Pillow Book of Talmud Wisdom

Chapter 36 People Need Friends All the Time—Jews on Making Friends

The Jews believe that everyone in the world is equal and has dignity, and only with mutual respect and appreciation can a harmonious interpersonal relationship be created.

As the "Talmud" says: the basic rights and interests of people are equal.

Abandon prejudice and treat people equally

"Talmud" tells people: All people are created equal, and there is no distinction between high and low.We have no right to dictate to others by what we have given, and we have no reason to feel sorry for ourselves for what happened to us the day after tomorrow.Above others, treat others as human beings; below others, treat yourself as human beings.This is a basic posture of being a human being, and one of the principles of being a human being.Therefore, at any time, we should abandon the narrowness and prejudice against others, and treat others equally.

Mary Kay is a well-known management expert in the United States. Before she became famous, she was a salesman for a cosmetics company.Once, after a full day of sales practice, she was eager to shake hands with the sales manager.The manager just gave a very pep talk.Mary waited in line for three hours before it was her turn to meet the manager.Unfortunately, the manager didn't look her in the eye at all, just looked over her shoulder to see how long the line was, and didn't even notice that he was about to shake Mary's hand.Mary waited 3 hours for such a reception!She felt that her personality was insulted and her face was hurt.So she aspired to be a manager: "If one day people line up to shake my hand, I will give everyone who comes to me full attention—no matter how tired I am at the time!"

Later, Mary Kay's wish really became a reality.The cosmetics company named after her has finally become a large enterprise with considerable scale, and many of her admirers have come to shake her hand, and she has indeed always adhered to the vow she made before.She said: "I have stood in front of a long line many times and shook hands with various people for hours. Once I feel tired, I always think of the situation where I used to line up to shake hands with the manager. He didn't pay attention to the harm I caused me, I immediately cheered up, looked directly into the eyes of the handshake, and said something as close as possible..."

Above others, treat others as human beings; below others, treat yourself as human beings.This is not only a mentality issue, but also a moral issue.In fact, the importance of a person's attitude towards another person in real life is self-evident.

One night, Eisenhower, who had nothing to do, took a walk outside the camp.He saw a soldier sadly behind the camp, and walked over: "Hey, it seems that we are connected by fate, and I am also in a bad mood, can we go for a walk?" Seeing Eisenhower's appearance, the soldier suddenly thought I was very nervous, but I never expected that this respected general would invite him for a walk when he needed a friend to talk to him most.Naturally, he felt extremely honored, and of course their conversation was relaxed.In the words of this soldier: "That night he was no longer a general who commanded thousands of troops, and I was no longer an unknown soldier. We were friends who talked about everything." The soldiers who were very pessimistic became optimistic, and they showed extraordinary bravery in the following battles.Queen Victoria of England, as the supreme owner of the British imperial power, has always been very arrogant.

Once, during a fierce quarrel with her husband, Prince Albert, she also showed a condescending tone, which hurt the prince's dignity as a man.To express his displeasure, the prince entered his room without a word, and shut the door behind him.A few minutes later, someone knocked on the door. "Who?" the Prince exclaimed angrily. "I, quickly open the door to the Queen of England." Victoria still replied arrogantly.When Albert heard it, he felt uncomfortable, let alone opened the door.After a long time, the knock on the door rang again, but this time it was much gentler, and only a voice said softly, "Albert, it's me, Victoria, your wife." The door opened, and all the grievances disappeared Albert stood at the door, and the two reconciled.

It was obviously wrong for Queen Victoria to take the posture in the court to the world of two people to show it.People in a disadvantaged position are inherently sensitive, and any unusual behavior will attract their great attention. As people often say, don't talk short words in front of short people, and people in high positions should take care of the people below them. mood.At the same time, people in a humble position should establish a belief in self-esteem and self-improvement, because in many cases, if you even look down on yourself, how can you let others look down on you?A few years ago, in a Japanese company, Chinese employees had conflicts with the Japanese boss over work rights issues, and the conflict intensified. Finally, the female boss, who was as angry as a lioness, asked the person concerned to kneel down to her to show remorse and apologize, otherwise Just picked up the luggage and left.Many workers succumbed to the boss's coercion and bent their knees that were used to standing up to work.Just as the female boss was patrolling with her arrogant and self-satisfied eyes, a young guy stood upright in front of her. "Why don't you kneel?" the female boss growled. "Because you don't have the right to do that!" The Chinese boy stared at her with angry and arrogant eyes. "Here you have to listen to me, or get out!" The female boss angrily threw the folder in her hand onto the table.In this way, this Zhengzhou boy, who was only in his twenties, was fired that day.

I remember that this incident caused quite a stir in China at that time. Almost all the media, large and small, all over the country paid varying degrees of attention. Some universities and other institutions even carried out different forms of study and seminars on this.As far as this matter itself is concerned, apart from the role of national sentiment, there are some more essential things, that is, the dignity of being a human being.The reason why that young man is admired and praised by others is because he defended the dignity of a nation and his dignity as a human being with his own words and actions.

Konosuke Matsushita once made such a discussion when training his employees: "Don't be afraid that others will look down on you, but you are afraid that you have no ambition. One must respect oneself, and then be respected by others. People should see that you are upright in your behavior. personality.” Of course, self-respect is not only about not feeling inferior, but also about not tarnishing or even losing one’s personality in one’s behavior.

Under today's social conditions, complex lifestyles, various improper temptations, and monetary and material incentives may all make this happen.A person who has no self-respect may think that he has won many things personally, but he has lost the most fundamental thing, which is himself.When it comes to the proportion of behavior, all of us have more experience.Even a small step beyond the truth is a fallacy.There are many things that are extremely subtle and delicate in expressing who you are and interacting with others.Intemperate behavior is often the beginning of small losses.Franklin said the secret to his success as a diplomat was: "Respect anyone you associate with. I will not speak of anyone's faults...I will only speak of the good points of everyone I know."

Get along with others with an equal attitude
The Jewish way of cultivating children's sense of independence may seem cruel to us, but it is absolutely sensible.It is an important reason why the Jewish nation has been in exile for a long time.

This belief in oneself is the basis for the formation of children's independent consciousness, which enables Jewish children to have the consciousness of living independently since childhood.They believe that only they can support themselves, and it is absolutely naive fantasy to rely on others to live.

Therefore, they can survive tenaciously under any conditions.They rely on their own abilities, coupled with a strong sense of survival, of course they can find a good way to make money to solve their own life problems.

And business operators, as individuals who independently control their own destiny, should first possess this rational sense of independence and survival.

This awareness also constitutes a "protective film" for Jewish businessmen to protect themselves, so that they never fall into other people's business traps.

Having independent consciousness is only the first step for you to control your own destiny, and you must also have the spirit of self-improvement.It can be said that self-reliance should be self-improvement, self-improvement promotes self-reliance, and the two complement each other.

An important reason why outstanding people can succeed is that they have the belief that they must win.There are always many people in life who complain that they are incompetent, so they are negative and mediocre, but in fact everyone has the potential for success, as Napoleon said: "There is no waste in the world, it is just misplaced." Just choose one that suits you Road, persevere, self-improvement, aggressive, you will be able to succeed.

Self-improvement is a fine tradition of the Jewish people. In the face of difficulties and setbacks, they never shrink back, and persecution and killing cannot block their way forward.From the time of the Roman Empire, the Jews were forced to leave their homeland and wandered all over the world.During the long years of exile and wandering, the characteristics, religion, language, culture, literature, tradition, calendar, customs and wisdom of the Jewish nation have not been disintegrated due to the tragic national history of more than 2000 years. They still maintain their own national characteristics and characteristics. cohesion.For thousands of years, Jewish talents have emerged in large numbers, and elites have spread all over the world.The sharp contrast between the poor situation and the outstanding achievements is the reflection of the vigorous life consciousness and the enterprising spirit of self-improvement of this nation.

It is very important to educate children first to cultivate their self-confidence and good character. A confident child must first be respected by parents and others.Self-esteem is the only way to have self-confidence. Therefore, for parents, in order for their children to have self-esteem, parents must respect their children and let their children feel the love of their parents and the pride they bring to them.

Treat people with a grateful heart

There is a saying: "If you cry a lot, you can't see the stars."

Many people don't appreciate what they have now.Xiao Wang is an international student from China. He wrote to his family and said: "Do you know that when I arrived in Europe, I yearned for the sun in Beijing!" The family was puzzled: "The sun in Beijing? Europe? Is there no sun?" He said: "I live in London, where the weather is often gloomy, and sometimes I can't see the sun for several days or even a week. I feel so depressed and depressing! This At that time, I missed walking on the streets of Beijing, the sun was shining on the earth, and I felt an indescribable comfort."

We have the love of our parents, the care of our friends, and good things, but we don't know how to cherish them, and we always complain because we are not grateful.Like many young friends, it is not easy to be admitted to university, and it is really a rare opportunity to have the opportunity to receive higher education.Of course, there are still many unsatisfactory things, but they also exist in any society. If you have a feeling of gratitude in your heart, you will cherish these things very much, and you will use them as much as possible these conditions.

In Fujisawa City, Japan, there lived a woman named Satoshiko.When she was a teenager, she longed to go to America.Most of what she knows about American life is from textbooks.

Later, Atsuko finally got his wish and went to California to study in college.However, after she arrived in the United States, she found that the country was completely different from the beautiful world she had imagined. “Everyone was struggling with problems and seemed to be stressed out a lot,” she says. “I felt very alone.” Of all the subjects, she found sports the hardest to deal with. "We played volleyball," she said. "Everyone else played well, but I couldn't."

One afternoon, the coach assigned Atsuko to be responsible for passing the ball to a teammate for a smash over the net.For most people, this is no difficulty, but Atsuko panicked.She was afraid that she would not do well and be ridiculed by others.

A male classmate noticed that she was afraid, so he walked up to her and said softly, "Don't worry. You can handle it." "You will never understand how this sentence of encouragement gave me. It's just a few Words: 'You can handle it.' I was so happy I could cry." She finally passed that class.Six years later, Atsuko was 27 years old and returned to Japan to work as a salesperson.She said: "I have never forgotten those words. Whenever I encounter difficulties, I will think of them." Atsuko now travels here and there in Japan.However, she still often remembers the simple sentence "you can handle it". She has always been grateful to this male classmate, because this sentence is really important to her.

Yes, sometimes even the simplest words can have profound consequences.There is such a saying: "A girl cried because she had no shoes, until she saw a man without feet." There are many things in the world, often we do not cherish what we have around us, and only regret when we lose it.

Gratitude is not born, it is cultivated, and many people never really feel it.Since we only pay attention to what we need, we rarely pay attention to where these things come from.Cultivate gratitude if you want to have a good life.Once, the gods of ancient Rome decided to hold a welcome party, inviting all the gods of virtue to participate.Truth, goodness, beauty, sincerity, and all the gods of virtue, big and small, were invited to attend. They lived in harmony, talked friendly, and had a great time.

But the main god Jupiter noticed that two guests avoided each other and refused to approach.The Lord God told the messenger mysterious Curry about the situation, and asked him to see what the problem was.The messenger God brought the two guests together and introduced them. "Have you two never met before?" said the Messenger of God. "No, never." One guest said, "My name is generosity." "Long admiration, long admiration!" Another guest said, "I am gratitude."

As this story reveals: Acts of generosity in life are not always rewarded with genuine gratitude.The truth is, we all depend on the contributions of others every day of our lives, it's just that few of us think about it.

The greatest tragedy in the world is a person who says without shame: "No one gave me anything!" Whether such a person is poor or rich, his soul must be poor.

Some people are insensitive to kindness, but very sensitive to resentment.Such people who are ungrateful and fond of complaining are bound to have bad luck and feel that life is full of misfortune.Such people have particularly high demands on others, and like to use their own thinking mode to regulate others, and they often become unpopular characters as a result.I complain about others all day long, but I don't know how to review myself.

This kind of person is sometimes prestige because of someone's blessing.However, because most of these people are domineering and selfish, they only know how to benefit from others, but they don't know how to give back, so they are not popular.The consequences of short-sightedness and short-sightedness often make those who help him feel disappointed and no longer support him.Most of these people are self-righteous, never consider their own responsibilities, and always think that others are plotting against him, have bad intentions for him, and want to frame him.

It is a habit to express gratitude to those who have helped us. Unfortunately, Chinese people have not been used to this way for a long time.We put it very implicitly in our hearts.Use time to brew intoxicating alcohol, once the bottle is opened, human feelings and wine fragrance will become the best aria!
Everything is difficult at the beginning, especially the creation of habits, but try to do it once or twice... You will find that it is not too difficult, the difficulty is whether you are willing to take action, so that life will no longer regret.

A person who knows how to be grateful will feel the warmth of the sun and the love between people, so that he can open his heart, spread sunshine-like warmth to others, give others light and hope, and create a new era of interpersonal interaction. value.

(End of this chapter)