Self-control 2: How to control your emotions and destiny?

Chapter 29 Teaching You to Work Happily (5)
Reverse infection - On the contrary, if the team's emotions are reverse infection, everyone is very depressed, and every newcomer is surrounded and assimilated by this negative emotion, the performance of the team may be difficult to guarantee.

It is precisely because team emotions have these three characteristics and will greatly affect the team's work results, so all excellent leaders attach great importance to and are good at regulating their team emotions.If a person wants to achieve real success, he must learn to manage his own emotions; similarly, if a team wants to achieve real success, it must also manage the emotions of its subordinates, create a good team mentality, and create a team full of positive contagion. Without a strong team environment, otherwise it will be difficult to extend the vitality of the team.

If employees have been in this team for a long time, they still have little respect for you and are very dissatisfied with the atmosphere of this team-if there are more and more employees, it may be your personal responsibility.Are you unable to meet the life vision of your employees?This is one reason, but most of the time, it is the leader's failure to guide the team's emotions, so that employees do not feel respected, comfortable and dedicated in this environment.

A company manager said angrily: "It's really unreasonable. There is a guy who has been in my department for almost a year, and he still doesn't know what execution is. I called him three times yesterday and told him to send the weekly report quickly." , he turned a deaf ear to it. My voice was so loud that even a pig downstairs might have heard it, couldn't he hear it?"

My take is: it's not that the employee can't hear, it's that he has no respect for his boss.Of course, there are many reasons for this phenomenon, and it is very likely that the employee is responsible.We can't rule out another possibility - the manager is really incompetent, he didn't establish enough authority in his department to manage the order of a team, and the employees under him complained about him.However, this employee happened to be the one who dared to jump out and challenge him directly.

When some leaders are not respected by their subordinates, they only complain about their employees and feel that they ask too much.He couldn't see the essence of the problem, and he didn't want to think about what was going on.Under the management of this type of boss, the team will be unable to retain excellent employees, and gradually even mediocre employees will be unable to retain them.Why do I often mention the topic of emotional control to middle and high-level managers who participate in the course?It is because as business leaders and team leaders, if we lack observation and effective means in this regard, we will gradually lose our attraction to our subordinates in the end.

I said, "What makes big companies successful is that they provide an atmosphere of fulfillment. People feel fulfilled just by being in their environment. People work hard to prove that they are worthy of it, and that in itself It's just very provocative emotion. It plays on people's psychological vulnerabilities, but it works."

At the same time, there are many small companies that are also able to retain good people.What is their secret?They take a low-cost but equally "exploiting weaknesses" approach-they provide employees with a good vision, help employees design their life directions, and then gain everyone's approval, create a loose and fighting team, and Created a platform with strong attraction and positive emotional cohesion for team members.People with big aspirations just come in and feel that they are "on the way to big aspirations."Sometimes it's a "nervous illusion", but they really fit in and don't want to leave once they're here.This is an important manifestation of an excellent leader's ability to control the team's emotions.

Many years ago, Amory, our emotional management course leader, entered a new prison in New York City as a psychiatrist for two years.At work, Amory classifies the prisoners according to different characteristics such as personality traits, social prospects, and places of origin, and then matches them into different teams to train them how to communicate and get along with other members of the same group.After they get out of prison, we also track each person for a year or a year and a half.

We are invited by the federal government to assist in training, and hope that such training can help prisoners successfully return to real life and integrate healthily into the community.We have established a complete analysis and support system during the assistance process, so that they can establish relationships with others, clearly know their own positioning, and then independently formulate reasonable communication strategies, and maintain stable emotions to cope with unpredictable external changes (such as people's accusations, ridicule, suspicion and over-defense).This is the origin of our Team Emotions course, the beginning of our efforts to assist managers in channeling the emotions of their team members.

Chain reaction: emotions (good or bad) → interpersonal and team dynamics (strong or weak) → combat effectiveness (high or low)

Emotional characteristics:

Teammate mode - the teammate mode that can complement each other's strengths and weaknesses is the best, with strong cooperation and proper cooperation, and the positive index of emotions is the highest.However, teammates are often formed only for short-term goals, and it is difficult to become a stable long-term partner, so there is not much room for leaders to intervene.

The group model——the beginning of the division of labor also means that the divergence of interests begins to appear, the diversity of emotions begins to take shape, and the leader appears, and assumes the mission of distribution and coordination.At this time, the team is in a fragile period, and most companies die during the group mode. At this time, the leader needs to show his iron fist and act arbitrarily.

Small team mode--the formation of different factions shows that proper authorization and hierarchical management are required to unite everyone.At this time, the leader's task needs to be moderately inclined to delegation, and the importance of his personal charm reaches its peak at this time.According to our research, in the small team model, team emotions are most easily affected by the leader's personal emotions, because this is the most critical period for a team to grow and grow, and there is often no way out.

Large team mode--emotions are diversified, negative news spreads very fast, and it is not easy to clarify, and it is easily affected by turmoil.At this time, the leader's mission is transformed into establishing a transparent mechanism and setting comprehensive and detailed competition rules to ensure the enthusiasm of each member and to achieve a stable balance between team interests and personal interests.

According to the different levels above, we can know what the emotional characteristics of various teams are, and what kind of leadership should be adopted.

For example, what is the emotional response pattern of an army?For example, Cao Cao is a master at controlling the emotions of a large team, so he became the biggest winner in the Three Kingdoms era—and he can also be one of the best managers.He led the troops on an expedition, and suddenly encountered a harsh environment with rugged mountains and hot weather. The marching speed became slower and slower, and the soldiers could not drink water.If you were you, what would you do?
Most people may consider camping and resting, find a water source before continuing to move forward, or simply turn around and withdraw because they are afraid that the soldiers will mutiny.But Cao Cao's method is to "paint apples", using an unreal vision to mobilize the soldiers' emotions and attract them to move forward.He pointed to the front with his whip and said: "Soldiers, I have seen a large plum forest ahead. The plums there are big and delicious. We just need to hurry up and bypass this mountain and we will be there!" , Everyone's mouth was full of fluid, their spirits were lifted, and the speed of the march was accelerated again, and finally arrived at the battlefield ahead of schedule.

What does this story illustrate?I think it demonstrates two qualities of the emotional model of large teams:

First, the emotions of team members are influenced by the information they receive.In a team, everyone is a publisher of information, and at the same time they have another identity: a receiver of information.They passively accept any information, including the company's development direction, future decisions, orders from their superiors, or different factors from the outside world.People are emotionally affected by these information, and they also change under the influence of these information.In the face of positive information, people are excited and optimistic; in the face of negative information, people are disappointed and pessimistic.

Second, the leader's personal emotions are decisive.Although our team members can get information about the "group" from any other channel, such as "what the company will do next" or "has the company really encountered a crisis?" The information released by the top leader is the most direct and decisive.The leader's message has the strongest impact, and whether his personal mood is optimistic or pessimistic has an immediate impact on team morale.

What are the principles of controlling team emotions?This is the next part that the team leader should be interested in - "How can I control the mentality of my subordinates by releasing information?" There are two basic principles here:

Principle A: Separate good news

The positive emotional stimulation of two good news releases is far greater than the excitement generated by two good news releases at once.This is the use of people's emotional incremental mechanism.Therefore, good bosses are used to saying good things separately and delaying gratification instead of telling everyone all at once.

Principle B: Deliver Bad News Together
If the bad news comes one after the other, then don't tell them separately, but tell them all at the same time.Because the sum of the losses of two bad news, as well as the pain caused to people, is far less than the sum of the negative stimuli experienced twice separately.

In the actual investigation and training, our emotional consultant team found that many company executives violated these two principles, or even the exact opposite.Generally speaking, they are willing to tell the good news to the employees without reservation, hoping to give them the greatest stimulation, as the Chinese often say "good things come in pairs".However, when there is bad news, they have a kind of procrastination and hiding mentality. If they can’t say it, they don’t say it. of negative stimuli.The latter approach is not only useless, but also increases the degree of pain for the receiver of the message.

So what do smart bosses do?Galangli is the director of the marketing department of a company in Los Angeles. His experience is that he must master the rhythm and gradually spread the good news to the entire team.When the team encounters many unfavorable situations, another principle is needed, that is, these negative factors should not be conveyed to everyone every day, but a meeting announcement should be concentrated, and then everyone's combat effectiveness should be gathered to solve the crisis together.

Galanley said: "I think those bosses who talk about difficulties every day not only fail to cultivate the sense of crisis in their subordinates, but wipe out people's positive emotions."

Yes, in addition to this experience, we also recommend that the team lead to change the interpretation of the message.For example, if there is only one piece of good news, you can split the piece of good news into several small pieces of good news, and tell your subordinates step by step and at the right time, so that they can go through a stage of accumulation of good mood.At the same time, you can also control the bad news first, after a certain period of time and your own specific analysis, processing and integration, combine them into one question, and formally inform employees in a collective occasion.When disclosing this news, it is also necessary to say its positive side-methods and possibilities.Then, the pain of team members can not only be reduced, but also because it is a positive challenge to generate a stronger will to fight.

Special Note to Leaders
Leaders use a variety of methods to send signals in the emotional management of the team:

Written Reports – communicating formal information in writing;
Face-to-face conversation - urgent events require face-to-face communication;
E-mail—announcement or non-urgent situation can use e-mail;
Multi-person meeting - major issues that need to be resolved immediately are discussed in the meeting;

Expressions and body gestures - devices of suggestion and subtle channels of information transmission.

For example, when your facial expression conveys optimism, lightness, and determination, it immediately contags the entire team.Conversely, a leader's decadence will immediately plunge the entire team into depression.Either way is absolutely not to be ignored by leaders.

Since you are concerned about team emotions, for example, as the leader of a department or the leader of an enterprise, you need to let employees see the future of the enterprise and share with you their vision for a better future, thereby forming a deeper expectation.Positive team emotions can enable employees to gain a strong sense of mission and value spiritually, make lasting contributions to the team, and save management costs.

You have to believe that although we can buy people's time and expertise with money, it is difficult to buy their enthusiasm, loyalty, creativity, or their dedication.However, when you can provide a good team environment, you will be able to produce this powerful attraction, bring people's characteristics together, help you realize your vision in life, build an excellent team, and create something great career.

Emotional Self-Management Course
team
Delivery: You must know how to communicate your optimism and willpower, like a TV tower broadcasting a signal, so that every employee can receive it instantly.To do this, you must fully open your self-awareness, your willingness to think, and your charisma (which includes your optimism, positivity, and unique authority).

Sharing: You must know how to share your goals and ideals with everyone, and let people understand these things through communication, so as to mobilize their strength and set off toward the same dream.By sharing, let everyone in the team regard your dream as their own ideal and do their best to realize it.

Charisma: Your first charisma is the emotional management part.Generally, those who can lead a group of people to fight bravely and achieve considerable achievements all have strong "emotional charm". They have excellent emotional qualities, are masters of emotional control, and are also outstanding figures who guide people to emotional sublimation together.

Calmness: Team leaders must never be greedy, angry and fanatical, because this is the abyss towards destruction.No matter what kind of crisis you encounter, you should face it calmly, not to be surprised by favor or humiliation, and to show your noble character in front of your subordinates, which is your last line of defense.

(End of this chapter)