Sadness in Vienna

Chapter 114

At night, I go out in my car, the United States has a small population density, and the roads in this country are very spacious.Out of the urban area, there are patches of fields everywhere, the air is good, one can enjoy the scenery of the sunset without being disturbed by anyone, and there are occasional passing vehicles on the road, but they just pass by, so this world only has large tracts of land and I.

When I got here, my mother gave me a white jeep, and I drove it around.Although I had just arrived in New York, I acted like a real American, spending my days in bars, getting drunk, lying unconscious in a corner.

Mom and Rick spent long hours each day coming to see me and helping me out of bars.Mom knows the pain in my heart, she gives me enough space and time to release.Seriously, I just inherited her looks, personality-wise we are not the same at all.Chen Ailin is gentle and rational, while I am impulsive and emotional.

Looking at the scenery in the suburbs, I took out a bottle of beer from the car and watched the sunset in the distance while drinking.

The sky here is very pure and clean, as if far away from the cities that emit exhaust fumes.Through my slightly drunkenness, I saw Mu Yang, he was walking towards me, I stretched out my hand, but couldn't catch him, when I tried to catch him again, he walked away, his outline slowly merged with the The evening glow blends into one.

I heard his voice, "Luoluo, don't do this." Yes, that's what he said to me.

"Mu Yang, why did you leave? You shouldn't know me, you shouldn't... I'm simply a disaster." Facing the figure who was going away, tears filled my cheeks.

I like to sit alone in the suburbs, drink and smoke, and even deliberately dig out a few small holes in the knees of my jeans.I remember one time, Rick took me to his friend's party, it was in a noisy bar, full of noise, debauchery, enthusiastic American youths were playing drums, saxophones, and suona... …everything was available, and a singer was there singing soulfully.

There was a piano next to it, no one was playing it, no one invited me, so I mingled with them.

Afterwards, Rick told me they all thought I was his girlfriend or his sister.I leaned against the door and laughed. In fact, I was ten years older than Rick, so I could be his aunt.

I have already drank all the beer in the car, and there are only cigarettes in the car, which are women's cigarettes. I don't like women's cigarettes, but my mother always replaces the men's cigarettes I bought with women's cigarettes every time.I know, she can't bear to see me so depraved, and I don't know when my bad mood will get better.

The real reason, the reason why I became like this, is all because of her and Xia Jin, they are very rich, but my daughter, when she was 30 years old, did not enjoy their wealth, for their love, I paid for them life of sin.

Every time my mother looked at me with red eyes, "Luoluo, don't smoke this kind of cigarette. It's not good for girls. Would you like to change to this kind?" She snatched the men's cigarette from my hand and handed me a Saint Laurent , I didn't refuse, lit it, the faint fruity smell, I don't like it.But I smoked anyway because I didn't know how to pass the time other than smoking.

The smoke blinded my eyes. Although I left the country, my heart was not peaceful, because I was not reconciled, but I had to force myself to be reconciled.The weakness of my human nature was ruthlessly held in the hands of others, and I lost, so I had no choice but to flee hastily.

Rick's cell phone is on for me 24 hours a day, and I know my mom told him to do it because she's afraid I'll kill myself.In fact, having failed at suicide several times, I was tired of trying it again.The process of committing suicide is extremely painful, it’s okay to die, it’s all over, if you don’t die, you still have to live in pain.I told Rick I was in the suburbs and I couldn't drive drunk.He asked which direction I was in.I said, I don't know, I only know that I am in the suburbs.

After finishing speaking, he hung up the phone and fell into the car.

(End of this chapter)