pick up the pussy

Chapter One
I am a midwife.

You may think that the profession of midwife is very common, because a few years ago, this profession was available in almost every village.

But the midwives I’m talking about are not just the midwives you see who deliver babies, but also midwives who deliver births in other forms of life other than humans. To be more precise, they can also be called: Yin women.

In fact, I don't want to do this job either. I'm still a pure man, so how can I do what a woman can do?

And to be honest, I didn't believe in the set passed down by my grandma at the beginning. For example, my grandma said that the craft of midwifery was passed down from Chen Jinggu, the Holy Mother of Shuntian, and it was passed down from generation to generation in their family. Dealing with 'good brothers', I have fully understood this craft, and I can even spy on the yin and yang!
I don't believe it, and I thought to myself, why not just deliver the baby, and why is it so troublesome?
However, ever since I witnessed that weird thing, I gradually began to believe what my grandma said...

It was one summer when I was five or six years old. I was taking a nap in my grandma's house, and my grandma was helping me repel mosquitoes with a cattail fan.

In a daze, I heard a yelling from outside, and then the door was kicked open. There was a lot of noise, and I woke up too.

Before I figured out what was going on, I heard an old man shouting: "Grandma Luo, Granny Luo, you must save my wife."

My grandma hurried up and asked, "What's the matter? Don't panic, just speak slowly."

"Look what's wrong with my daughter-in-law, Granny Luo, you have to save your life." Gou Sheng said with snot and tears.

And taking advantage of this opportunity, I ran up and glanced at the pregnant woman lying on the stretcher, that is, the dog's leftover daughter-in-law.

Looking at it this way, it scares me enough!

The leftover daughter-in-law was originally ugly, her mouth was crooked, but now it was even more crooked than before, her tongue was hanging out, drooling constantly, her face was pale, like a piece of paper.And the eyeballs are squeezed in the middle, and the pair of eyes is very scary, and he is constantly sneering at the moment, which looks quite weird.

On the other hand, there was a lot of blood and white viscous liquid between the legs of the leftover woman. I later found out that it was amniotic fluid.

"Grandma Luo, I know there may be something wrong with the baby in my mother's womb. Can you show me? I went to the clinic in the town, and the old doctor in the clinic refused to accept it directly after checking, and said that we should prepare for the funeral. , even the big hospital in the county said nothing, I... I really don't know what to do."

Gou Sheng, a big and three thick man, seemed to be really scared, and he was crying so hard.

"Hmph, son of a bitch, I think you are really in a hurry to go to the doctor. Aren't you just an uneducated widow who knows more than a doctor who has seen the world in the clinic?"

"Yeah, son of a bitch, I'd better ask the doctor in the clinic."

The onlookers around said in a hurry, in short, they just don't believe my grandma.

To be honest, I was also scared. In the case of a leftover wife, even the health center ordered her to prepare for the funeral, so there was basically no hope. If she died here with my grandma, it would be very troublesome.

But what I didn't expect was that my grandma glanced at those who made irresponsible remarks, ignored them, and just said to Gou Shengzi: "Put your wife under the big locust tree in front!"

That Gou Zongzi was a typical big man in the countryside, with a relatively feudal way of thinking, he didn't pay attention to what other people said, and hurriedly carried his daughter-in-law under the big locust tree.

I clearly heard many people mocking my grandma, and some even scolded me, saying that my grandma didn't take human life seriously.

There were only a few old people on crutches who looked at my grandma with respect.

But it's strange to say that since the dog left woman was sent under the big locust tree, she stopped laughing wildly and started to cry resentfully. People who heard the whining sound made people very upset. I was I couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness in my heart.

Seeing the effect, Gousheng was immediately relieved, but what my grandma said next left Gousheng dumbfounded: "Go and kowtow to the big locust tree, kowtow a hundred times, and shout out every time you kowtow: I'm sorry!" , start now, hurry up!"

Gou Sheng was stunned, how could he be willing to kowtow in front of so many folks, how embarrassing it is.It wasn't until my grandma threatened to let go of it that the dog finally bit the bullet and kowtowed.

My grandma was not idle, moved a small stool, tied a piece of red rope to one end of the stool, and tied the other end to a big tree. Putting it under the big locust tree, he took out a large white cloth from his pocket as if by magic, and handed it to those who followed: "Surround the pregnant women and don't let others see them. You can’t just look around.”

"Why, why are you afraid that I will learn the technology secretly? Huh, you will be the target of criticism at the time of ****." One of the experienced midwives said sarcastically.

My grandma just smiled faintly. For her, this kind of cynicism has long been a common dish.

But after all, the midwife still surrounded my grandma and the leftover wife with cloth according to my grandma's instructions.

Because I'm a boy, I can't go in and look inside. I don't know what happened inside. I just remember that when my grandma delivered the baby, she kept singing a weird song. I couldn't hear the specific lyrics. I understand, and with my grandma's singing, the red rope kept beating!
Even the scissors next to it and the basin of clear water vibrated slightly with my grandma's singing.

What frightened me the most was that I seemed to vaguely hear a third voice coming from the white cloth: the voice of a hoarse and weak old man.

As soon as the voice came out, everyone at the scene trembled in fright and turned pale.It was only later that I found out that the owner of that voice was actually the second master who died not long ago, that is, the second brother of Grandpa Gousheng.

"Second Master, the dead should not disturb the lives of the living. What are you trying to do? After all, he is your grandson."

"I... my ancestral finger wrench, my wrench finger..." The old voice said vaguely, and I seemed a little unsure whether it was a human voice or the rustling sound of the big locust tree.

My grandma hesitated for a moment, and then roared at the top of her voice, "You son of a bitch, are you going back to your mother's old business again, and you took your second master's grave?"

When my grandma yelled this, the dog ran over immediately: "Second Master, I was wrong, I am so poor that I can't eat anymore, Second Master, don't be as knowledgeable as me, I will give it back to you right away." , I will give it back to you."

As he said that, he hurriedly took off the jade wrench finger in his hand and threw it on the top of the white cloth.

"Don't stop, roll under the big locust tree, and continue to kowtow." My grandma scolded me for a while, and then began to talk kindly to that 'second master': "his second master, the child in this stomach, but The flesh and blood of your family, this son of a bitch has been passed down for three generations, even if he does something wrong, he won’t end up dying, right?”

"I'm hungry, I'm hungry!" said the old voice.

"I'll ask the dog leftover to cook you some Shandong cuisine, three meat and two vegetables, how about it? You go back and wait."

In this way, my grandma talked with that 'second master' for a long time, and the second master seemed to finally let go. With a strange evil wind blowing, the scene returned to deathly silence.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, ah, ah..."

Time passed by every minute and every second, and there was no moaning in the white cloth. Everyone thought that my grandma could not succeed, and when adults and children could not be saved, a sudden burst of crying from a baby broke the silence.

And that dog leftover, just finished his hundredth rattle at this moment!

The scene immediately boiled over, even Gou Sheng didn't come back to his senses, he was in despair just now, this kind of great sadness and joy changed too quickly, his brain couldn't accept it.

My grandma stood up sweating profusely, glanced at Gousheng, and cursed: "You son of a bitch, next time you do this kind of evil, don't let me pay your debts for you."

After speaking, he greeted me and told me to go up quickly.

And I already knew what grandma was going to do, so I cooperatively put my mouth on the newborn baby's lips, sucked in the baby's first breath, and sucked it into the stomach.

I have repeated this action dozens of times, and I am already familiar with it. Every time my grandma delivers babies, I must be present, and under the compulsion of my grandma, I will inhale the first breath of these children.

And the reason I took that damned first breath was thanks to my parents!
(End of this chapter)