Thank you for making me who I like

Chapter 16 Facing life gracefully and brightly is because of you (1)
taste buds remember i love you

Mo Chen
Strawberry Lollipops
My younger brother is four years younger than me. He was weak and went to school late, so the two of us never had the experience of going to school together.He goes to elementary school and I go to middle school.When I was in middle school, I lived on campus and went home once a week.Every Friday, he would wait early at the intersection where I had to go home, and kept asking my mother, "Why hasn't my sister come back?"

After I went to college, I went home once a month and slowly saved a little money from my own house, so that I could buy him his favorite sneakers when he was in high school.

Once when I arrived home first on Friday, he opened the door and saw me, put down the schoolbag in his hand, and fumbled out two strawberry-flavored Alpine lollipops. (Although he is a boy, he has always liked to eat snacks. Small snacks such as melon seeds and spicy sticks can often be found in his schoolbag.) When I saw the lollipop in his hand, I raised my voice subconsciously: "You You're so old, and you still eat snacks? Your living expenses are all spent by you like this!"

He who was packing his schoolbag suddenly froze, looked up at me and said, "Mom said you were coming back this week, so I bought it for you..."

Sudden loss of speech.Just remembered that he doesn't eat sweets.

Dove chocolate

In the second semester of my junior year, I was always torn between the two considerations of taking the postgraduate entrance examination and working first after graduation.Thoughts keep coming and going in my heart. At this moment, I have just made up my mind to fight to the end with my studies, and a sudden thought in the next moment can overthrow everything before.On days when there are no classes, I stay in the self-study room for a whole day, watching people around me memorize thick English books for postgraduate entrance examinations, feeling uneasy. "History of Chinese Film" and "History of World Film" were piled high on the table and hadn't been turned over for a long time. When I stuck my fingers on it, there was fine dust on it.Giving up is easy; persistence is difficult.

When summer came, it was very sad, and I wasted the whole spring while wandering around.

That day, I found two boxes of Dove chocolates on the seat. I thought in a trance that the same girl had forgotten them, so I pushed the chocolates to the side.For the next few days, every time I walked into the study room, they were all placed neatly on my desk.So, I began to understand a little bit, and felt that there was a pair of eyes watching me in a certain corner of the classroom.That line of sight suddenly made my life clear, I gained confidence in myself, and I also had courage to face the future.

How did he know the owner of the line of sight?Forget, just remember he's not my type.

At the end of summer, I opened the box and it melted after being in the heat for too long.My first taste of liquid chocolate and it was delicious!
caterpillar bread

There is a small shop selling bread at the gate of the university, the name of the shop is "Bread Hut".The facade is simple, and the types of bread are also very single, but it can meet the needs of several of our junior foodies. We often buy long loaves of bread that we call "caterpillars".

The bakery had a [-]% discount at six o'clock in the afternoon, so after six o'clock, there was a long queue in the bakery as if by magic.There are not many times at the end of the queue, because the eight people in the dormitory always go in pairs. In order to buy a "caterpillar" for [-], we even skipped class secretly.

Holding the bread and walking in the evening with a cool breeze, it is the most pleasant time of the day.The passage of time is imperceptible, because the decibels of talking and laughing have overwhelmed all the sounds from the outside world.We talked about our expectations for the future, our worries about our studies, and sometimes we sang a few lines in a nonchalant way: "The simpler the merrier, the heart is like a tree full of flowers. If you have loved hard, you will not be bitter..." We cried and laughed together, and we also called out the name of the person we were secretly in love with in the empty teaching building under the night, and the echo echoed back and hit everyone's heart.

After work, when happy or unhappy, I still like to eat a "caterpillar".I always feel that sweets are the best cure for me.Every time I walk into a bakery, I take a deep breath, and my vision is like a scanner, automatically searching for the location of the target.It's just that "Caterpillar" can no longer taste the taste of college.

Just like Xiao Hong mentioned the "Leba circle" many times in her later articles, I have also mentioned the "caterpillar" of the bread hut many times.What really reminds me is not the sweetness of the cream, but the days when we were together.I haven't thought about going back, I just think about it from time to time.I also really want to know if the beautiful girls later were with the names they called out.

Those flavors left in the memory soften the time and freeze the memory in the most unique posture.They have given me strength and goodness, which I use to soften the grit in the years.

You are your own strong backing
Richelin

When I was young, I was very afraid of crossing the road, because one year, my nanny took me across the road to play in the park, but she saw a van speeding up, and when she got nervous, she shook off my hand that was holding her tightly. ran away by himself.I stood there dumbfounded with my mouth open, and then I heard the sound of tires rubbing violently against the road. Although the car finally stopped in front of me, I was still stunned.

When I was in a coma, I knew that I was picked up by someone, and then I didn't remember it.Since then, I have been left with street phobia. As long as there is no one to pass by, I will stand until someone is with me.

Later, my friends discovered this feature of mine, and often ran away in groups when crossing the road in the middle.I stood in the middle of the road, struggled for a while, and then turned back. Although the distance between going to the opposite side and going back is basically the same, I just can't accept that I can walk from one side of the road to the other side by myself.After my friends finished laughing, they would helplessly walk back from the opposite side and take me across the road again.

I always try my best to do something to cover up the unique cowardice in my heart.

In the second grade, a small snake crawled out of the grass in the physical education class, and a large group of friends ran away.I stood where I was, thought for a while, and then rushed up and stepped on the snake ten or twenty times, and the whole snake was trampled into a snake trunk.Everyone applauded for me, but I didn't feel proud at all, because I didn't dare to cross the road alone.

When I was in the third grade, my friends were discussing how disgusting frogs are, and they bet who would dare to catch a frog and put it on their palm.At this time, I silently came out from the grass, looked at everyone, and then took out a toad from my trouser pocket.The friends fled in all directions.But I still don't feel that I am a cow, because I dare not cross the road alone.

When we were in the fourth grade, we caught a fish in the artificial pond in the community. A group of people caught a fish for an hour without catching it.I picked up a bucket, squatted down, and put it into the water in front of the fish, and after a few seconds, the fish swam in by itself, and I lifted the bucket up again.Everyone worships me again, but I still dare not cross the road alone.

Maybe many people can't believe it, but this has indeed become a relatively big problem in my childhood.Looking out of the window in the dead of night, I would feel very ashamed, why I am a boy, but dare not cross the road alone.Later, I developed a bad habit of walking on the road with my friends. If I wanted to cross the road, I would pull the clothes of the person in front of me. Him, don't ask.

I have eaten countless times, walked downstairs, looked at the road in front of me, took a deep breath, made up my mind to walk over today, and then bravely took the first step, and then subconsciously Turn around and go back to the original place.At this time, I will feel very lost in my heart, and I still remember that kind of loss until today.

Later, I got seriously ill and stayed in the hospital for a month. For a few days, I had to make more than ten spare needle holes in my hands, and then I kept the needles inside and stuck them with adhesive tape.That was a form of treatment that I couldn't understand because the needle holes didn't work until the end.As for the disease, the doctor did not figure it out in the end.I just had a fever and vomited every day, thinking that I would not live long, and suddenly felt more lost than not being able to cross the road.

One afternoon, a nurse came to give me another injection, and I was a little nervous.The nurse asked me, "Where's Mom?" I said I hadn't come back yet.The nurse looked at the pinholes in my hand, felt a little distressed, and asked me if it hurt.I said it hurts when I hit it.Then the nurse said to me inexplicably: "You are very strong, kid, you are really your own strong backing."

I was dizzy with a fever and couldn't quite understand this sentence, so I said "ah" to the nurse in confusion.

She repeated patiently: "I said, you are your own strong backing!" Then I watched her give me an injection silently, and watched her leave.

That evening, when I walked out of the ward, I saw a big road in front of the hospital. I walked to the zebra crossing, looked at the opposite side, and looked at the pinholes in my hands. I repeated in my heart: "You are your own strong. Back up!" Then he took a deep breath and walked straight ahead.There was a car on the way, I stopped in the middle of the road, the car passed by, I continued walking, and walked to the opposite side after a few seconds.I looked back at the hospital gate directly in front of me, and walked back.In the end, I stared at the main road in front of me, and realized that I could cross the road without having people around me, or being dragged or pulled by others. I burst into tears, feeling relieved of years of depression and struggle.I am no longer a boy who is afraid to cross the street alone.

The next day after that, my fever subsided and I was discharged from the hospital in the afternoon.No one knows why it suddenly healed, and no one knows that I was entangled with half my childhood because I was afraid of crossing the road alone.

From that day on, I will never hold some disgusting little animals in my hands, just to show that I am very brave.Now that I think about it, I can't face the biggest fear in my heart, but the more it is manifested, the more cowardly it becomes.

It may seem inexplicable to try so hard to overcome some things that seem trivial to others.But occasionally when I'm nervous, I think, is it more terrifying than standing alone in the middle of the road when I was a child?Then I relaxed a lot.

Being really strong may not mean being invulnerable, never being hurt by anything, but being able to face the biggest fear in your heart and walk out of the shadows after being hurt, and be a strong person.

So this absurd and unimaginable thing always jumps into my mind together with the phrase "you are your own strong backing" when I want to be cowardly.

Many years later, one night, I sat by the window to write a manuscript for a magazine. When I was about to finish writing, my feet shook a few times, kicked off the power supply, and all the writing was gone; then I sorted out my emotions and continued. Writing, halfway through writing, the power went out.In the end, the whole person collapsed and burst into tears.After a while, I picked up my mobile phone and wanted to send a text message to the editor saying that I might not be able to hand in the manuscript. When I was hesitant to send it, I glanced out the window, and there was a big road downstairs.

I couldn't help thinking of that absurd experience, and thinking of the child who cried with emotion just because he finally crossed the road once, his heart suddenly became clear.I think of the sentence "You are your own strong backing". At this time, no one can help you. Maybe in the future you will encounter more roads that you can only cross by yourself, so you must finish writing it.

Later, when I finished writing, it was dawn.

Going back to many years ago, if I hadn’t asked the nurse one more time, if I hadn’t kept that sentence deeply in my heart, if I hadn’t been obsessed with countless times and faced a road that seemed to me to have no end, I think I would have I must still be habitually cowardly and habitually give up, so now, I may be walking on a completely different life track.

Although the current work and life are full of challenges for me, I don't feel afraid and helpless.

People are not too lonely, there are many roads, you may need to walk by yourself.But that's okay because you are your own strong backing.

just joy at will
fat cat

"Xiao Que Xing" and 60 round neck T-shirts

To me, buying a round neck T-shirt I like is a kind of "little fortune".Although my requirements are not strict, it takes a lot of searching to fully satisfy them: first, they must be in five colors: blue, black, white, gray, and brown; second, they must be made of [-]% cotton. Doped with Lycra and silk, not to mention nanotechnology; third, the shape of the board should be appropriate, and the neckline, cuffs, waist and other parts should not be loose or tightly wrapped-the current popular design is really true. It is not easy to find such a middle-of-the-road style. It is either a slim design, or a street style with a toga and long sleeves. After wearing it, you almost want to ride the wind; Collar and Henry Collar are all unnecessary; fifth, there is no need for any pattern text, and it is best not to even provide the brand logo.

Not all patterns are exclusive.For example, there is a T-shirt pattern of the Dutch denim brand Blue Blood that wins my heart: a big red lobster with teeth and claws, located at the heart.This means that I eat pig's head meat with my mouth and big lobsters in my heart. The so-called "aspirations are high". The brand founder of Blue Blood is a cowboy madman. He has a collection of more than 1 antique jeans, and he can build a cowboy castle.Presumably, when he stayed in the cowboy castle and admired it, the feeling of abundance in his heart could be called "great fortune".

There are more than 1 pairs of jeans, and there is definitely no way to wear them all. My 60 round-neck T-shirts are all soaked in my own sweat, although some of them can't be worn for a few days in total.Nowadays, the small closet is already full, but I can't help but buy it when I meet the desired one, and the number of collections is still expanding.Perhaps, I was looking for the "destroyingly beautiful" one, but I never found it.Of course, whether it looks good or not, the crew neck T-shirt has only 30% decision-making power, and the other 70% depends on its owner.A muscular man like Arnold Schwarzenegger won't look good in clothes, and one like Hugh Grant doesn't look right either.What can dress well is Brad Pitt's muscular and slender figure, always with an uninhibited boyishness.In short, the round neck T-shirt is such a kind of outfit, whether it is lying down or wandering, going up a mountain or climbing a tree, everything is suitable.Wearing it, you don't have to care about the image, you can do some boring but interesting things to your heart's content.

Such things can't be done in a three-piece suit.Other types of clothing inevitably add a certain identity and meaning to its owner, but this clean and refreshing round-neck T-shirt is like a second skin for human beings.

That's about it, I like round neck T-shirts, it's because I'm in love and don't want to let go of my youth.When I grow a soft bulbous belly and can no longer wear these round-neck T-shirts after a few years, that is when I surrender to the years.When the sun is fine, I will hang out all the round-neck T-shirts in the yard, lie on the armchair, watch them dance gently in the breeze, and recall the glory of my youth.

Miss Sunshine, you don't know how much I love you

On a sunny noon in September, because of appendicitis attack, I went to the community clinic to hang two hanging bottles, and was going home to rest.The lower right corner of my abdomen is still aching. In my imagination, a fierce war is going on there. The germs are like the orc army in the movie "The Lord of the Rings". Before the Chinese levofloxacin army arrived, they were burning, killing, looting and doing all kinds of evil.

Going home needs to go through a large square of more than 1000 square meters.Next to it, a child and a puppy ran past. I watched their jumping steps with admiration, and my heart was full of sour jealousy.

Because I had to slow down my pace, I noticed that today's thin cloudy and slightly overcast sky is exactly the kind of good weather I like most: "shorts, slippers, long-sleeved T-shirt, and sunglasses on top of my head".On the benches in the square, there are some white-haired old people sitting. They squint their eyes and browse this familiar world peacefully.Bathed in the sun, their eyes were full of warm love.Of course, this is my romantic wishful thinking, maybe the old man and the old lady sitting back to back on the bench over there are sulking!

When I passed by an empty bench, I couldn’t help but sit down and stretched a few postures, but I didn’t feel comfortable enough, so I just lay down with my backpack on my head, put my hands on my chest, took a long breath, and closed my chest again. Rest your eyes.There was endless red in front of his eyes, and the ubiquitous heat infiltrated his body.The levofloxacin army, which was fighting fiercely in the lower right corner of my abdomen, seemed to have received strong reinforcements. They all of a sudden cheered up and chased and killed the special forces of germs.

I suddenly understood why old people like to bask in the sun.Miss Sunshine is the last love in our life.Saying goodbye to her means escaping into eternal darkness.When the illness came, I seemed to be approaching the end of my life all of a sudden, and I suddenly felt a sense of fear that my days were numbered.When the body is in good condition, I think that I still have endless years in my hands, and I either avoid the sun like hatred, preferring not to see the sun, or I hope it will turn me into a beautiful bronze or wheat color, and I have no love in my heart.Only when the body and desires are old, can one realize how considerate, gentle and precious this silent sunshine is.

Several years later, I sat quietly on a bench in the square, the sun was like a warm hat, covering my gray and sparse head, and I would squint my eyes, and use my teeth-missing mouth to gently Humming: You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.You make me happy when the sky is cloudy.Darling, you never understood how much I love you...

(End of this chapter)