds, and learn from historical celebrities.Only with prudence in words and deeds and a low-key life can we protect ourselves wisely.

Dealing with the times should be square, and dealing with troubled times should be round

The outer circle and the inner square, and the degree of depth is a subtle and superb art of life, which keeps people in a delicate balance on the balance of justice and life.

There is an old saying that goes well: "To govern the world should be square, to deal with troubled times should be round, and to be in the world of uncle Ji should be square and round; to be lenient to the good, to be strict to the wicked, to be lenient and strict to the mediocre." If we are in In a peaceful and prosperous age, one should be upright and upright in dealing with people.If we are in a troubled world, we should be flexible and tactful in dealing with people; if we meet kind people, we should be lenient; if we meet evil people, we should be stricter...

"Fangyuan" is extracted from Lao Zhuang's Taoism, which is similar to the "Golden Mean" of Confucianism.The circle on the outside and the square on the inside are not the philosophy of life for those who are sophisticated and scheming.The circle is to reduce resistance and is the method; the square is the foundation of the world and the essence.The bow is not square but pointed or round to cut through the waves and sail to the other shore faster.

Fangyuan needs to be deep and light, if it is too smooth, it is cunning and thick black.Zhuangzi said: "But I am straight from the inside and curved from the outside, and I am better than others." To the effect, I maintain my sincerity and true feelings in my heart, and uphold morality, but my behavior is obedient and mellow.Although Zhuangzi talks about square and round, he has a certain measure, and he is not unprincipled at the mercy of others.For example, in interpersonal relationships, you can be very close to a person, but you must have your own set of principles, and be easy-going but not casual. This is the best way to treat people in the world.

Being a person with a circle and doing things with a standard, this is Mr. Nan Huaijin's skills in life.When he was in Taiwan, Mr. Nan Huaijin had the opportunity to step into an official career, but he was not tempted at all.Staying away from politics is his consistent standard, and this is also his "party".On the other hand, the association he founded taught a "special class". All the seats in the class were major generals and lieutenant generals of the Kuomintang.Although Mr. Nan Huaijin stays away from politics and does not want to get too close to those in power, he does not object to associating with politicians.As long as someone comes to his class, no matter who it is, he will always come. This is his "circle".

It is precisely this great wisdom of "circumstance and measure" that makes Mr. Nan Huaijin have a wide range of opportunities and a magnanimous journey.Life is like a vast ocean, with storms and waves everywhere, and resistance from time to time.Should we fight head-on with all the resistance and fight to the death, or actively overcome all difficulties to strive for the final victory?The cruel reality tells us: If you care about everything, even if you are ambitious and extremely smart, you will only end up with unrewarded ambitions and tears.

The outer circle and the inner square, and the degree of depth is a subtle and superb art of life, which keeps people in a delicate balance on the balance of justice and life.Guo Ziyi is not the only one who is proficient in Fangyuan, Mr. Nan Huaijin also mentioned Feng Dao.

At the end of the Tang Dynasty and the Five Dynasties, when the emperors changed, the country was in turmoil, and the barbarians were in chaos.Whenever a dynasty changes, Feng Dao will be invited to assist the government. He has become the tumbler of the era, and he didn't die until he was 73 years old. It is a miracle.

Mr. Nan Huaijin said: "After reading the history, I came to the conclusion from my personal life experience and the experience of reading history. Feng Dao is by no means a simple character. If we say that in the Taiping era, it may not be surprising that Feng Dao can survive in the political arena. But staying in troubled times is a skill." In addition, Mr. Nan Huaijin also praised sincerely: "It is conceivable that this person should at least be free from corruption so that others cannot attack him; and other aspects of character and behavior must also be perfect, so that Invulnerable."

In Feng Dao's life, he served four surnames and six emperors. During the more than [-] years of current events, he has never failed, which is amazing.First of all, this person's character and behavior are perfect, impeccable, honest, serious, honest, and generous; secondly, he is well versed in the way of dealing with the world, deep and shallow, neutral and peaceful, and wise like a fool.Feng Dao once wrote a poem: "Don't be sad when you are in danger. There is always a reason for the future. You must know that the sea and the mountains return to the Ming Lord, and the universe does not necessarily fall into the auspicious people. When did morality die, and where the boats and cars are not connected. But there is no evil in teaching. Standing among wolves and tigers." His words showed his attitude of guarding against arrogance and caution, and being able to handle a task with ease.

Looking at Feng Dao's way of life, it is indeed as Zhuangzi said.The kung fu of cultivating the Tao, cultivate until there is no trace, the inside is straight and the outside is curved, and slowly move towards the metaphysical path, and gradually sublimate. This is the so-called "outside circle and inside square" in life, the outside is round and the inside is straight .

However, Mr. Nan Huaijin often sighed: "People don't want to learn from Feng Dao, and they can't learn it, because they lack Feng Dao's self-cultivation. Feng Dao can even tolerate and influence his enemies. How many people can have this kind of self-cultivation?" ?” Yes, we don’t need to be a “second person”, we just need to try our best to develop in a good direction.The real "square and round" people are a combination of great wisdom and great tolerance, with the power of a brave fighter and the peace of calm and wisdom; the real "square and round" people are capable and quick in action, and are not influenced by emotions; The real "Fangyuan" people can be calm about great joy and great sorrow; the real "Fangyuan" people, when retreating, can judge the situation, retreat wholeheartedly, and seize the best opportunity to make a comeback; There is no failure, only silence, which is the meditation of accumulating strength in the face of setbacks and adversity.

In short, if you behave in the world and make good use of the way of square radius, everything will be fine.Don't let yourself be too direct, speak more tactfully, and handle things softly, "the magic of using it is from the heart".

(End of this chapter)