rebirth, romance, space

Chapter 45

grandfather:

Grandpa, I can't accept that I talked on the phone a few days ago, but I received a call from my mother early this morning saying that you have gone.

Surprisingly, unexpectedly, there was no crying sound, but tears welled up silently.The mother on the other side of the phone cried hoarsely.Please forgive the desolation that arises in my heart.

When I was a child, you broke into the door and pulled me out of my mother's stick.just what to do?I can't remember what your face, mother's face, my face was like back then.

I blame you, I admit, but it's more desolation.You are a very sensible old man, and you must have seen through how perfunctory I am on the phone from time to time, telling you lies about living a good life outside like coaxing a child.

But now I think about it, if my parents could treat their children like you, would I not be in this situation?But I think if I follow them like a younger brother, I will still feel left out.Because they have never experienced my childhood, and they have not noticed my loneliness and stubbornness in my childhood, from longing to disappointment, and gradually evolved into leaving a person to live.Among them, I have been terrified, resented, and at a loss.

you understand me right?My first menstrual cramps were accompanied by you and grandma, and it was you and grandma who found diet therapy for me when I was blue from pain, and you were the signature of my parents when I entered junior high school, and you were the daily necessities I lived in.But what I saw was that you, grandma, and mom and dad treated my younger brother better.I don't know how to get along with you, so I always exaggerate and cheerfully say things that I find interesting in front of you.

You and grandma participated in my entire childhood, but I always thought that there was still more time, and I made an appointment with you to see you in July.I regret it now, why didn't I go back to stay by your side, talking and chatting with you like before, and being scolded by you for being ignorant.It turns out that if you blame another person, after death, everything will be gone.

Grandpa, grandpa...I want to be like before, calling after you. Even though life was hard and difficult when I was a child, you and grandma are still there.When I was young, when it was so hot like now, you would tell my brother and me simple but magical stories.I shouldn't doubt it, it's just a story, what matters is you and the hearts you teach us.But at that time, I was always too impatient, trying to get your approval, always interrupting your words again and again.

Grandpa, Grandpa, I'm sorry, my unfilial granddaughter has been refusing to face her true self.If possible, I'd rather be me than you.

(End of this chapter)