Be a Strong Woman: Carnegie's Book of Spiritual Growth for Women

Chapter 17 A Well-mannered Woman Warms Her Life (3)
Many women are happy and relaxed when they meet a close friend, but they always feel cramped, nervous, and full of worries when they meet someone they have never met.

Talking face to face with someone you're meeting for the first time is not easy.Because the eyes between the two easily meet, the tension between the two increases.Therefore, before the meeting, you might as well draw up a plan to sell yourself, implement it step by step, and pay attention to the following details:

Introduce yourself by name tactfully.When meeting someone for the first time, the easiest way to let the other person remember you is to let the other person remember your name.For example, you can make a simple but easy-to-remember introduction to your name: "My surname is Wang, the king of kings, everyone is the king of their own world!"

Call the other person by name.For example, "Mr. Smith, would you like a cup of coffee?" "Mr. Smith, what do you think about this?" This way of saying the other party's name often makes the other party feel a sense of intimacy. It's like they've known each other for years.One of the reasons is that he feels that the other party has recognized him.

Remember what the other person said.Especially interests, hobbies, dreams, etc. are the most important and interesting things for the other party. Once they are brought up as topics, the other party will definitely feel very happy.When entertaining others or taking the initiative to invite others to meet, more or less information about the other party should be collected in advance.This is a kind of politeness, and it is easier to arouse the favor of others.

Don't over-disguise yourself.Don't hide yourself, show your true character to the other person.We don't want the other person to see through us and feel that it would be a bad consequence for the other person to discover their weaknesses.However, the result of this is that you restrain yourself, and it is impossible to speak freely and express freely.If you show the real side of your character to the other party, you won't have too many worries.

Sit next to each other.When you want to increase intimacy with the person you meet for the first time, it is best to avoid talking face-to-face with him, but try to sit next to him.

When meeting someone for the first time, the only way to gain the favor of others is naturally to speak cleverly.Usually those women with extensive social connections are those who are flexible in speech and can make a good impression when they meet for the first time.

Do ladies have to know etiquette?
Whether it is on the screen or in real life, it is often not the beautiful women who fascinate people, but those who are decent, elegant, well-mannered and educated.A woman who pays attention to appearance and self-cultivation will have a noble temperament, a gentle and elegant woman can exude a charming and charming atmosphere, and a polite woman can make her beauty glow with a special power, all of which are elegant, harmonious and benevolent summary.

Here are some basic social etiquette:

[-]. Introduction

The order of introduction should be to introduce young people to older people first; introduce younger people to elders first; introduce men to women to show respect for identity and gender.

[-]. Shake hands

When shaking hands, you should use your right hand, and lean forward slightly to show respect. It is advisable to keep a distance of one meter between the two parties. Use moderate force to show sincerity and enthusiasm.

When shaking hands, be enthusiastic, smile on your face, pay attention to each other's eyes, and greet each other kindly. Don't look around casually.If you have a handbag, hold it with your left hand.

[-]. Exchange business cards

You should stand, smile, look at each other, hand over the business card to the other party with both hands or right hand, thank you after accepting other people's business card, and read the business card to show politeness.

[-]. Talk

When talking, you should look at the other person's face. You should neither stare at the other person's eyes, nor rush to make eye contact with the other person.The distance between the talkers should be within two meters, which is a relatively compact and harmonious private space; beyond two meters, it is easy to distract attention and affect a good communication atmosphere.Don't interrupt the other person's conversation at will during the conversation.

[-]. Telephone

The phone is an invisible way of interpersonal communication, and language is the only charm. Usually, the phone should be answered quickly after the second ring. If the ring exceeds four rings, you should take the initiative to apologize to the other party.There is an unwritten rule in the West that phone calls should be avoided in the early morning, around [-] o'clock in the evening, and during meal times. When answering the phone, you should avoid talking, laughing, eating, or dealing with other things. illustrate.

[-]. Visit

It is important to avoid visiting without an appointment, and try to avoid missing appointments during meal or rest time for some reason, and be sure to notify the other party in advance.For private visits at home, especially when you are invited to dinner, you should bring flowers, wine and other special gifts.

In the client's home, the house cannot be visited without an invitation.Even if you are familiar with it, don't touch and play with the things on the customer's table, let alone play with the customer's business card, and don't touch the books, flowers and other furnishings in the room.

[-]. Reception

When a guest visits for the first time, he usually has a sense of formality and unfamiliarity. Be sure to introduce the guests to the relevant people present one by one, and take the initiative to introduce the facilities that the guests may need, such as toilets.Don't always look at your watch when entertaining guests, as it will give guests the illusion that they are eager to see them off.

When receiving customers at work, you should nod and smile as a salute. If you do not make an appointment in advance, you should first apologize to the customer and then explain your intention.Receiving guests should be enthusiastic and proactive, and it is most important to understand his needs in a timely manner.

Eight, ride

The riding posture is full of strong dynamics, which can best express the elegant demeanor of women, and is also the easiest to expose problems. When riding in a car, you should not crawl in with your buttocks up, but let your buttocks sit in the position first, and then retract your legs together in the car, and maintain a folded posture.The seat diagonally behind the driver is the most honorable, and the seat next to the driver is usually reserved for subordinates or staff.There is a situation that should be noted that when your husband or wife or lovers are driving, you must sit in the front row with him (her).After the ride, you have to clean the seats and take away the used waste from the ride.

[-]. Dining

Eat only during mealtimes, pay attention to your meal manners, move lightly, try not to make loud noises, pay attention to environmental hygiene after meals, wipe the tabletop clean, and throw the lunch box into the covered garbage away from the workplace immediately bucket.

[-]. Modification

Wash, comb, and trim hair frequently to keep it hygienic and beautiful; apply light makeup to show an elegant, happy, and confident demeanor; dress decently and generously, and do not wear "thin, transparent, or revealing" clothing, and pay attention to harmonious colors Elegant; pay attention to oral hygiene, take a bath frequently, and cut nails.

Women who pay attention to etiquette will show a distinctive demeanor and will be respected by others.Even if your appearance is not the most attractive, your graceful demeanor, fashionable hairstyle, decent clothing, elegant manners, and good speech will also fascinate people.

How much you have, how much you have
There will be people with various personalities around us, because these people have different ways of dealing with the world and others, so maintaining a good interpersonal atmosphere requires self-cultivation.

Without further argument, as a sane person, especially a person who hopes to gradually improve his personality, he always needs a little grace.Generosity is one of the important yardsticks to measure a person's maturity and self-cultivation.

The manager of an important department of the company was about to resign, and the chairman decided to find someone with both ability and political integrity to take over the position, but several people who applied for the job in succession failed to pass the "examination" of the chairman.

One day, a doctor in his 30s came to apply for the job, but the chairman told him to go to his home for an exam at [-]:[-] a.m. The young man went to ring the doorbell of the chairman’s house at [-]:[-] a.m., but no one answered the door. The chairman didn't let him in until eight o'clock.

The topic of the test was dictated by the chairman. The chairman asked him: "Can you write?" After finishing writing, he couldn’t wait for the next question, so he asked suspiciously: “Is that all?” The chairman looked at him quietly and replied: “Yes! The exam is over!”

Young people find it very strange, what kind of exam is this?The next day, the chairman went to the board of directors and announced that the young man had passed the exam, and it was a rigorous one.

He explained: "For such a young doctor, his intelligence and knowledge must not be a problem, so I take other exams that are more difficult." He continued, "First of all, I will test his spirit of sacrifice. I came to take the company's exam at one o'clock, and he did it; I asked him to wait for five hours, and he did it; ;Finally, I tested his humility. I only tested the words that a five-year-old child with a Ph. D. can write, and he was willing to write. A person who has a Ph. A person with both ability and political integrity, what else can I find fault with? I decided to appoint him!"

Temperament determines a person's height.Only a person with tolerance can achieve something, otherwise his future achievements will be limited.

A broad-minded person, in the face of sharp criticism, can do it without glaring and furious. "Shangshu" said: "One must have tolerance and generosity, and then morality will be broad; one must be able to endure humiliation, and then things can be done well." Immediately feel angry, this is not only uncultivated, but also shallow blessing.

The first hurdle a woman has to pass after marriage: Tolerance
Women in love, no matter how they get to know each other, are full of beautiful longings for married life.Because of admiration, women tend to see more advantages in men and fewer shortcomings in men, and even regard some shortcomings as advantages.

After marriage, the husband and wife get along with each other day and night, and the overall understanding of each other is greatly increased. Some aspects that were impossible to understand before, such as eating habits, sleeping habits, emotions under certain conditions, physical and living characteristics, etc. are suddenly revealed.Therefore, the shortcomings and weaknesses of men are gradually fully exposed.

How to treat these shortcomings of men that are only discovered after marriage, this is the first hurdle that women have to pass after marriage.If this problem is not handled well, it will be impossible to maintain and enhance the relationship between husband and wife.

A woman with a mature personality can correctly handle the relationship between the two parties.They are usually tolerant of man's shortcomings, able to make concessions, and even make some sacrifices.Because they know that people in the world have various personalities, and they cannot force men to have exactly the same thoughts and attitudes as women.

There is always a certain distance between imaginary things and real life. The only way is to adapt to reality and not be demanding on the other party.The so-called non-demanding means that if the other party is only lacking in personality, temper, hobbies, cultural literacy, etc., then you should not be too fussy.

There are no perfect men in the world - just as women are not perfect.We should calmly analyze the shortcomings that a man presents in his married life and help him overcome them patiently.You can't quarrel all day long, which is not conducive to the cultivation of the relationship between husband and wife; you can't consciously "reform" each other, such efforts will fail in all likelihood.Only through the subtle influence of married life can a man's personality change naturally.

Of course, if a man makes a principled mistake, he should stick to the principle, make no concessions, criticize it seriously, and resolutely stop it.If a man has become irredeemable, he should resolutely draw a line.

It is impossible for a person to have no shortcomings, even after marriage, it is normal to find that a man has many shortcomings.For these shortcomings, as long as they are not principled, you should not be too accusatory and demanding, and you must learn to tolerate the shortcomings of men.

(End of this chapter)