Fendai Weiyang

Chapter 256
Since I was a child, I knew that I was born good-looking. If it wasn't for this, I wouldn't be able to sell it at such a high price.

I had already remembered at that time, and knew that I was sold. Although my mother told me that she loved me and wanted me to live a good life, but for me who was so sensitive that I almost felt inferior, that had become my secret. An indelible memory in my heart.

In the family of the rich and honored in the mother's mouth, it is true that there is no need to worry about food and clothing, and there is even a little girl to serve.

However, life is not so easy.

Together with many sisters of the same age, I have to learn something every day, and if I don’t learn well, I will be punished.

It's nothing at all, but one day, a little sister who was often punished suddenly disappeared...

The nanny who taught us manners had a cold face and said in an accustomed tone, the mansion doesn't support useless people, and they can't learn well, so what's the use of keeping her?
My heart suddenly became infinitely panicked. We Xian people are not as used to playing tricks like Guochao.

The rest of the little sisters panicked together, but life has to go on as usual, and we have no way out.

The young girls can only grit their teeth and study hard, for fear that they will be the next one to disappear without a sound.

My talent is very good for Mammy, and because of my charming face, Mammy is very caring.

At that time, I knew how to flatter myself without a teacher, and I got the words from the drunken mother. It turns out that we girls will be given as gifts in the end.

Maybe it was given to the powerful figures of the Korean people, maybe it was rewarded to the soldiers with meritorious service, or it would be sent to the imperial court as a new thing for a foreigner.

I don't know how I survived all those years in the mansion.

There are no close sisters around, and everyone is too busy to take care of themselves, but the companions still disappear one by one.

This kind of fear is like being held in someone's hand, pinching it lightly and heavily, but you don't know if it will be crushed in the next moment.

One day, under the order of my mother, I followed her out of the house to run some errands, and met my mother and my younger brother on the way.

I thought that after so many years, I would no longer remember their appearance, but I didn't expect that I could only stand there without moving.

When I left home, my younger brother was still young, so it's normal not to remember me, but my mother recognized me very quickly.

The weakness and panic that I could not bear to show in the mansion, when I met my mother's eyes, I couldn't help but collapse...

Save me..., I don't want to die silently, as if I've never been in this world, I don't want to be someone else's plaything, I don't want to...

At that time, I was afraid that blood and tears could flow from my eyes...

But no, because my mother quickly turned her head away...

"What? Did you see your old friend?"

I looked at Mammy as usual, and shook my head, as if I had never seen anyone before...

……

Perhaps it was my obedience and obedience that allowed me to choose my own way out.

Do you want to stay in the Xian nationality, or be sent to the country?

I chose Guochao.

It was a completely strange place, completely far away from the Xian people, and far away from people I didn't want to see again.

I was sent to the imperial court, and then I was given to a son surnamed Jiang by King Ning.

That person is imposing, and he looks like an ordinary man at first sight, this is my future destination.

I am confident, with my freely retractable means and my unparalleled beauty, who in the world can't be fascinated?It depends on whether I want to get lost or not.

But I didn't expect that this Mr. Jiang opened my eyes.

Even if I was covered in a light veil and danced gracefully to a song, surprise and obsession appeared in his eyes, but when the banquet was over and he was the only one left, his eyes were clear, and there was nothing left. Little fluctuations.

How is this possible?The art of seductiveness that I risked my life to learn didn't work at all?How is this possible?
I was trying to find out the flaws of this person, but I was shocked to hear that the country was in turmoil, Mr. Jiang was imprisoned, and our family members were put into a closed courtyard.

I never thought that this life would end in such a perfunctory way, but when I really had to wait in the yard to die, I thought about it, and this life didn’t make me look forward to it. a blessing.

I spent the days together with Miss Qiaoyin, whom Mr. Jiang Mingmei is marrying, waiting for someone to break into the courtyard and set us free.

Unexpectedly, what was waiting was good news.

Mr. Jiang is safe, we can go back to him.

But is this good news?I have no idea.

Only then did I know that Qiaoyin was not Mr. Jiang's wife, there was some kind of agreement between the two of them. A person like Mr. Jiang who looks like he has no desires and desires already has a person who is as precious as life in his heart.

It's so good that people can take it to heart like an eyeball. It's really different from someone like me who buys and sells with silver at will.

I am envious, jealous, and unwilling.

Because I have been given away like this, and I will be like this for the rest of my life.

But I'm not reconciled, the harsh training|training of the Xian nationality almost takes up my life, I'm not reconciled to just living numbly in the back house so silently.

Mr. Jiang will be interested in his wife, which means that he has emotions and desires. As long as he has emotions, I can make what I have learned effective. If I want to fight, at least I must be worthy of the money that bought me, right?

I mess around, show my face, and have no shame... I think I probably didn't think of myself as a person at that time.

But no matter how much I jumped, no one would pay attention to it, and the panic that hadn't arisen in my heart for a long time reappeared.

It's no one's business anymore, is it a mistake for me to come into this world?

I was overwhelmed, I didn't catch the wind and cold for a while, and I took advantage of the situation to be quiet for a while, originally, I would cough to death before I could say a few words, even if I saw Mr. Jiang, what could I do?

The wind wasn't too low that day, I sat in the yard as if I was dying, with thin clothes and disheveled hair, imagining that the whole person was drifting away with the wind.

Unexpectedly, I choked on the wind and couldn't stop coughing. When my throat was so sweet that I almost lost my breath, I only felt my arm being pulled by someone, and a finger was pressing on a sore spot.

Surprised, I struggled to raise my head, and saw him facing the light, frowning, as if impatient.

I don't know if it was the sore acupuncture point, but I finally managed to relieve my cough, only to find out that he is a doctor.

"If you want to die, this method is too slow and exhausting, why don't you change it to a simpler and faster method?"

"I... I didn't..."

"If you don't, just be honest. You think you're still pretty cool when you come out to blow the air at this time, don't you?"

This is a very irritating person who speaks with sarcasm and ridicule. In front of him, it seems that everything he does is his own fault.

But he still saw me sick and prescribed medicine, and then left without looking back.

I clearly didn't let anyone know about my illness. This person can't be sent by my wife. He just appeared and left suddenly.

My wife came to me and said that I could have a choice of options.

She said that she would not give Mr. Jiang to other people, so as long as I want, I can choose what I want.

I didn't believe it at first, where in the world is there such a cheap thing?I am a plaything sent by a foreigner, so I can just dispose of it casually, and I still need to spend so much time finding a husband for me?

It was only after I had more contact with Madam that I realized that Madam is serious.

She is not generous and gentle, but fun and casual. She can't pretend to be virtuous to spread the word for Mr. Jiang, but she sincerely wants us to have a good home, so that she can feel at ease.

This is much better than the wives I've seen, at least, she won't get in the way of others.

Can I really choose?When I was still in doubt, Madam had already sent many families for me to choose from, and she said boldly, "Even if I choose, my husband can still be the master of these people."

"..."

In all fairness, the candidates chosen by my wife are all good. If I marry, I should not be treated with contempt anymore, and I may be able to spend this life peacefully.

But there was always some strange emotion in my heart, and I couldn't explain it clearly. I didn't figure out what the strange feeling was until I got sick again and saw Dr. Jia.

This is the first person in my life who approached me proactively.

Without any purpose or interest, not because of my beauty and value, or even a face full of disgust, but he still walked towards me.

For the first time in my life, I felt like a human being, someone who took the initiative to care, although the tone was extremely bad.

When I hear his sneering words next to my ears, I can feel the throbbing in my heart...

Didn't Madam say that I can choose my husband-in-law?
I secretly inquired a lot, and learned that Dr. Jia did not have a family. This news made me even happier.

But the madam said that Dr. Jia is not from their Jiang family, and she has nothing to ask of the Jiang family, so she has nothing to do.

It's okay, it's okay, as long as Madam doesn't object, I can do the rest by myself.

……

My pursuit of Dr. Jia can be regarded as shocking, pretending to be sick, climbing the wall, making love, being courteous... I tried all kinds of tricks, but it didn't seem to work.

Dr. Jia treated me without any pretense, and even walked around me, but he didn't discourage me.

This is the first time I have taken the initiative to like someone, how can I give up?

I even had the cheek to go to my wife's place and kneel, begging her to take me in before I managed to charm Dr. Jia.

I know this request is too much, madam is absolutely necessary, but I have no other choice...

Madam agreed and let me live in peace of mind very casually. She said that the Jiang family had planned to raise me for the rest of my life. They were poor girls, and she would not make things difficult for me.

I feel that Guochao seems to be my blessed land. The hearts of the Korean people who were soaked in hatred and despair little by little before seem to be washing away little by little.

After I have no worries, I put away all the crooked ways I learned in the Xian nationality, and I am willing to become virtuous and virtuous for Dr. Jia.

I sent him hot food and clothes, shoes and socks that I carefully made, just like all the little girls in Guochao would do, learning to let him know my heart.

However, the effect is minimal.

The wife said that Dr. Jia is a man with a story, and there are things in his heart that no one knows, that's why he has never married at this age.

I chose an extremely difficult path for myself, but I have never regretted it.

Even if those flattery didn't get a response, I never gave up. Sincerity is as good as gold and stone, isn't that what people say?I just need to persevere a bit more and use some snacks, so why worry about not getting anything in return?

I just waited like this for a year or two. As long as Jia Qingzhi never married a wife, I will never give up.

But what I was waiting for was an invitation sent by Jia Qingzhi...

My wife said that Dr. Jia will not get married easily in this life, saying that he already has the consciousness and plan to be alone forever.

And if he chooses to get married now, is he finally finding someone who will be with him for the rest of his life, or is he trying to avoid my endless pursuit?

I sat in the courtyard for a long time holding the invitation.

Because I don't want to get married, after Qiaoyin got married, I was the only one left in this villa.

But I never felt lonely, because there was a fire burning in my heart at that time, even if no one talked all day, I felt it was sweet and hot.

Why is it suddenly cold now?Is it already this month?

I don't know how long I stayed there, when the little girls woke me up, my body was already terribly cold, but I was still holding the invitation card in my hand.

It turns out that I am so annoying to people, I thought the light, but they avoided me like a tiger and a wolf...

So, in fact, my fate has been doomed from the very beginning. No one wants it, not even my own parents. Who else would want it?

Maybe I shouldn't have lived so desperately in that mansion of the Xian people. Wouldn't it be better if I disappeared without a sound?
……

I don't know why, I fell ill, and the symptoms were fierce.

In the past, in this situation, I would have sent someone to invite Dr. Jia, but now, I can't do it.

If I can't get it, I will destroy it. I am reluctant to use it on Dr. Jia.

Since he is going to get married, why bother him?Dr. Jia looked unkind, but he was gentle in his heart. No matter how cynical or sarcastic, he never left me alone, so at least, I don't want my last bit of shame in his heart to disappear.

Isn't it just a disease, just take care of it casually, I asked no one to tell me, lying alone in the room enduring the discomfort and pain.

It's very simple, just bear with it, don't expect someone to help you, this kind of weak emotion is not qualified for people like me.

After being groggy for a few days, I felt that my body seemed to be lighter, and I felt a sense of relief, which was gratifying.

"Sister Ling'er, I want to be a bird so I can fly out easily, find some fruit to eat when I'm hungry, find some water to drink when I'm thirsty, and rest on a branch when I'm tired, and then I can continue to think about where to go Just go there."

This is the voice of a sister who was close to me in the mansion of the Xian nationality. So I remember it so clearly?

However, this sister disappeared after a few days, without any movement, just disappeared.

I thought, I will remember these, am I close to them?

That's great, in fact, I should have followed at that time, this elder sister took care of me, she would gently touch my head and smile softly at me.

I want my body to be more relaxed, so that I won’t feel any pain, why haven’t I been relieved yet?I don't want to stay here anymore?

It seemed that something extremely undrinkable was poured in, and I gritted my teeth willfully and refused to open my mouth.

I hate it, I don't want to drink the medicine, the medicine will pull me back, I don't want to go back...

But more medicine was fed in without any explanation, and the soft thing pried open my mouth, so I didn't even have the strength to close it.

"I thought I had nothing else to care about in this world, and I thought it would be a good excuse for her to find another place while she was still young."

"You should be satisfied. Didn't she find someone else? Don't take this medicine. I promise that Lingji won't bother you in the future."

"lady……"

"I know it's not your fault. I didn't expect Lingji to be so determined. You are right. She is a bit extreme. If it wasn't because other doctors were helpless, I wouldn't invite you, neither would Lingji. hope so."

"...I have to, thank you madam for being the one, thank you for letting someone tell me..."

"..."

The sound in my ear makes me restless, I want to experience that light and light feeling again, but I am always dragged by the bitter medicine, oh, and there are familiar and unfamiliar voices in my ear.

"... They said that your will to survive is too weak... Do you just like me that much? You can't live without...?"

"I've lived like this too, but you see, I'm still alive. Speaking of which, I'm not as good as you."

"Don't you want to see me? You didn't tell me when you were so sick. When I came here, I even twisted my foot..."

It's so noisy, I don't want to hear it at all!
My body hurts more and more, and my throat hurts like someone cut it with a knife. I don't want to feel so uncomfortable, so why don't you just let me sleep?

"Frowning again, don't you want to wake up..."

"Don't sleep, don't you want to see the Unfreezing Spring in Yunfeng Mountain? I'll take you there when I wake up."

"There is also the Thousand Bamboo Forest and the Peach Blossom Pond in Lake Sawa. You said that it is a holy place, but you didn't tell me what kind of holy place it is. You can tell me after you go there?"

The familiar voice seemed to be stained with honey, and I didn't want to hear it, just like those sweet words that repeatedly warned us in the mansion of the Xian people, we must not be bewitched|bewitched.

But the corners of my eyes were wiped away with hands.

"Forget it, calamity is calamity, I want to escape, but I can't do it, so wake up..."

I want to say that the Peach Blossom Pond in Zehu Lake is a sacred place for fate and life. My wife was taken there by Mr. Jiang. I also want to go there once, but I just think about it.

Because there needs to be sincerity from both of them to be effective, I don't expect this extravagantly, I just want to get a taste of the spiritual energy...

It took the courage of my life to open my eyes.

If this is a dream, I also recognize it...

In fact, it is so simple to die, but to live is something that requires courage. If you live for a long time, you may encounter anything.

Just like the Dr. Jia I saw in a haze, with scars on his face, which only had an expression of frowning, leisurely, he showed a smile...

(End of this chapter)