Second flower bloom

Chapter 11

Reincarnation is a kind of inertia, constantly changing habits can make that huge inertia stop slowly.Start changing these habits now. This is renunciation.

People often talk about integrating practice into our lives, but it's strange how, despite our best efforts, practice remains inseparable from our lives.When we meditate, chant scriptures, and face others with a smile, we feel that we have done a good job, and we have truly applied the Dharma to our lives. However, when we are depressed, angry, painful, and wronged, the teachings of the Buddha begin to be forgotten. clear.

Except for the extremely clear and strong sense of humiliation and frustration at that time, everything else receded into the blurred background.Maybe some people can't help but wonder whether the various methods taught by our master are really effective.Why doesn't spiritual practice change our lives consistently?Why does the Buddhadharma, which has transformed many people and freed them to enlightenment, always fail when it comes to me?Perhaps the answer lies in the fact that we hold on to life too tightly.

Whether consciously or unconsciously, everything in life is too important to us, work, family, money, reputation, relationship, we hope that all of these are under control, stable, safe and secure.For this reason, it is not enough to put all your energy into it, but also to insure your life through practice.However, life is like the sand we hold in our hands, the tighter we hold it, the faster it will be lost.

In the face of impermanence, the practice aimed at strengthening life and self becomes fragmented and has little effect.Life doesn’t get any worse if we relax, don’t take everything in life as important, and focus more on our practice.Instead, real transformation occurs at this time, and we also get our first taste of freedom as we relax.

Relaxation can be said to be the first lesson of spiritual practice.

The most common state of people in life is tension and confrontation, and they are nervous about themselves, others, and everything around them.We don't like to live outside our control, any uncertainty will make us restless, so we are always nervously busy, even if the body is not moving, the heart never stops, thinking far and wide to prevent the erroneous.When everything is going well, we hope that this wonderful state can be maintained, and we don't want to see any unexpected events break the complete peace of life.

Anything that happens in life makes us tense, and we must immediately judge its pros and cons to take corresponding actions.What is beneficial to you should make it the icing on the cake, and what is not good to you should quickly find a way to suppress or push it out.We think we are the troubleshooters of life, and we look like we are on the alert all day long.

When you are in good times, if you are so uneasy, you can imagine how frightened you will be when you are in adversity.We seem to walk around with a millstone on our heads every day, feeling that we are about to be overwhelmed, and the world shrinks to only the pile of difficulties in front of us.When things don't go our way, we become more and more convinced that we are the most unlucky wretch in the world.

This feeling of self-pity makes us feel that we have more reason to blame, be mean, revenge, and toss.We enjoy it so much that we forget that life is inherently fickle, mixed, and even chaotic.We cannot make it more reliable and orderly, even if we spend our whole lives.Practice is just to let yourself relax, stop fighting, get used to the uncertainty and live in it, some people also call this freedom.

I remember that when I was 17 years old, I studied Buddhism with Khenpo Caiwang Jigme in my hometown, starting from the common journey.I was nervous and excited, and I practiced day and night in my hut every day.Everything was normal at first, until the problem appeared when I meditated on the impermanence of life: I kept visualizing in the same posture for a long time, which made my body overly tense and stiff, and the deep observation of impermanence made my heart full of depression and sadness.My whole body was tense, I couldn't develop a clear awareness, and the experience that should be achieved has not appeared for a long time, which made me both guilty and anxious.Finally, I walked out of the hut in a daze during the day when I was supposed to be retreating.I don't know where I'm going, I just want to get rid of the embarrassment in my heart.

My master Caiwang Jigme Khenpo called me to his residence and said to me: "Disciple, you should open the window to see the emptiness outside, which is quiet and vast. Try to relax your body and mind, gaze at the sky, and slowly put Melt your heart into the sky and live peacefully." I followed the teacher's instructions, and I got out of the predicament very quickly.This precious method taught by Khenpo Caiwang Jigme has benefited me for a lifetime.Relax, let the heart connect with the outside world, do not deliberately pursue any state or result, just live in peace, this is really the most important practice.

More than 2000 years ago, Shakyamuni Buddha saw a star under the bodhi tree and became enlightened. He couldn't help but sigh: All sentient beings have a bodhicitta that is inherently self-contained.No matter how greedy, cruel, treacherous, or ignorant we have been, it has never detracted from it in the slightest.It has always been there and has never left us, so practice is not to accomplish anything or prove anything, but to guide us to relax and get closer to our original heart.

The reason why it is difficult for us to realize our original mind is that most of our actions in daily life lead us to go in the opposite direction to our original mind.Many habits, especially the habits of the mind, put us in trouble again and again, such as the tense confrontation mentioned above, as well as seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages, shirking responsibility, being self-righteous, and caring too much about our own ways, etc.Our practice is to reverse these habits in a gentle way, so that we can gradually get rid of embarrassing situations.

Seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages is probably the most deeply rooted habit of all sentient beings.There is nothing wrong with seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages. We want to get rid of pain and seek relief, which is a manifestation of seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages.But the problem is that many people are addicted to seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages. As soon as they feel uncomfortable, they immediately look for other comforts, leaving no time for themselves to recognize and experience.When it’s hot, you need to turn on the air conditioner, and when it’s cold, you need to turn on the heater. It’s hard work in the wind and sun, and you have to take a car when you go out.In this rush to find comfort, we not only miss out on the joys of experiencing the seasons, but we also become more and more vulnerable and vulnerable.

Addiction to seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages is also called "indulgence".We generally think that indulgence is the indulgence, but on a more subtle level, as long as there are conditions, everyone is willing to indulge, because indulgence is a habitual way for people to escape anxiety.

When people are lonely, bored or feeling stressed, they will drink, overeat, shop, make phone calls, surf the Internet, or stay on the sofa and change TV channels, anyway, they just don’t want to leave some space for themselves to face that Loneliness, boredom or stress.The very activities that are used to help us escape our insecurities create new worries and problems of their own.Our initial intention is to free ourselves from pain and find comfort, but what we actually do is replace one pain with another, and the cycle repeats, reinforcing our fear.

In the past, people could write letters, read books, or cultivate some kind of hobby to relieve their emotions, but now people are far from that kind of patience, and they quickly get bored with everything except reincarnation.Life is like morning dew, but we still think it doesn't go fast enough.It can be seen everywhere in modern society that many people are addicted to seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages.People can't tolerate even the slightest discomfort, dissatisfaction, or inconvenience, so they keep looking for comfort, convenience, and believe that they can find it.

It is often heard that people attribute the increase in troubles and inner emptiness to material prosperity, but this is not always the case.Matter will have a certain influence on people's hearts, but the key is still people's hearts are at work.There are many troubles, because after the improvement of material conditions, there are more things attached to in the heart.In the past, you may have only one watch and you can’t let go of it, but now you have a house, a car, and a deposit that hold your heart all the time.The inner emptiness is also because there are more choices to escape pain after material abundance, you can change the way of comfort more frequently, and as a result, you feel dissatisfaction and frustration more frequently.

Do you still remember when you were young, especially those who grew up in the era of material shortage, a piece of candy and a new dress can make you happy for a long time.When you receive such a gift from your parents or someone else, your heart is filled with gratitude.You will say thank you to them, you will cherish that piece of candy very much, and taste its taste with your heart, you will know how to appreciate your new clothes, and sincerely admire its beauty.But as you grow older, you see fewer and fewer gifts, and more and more things you can get are taken for granted because you are smart, capable, and hardworking.However, there are many smart people in this world, and many autistic patients are geniuses in certain fields.There are many capable people, not to mention those who work hard. Look at the workers on the construction site, who is not as hardworking as you?However, not all people who are smarter, more capable, and harder-working than you are more prosperous and more comfortable than you.It can only be said that you are luckier than them, but you forget to appreciate your blessings.

I am not saying that one should bow one's head and bear pain while one is alive.In fact, it is not a matter of whether we choose to suffer or not. The Buddha told us long ago: All feelings are suffering.

Nothing in this world is permanent, so everything we have and experience brings insecurity, which is probably a pain that no one is immune from.Then there are all kinds of pains, gross, small, intense, mild, that accompany our short life, you can also call them depression, loneliness, resentment, sorrow, fear, poverty, etc., whether these things What we are doing right now or not doing well will show up in our lives.It stands to reason that we should be very familiar with pain, but the fact is on the contrary, we are only familiar with our own fear and frustration when facing pain, but we never dare to take a closer look at pain itself.

I have been seriously ill four times since I was a child, and each time I have a different experience of pain.The first time I got chickenpox when I was about ten years old. Many children around me died of this disease.People in our area believe that drinking water before chickenpox is life-threatening, so I couldn't drink water for several days.I watched other people drinking water, and thought to myself: "Hurry up and get better from this disease! I will be happy when I get better. I must drink a lot of water."

The second time was when I was eleven or twelve years old and my legs were burned by fire.At that time, there was no condition to change the dressing regularly, so I could only allow my legs to become repeatedly inflamed and pus-filled.Township veterinarians occasionally give me anti-inflammatory, but every time it hurts so bad I can't breathe.Because I was afraid of him, I endured the pain and didn't dare to say anything, but for other people, I never let them touch my wound.My legs have been rotten for almost a year, and people in the village say that I will become crippled, but I don't care at all, I just worry that I will miss many opportunities to play.When I was able to stand up a little bit, I immediately went out to play with a limp.

The third time I fell ill was when I was studying at Zuoqingxi Risen Tibetan University. I was weak due to long-term malnutrition and overwork, but at this time a sudden severe stomach problem knocked me down.Bedridden for half a month, the situation got worse and worse.I wasn't worried that I was going to die then.It is not terrible to be poor and sick, and die in a foreign country.From the first day when every practitioner in Tibet embarks on the road of practice, he wants to stay away from his hometown, go to a land with no one, and is ready to die in the ravine at any time.My only regret is that there are still so many precious teachings that I have not learned.

The fourth time I got sick was in 1990. Heart disease once again pushed me to the brink of death.Although I was rescued that time, the heart disease has been attached to me since then, with good times and bad times, and it constantly scares the disciples who are taking care of me by my side.For me, an ordinary practitioner, illness has given me a great opportunity to meditate on renunciation and bodhicitta.It made me truly appreciate the fragility and impermanence of life. Often at the moment when you least expect it, death comes suddenly, and you can leave as soon as you say, without any accommodation, and you have to let go of any worries.Through my own pain, I feel the pain of others.The amputated boy, the yak waiting to be slaughtered, the mother looking for her child in the ruins... They are no longer alienated from me. Their pain and mine were originally connected, and they were originally one thing.

These four experiences of mine represent four attitudes toward pain:

Some people hope that the pain will end as soon as possible, and they will be happy forever after it is over; Find your way to freedom.

A disciple recently told me about her experience:
She was taken advantage of by her negligence and was deeply hurt.According to past experience, if such a big crisis occurs, her life will definitely become a mess, and she will definitely panic and try her best to find ways to retaliate and make amends.But this time, she decided to go against her habits, not rushing to blame herself or others, but to relax, keep her heart open, and feel the pain of being hurt deeply and clearly.Although she was also panicked, depressed, and remorseful, she was surprised to find that there was something soft in her heart, which was compassion for herself, for those who hurt her, for all people, and for all sentient beings.

The life that has been built with all our efforts and painstaking efforts turned out to be so unreliable and vulnerable.For the first time in her life, she realized renunciation.

In general, when people suffer, especially when they are hurt, their minds narrow.It is best to shrink the whole person into a peach core, thinking that it will be safer to have a hard shell for protection, but in fact this will only make the heart more depressed and rigid.It is better to open your heart, expose yourself to pain, and let that strong feeling disintegrate the deep-rooted concepts and habits in your heart.At this time, our original mind, or the compassion, renunciation, and bodhicitta reflected by it will have a chance to appear.

Taking ourselves too seriously is another tenacious habit of ours.Although we all know the Buddha's teaching that ego is the root of suffering, when we go back to our daily life, we still keep all the good things to ourselves, self-righteous, especially concerned about our own way, and blame others when we encounter problems .

The act of grabbing suggests inner fear.When a baby is born into this strange and unknown world, his fists are tightly grasped.When we are nervous and afraid, we can't help clenching our fists.Because we have been worrying about losing all our lives, we have been grabbing and hoarding all our lives, and we will never feel satisfied.

The Buddha taught us to give away that feeling of neediness by giving.Someone needs food, if we have food, give it to him; someone needs clothes, medicine, money, comfort, care, if we can, help.

When the Buddha was alive, a child once came to the Buddha to beg for something.The Buddha said: "You just say 'I don't want it', and I will give it to you." But the child was afraid that if he said "I don't want it", he would not get something, so he refused to say it.After begging several times, seeing that the Buddha still persisted, the child had no choice but to say "I don't want it", and got what he wanted immediately.

The Buddha said to his disciples: "This child has been stingy since time immemorial. Let alone giving up in action, he has never even said 'I don't want'. Let him say 'I don't want' today, It is to plant a little good root for future liberation."

Going from grabbing to letting go seems like a big choice, when in reality we have no choice.Like it or not, we are losing all our lives.Youth, laughter, tears, success, failure, love, hate, and even the whole world, will leave us.

The key to giving is not how many problems it can solve for others, but how we can learn to let go of our own attachments.External behavior will affect mentality over time, and people who are used to giving are more likely to let things go.

Once upon a time, a thief asked the mage for a way to escape. The mage asked him what he would do. He thought for a while and said, "I don't know anything but steal things." I can be freed."

Looking at myself now, I am still alive, and I can still feel the joy and beauty, even though decades of life have been lost, and many things that I think I can't give up have also been given up.We suddenly realize that we have nothing to lose from the beginning.

We think we are experienced and know everything, but most of the time we just understand the world by concepts and associations.In the eyes of ordinary people, white means purity, rose means love, beach means vacation, and rain means you can't get a taxi.The associations aroused by things are valued far more than the things themselves, but looking at things with fresh and open eyes, and personally feeling and recognizing the inner world and the outer world, not only requires courage, but also very hard work.I don't know if our self-righteousness feeds our laziness, or the other way around, but we are now stubborn and lazy, and think that this is the expression of loving and affirming life.

Usually, when faced with anything, our first reaction is to judge: "right", "wrong", "favorable", "harmful", "agree", "disagree", and then We began to speak loudly, quietly, silently, according to our own judgment, like a chattering commentator.This habit of eager to judge and inherent concepts prevent us from knowing things clearly.

A disciple told me about an experiment he personally experienced:
In the senior manager training class, the teacher asked the students to watch a video for a few minutes, and asked them to pay attention to how many people in white clothes appeared in the video.The video started to play, and there was a group of people in black clothes dancing on the screen. They were doing their own thing, spinning and interspersing without any rules.At this moment, a man in white entered the frame, twisted a few times and walked away, and then two, three, and more men in white came in and out.The students watched the video attentively, and all of them could tell the teacher exactly how many people in white clothes appeared before and after.

At this time, the teacher smiled and asked everyone: Has anyone seen chimpanzees?What?Besides the man in black and the man in white, there is also an orangutan?No one in the class noticed it!Everyone speculated that it must be an icon of an orangutan hiding in the background or in a corner, or a small decoration worn by some dancer. Everyone was too absorbed in counting people to notice these details.But the teacher said it was an orangutan the size of a human being, and it was dancing.

How is this possible!Dozens of talented "social elites" in the class are so lacking in observation?Everyone didn't believe anyone, and insisted on asking the teacher to replay the video again.This time, there is no need to count the men in white or the men in black, and there is no need to do anything, just watch the video.Sure enough, when the video was played halfway, a person dressed as a chimpanzee broke in and danced in the center of the screen for a long time before leaving.Everyone can see clearly this time!
Isn't this a very illuminating experiment?
We think we know everything, but often we only see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear, not what we can see and hear.

Buddha taught us to see and hear with an open mind, only then can we truly see and hear.When he first turned the wheel of Dharma in Sarnath, India, the first teaching he preached was: "This is suffering, you should know the pain." When you are in pain, you should know that you are in pain. Pain is pain, and don't misunderstand it. into something else.

Some prejudices and misunderstandings are easier to correct, we just need to change the habits of mind slightly, but there are also some wrong assumptions that have been passed down from ancient times and have become truth and common sense.If we want to live a more authentic life, sometimes we have to be people without common sense or even rebels.

Think of those practitioners who have renounced this life, who reject falsehood, and who do not want to hide in the experience of others.They felt that they had had enough of being teased, so they resolutely stayed away from this deceiving trick, and began to know and feel everything with sincerity.Although not everyone can be so determined, at least we can admit our ignorance, stop being stubborn, and stop being lazy and content to live a "second-hand life".Let your heart be quiet for a moment every day just to listen, see and feel.

Self-righteousness not only cuts us off from the present moment, but also makes us more vulnerable and more likely to violate others.

We care about our set.When I turn on the TV, I always see someone talking about my experience: how to cook, how to make up, how to lose weight, how to be successful, how to manage money.People all over the street wear the same disheveled hairstyle, and they all have a strong interest in their mobile phones as soon as they go to public places. Everyone's hearts fluctuate with the ups and downs of the stock market at the same time, but we still think that we are different from others. Different, very set.

This self-appreciation prevents us from properly relating and communicating with others.Some people seem to suffer from a special kind of "autism" and are keen to talk to themselves on any occasion.More people not only feel that they are right in everything, but must be right. If others do not agree with us, they will feel hurt and uncomfortable.

Facing any person, event, or state, you need to immediately come to a conclusion: what is right and what is wrong, otherwise you will have no sense of value and security.Our beliefs, ideals, and values ​​are often used to strengthen ourselves and exclude others. If you don’t believe it, just look at the parties in quarrels, conflicts, and wars. No one does not think that they are justified.

Self-righteousness sometimes manifests as low self-esteem in daily life.What is it but self-righteousness to insist that you are worthless and not change this view under any circumstances?Inferiority, like arrogance, obscures our present, prevents us from knowing ourselves clearly, and also hinders our communication with the outside world.Because of the lack of communication, we feel alone and isolated.

"Thinking we're the only ones" can amplify our feelings.Take an exam for example, if half the people pass and you are one of them, you will be happy, but if you are the only one who passes, you are not only happy, but ecstatic; similarly, if half the people are eliminated , and you are one of them, you will be very depressed, but if you are the only one who is eliminated, you will not only be depressed, but you will feel that you are the most wronged and unfortunate person in the world.When you're emotionally low and isolated and closed off, it's easy to think you're more miserable and unhappy than everyone else.In fact, your situation is definitely better than you think.

Nowadays, many people commit suicide because they cannot bear the pain. Every time I hear such news, I feel extremely sad.What a great unknown death is to them, and the greater the unknown, the greater the fear.In the process of death, the four elements are separated, and the pain is beyond the imagination of the living.Despite this, they still chose to die, which shows that the pain they felt during their lifetime was indeed unbearable.

We mentioned earlier that pain is not the experience of one or two people, but the experience of all beings, so don't believe that there is a guy called "fate" who is specifically against you and deliberately wants to destroy you.Your feelings are just common feelings of all beings, so you are not abandoned.If you can relax, simply feel the pain, and let go of worry, pity, and judgment about yourself, and no longer just circle around in the circle of "I am right, I am wrong, I can do what I can, but I can't", and go to communicate with the outside world. Communicate, and be willing to appreciate the flowers and grass and the morning breeze. The pain may still be strong, but it will no longer suffocate you and make you desperate to the point of nowhere, because your heart is open at this time.

Some people may think that letting go of this and that is easy to say, but in practice, the feelings of grievance, helplessness, remorse, guilt, fear, and frustration are so strong and real.

If this is the case, there is no need to rush to let go of anything, and don't embarrass yourself anymore, you are already very unhappy.There are so many troubles, sorrows and pains to keep in your heart, what a big heart you need!Then give yourself 1 minute, close your eyes, and imagine your heart slowly expanding.It is very soft and elastic, and slowly, it embraces this scarred self into its tenderness.It expands to the entire room, the yard outside, the street, pedestrians, bridges, cities, rivers and seas, mountains, the sky, the sun, the moon, and the stars... Focus on the sense of openness that can be extended infinitely.When you open your eyes again, you will feel better.

We refuse to communicate with others, usually because we feel that those people will not understand us.What we reject from others is actually a reflection of what we reject from ourselves.If you feel that others will not understand you, it means that you do not want to understand others at all.If you hate being poor, it means you are afraid of being poor.If you reject other people's shallowness, narrowness, and indifference, it means that you don't want to face these things in yourself.Therefore, we can only accept ourselves if we do not exclude others.

Some practitioners deliberately get along with difficult people in order to train this openness.Before the Venerable Atisha from India came to Tibet, he worried that the Tibetans were too kind and gentle, and he could not find an object to cultivate his mind, so he deliberately brought a waiter with a grumpy temper who always liked to find fault with him.

Although we all take ourselves seriously and want to be good to ourselves, the embarrassing thing is that habit makes us look like fools, and everything we do is to make ourselves more confused and more painful.Start changing these habits now. This is renunciation.

For example, the next time you encounter a traffic jam, see what your habitual reaction will be: panic?Grumbling?Nervously looking at your watch?Pull out your phone and start complaining to your friends?Criticize the car in front, the driver in front, the police on the road, the traffic lights that are out of order?Or turn on the radio, turntable, and distract yourself even more?Just look at yourself without judging or trying to correct.Instead of being overwhelmed by emotions immediately when encountering a situation, but looking at your own reaction, this is change.The next time you are stuck in traffic, see how you complain, look at your watch, make phone calls, and toss about non-stop.The third time, the fourth time, and after encountering a traffic jam, you still observe your own reaction in this way, and finally one day you will feel that you are ridiculous: complaining, looking at the watch, making a phone call, tossing, why is it the same every time, can’t be a little creative ?So, the next time you encounter the same situation, you will do something different: really listen to what the people are talking about on the radio, enjoy a song, feel the anxiety of the driver next to you, and think about what is wrong with the traffic jam. Arrangements need to be adjusted... In short, you are no longer competing with yourself.

Reincarnation is a kind of inertia, constantly changing habits can make that huge inertia stop slowly.

Traditionally, we have interpreted renunciation as the mind that is disgusted with the pain of samsara and pursues liberation and happiness.Suffering comes from attachment, so what we actually want to stay away from is attachment.And what is attachment?Anything can be an attachment.This makes renunciation something that has to be done with undivided attention and diligence, because everything is a trap everywhere and every moment.

A practitioner once went to visit his master Jiangyang Khyentse Wangpo. On the way, he gave away all his belongings, leaving only a wooden bowl, which was his favorite.When he came to the master's residence, seeing the splendor and splendor in his eyes, he couldn't help thinking: "Don't people say that Chadrak (who has nothing) Jiangyang Khyentse Wangpo? How can he live in such a luxurious palace?" At this time, Jiangyang Khyentse Wangpo pointed out Looking at him, he laughed and cursed: "You thinkers, my attachment to this room full of gold, silver and jewels is far less than your attachment to that wooden bowl!" After speaking, he snatched his wooden bowl and smashed it away.

Renren is like this, don't look at the appearance, only look at the heart.

Chiarombo
The Dakini Festival on August 25 in the Tibetan calendar
Nov. 2008, 10

Disciples finishing
(End of this chapter)