If You Give Me Three Days of Light: The Best Collection of Helen Keller

Chapter 11 My Life (9)
After the exam, Mr. Gilman delivered my answer sheet to the chief examiner, and he also attached a piece of proof to the exam paper: Helen Keller, candidate No. 233, completed all the answers independently.

All the other exam subjects are taken in this way, although none of the later exams are as difficult as German.I remember that on the day of the Latin test, Professor Shi Ling came to the test room and told me that I had successfully passed the German test.This news doubled my confidence, so I finished the exams of other subjects with a very relaxed mind.

Learning Dilemma

When I started my second year of study at Cambridge Secondary School, I was full of hope and determination to win.But during the first few weeks, I encountered some unexpected difficulties.

Mr. Gilman thinks that I should focus on studying mathematics this year.I was studying physics, algebra, geometry, Greek and Latin.Unfortunately, many of the books I needed were not available in Braille, so in some subjects I was missing the necessary learning tools.Moreover, these subjects are big classes that many people take together, and it is impossible for the teacher to tutor me individually.Teacher Sullivan had to read all the textbooks to me and translate what the teacher said for me. For the first time in 11 years, her miraculous hands showed a feeling of powerlessness.

In addition, I needed to write down algebra and geometry operations in class, and I needed to solve physics puzzles, which didn't work out until we bought a braille tablet.

Through this machine, I can record my steps and process of solving problems.I can't see the geometric figures drawn on the blackboard. The only way for me to get image recognition is to use a cushion as a support, and then splice the geometric figures with straight or curved thin wires.I had to trace the shapes in my head.As Mr. Keith said in his report, I should not only grasp the shape of the figure, but also make assumptions, calculations and inferences.

In short, every discipline has its difficulties.There were times when I lost all my courage and betrayed how I really felt, which makes me feel ashamed now looking back.Especially my attitude towards Teacher Sullivan when I was grumpy made me regret it.Because of all my mentors and friends, she is the only one who can heal the pain in my heart. She can "straighten the curve and make the rough place smooth."

Gradually, my difficulties began to disappear.With Braille books and other learning tools in hand, I regained my confidence and returned to my studies.Two courses, Algebra and Geometry, continued to contend with my efforts.As I said before, I was born with a lack of mathematical mind, and I can't always understand the relationship between different points and planes very well.Geometric shapes in particular annoyed me because I couldn't see the relationship between the different shapes, and even when placed on a mat I couldn't understand how the various parts of it were interconnected.It was not until Mr. Keith began to teach me that I had a clear understanding of mathematics, and I had stepped into the threshold of geometry.

Just as I was beginning to overcome the difficulties, then one incident changed everything.

Until the Braille books were in place, Mr. Gilman, despite my vehement objections, advised Mr. Sullivan of indulging my overstudy, and cut down the frequency with which I recited the lessons.

At first, we had an agreement that, if necessary, I should spend five years preparing for college.But by the end of my first year, my success in the exams proved to Mrs Sullivan, Miss Harper (the headmaster of Cambridge Ladies' School) and others that I might easily be able to do so in a little over two years. The preparations are done.Mr. Gilman agreed with me at first, but when I encountered a little difficulty in my studies, he decided that I was overworking and thought I should stay at his school for another three years.I don't like his plan because I want to go to college with my classmates.

On the morning of November 11th, I felt unwell, so I didn't go to class.Although Mrs. Sullivan knew that my condition was not serious, when Mr. Gilman heard about it, he declared that I must have collapsed. Classmates take the final exam together.In the end, Mr. Gilman's disagreement with Mrs. Sullivan led directly to my mother's removal of Mildred and me from Cambridge Ladies' High School.

After a brief delay, it was arranged that I should continue my studies, this time with Mr. Merton S. Keith, of Cambridge Ladies' College.During the winter of this year, apart from studying at school, Mr. Sullivan and I stayed at the house of our friend Mr. J. E. Chamberlin, who lived in Ransome, 25 miles from Boston.

From February to July 1898, Mr. Keith came to Wrantham twice a week and taught me Algebra, Geometry, Greek and Latin.Teacher Sullivan will translate his explanation for me.

In October, 1898, we returned to Boston.For the next eight months, Mr. Keith gave me five lessons a week for about an hour each.Every class, he first answered the questions I didn't understand in the last class, and then assigned new homework. At the same time, he took home the Greek homework I typed on the typewriter that week, carefully corrected it, and then returned it to me. .

It is in this way that I prepare for entering university, and I have never stopped.I found that the process of self-study is easier and more enjoyable than being taught in the classroom.There will be no sense of haste or confusion in self-study.Mr. Keith has plenty of time to answer my questions, so I learn quickly and well, and the effect is much better than studying in school.Still, math was the toughest subject for me, more than any other subject I've taken.I wish algebra and geometry were half as easy as language and literature.

But even math, Mr. Keith can make it interesting.He can always break down those difficult problems into small parts, making it easier for me to understand, and he keeps my mind active and curious all the time.He trained me to use rational thinking, to seek the conclusion of things calmly and objectively, and not to hit and miss aimlessly.He is always tolerant of me, no matter how stupid I am, he is always full of confidence in me. If it were someone else, he might have lost patience with my clumsiness.

On the 1899th and 6th of June, 29, I sat for admission to Radcliffe College.The first day is Elementary Greek and Advanced Latin, and the second day is German, Algebra, and Advanced Greek.

The school did not allow Mr. Sullivan to read the test paper for me, but hired Mr. Eugene C. Vining from the Perkins Institute for the Blind to translate the test paper into American Braille for me.Mr. Vining was a complete stranger to me, and he did not communicate with me except in writing in Braille.The invigilator is also a stranger, and he doesn't intend to have any communication with me at all.

Braille worked fine on the language tests, but problems started to crop up on the geometry and algebra tests.I was confused and frustrated, especially the algebra, on which I wasted a lot of precious time.In fact, I know by heart all the alphabetic braille in use in this country, British, American, and New York floating point.But the symbols and signs used by these three systems are very different in geometry and algebra, and in algebra I have only used British Braille.

Two days before the exam, Mr. Vining sent me a copy of the old Harvard algebra test.To my dismay, it was a test paper written in American Braille.I sat down at once and wrote a letter to Mr. Vining, hoping that he would explain the meaning of the symbols.Mr. Vining sent me another test paper in his reply, and attached a table of symbols, and I immediately set about learning those symbols.It was the night before the algebra exam, and I was still desperately trying to analyze the extremely complicated notation, and I still couldn't figure out the combination of curly braces, parentheses, and root signs.Teacher Sullivan and I were all frowning, full of ominous premonitions about the next day's exam.Fortunately, we arrived a little earlier on the day of the exam, and asked Mr. Weining to explain the use of American symbols in detail.

Despite this, I still encountered unclearly marked questions in the geometry test. I have always been used to writing propositions in lines, or asking others to write propositions on the palm of my hand.But now that these propositions were all in front of me, I found myself confused, unable to concentrate in my mind, and unable to understand what I was reading.

I still had the same problem when taking the algebra test.Anyway, I guess it's the math notation I've just learned that's bothering me.Also, I couldn't see what I was writing on the typewriter.Whereas I used to always study in Braille and in my head.Mr. Keith has always encouraged me to solve problems mentally. He did not specifically train me how to write the answer sheet.Therefore, my process of doing the papers is quite slow, and I have to read the examples over and over again to get a general idea of ​​​​what I should do.In fact, I'm not even sure I'm reading the symbols correctly.I found it hard to be flexible.

But I won't blame anyone.The administrative committee at Radcliffe did not realize the magnitude of the barriers they had set for me, nor did they understand the particular difficulties I had to overcome to pass the exams.But if they unconsciously created obstacles in my path, I felt immense relief and relief knowing that I was capable of overcoming each of them.

college dream

The struggle to get into college is over, and now I can get into Radcliffe whenever I want.However, it was suggested that I should be tutored by Mr. Keith for another year before I could enter school.So it wasn't until the fall of 1900 that my dream of going to college was realized.

I vividly remember my first day at Radcliffe College.This day means a lot to me.I've been looking forward to it for years.There is a latent power in my heart, which overwhelms the persuasion of my friends, and is even stronger than the call in my heart. It imperceptibly drives me to compete with those who can see and hear.I know that the road is difficult, but I have the ambition to overcome all difficulties.I have taken to heart the wise old Roman adage: "Expelled from Rome, yet living in Rome." I have been blocked from the avenue of knowledge, so I can only force myself to go through the country roads less traveled by—— That's all I do.Of course I know that there are many such small roads in the university. On the way, the girls I touched with my hands all have the same mentality as me. They are diligent in thinking, love knowledge, and have high fighting spirit.

I eagerly started college life.In front of me is a beautiful and bright new world. I am full of confidence and ready to accept all knowledge.I believe that in the magical spiritual kingdom, I will have the same freedom as everyone else.The people, the landscape, the customs, the joys and sorrows of this kingdom should also be alive and real.The lecture halls of universities should be filled with the spirit and thoughts of sages and sages, and professors are the embodiment of wisdom.

But I soon discovered that college is not as romantic as I thought.The beautiful dreams of my youth and ignorance were then dimmed.Gradually, I began to feel the disadvantages of going to college.

Until now, what touches me the most is still the tension of time.Before, I had leisurely time to meditate and reflect on myself.I often sit all night long, listening to the beautiful music from the depths of my heart, which can only be heard in quiet leisure. Heartstrings.But in college, you don't have time to talk to your own mind.You go to college to learn, not to think.Once through the doors of study, leave your favorite pleasures outside: solitude, books, fantasies, and the rustling pines.I thought I should find some consolation in my thoughts, and use them as a deposit for my future happiness.But I am a person who has no long-term plans. I would rather enjoy immediate happiness than plan for a rainy day.

My first year majors were French, German, History, English Composition and English Literature.In French, I read Corneille, Molière, Racine, Alfred Musset, and Sainte-Beuve.In the German class, I read the works of Goethe and Schiller.I quickly reviewed history from the fall of the Roman Empire to the 18th century; in English literature, I studied Milton's poetry and his "On the Liberty of the Press" with a critical eye

I am often asked how I overcame the inconvenience of studying at university.Of course, my situation is unique in the classroom.The professor's voice was weak, and he seemed to be speaking through a telephone.The content of the teacher's lecture will be spelled into my hand by Mrs. Sullivan as fast as possible, but in such a hurry, the personality of the teacher's lecture style will be lost.Like a hound chasing a hare, I am often out of reach for the words that are spelled hastily into my hands.

Even in this situation, I don't think I am any worse than the girls who take notes.If the whole mind is occupied by mechanical listening and frantic recording, then it is impossible for you to pay too much attention to the connotation or style of the lecture notes.I couldn't take notes during class because my hands were busy "listening".Usually I jot down what I can remember when I get home.In addition, I had to do exercises on the typewriter, take notes, write reviews, and complete class tests and mid-term and final exams, so that it would not be difficult for teachers to see how limited my knowledge was.

I am using a Hammond typewriter.I had tried many models before, but I found that the Hammond typewriter was the machine that best suited my job requirements.This kind of typewriter has a variable keyboard, you can move the shuttle several times, and each time you move it will switch to a different font, so that you can switch between Greek, French or math characters, I think, if there is no This kind of typewriter it, I learned in college is almost impossible.

The various textbooks I needed for my courses were rarely available in Braille texts, so I had to have their contents spelled into my hand.In this way, compared with other students, I have to spend more time preparing homework, and I have to face many difficulties that others will not encounter.

At every moment, I had to focus on keeping my mind aroused, sometimes reading chapters for hours at a stretch.The fact that I live in a world without laughing, singing and dancing often makes me sad.But it didn't take long for me to pull myself together again, and to laugh the grievances away.Because if a person wants to gain real talent and learning, he must climb the strange mountains and dangerous peaks by himself. Since there is no flat road to the top, I have to walk my own winding path.Although I have slipped and fell many times, I still get up and hit the hidden obstacles.

Every time I lose my temper, I learn to better control my emotions.I faltered and walked long distances just to get that little gain.I am encouraged by the world, and I am full of expectations to climb higher and higher, and a broad horizon has emerged before my eyes.Every struggle means a victory.Hard work has made me touch the brilliant sea of ​​clouds, the blue sky, and the highlands of desire.Also, I don't always struggle on my own.William Wade and Mr. E. E. Allen, Director of the Pennsylvania Institute for the Education of the Blind, procured for me as many books in Braille as I needed.Their meticulous and thoughtful service has given me great help, and their encouragement to me is precious, far beyond the imagination of ordinary people.

Last year was my second year of study at Radcliffe College. I studied English composition, including the "Bible" of English literature, politics of various countries in America and Europe, lyric poetry of Horace and Latin comedy.Among them, the most active classroom atmosphere is the writing class.Mr. Charles Townsend Copeland's writing class was always full of wit, wit and wit, and I think he taught it better than any other teacher for that term.What he makes you appreciate is the purest and most powerful literature.In just one hour, he can make me intoxicated by the eternal beauty created by the masters of ancient literature, but he doesn't add a little extra explanation, and let the work speak for itself.As a result, you will be intoxicated by the author's profound thoughts, and you will be completely intoxicated by the thunderous thunder of the "Old Testament", even ignoring the existence of Jehovah God.When you come home from the classroom, you will feel that you have "peeped the eternal harmony of spirit and form, and truth and beauty have sprouted on the ancient branches of time".

(End of this chapter)