Chapter 198
Green smoke curled up from the depths of the Buddhist hall, and the faint fragrance of Buddhist smoke was particularly clear in the dark night. When you got closer, you could faintly hear the sound of beating wooden fish.
Lin Yisheng pulled back the coat he was wearing, took a deep breath, and finally stepped in decisively.
"Sixth Young Master." The cleaning master of the Buddhist hall saw him coming, and nodded respectfully.
Lin Yisheng didn't respond, and walked into the depths of the Buddhist hall without squinting. The sound of beating the wooden fish became more and more clear.
In the center of the main hall where the Buddha's golden body is enshrined, there is a person kneeling, with her back facing Lin Yisheng and facing the Buddha, beating the wooden fish dullly like a machine.
Lin Yisheng stepped forward and stood beside her, looking up at the smiling Buddha with an indifferent expression on his face.
"Dong dong dong" the sound of the wooden fish beating echoed throughout the main hall, and the green incense lit in front of the Buddha was filled with smoke.
"What are you doing here?" Xia Nan, who was kneeling on the futon, finally opened her mouth, but asked indifferently. Her eyes were staring blankly ahead, which had long since lost light. Her forehead was still wrapped in white gauze, and her forehead was dyed bright red. blood.
Hearing this, Lin Yisheng lowered his eyes slightly, and the regular movement of beating the wooden fish was reflected in his eyes, without any warmth, just like his heart at the moment.
"You probably hope that I can bump my head to death in the cemetery." Xia Nan said again, her words were full of self-deprecating, "I died, and I didn't know your secret. As the head of the Lin family, you will not ridiculed for being a despicable mother."
"Despicable?" Lin Yisheng murmured and repeated, "Is this how you despise yourself?"
Xia Nan didn't say a word, but focused on beating the wooden fish.
The other end failed to kill her, but was imprisoned here, facing the ancient Buddha's blue lamp all day long, and died of old age, but she was not Lin Jinqian, how could she calm down and be with the Buddha?
She, Xia Nan, never believed in gods, Buddhas and ghosts. If there are such things in this world, why don't those who pay get rewarded?Kind people are always at the bottom of being oppressed?
Now Ken stays here swallowing his anger, accepts instructions, follows the arrangement, and beats the wooden fish, but it is because her wish has not been fully realized.
Although the son she supported wholeheartedly sat on the position of head of the family, her foundation was still shallow. She had to compromise, step back, and follow the requirements of the family clan, so as to reduce obstacles and resistance for his future path.
No, not for him, Xia Nan said to herself over and over again, she did it for that unwilling heart, for her son who had been waiting for her for 28 years, even if it was just a shell, she did not want to see him persecuted .
Unable to hear her response, Lin Yisheng slowly squatted down, and suddenly grabbed her hand, and the wooden fish stopped beating.
"Don't tell me that you just accept your fate like this and would rather stay here and die alone?"
Xia Nan looked straight ahead, her eyes dull, but she smiled miserably, "Then what do you want me to do? Is it to be expelled from the Lin family, or to use my last breath to help you bring down Lin Jinqian so that you can be with me?" Murray reconciled?"
"I just want to know, have you lost your fighting spirit?" Lin Yisheng said in a low but stiff tone.
Xia Nan sneered coldly, and asked back: "Fighting spirit? At this moment, I am trapped here, so what can I do if my fighting spirit is high? Is it not enough to bring you into this world and fight for you?"
"Not enough!" Lin Yisheng replied resolutely, took the wooden fish from her hand, and put it aside, "Since you brought me into this world, you should do all your responsibilities!"
"Do I have to exhaust my last breath to fulfill all my responsibilities?" Xia Nan roared angrily, tears welled up in her empty eyes, and she cried hoarsely, "I brought you here From the world! But I didn’t bring you! Why you came to this world, you know better than anyone else!”
Lin Yisheng seemed to be shocked, his cold eyes fixed on Xia Nan's crying eyes without blinking, like a fishbone stuck in his throat, he couldn't say a word.
Why did he come to this world?
Because of helplessness, despair, anger, grief, hatred... because of all these dark things, he came to this world, helpless, did not know anyone, let alone get along with anyone sincerely, until he met A Li.
But now, A Li no longer belongs to him, she is standing in front of him, she is face to face with him, she can even meet her eyes, but she can no longer see his reflection in her eyes.
He was so helpless again, just like the raging fire 25 years ago, he watched the most beautiful aunt trapped in the sea of fire, struggling and shouting constantly.
Her figure was shaking at the window, she ran around helplessly, she asked for help outside, but unfortunately no one responded...
Obviously, everyone was there, and they had already prepared to evacuate, but they deliberately wanted to throw her into the fire, and let her be burned little by little like a beautiful curtain hanging on the window.
The little him stood downstairs, watching the help-seeking figure by the window fall down little by little until it disappeared. He held his mother's hand tightly and begged her to call for help, but the mother said——
Xiao Sheng is good, that aunt did something wrong, this is the punishment she deserves.
——I also did something wrong, you all forgive me, what did my aunt do wrong, why should she be punished like this?
Mother didn't answer, but held his hand even harder, preventing him from breaking free, preventing him from rushing into the fire.
—Mom, go and help Auntie!When brother Jinqian comes back, if he can't find his mother, he will cry!
——Xiao Sheng, remember, there is a price to pay for doing something wrong, and no one will help a person who has made a mistake.
--Do not!I want to help!I want to help!
Dahuo is a monster with teeth and claws. He stretched out his claws to hug him. He seemed to be summoned. With some strength, he got rid of his mother's restraint, and rushed towards the fire with all his strength.
——Xiao Sheng!
The mother behind her screamed heart-piercingly, but the cry was only for a short moment, and then it was gone.
She seemed to be stopped by someone, unable to keep up with his pace, so even the shouts became farther and farther away, smaller and smaller, almost inaudible.
Something hit him hard on the head, and he lost his strength before he could run into the arms of the fire.
In the twilight, he was walking in a vast white space like a cloud, with nothing around him, but fire was shining in front of him.
He walked forward quickly, and finally, the light of the fire shone on his face, and the cloud-like mist under his feet suddenly dissipated, and he fell from a high altitude and fell into the icy water.
The rushing water carried him around and pushed him into a narrow passage.
In the tunnel, there were people communicating, yelling at everyone angrily in a ruthless and indisputable tone, even if someone spoke up, it would be against their conscience to agree.
Oh, he heard it, it was reprimanding him, reprimanding him for not obeying the rules, and decided to throw him into a confinement room for imprisonment!
That was his grandfather, and he was also the one who ordered the most beautiful aunt to be punished with fire, and no one was allowed to rescue her!
Because he was disobedient, his grandfather ignored his mother's pleas and threw his comatose body into the confinement room. It was pitch black, gloomy and cold there. He curled up helplessly with his small body, but his mind was abnormally clear.
All smiling faces are hypocrisy. Behind the masks are the ugliest faces. Cruel, cruel, ruthless, unrighteous... are their truest appearances.
Without being disturbed by anyone, he spent almost two days and two nights with that comatose body in the dark.
He said to the body—
Although you are still young, you are really useless. You can't even do what you want to do, and you are thrown here to suffer and be punished. You are such a coward, don't show up again from now on, just let me go Do things you want to do but can't.
……
The long silence symbolized being speechless, Xia Nan scoffed lightly, and said with a bit of disdain: "Don't think I don't know anything, I begged for two days and two nights before I begged you from the confinement room." Come out, I am the mother who gave birth to you and raised you, how could I not notice your changes?"
"But that's also because of you!" Lin Yisheng bit back unexpectedly, "If it wasn't for your stop, I wouldn't have been living in pain! It was you—you called those so-called famous medical experts to force me to forget those things. A fact that cannot be forgotten at all!"
"What's the good of keeping those things in mind? I didn't want you to live in pain by doing that!"
"But that's why I live in pain! For so many years, I have never been liberated!" Lin Yisheng stood up with a low growl, looked down at Xia Nan from a high position, his forehead was dripping with sweat, "Your Cowardly and incompetent son, he didn't dare to face it, so he forcibly threw all the painful memories to me and let me bear them!
"And what about you? In order to realize your grand plan, every time I am about to appear and be released, let those bastard doctors guide him to lock me in a dark confinement room and cannot get out!
"Do you know how much I hate you? Since you asked those people in white coats to lock me into a confinement room, and since you have encouraged my father to compete with my uncle in order to compete for the heir's seat, but my father refused, you Just curse at him and knock him out!
"Since then, I have hated you! I hate your selfishness, your greed, your timidity, and your desire to control everything regardless of the lives of others!"
Xia Nan let Lin Yisheng scold him in a daze, she had lost all feeling in her knees kneeling on the futon, she still kept her back straight, the smoke was lingering, and she scolded loudly.
She blinked, and still stubbornly said to herself, she is right, it is her husband who does not seek to make progress, prefers to take the back seat, and does not think about his son. Her cursing is to stimulate him, but he cannot bear the encouragement, so he just Cause blood blockage, fall to the root of the disease.
"What can you do if you hate me, and what can you do if you don't hate me? In this life, the fate you can't escape is that you are destined to be my son."
"Yes! I'm your son!" Lin Yisheng admitted Luoluo. After taking a deep breath, he squatted down and said in a slow tone, "Your protection for me in the cemetery made me decide to recognize you as a mother no matter what. .As a mother, I think you should continue to guard your children, don't you?"
(End of this chapter)
Green smoke curled up from the depths of the Buddhist hall, and the faint fragrance of Buddhist smoke was particularly clear in the dark night. When you got closer, you could faintly hear the sound of beating wooden fish.
Lin Yisheng pulled back the coat he was wearing, took a deep breath, and finally stepped in decisively.
"Sixth Young Master." The cleaning master of the Buddhist hall saw him coming, and nodded respectfully.
Lin Yisheng didn't respond, and walked into the depths of the Buddhist hall without squinting. The sound of beating the wooden fish became more and more clear.
In the center of the main hall where the Buddha's golden body is enshrined, there is a person kneeling, with her back facing Lin Yisheng and facing the Buddha, beating the wooden fish dullly like a machine.
Lin Yisheng stepped forward and stood beside her, looking up at the smiling Buddha with an indifferent expression on his face.
"Dong dong dong" the sound of the wooden fish beating echoed throughout the main hall, and the green incense lit in front of the Buddha was filled with smoke.
"What are you doing here?" Xia Nan, who was kneeling on the futon, finally opened her mouth, but asked indifferently. Her eyes were staring blankly ahead, which had long since lost light. Her forehead was still wrapped in white gauze, and her forehead was dyed bright red. blood.
Hearing this, Lin Yisheng lowered his eyes slightly, and the regular movement of beating the wooden fish was reflected in his eyes, without any warmth, just like his heart at the moment.
"You probably hope that I can bump my head to death in the cemetery." Xia Nan said again, her words were full of self-deprecating, "I died, and I didn't know your secret. As the head of the Lin family, you will not ridiculed for being a despicable mother."
"Despicable?" Lin Yisheng murmured and repeated, "Is this how you despise yourself?"
Xia Nan didn't say a word, but focused on beating the wooden fish.
The other end failed to kill her, but was imprisoned here, facing the ancient Buddha's blue lamp all day long, and died of old age, but she was not Lin Jinqian, how could she calm down and be with the Buddha?
She, Xia Nan, never believed in gods, Buddhas and ghosts. If there are such things in this world, why don't those who pay get rewarded?Kind people are always at the bottom of being oppressed?
Now Ken stays here swallowing his anger, accepts instructions, follows the arrangement, and beats the wooden fish, but it is because her wish has not been fully realized.
Although the son she supported wholeheartedly sat on the position of head of the family, her foundation was still shallow. She had to compromise, step back, and follow the requirements of the family clan, so as to reduce obstacles and resistance for his future path.
No, not for him, Xia Nan said to herself over and over again, she did it for that unwilling heart, for her son who had been waiting for her for 28 years, even if it was just a shell, she did not want to see him persecuted .
Unable to hear her response, Lin Yisheng slowly squatted down, and suddenly grabbed her hand, and the wooden fish stopped beating.
"Don't tell me that you just accept your fate like this and would rather stay here and die alone?"
Xia Nan looked straight ahead, her eyes dull, but she smiled miserably, "Then what do you want me to do? Is it to be expelled from the Lin family, or to use my last breath to help you bring down Lin Jinqian so that you can be with me?" Murray reconciled?"
"I just want to know, have you lost your fighting spirit?" Lin Yisheng said in a low but stiff tone.
Xia Nan sneered coldly, and asked back: "Fighting spirit? At this moment, I am trapped here, so what can I do if my fighting spirit is high? Is it not enough to bring you into this world and fight for you?"
"Not enough!" Lin Yisheng replied resolutely, took the wooden fish from her hand, and put it aside, "Since you brought me into this world, you should do all your responsibilities!"
"Do I have to exhaust my last breath to fulfill all my responsibilities?" Xia Nan roared angrily, tears welled up in her empty eyes, and she cried hoarsely, "I brought you here From the world! But I didn’t bring you! Why you came to this world, you know better than anyone else!”
Lin Yisheng seemed to be shocked, his cold eyes fixed on Xia Nan's crying eyes without blinking, like a fishbone stuck in his throat, he couldn't say a word.
Why did he come to this world?
Because of helplessness, despair, anger, grief, hatred... because of all these dark things, he came to this world, helpless, did not know anyone, let alone get along with anyone sincerely, until he met A Li.
But now, A Li no longer belongs to him, she is standing in front of him, she is face to face with him, she can even meet her eyes, but she can no longer see his reflection in her eyes.
He was so helpless again, just like the raging fire 25 years ago, he watched the most beautiful aunt trapped in the sea of fire, struggling and shouting constantly.
Her figure was shaking at the window, she ran around helplessly, she asked for help outside, but unfortunately no one responded...
Obviously, everyone was there, and they had already prepared to evacuate, but they deliberately wanted to throw her into the fire, and let her be burned little by little like a beautiful curtain hanging on the window.
The little him stood downstairs, watching the help-seeking figure by the window fall down little by little until it disappeared. He held his mother's hand tightly and begged her to call for help, but the mother said——
Xiao Sheng is good, that aunt did something wrong, this is the punishment she deserves.
——I also did something wrong, you all forgive me, what did my aunt do wrong, why should she be punished like this?
Mother didn't answer, but held his hand even harder, preventing him from breaking free, preventing him from rushing into the fire.
—Mom, go and help Auntie!When brother Jinqian comes back, if he can't find his mother, he will cry!
——Xiao Sheng, remember, there is a price to pay for doing something wrong, and no one will help a person who has made a mistake.
--Do not!I want to help!I want to help!
Dahuo is a monster with teeth and claws. He stretched out his claws to hug him. He seemed to be summoned. With some strength, he got rid of his mother's restraint, and rushed towards the fire with all his strength.
——Xiao Sheng!
The mother behind her screamed heart-piercingly, but the cry was only for a short moment, and then it was gone.
She seemed to be stopped by someone, unable to keep up with his pace, so even the shouts became farther and farther away, smaller and smaller, almost inaudible.
Something hit him hard on the head, and he lost his strength before he could run into the arms of the fire.
In the twilight, he was walking in a vast white space like a cloud, with nothing around him, but fire was shining in front of him.
He walked forward quickly, and finally, the light of the fire shone on his face, and the cloud-like mist under his feet suddenly dissipated, and he fell from a high altitude and fell into the icy water.
The rushing water carried him around and pushed him into a narrow passage.
In the tunnel, there were people communicating, yelling at everyone angrily in a ruthless and indisputable tone, even if someone spoke up, it would be against their conscience to agree.
Oh, he heard it, it was reprimanding him, reprimanding him for not obeying the rules, and decided to throw him into a confinement room for imprisonment!
That was his grandfather, and he was also the one who ordered the most beautiful aunt to be punished with fire, and no one was allowed to rescue her!
Because he was disobedient, his grandfather ignored his mother's pleas and threw his comatose body into the confinement room. It was pitch black, gloomy and cold there. He curled up helplessly with his small body, but his mind was abnormally clear.
All smiling faces are hypocrisy. Behind the masks are the ugliest faces. Cruel, cruel, ruthless, unrighteous... are their truest appearances.
Without being disturbed by anyone, he spent almost two days and two nights with that comatose body in the dark.
He said to the body—
Although you are still young, you are really useless. You can't even do what you want to do, and you are thrown here to suffer and be punished. You are such a coward, don't show up again from now on, just let me go Do things you want to do but can't.
……
The long silence symbolized being speechless, Xia Nan scoffed lightly, and said with a bit of disdain: "Don't think I don't know anything, I begged for two days and two nights before I begged you from the confinement room." Come out, I am the mother who gave birth to you and raised you, how could I not notice your changes?"
"But that's also because of you!" Lin Yisheng bit back unexpectedly, "If it wasn't for your stop, I wouldn't have been living in pain! It was you—you called those so-called famous medical experts to force me to forget those things. A fact that cannot be forgotten at all!"
"What's the good of keeping those things in mind? I didn't want you to live in pain by doing that!"
"But that's why I live in pain! For so many years, I have never been liberated!" Lin Yisheng stood up with a low growl, looked down at Xia Nan from a high position, his forehead was dripping with sweat, "Your Cowardly and incompetent son, he didn't dare to face it, so he forcibly threw all the painful memories to me and let me bear them!
"And what about you? In order to realize your grand plan, every time I am about to appear and be released, let those bastard doctors guide him to lock me in a dark confinement room and cannot get out!
"Do you know how much I hate you? Since you asked those people in white coats to lock me into a confinement room, and since you have encouraged my father to compete with my uncle in order to compete for the heir's seat, but my father refused, you Just curse at him and knock him out!
"Since then, I have hated you! I hate your selfishness, your greed, your timidity, and your desire to control everything regardless of the lives of others!"
Xia Nan let Lin Yisheng scold him in a daze, she had lost all feeling in her knees kneeling on the futon, she still kept her back straight, the smoke was lingering, and she scolded loudly.
She blinked, and still stubbornly said to herself, she is right, it is her husband who does not seek to make progress, prefers to take the back seat, and does not think about his son. Her cursing is to stimulate him, but he cannot bear the encouragement, so he just Cause blood blockage, fall to the root of the disease.
"What can you do if you hate me, and what can you do if you don't hate me? In this life, the fate you can't escape is that you are destined to be my son."
"Yes! I'm your son!" Lin Yisheng admitted Luoluo. After taking a deep breath, he squatted down and said in a slow tone, "Your protection for me in the cemetery made me decide to recognize you as a mother no matter what. .As a mother, I think you should continue to guard your children, don't you?"
(End of this chapter)
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