Funny: The Hilarious Life of a Wasted Taoist 2

Chapter 9
"Brother Ma is still a human being." Sanniang shook her head and said, "It is impossible to immediately change the expressions and movements of human beings subconsciously. Moreover, gamblers have become demons after many battles. I am afraid that it is not only expressions, movements and eyes, but also nervousness. When the heart beats, the body and skin heat up, any change in physical condition will reveal the information of the cards in hand."

"I thought the gamble was easy, but it turned out to be a trick!" I said, "So I'm doomed!"

"That's not necessarily true." Sanniang smiled slightly, "Since it's a message from the body, then we can just cover up that message."

I asked strangely: "How to cover it up?"

Sanniang smiled without saying a word, and cast her eyes on Yunmei.

Yunmei smiled sweetly, and said to me: "Horsepower, have you forgotten my specialty?"

"Yunmei is a painted skin, different from us." Sanniang smiled, "At this time, her specialty can just come in handy."

"I can change my identity by adjusting the skin on my body according to different situations. Over the years, I have pretended to be an old man, a child, a man, a woman..." Yunmei pulled me up and said as she went upstairs, "So whether it is Body temperature, expression, or the beating of the pulse, I can hide it for you with skin."

"Wait...wait..." I said, "Don't tell me you're going to skin me first and put another on me!"

"How is it possible." Yunmei looked at me with a smile, "Just put another layer on your outside."

After she finished speaking, she walked into the room, opened the closet, and said to me confidently: "Come on, you choose!"

This is the first time I've seen a woman's wardrobe other than my mom's and my grandma's!That is shocking!Other people's closets are full of clothes, but she is lucky, all of them are leather!

I feel like I have entered the freezer of a slaughterhouse, and all the hanging pigskins are dangling in front of me.

I couldn't help asking: "Where did you get all these things?"

"Of course it was stripped from the body of the dead." Yun Mei said a little embarrassedly, "Many people feel that the body doesn't matter after they die, so they allow me to take it away. There are also some people who have no soul after death. I think It’s a waste to throw it there, so I take it back for waste utilization, isn’t it advocating energy saving and low carbon now, and useless things can be fully utilized in this way, which is more environmentally friendly.”

It doesn't look like she's an environmentalist.

While talking, Yunmei took out a pile of skins and threw them on the bed, comparing them to me one by one: "How about this one? It seems a bit big... This one...is it too white..."

She was so happy, I felt panicked when I saw the dead skin sticking to my body, and said: "The people below are still waiting, let's hurry up."

"That's fine, let's just take this one." Yun Mei picked out a piece of human skin, "But it's a little wrinkled after being stored for a long time, I need to iron it."

Human skin is still hot!
After scalding the human skin, Yun Mei took out her brush and was about to paint.

I said: "Don't draw too much detail, hurry up and just draw casually." I thought for a while and emphasized, "The main thing is the face. I can't let him see anything from my expression. You'd better draw it. A face he couldn't see through."

"It's simpler, but it's hard to see through." Yun Mei pondered for a few seconds, and with a wave of her brush, she drew it immediately.

As a result, when I went downstairs with my skin on, the people downstairs were stunned for a moment, and then all laughed——Yun Mei drew a Crayon Shin-chan face for me!
"How can you be so calm at this time, using this face to relieve yourself of psychological pressure..." The gambler looked at me seriously and said, "Horsepower, you really are not an ordinary person."

I nodded modestly, then sat down, and waved my hands like a rainbow: "Deal!"

Nan Chen first opened a new deck of cards, then drew out a king and an eight, shuffled the cards three times, and dealt the cards one by one.During this time, he kept avoiding my gaze, coughed a few times as soon as he met my face, and turned his face away to smile.

With Yunmei's painted skin, my body reaction will not be seen through by gamblers. I remembered what they said before, and carefully controlled my movements. After drawing out the pair of cards in my hand, I never moved a card again.

And in order to prevent too many expressions from revealing my cards when the crowd was watching, Wang Liang and Reddy Gaga stood aside, and behind me stood only the incomprehensible San Niang and Yun in human skin. beautiful.

After throwing the pair of cards, there are six cards left in my hand, which are seven of hearts, three of diamonds, five of spades, king of hearts, a king, and an eight in order.

Disadvantage of apprenticeship.

The gambler holds four cards in his hand.

I drew first in the first game, knowing that he had no dangerous cards in his hand, I quickly drew a seven of diamonds and threw away a pair.

"Hehehe..." The gambler said with a smile, "You have two dangerous cards in your hand, it's really embarrassing." His hand slowly moved to the last eight, then stared at me and said, " Is it this one?"

The guy stared at me sharply.

I finally feel the horror of this gambler. He is like a lie detector. Now I absolutely believe that he is testing the cards in my hand based on my performance. If there is no Yunmei's skin to hide my expression It will definitely be exposed soon.

The expression is hidden, and the rest is my movements.

Holding the cards, I sat as firmly as Mount Tai, motionless.

"It's really a good technique." The gambler said with a chuckle, "I can't see it, I just draw one and forget it."

After that, he raised his hand and took away the three of diamonds.

"Hehehehe," the gambler laughed and threw away a pair of threes.

Of the remaining fives and kings, I drew a king.

Now I have three cards left in my hand, and the gambler has one card in his hand. If he wants to win, the gambler must draw one of the king and the eight.

In other words, if the gambler draws the five of spades, I lose the game.

"It's really difficult." The gambler looked at the three cards in my hand and said, "Two of the three cards are mines, which is not easy."

Although he said so, his expression didn't change a bit.

An ominous premonition suddenly rose in my heart.

"Since I drew a good card from that place just now." The gambler held the five of spades, "I will continue to draw from here."

The gambler put his hand on the five of spades and stopped moving. I don't know if he was trying to draw that card or if he really wanted to draw that card, so I could only continue to play dumb.

The atmosphere at the scene was extremely tense, and Reddy Gaga approached, lying on the table and watching us nervously.

"Your expression is sincere." The gambler let go of his hand again, and said, "I have to praise you, people often use redundant movements to cover themselves, but the more movements, the more flaws, instead of not moving Most elusive."

Seeing him let go of his hand, I secretly breathed a sigh of relief.

"There are only three cards left, and the chance of winning is one-third." The gambler flicked the last card in his hand, squinting at me, "Horsepower, you know I have won so many times, relying on What is it?"

I said without hesitation: "Then what's the point of saying, I'm cheating!"

"No!" The gambler slapped the card on the table with a confident smile on his face, "It's luck!"

"I have cultivated into a demon now, and the chance of being favored by the God of Gamblers is only one-third!" He drew a card from my hand and put it face up on the table, "It's not difficult at all!"

There was a five of spades shining brightly on the table.

The gambler throws the last pair of fives in his hand.

Nan Chen looked at the cards in our hands and made a verdict: "The first one, the gambler wins."

I held the bastard in one hand, and lowered my head dejectedly.

Lost!

"Wait a minute." Yun Mei said, "It doesn't mean he won. When calculating the rules just now, the gambler said that this game will win two out of three games. Now only one game has been decided, and the final result is yet to come." Didn't come out!"

"That's right, it's not over yet." The gambler fiddled with the dice in his hand, and said with a sinister smile, "It's rare to have such a pleasant game, and I don't want it to end too early."

"Take a break!" I stood up and led the people to my room to discuss countermeasures.

Wang Liang asked suspiciously: "Did he use spells to read cards?"

"Hey hey hey hey hey." Reddy Gaga was listening to us, giggling, and sneaking glances at us while laughing.

We glanced at him and continued talking.

"No." Sanniang said, "Yunmei and I are behind him, if he uses magic to look at cards, we won't fail to see."

I checked my body: "He keeps staring at me, did he do something to me?"

"Impossible!" Pai Yao immediately denied, "If he casts a spell on you, I will find out right away."

"So." The man said, "Did he really get lucky?"

"Hey hey hey." Reddy quack said, "Why don't you ask me why I'm laughing?"

"..." We glanced at him and continued our discussion.

"What about the swelling?" said the Hanged Ghost, "Are we going to try our luck with him?"

I reviewed my luck so far, sighed sadly, and said in a low voice: "I see it, in life, there is no sorrow in life, nor joy in death."

"Hey hey hey." Reddy Gaga said, "Ask me why I'm laughing!"

Yun Mei has a good heart, seeing him pitiful, she asked along the way: "What are you laughing at?"

"Hey hey hey." Reddy said, covering her mouth, "I won't tell you!"

Shame!

I pointed to Reddy Gaga and said, "We just lost, whoever is in a bad mood, hurry up and kick him to vent his anger!" After finishing speaking, I kicked his ass.

Reddy immediately yelled, clutching her buttocks, "You didn't see what I did!"

Wang Liang asked, "What did you do?"

"Just now..." Reddy Gaga said mysteriously, "I changed the cards!"

"What?" When the words came out, we were all stunned.

"You didn't see it, did you?" Reddy Gaga was very proud, took out a lollipop from his trouser pocket, peeled the skin, and stuffed it into his mouth. Niu B said loudly, "It's at the place where he draws cards." After a while, I changed the cards."

"Impossible." I said, "I can see clearly that he drew five of spades!"

"Because I was afraid that he would find out if I changed it once, so I changed it several times." Reddy Gaga said, waving his fingers. Five changed positions, and finally replaced five with eight!" He took out the lollipop, and said to us triumphantly, "I'm smart, as expected, none of you noticed it! Hehehehe."

"..."

The house fell into a deathly silence.

I really want to humanely destroy this guy immediately.

Sanniang was a little surprised and said: "I know Reddy Gaga's hands are fast, but I don't know that his hands are so fast that even I can't see it."

I was so angry that I pinched Reddy Gaga's neck: "Since it's changed, you won't change him to Wang or Ba!"

Reddy Gaga was still laughing: "Hey hey hey."

Yun Mei and Hanged Ghost hurried over and took my hand: "Don't get excited, don't get excited."

"Horsepower, don't get excited." Wang Liang said, "It might be a good thing for him to change like this."

I asked: "How to say?"

Wang Liang said: "If we beat him in the first round, it will definitely increase his vigilance, and it will be difficult to win later."

San Niang also nodded.

"The gambler said before that gambling is based on luck." Pai Yao said, "I doubt what he said. With luck alone, he couldn't have won until now, and he hasn't lost at all."

"So..." I asked, "It's just a cover to rely on luck. Does he have a way to win?"

"Not necessarily." Sanniang said, shaking her fan lightly, "Because we didn't feel that he was using spells."

"If the gambler has a certain way to win from the beginning," Pixiu continued, "then setting up the game of drawing the bastard should be well thought out."

The sure-win way to draw bastards...I suddenly broke out in a cold sweat, could it be that he could guess my cards!
We checked, there is no problem with the cards, and he didn't use spells. I was completely covered up like a cosmic man who landed on the moon. Where did he come from? What is my card?

"If he knows our cards," I said, "then Reddy Gaga changes his cards, and he'll know right away that it's a cheat. lost!"

"As expected of Brother Ma." Sanniang praised me honestly, "That's it, so it might be the best choice for Reddy Gaga not to change cards."

I let go of Reddy Gaga's neck, patted his shoulder and said, "Then I won't blame you this time."

Reddy Gaga said, "That's right, I've thought of it a long time ago."

I slapped him on the head: "Bullshit!"

The hanged ghost said: "If this is the case, can we use the technology of Reddy Quack?"

Yun Mei shook her head: "But if it's really luck, it's okay. If the gambler can really guess the cards, it's easy to see when the cards are changed when drawing the cards... Is there any way to change the cards without being discovered? Woolen cloth?"

A flash of inspiration flashed in my mind: "When the cards are dealt!"

Everyone looked at me strangely, and I said: "Didn't you realize that when the cards are dealt, the gamblers don't look at the cards, but put the cards aside and close their eyes to rest? This is the best time to cheat."

The man asked strangely: "But what's the point of cheating at this time?"

I said: "Swap Wang and Baquan to him, so that my cards will be two less than his, and the chance of winning will be greater!"

"This is a good idea." Wang Liang said, "But even so, we can't see the cards when they are dealt."

"You don't need to see the cards." The more I thought about it, the more proud I became, "As long as Wang and Ba appear in my hand, Sanniang and Yunmei behind me will make a signal, and Reddy Gaga will immediately transfer the cards to Nan Chen and ask Nan Chen to take the cards." The card is dealt to the gambler, so that the card does not go through the gambler's hand, but we can still win, but the signal must be very small, such as two people blinking at the same time, or moving the eyeballs, so as not to let Gamblers notice."

"But there is still a problem." Yun Mei said, "Even if Wang and Ba are in the hands of gamblers, it does not necessarily guarantee that we will win. As long as we draw Wang and Ba, the probability of winning or losing is still only half."

"No!" The man's head flew up suddenly, "We can win!"

Our eyes all focused on his head, and the man said: "Look, we have three rounds in total, and the first round is a best-of-three game. When I read novels and movies, the best-of-three game is absolutely It won’t be over in the second round! It will definitely be the third round, so it’s exciting enough!”

"What about Su Nasu's novels and movies?" said the Hanged Ghost.

"But this is possible." Sanniang thought for a while, then smiled, "The gambler thinks highly of himself, and keeps saying that the game is rare, and wants to drag the game to the third game and the second game. Elongation is also very possible."

"Then it's settled!" I slapped my thigh and said, "Go, go out and gamble for the second time!"

The gambler was already sitting at the gaming table waiting for me, and I sat back opposite him.

"Hehehehe." The gambler laughed, "Have you thought of a way to win?"

"You won't be able to laugh in a while, it will make you lose your pants!" I waved my hands confidently: "Deal the cards."

Nan Chen opened a new poker box, took out an eight of clubs and a king, and complained while shuffling the cards: "Sooner or later, you gamblers will be arrested."

When I saw the gambler leaning on the seat and staring at Nan Chen shuffling the cards, I felt cold, thinking that he would not close his eyes.

With an idea, I said to Nan Chen: "Shuffle it a few more times, it's best to cover it with your hand, maybe he can remember the order of the cards according to your shuffle."

Nan Chen said, "How do you shuffle the cards?"

Hearing this, the gambler sneered, closed his eyes, and put on a posture that I can win even if I don't look at it.

I was relieved.

Nan Chen shuffled the cards twice, and then started to deal the cards. While looking at the cards in my hand, I watched to see if the gamblers opened their eyes.

Halfway through the deal, I got a king.

I put the card in the position I agreed before, Reddy Gaga quickly changed the card to Nan Chen, and Nan Chen continued to throw the king card to the gambler without feeling anything.

Gamblers didn't find out.

If it goes well, I won't get a dangerous card after the cards are dealt, even fewer than the gambler's cards.

If the gambler somehow knows my cards, the dangerous cards must be in my favor in his hands rather than mine.

I watched in horror as the number of cards in Nanchen's hand dwindled, and the deal was over soon, and there were still more than a dozen cards left.

"Tsk." The gambler's voice suddenly came from across the table. I looked up and saw that the gambler had opened his eyes and was arranging his cards.

It doesn't matter, I thought, it will be over soon, the king is gone, and the eight should not be sent to me.

While thinking this way, he took the next card dealt—it was the Eight of Hearts!
I suddenly despaired of this world.

The gambler didn't close his eyes again, and Reddy Gaga couldn't find a chance to change cards.

Finally, there were only two cards left in Nan Chen's hand, one for the gambler and one for me.

There was no way to change the cards. I opened the last card in despair, froze for a moment, and smiled.

God forbid, the last card is the eight of diamonds!

I drew two eights.

But although I don't have a dangerous card in my hand, the situation is not optimistic.

This left me and the gambler with more cards than in the previous game. I have eight cards in my hand and the gambler has ten cards.

This time it's really down to luck.

Four times!As long as I can draw another card four times in a row, I can win him!
The gambler first drew a nine of spades from my hand, and I drew a Q of clubs from the gambler.

I don't have any dangerous cards, gamblers draw cards very fast, but I draw carefully.

Fortunately, my first two draws were safe.

The gambler took another ten of diamonds from me, and now I had three cards and the gambler had five.

If it goes well, draw two more safe cards and I will win!

I touched the edge of the gambler's cards one by one, staring at the gambler, trying to read the content of the cards from his face.

The gambler looked at me blankly at first, but then his expression became more and more strange, and finally he started to avoid my gaze, with a strange red color appearing on his face.

There is drama!I stared at his face firmly, and when he looked to the left, I moved to the left to look at him, and when he looked to the right, I moved to the right to look at him.

The gambler finally couldn't stand it anymore. He looked at me with a deformed face and said, "Can you stop looking at me, I want to laugh when I see your face."

I just remembered that I was still wearing the skin of Crayon Shin-chan.

The red on the emotional face was not shocked by my domineering, but because I was holding back my laughter!

Why are you so shy!
I looked away, looked at the five cards in the gambler's hand, and finally chose the second card on the right.

I only have three cards left in my hand.

I secretly made up my mind that if it is a safe card, I will post a hundred small advertisements for the temples on the mountain for free!
I slowly opened the card.

It is a king.

I really want to stomp this hand, the gambler still has two safety cards in his hand, what's wrong with drawing, draw a king!
Now the gambler still has four cards in his hand, and I also have four cards in my hand, but the situation is obviously not good for me. If the gambler can really see the cards, then he will definitely not be able to draw the king, but I have a chance Take his eight.

"Hehehehe," the gambler laughed at me from across the table, "Horsepower, it looks like your luck has come to an end."

"Don't talk too early." I stiffened my neck and said: "The game is not over yet, maybe I can win in the end because of my luck."

Now there's only one way to win - make Reddy Gaga switch cards while the Gambler draws!
Reddy Gaga is looking at me with a smile on the side.

(End of this chapter)