Funny: The Hilarious Life of a Wasted Taoist 2

Chapter 12
"That's why I don't like you female fairy." Li Botong patted his butt and stood up and walked towards the dice, saying as he walked, "Horsepower, let me give you two pieces of advice. First, you are No.60 I calculated. A savior, although the previous people have failed, but I think you can do it."

What he said was a huge blow to my morale.

Li Botong said again, "Secondly, no matter how useless a person is, he has his strengths. Do you know your strengths?" After finishing speaking, he rolled the dice.

my strengths?I bow my head.

"All five souls are here." The gambler put away the dice and said with a smile, "Let's compete tomorrow for the last match."

After speaking, he walked towards the door.

"Horsepower." Sanniang looked at me from behind, "What do you think?"

Now everyone around me has come out one by one, just like the finale.

I knelt down weakly and watched the gambler go out. After Wu Xiang's body was pulled out by the gambler, a big hole was opened in the door, and the wind blew in.

Now the door has to be repaired again.

Sanniang asked again: "Brother Ma, do you know what that smelly Taoist said?"

I lowered my head and pondered for a moment, and suddenly my mind lit up. Since Li Botong said that I was the savior, if I really were, what would be wrong? Wouldn’t the earth be destroyed?

I can't think of anything by myself, but I can ask others to help me think about it. My death is a loss to people all over the world.

So I immediately went back to the house, opened the Haijiao forum I go to the most, and posted a post titled 'If you don't want the world to perish, come and see it! ! 'The content is:'I gambled with a demon cultivated from a ghost. If I lose the bet, my soul will be sucked away. I am the savior. If I die, the world will perish. What should I do? ’ Then he wrote down the rules of gambling and asked, ‘How can I win the bet? '

After waiting for half an hour, I ran to read the replies.

The Cape forum reply is as follows:
1L: Your condition is very serious, don't think about gambling, you should go to the hospital quickly LZ.

2L: When I saw LZ's post, I couldn't help being shocked, and a sense of IQ superiority emerged spontaneously.

3L: stroking the 3L dog's head, smiling without saying a word.

4L: Wife, come out to see LZ.

5L: Onlookers watch the 3L tragedy emperor.

6L: Landlord, your mother told you to go home and take medicine.

7L: Onlookers +1.

8L: Watch 3L with the upstairs.

9L: You are all bad guys Smecta, bullying LZ Smecta, the earth is very dangerous, let’s go back to Mars together, Smecta.

10L: LZ you know too much

you know too much

Know too much
talk too much

too much
Too much

too much
了

11L: Hello, we are a large-scale producer of Tieguanyin, a specialty product in southern Fujian. The purpose of online sales of Tieguanyin is to reduce the circulation of Tieguanyin and ensure the original flavor/orthodoxy of Tieguanyin to the greatest extent. Tieguanyin is a precious natural Beverages have good beauty and health care functions.If you can take out the purest Tieguanyin and share it with your relatives and friends, wouldn't that better reflect your enthusiasm and dignity?

12L: The landlord is dead, and the paper is burnt for something.

13L: Landlord, the glorious and arduous task of maintaining world peace is entrusted to you.

14L: Brother Guanyin appeared, this post is going to be popular! !
15L: I admire a savior like LZ the most, I seek friendship and fit! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
16L: I see countless posts every day, and basically don’t reply. Later, I found out that this is stupid. Many people who registered later than me had more points than me, so I saved this text in Notepad, and every time I read a post Just copy and paste once. Help LZ put the post on top.Earn points by the way. 'So I copied his words into my notepad, and copied and pasted every post I read. Help LZ put the post on the top.Earn points by the way. "So I also copied this passage of his into my notepad, and copied and pasted every time I read the post. Help LZ put the post on the top. By the way, I also earn points.

17L: Lanzhou biscuits, no explanation.

18L: LZ is gone!
18L: The landlord has leaked the secrets of the universe and has been hunted across provinces.

19L: Hey, I laughed so hard, the upstairs is too rapeseed.

20L: The tiger's body was shaken, and he left with a three-pointer
21L: There is Nala in the small advertisement, this ID is blocked. —— Bamboo A
……

The last floor reads: LZ, do you know what mistakes you made?Your post should be on nonsense, not gossip.

I looked at that post, and silently made a resolution - if I can survive, I will learn computer in the future, and then hack Haijiao!

Then I turned off the computer and went to repair the door panel. Nan Chen guided me for a while and went to sleep in my room.

I nailed the nails to the door one by one, and Sanniang came to me: "Brother Ma, have you thought of a way to win?"

I sighed, and looked back at my small second floor, past experiences flashed before my eyes one by one, the female head incident, the pen fairy incident, the hanged ghost...

Hanged ghost?Suddenly, a flash of inspiration flashed in my mind, and I remembered the spell Sanniang cast when Wang Liang came to the small second floor, and asked quickly: "Sanniang, your ability is illusion, isn't it?"

San Niang froze for a moment, then nodded.

I thought about it carefully again, and my heart was extremely excited, I patted the door, stood up and said to San Niang: "I have a solution!"

When the sun rose, Sanniang and I stood at the door of the small second floor.

The wind in the early morning was very cold, but Sanniang and I didn't complain. We stood at the door like a stone statue, looking into the distance, waiting for the opponent's arrival.

Finally, the gambler came from afar.

He was dressed very formally today, wearing a suit, a black overcoat, and a pair of sunglasses. When he walked, the overcoat was fluttering in the wind, full of momentum, quite like the demeanor of Xiao Zhou's gambling god back then.

Sanniang and I looked at each other. It seems that he is determined to win today and is ready to win.

Gamblers get closer and closer, and closer.

He tripped and fell on the mound.

The gambler got up, patted the dirt on his body as if nothing had happened, and continued to walk in style.

He fell again.

The gambler got up, shook his coat, walked up to me, and shook hands with me: "Hehehehe, today is the last game, you can continue to struggle to the death."

I shook his hand and said, "If you're not used to wearing sunglasses, don't wear them. Look at this fall. What if he fell to his death before gambling?"

The gambler said: "Hehehehehe, you can be happy now."

I stretched out my hand towards the small second floor: "Come in."

The gambler glanced at the door: "You got a new door, why is there no handle?"

I said, "Didn't I lose the doorknob to you? Just push it..."

The gambler reached out to push the door, and I waited for him to finish pushing and continued: "But you have to be careful, the paint on my door is not dry yet."

The gambler looked at the paint on his hands, his face turned green and then pale, which made me very refreshed.

"What's the bet?" the gambler asked.

"Wait a minute, let's repeat the rules again." Sanniang said, "First, we can use spells, but if we use magic tricks and you find out that we lose. Second, it takes hundreds or thousands of years to see it." The resulting gamble is not valid, and there is a time limit for the gamble, and the maximum time shall not exceed 24 hours. Third, you are willing to gamble and admit defeat. No matter what you bet on, as long as you lose, you have to pay the bet and you cannot go back. These are the three, right? ?”

The gambler nodded: "Yes."

I said: "These three rules are aimed at the time when the game is in progress. After the game is over, the winner is already divided. Are these rules useless?"

"That's natural," said the gambler.

Sanniang and I looked at each other, recalling what we said last night...

"Have you noticed?" I repeated the rules, "There is a loophole in one of his rules!"

Sanniang thought for a while and asked, "Which one?"

I said: "The first one, he said that if he finds out that we cheated with magic, we still count as a loser. In other words, if he can't see that we cheated with magic, then we don't count as a loser."

Sanniang said: "Brother Ma, you can think of this level unexpectedly."

Of course, this didn’t bother me. During the city’s rectification period, a large line of characters was painted on the outside of the community where I often posted small advertisements——Small advertisements are not allowed in the community.

I looked at the word for a long time, and finally realized that if I can’t paste it inside, I can paste it outside, and then I pasted all the small advertisements on the outer wall of the community. The wife thought that the newspaper reading column had been changed to the wall, and she stretched her head out to read it early in the morning.

"Okay," the gambler asked, "what are you going to bet on?"

"The old cards and poker games are boring." I said, "Let's play something new?"

"Fresh ones?" The gambler was taken aback, "How do you say it?"

I said: "Sanniang and I hid the little ghost, and you know he can't leave this small second floor, so no matter how we hide him, he's still in this room. We'll bet on whether you can find him within the time limit." come out."

The gambler sneered and said, "This bet? At the beginning, I couldn't find a sure win because of the enchantment on the second floor. Now that I know he is in this building, wouldn't it be very easy to find him? Within 10 minutes, I will definitely find him."

"Okay! Then 10 minutes!" I turned to Nan Chen and said, "Start the timer!"

"10 minutes?" The gambler laughed. "I don't need 10 minutes. I have a contract with Must Win, and I can find him right away."

After that, he looked around, looked around twice, and let out a strange 'huh'.

"Aren't you stupid?" I said, "If you want to find the kid by contractual relationship, the kid has to be conscious. In order to resist your order, the top gambling kid almost lost his soul. Now his soul has long lost consciousness. You feel Not to him."

Nan Chen looked at his watch and said, "There are still nine minutes and 50 seconds left."

The gambler glanced at us, and immediately rushed into each room to look for it. I wanted to follow in, but Sanniang stopped me, holding the jade plate and saying, "Let's look from here."

The gambler first walked to the door of the storage room, opened the door and glanced inside, then walked away immediately, ran to the kitchen for a while, and then came to Sanniang's door, did not enter the door, but stood at the door and turned around. He looked around the room quickly.

"No wonder he can win every bet. He has become a demon through cultivation. His observation skills are amazing and he can observe subtle places." Sanniang said, "Look, brother Ma, he only needs a short period of observation to be able to See if there is anything unnatural in the room."

That's why he made such a rule. His hearing, eyesight and observation ability are all physical bonuses, even if they are not strengthened by magic, they are far superior to ours.

He walked quickly, and after a while, he had already seen most of the rooms on the first floor. I turned my head and asked Xiang Nanchen, "How long has it been?"

Nan Chen replied, "47 seconds."

At this time, the gambler had already walked to the door of my room, and he was still standing at the door looking around. Then he was stunned for a moment, lifted my bed board, and saw the inventory under my bed.

At this time, the gambler showed the caution that a man should have. He must be afraid that I would hide the kid under this mountain of discs, so he carefully browsed through my private collection of discs.

The gambler was delayed for 3 minutes and 32 seconds here, and was mortally wounded - he started bleeding from the nose as he walked out the door of my house.

"I said." Nan Chenguang saw the gambler turning around under the bed with us behind his back, stretched his head for a long time and didn't see anything, and asked me, "What's under your bed?"

I seriously answered the question raised by the police comrade: "It was a trap to delay his time."

"Oh." Sanniang smiled coquettishly, "Brother Ma, you are really amazing."

I don't know if she saw it or not, so I waved my hand embarrassingly: "It's so-so."

At this point the gambler had already gone upstairs.

I thought that since he had been waiting so long to see my inventory in my room, he would definitely stay for a long time when he went upstairs to see the inventory behind the bookcase of Mr. Ma Jianmin, the great-grandson of my grandfather's second uncle's uncle.

Sure enough, the gambler entered the study and immediately noticed the bookcase.He walked quickly to the bookcase, pushed the bookcase away, and saw the books hidden behind the bookcase.

The gambler picked up a Playboy magazine, flipped through it, then chuckled, tossed the magazine aside, and went out.

No time wasted!

Only then did I realize that the order was wrong. As the saying goes, the waves behind the Yangtze River drive the waves ahead. One generation is better than the next. My collection must be better than my distant relatives and old men. A plate of goulash with potatoes, he must have looked down on it.

"How much time is left?" I asked.

Nan Chen looked at his watch and said, "5 minutes have just passed."

I asked Xiang Sanniang: "Can your illusion last for 5 minutes?"

Sanniang smiled sweetly: "I will try my best."

At this time, the gambler just walked into the room of the hanged ghost.

As soon as the gambler walked into the door of the haunted house, a child immediately called out: "Daddy!"

I saw two female ghosts, one big and one small, dressed in ancient costumes standing inside the room. The older female ghost was only in her early twenties, and the younger one was only five or six years old.

I asked San Niang: "Who is this?"

Sanniang said: "Illusions come from the heart. These two people are phantoms created by the gambler himself. It seems that they should be his wife and daughter."

Unexpectedly, this gambler is also a family man.

The gambler was stunned, glanced at the second ghost, and asked, "Why are you here?"

The young female ghost said: "The owner of the small second floor has a very good personal relationship with Hades. He said that we have never met since you sold us for gambling, so he took us from the underworld to tell you."

"Hehehehe." The gambler sneered, "It turns out that you are also risking your life to make a bet."

I watched the gambler in the jade plate furious, how many excellent young men in this world could not marry a wife, and this guy even sold his wife and daughter.

The young female ghost said: "One day, a couple is a hundred days, it's fine if you don't recognize me as a poor wife." She supported the little female ghost's shoulder and said, "At least you have to recognize your own daughter, you betray us. After she died, she still misses you all the time, and looks forward to your coming back to pick her up."

The gambler said: "A girl can't carry on the family line, why should I take her back." After finishing speaking, he glanced at the room, turned and walked out.

The little ghost grabbed the gambler's leg and shouted, "Dad...Dad..."

The gambler didn't even look at it, kicked it away and went out the door.Now it's not just me, even Sanniang's face is full of anger,

The figures of the two female ghosts, one big and one small, disappeared.

I asked Nan Chen, "How long has it been?"

Nan Chen said, "Five minutes and 30 seconds."

For the illusion of his wife and children, he walked out in only 30 seconds, he is simply a fighter among scumbags.

The gambler entered Yunmei's room again, and this time an old man shouted, "You bastard!"

This time, there was a white-haired old man standing in the room, he looked rich, and he was wearing silk and satin, but his eyes were wide open, and he kept shouting: "You son of a bitch! You bastard!"

The expression on the gambler's face finally changed, he was taken aback, and shouted, "Father!"

"I'm not your father! I don't have a son like you!" The white-haired old man kept tapping the cane on the ground. Have the face to call me father! You let me have the face to meet my ancestors under the nine springs!"

Although I knew in my heart that it was an illusion, I still felt uncomfortable seeing the floor being knocked out one by one by him.

The gambler had obviously been beaten a lot, but when he saw his father, he immediately trembled, knelt down, hugged his head and shouted, "Dad, I was wrong!"

"It's not my father's fault! Today, on behalf of my ancestors, I will beat you to death, you prodigal son!" The old man picked up his crutches and beat the gambler.

The gambler was so frightened that he didn't dare to move, he just lowered his head and kept repeating: "Father, I was wrong! I was wrong!"

"Beat him to death!" I wish I could go upstairs and help the old man beat this guy.

While smoking the gambler, the old man said: "I gave birth to you and raised you for so many years, and I trained you to be such a gambling addict, who abandoned his family and children! This old man will die in the underworld with no regrets!"

Seeing that the gambler hadn't resisted, I thought it was over and I could run out of time, but just as the old man was about to hit another crutch, the gambler suddenly raised his head and caught the crutch, slyly Looking at the old man, he said: "I was almost bluffed by you, old man, you are dead, now I am a gambling monster, even if you are my father, you are just a little ghost, why should I be afraid of you?"

After speaking, he dodged the walking stick and threw it aside, stood up from the ground, and said, "Old man! Get away."

The old man shouted: "Are you really trying to bet against your relatives?"

The gambler sneered and walked past the old man.

The old man also slowly disappeared.

The gambler glanced at Yunmei's room, his eyes lit up suddenly, he walked quickly to the bed, and took out a palm-sized doll from under the bed.

The puppet looked exactly like the little ghost, it was carved out of the same mold.

"Hehehehehe, that's it." The gambler grinned and went out with the doll. He was about to go downstairs when he looked at the last room left on the second floor.

At the far left end of the corridor, there is a lonely room, and the gambler obviously has no idea what that room is for.

He thought for a while, then opened the door and walked in.

The room was empty, except for a bookshelf as big as a wall. On the bookshelves, there were hundreds of dolls that were exactly the same as the dolls in the hands of the gambler!

(End of this chapter)