Rebirth after waste

Chapter 157

On the day Gu Yunxian left the palace for Maoshan, Ji Xun suffered another headache.

He was lying on the bed, his face was pale, bead-sized beads of sweat dripped down his face, and his veins bulged, driving him almost crazy.

Lu Chuan was so frightened by his reaction that his face was so pale that he could compete with him.He stood by the couch and kept persuading: "Your Majesty, I beg you, let the imperial doctor come and give you a trocar... There is no way for you to suffer like this... You just..."

He squeezed out a sentence between his teeth, "Shut up." Then he couldn't speak again.

Lu Chuan naturally knew what he was thinking. Acupuncture by the imperial doctor could only relieve the pain, but could not help the condition in any practical sense.The emperor had just sent the empress away today, and there was no way to relieve the depression in his heart, so he simply let the pain torment him.

Apart from this, he couldn't find any other way to vent his sorrow.

This time the pain lasted for too long, Ji Xun felt that his consciousness became blurred, and many things began to flash in his mind.

He remembered that at the end of last year, he saw the article that scolded him bloody, and his headache recurred.At that time, I thought it was the same minor ailment as before, but three days later, I would faint from the pain.

After waking up, he leaned tiredly on the bed, surrounded by the terrified imperial physician Baishi, "Your Majesty's headache has been around for a long time, and I have never been able to find out the source. It was just a minor problem before, and it was only a matter of time to give a set of needles." It’s all right. I haven’t had it for many years, I thought it was cured, but who would have thought it would be menacing when it happened again…”

He interrupted his incoherent speech, and calmly said: "So, what happened?"

Baishi suddenly knelt down, kowtowed heavily, his whole body trembling like chaff, "I am incompetent, I can't cure this stubborn disease, please Your Majesty call the other three imperial doctors to consult together, maybe... there will be a solution!"

His heart sank suddenly.

Baishi has been an imperial physician for many years, so he naturally knows that the imperial court should avoid taboos and speak auspiciously.Now that he said this, the omen was already very bad.

Perhaps, this headache that has plagued him for many years will really kill him...

He was prepared in his heart, so when the four imperial doctors gathered together and discussed for a long time, they finally knelt in front of him to confess their crimes, he was not too surprised.

There is only the powerlessness that is too thick to dissolve.

He waved his hand to signal them to leave, and he sat alone in the hall, staring at the thick pile of memorials on the table in a daze.

He always knew that he was going to die one day, but he didn't expect this day to come so suddenly.His long-cherished wish has just been realized, and it is the time when he is ambitious, but it is coming to an end.Unprepared, he even sighed in his heart, fortunately he acted quickly and implemented the new policy early, otherwise he would have died before his ambition was fulfilled, and he was so unwilling to close his eyes before he closed his eyes.

It's just that this room has not finished feeling, but another face flashed in front of my eyes.Pure and indifferent, with a hint of coldness, just like the snow lotus growing on the Tianshan Mountains, it has to go through all kinds of difficulties and dangers to hold it in your hands.

He spent five years waiting for this snow lotus, and just saw a little sign of blooming, but was told that he had to leave.

He couldn't keep waiting for her.

He ordered the four imperial physicians and a few palace officials who knew the inside story to keep the matter a secret, and then he did not see Gu Yunxian for half a month on the grounds of contracting a cold.He knew that Lu Chuan was very confused by his behavior, but he didn't have the energy to explain it to him.

He didn't dare to see her, because he was afraid that seeing that familiar face would make him feel a lot of reluctance, and he was afraid that he would show fear in the face of death.

He was afraid that she would be sad for him when she found out, and even more afraid that she would not be sad.

He never knew that he was such a timid and cautious person, and he was so useless in this kind of thing.

How long can it last?She will always know.

However, what he didn't expect was that before he made a choice, God gave him a big gift first.

On New Year's Eve, next to the Qing'an Hall, under the cold moon, he watched his trusted courtier hold his wife's hand, and his words were full of endless lovesickness.With tears in her eyes, she asked regretfully, "Why? Why are we one step late?"

Huanjun Mingzhu tears down and hates not meeting when she is not married.

When he heard this poem before, he still sighed for this kind of feeling that there is no fate, but now he just feels sad.

Obviously that woman's husband is the one she wants to spend the rest of her life with, but he can only become an outsider during this period of love.The world only sees the deep affection between men and women in the poem, but his thoughts are not important at all.

He felt a sharp pain in his head again, and he could imagine that his face must have turned pale.

That night when he returned to the Dazheng Palace, he was tortured by uninterrupted headaches until he fainted before he entered the inner hall.

The moment he fell down, he thought in his heart, it seems that God also thinks that he has been too smooth in the past few years, so he arranged so many tests for him before he died.

He finally figured everything out.The matter has come to this point, he can't change it, he can only try his best to arrange everything after that.

The New Deal he had devoted half his life to implement had just entered the right track. If he failed to continue at this time, he might be counterattacked by the old forces immediately.There are also Yunniang and Ahuan, the king is young, and Yunniang seldom interferes in court affairs, so it is impossible to expect her to assist Ahuan.Besides, when a woman intervenes in politics, it is always easy to cause trouble in the end. He doesn't want her to bear the infamy of future generations.He had to find a trustworthy support for them.

Even though he was unwilling to admit it, his rationality told him that Cui Shuo was the most suitable candidate.

He summoned Cui Shuo, and pressed the sword to his neck expressionlessly.

Cui Shuo said to him: "It's my wishful thinking, thinking about the empress that I shouldn't have.

"But I hope His Majesty believes that the Empress is innocent.

"Please don't take your anger on her because of my fault..."

At that moment, he sneered directly from the bottom of his heart.

He wanted to ask him, "Who do you think you are? Do you think you can protect her with your own life? Or do you think I will hurt her because there is a man secretly yearning for her? You are too I look down on myself, but I look down on me too.

"Could it be that you really think that you are the only one in this world who loves Yunniang wholeheartedly, and no one else can compare to you?"

But he didn't say these words, he pretended to be angry with Yunniang, and made the bet with him.After planning people's hearts for many years, he naturally knows how to force out a person's truest feelings.

He intentionally gave Cui Shuo two choices.It is only because he understands that if there is no retreat, death is not so terrible, but he is willing to do his best to find his own death when he clearly has a chance to survive, which can truly explain his intentions.

When playing that match, he wished for a moment that Cui Shuo could lose.Although he had to start over if he lost his plan, at least he could tell himself that Cui Shuo didn't care about Yunniang as much as he made out.He is also afraid of death, and he once gave up on her.

But he won.

Forced himself to fall off the horse, endured the severe pain in his foot and snatched the colored ball from under his stick.

When the ball hit his goal, he seemed to see her and followed her away.

Cui Shuo passed his test, so he had to carry out the following things according to the initial plan.

He will die soon, and she will become the queen mother, and Cui Shuo will inherit their common aspirations, guarding the New Deal, guarding thousands of miles of rivers and mountains, and guarding her.

What will become of them, he will never know.

Taking one last look at her, he left the polo field without looking back.

His married wife, whom he missed so much, had truly left him from this moment on.

He hadn't expected her to come to him again.He was lying on the imperial concubine's couch in Hanzhang Hall, admiring the sunset outside like her, and the way she used to lean in his arms with a smile flashed in his mind.

Although the scenery remains the same, the people are no longer there.

As he drank one glass after another, his consciousness gradually became confused, and he saw a slender figure standing in front of him in a trance.

The familiar eyebrows, the familiar breath, is the shadow that he can't catch in his midnight dream.

A smile curled up on his lips, he thought, even God had pity on him, so he gave him such a nightmare.

But it wasn't a nightmare.

He couldn't describe the joy he felt when he woke up from his sleep and saw her lying docilely in his arms.This charming scene happened after he thought he had completely lost her, and it was even more like a gift from God.

He was a traveler who stumbled and fell off the cliff, and she was a flower tree growing on the cliff, giving him the last memory worth recalling before he fell to pieces.

Unfortunately, he still had to send her away.

Although he didn't know why she came here at the time, he roughly knew it in his heart.Now that the situation is so complicated, she is probably afraid that he will punish Cui Shuo or anger Ah Huan because of this matter, so she came to ask everyone for a way out.Later, Fan Su told him that she had told the Queen about the past five years, and he felt that she might have been moved by him.But no matter which one, it was not the result he had expected.

He wanted her sincerity, wanted her to fall in love with him wholeheartedly.It was a long wait, and he thought he had enough time to wait until the end, but God didn't give him a chance.That being the case, why drag her to suffer with him?
She may feel a little bit about herself now, but it's just a resignation of being moved and having to spend the rest of her life with him.After he left, she was the most honorable woman in the whole world, and she could live any kind of life she wanted.That vague feeling will soon disappear from her heart.

Well, let her go.He faced the last days alone, took care of everything, and left her and Ah Huan a future with peace of mind.

This process was too painful. If she was by his side all day, he was afraid that he would not be able to concentrate, and he was even more afraid that he would say weak words if he was not careful.He was afraid of pleading, begging her not to forget him, begging her not to be with anyone else.He has always been selfish, and this is the only time he has dedicated himself, and it is not easy to persevere.

In the third month after Gu Yunxian left, Shen Zhuyang and Bo Xiwei were thrown into Yongxiang by him.The two women knelt in front of him in embarrassment, weeping and begging for mercy.He turned and left expressionlessly, not wanting to listen to their excuses.

After returning to Dazheng Palace, he held the gold hairpin for a long time, finally sighed softly, took out a volume of Buddhist scriptures and began to transcribe.

During the five years when she left, he once wandered around the Jiaofang Hall and accidentally saw Buddhist scriptures that filled half the room.He knew that most of it was left by the queen mother, so he couldn't help but stop and look through it.

He didn't believe in these things at first.Zibu said strange powers and confused spirits. He was a person who read the books of sages, so he naturally felt that the theory of ghosts and gods was false.But since he experienced such a miraculous thing, his concept has changed.Just as she had grown from being a spectator to being devout, he gradually became convinced of it.

Think of it as finding a religion for himself, he convinced himself, and began to transcribe the scriptures, just like she had done.

Originally thought that this could accumulate virtue for each other, and at the worst, it could resolve sins.But he didn't expect that five years later, there would be a thunderbolt from the blue sky, and he would suffer from a chronic disease and die soon.God's will really tricks people.

Fortunately, now he has learned not to blame.

Since you can't accumulate virtue for this life, let's consider it for the next life.Maybe God saw him pious, and was willing to give them a chance to see each other again in the next life, so that they would not end up in the fate of "going up to the poor and falling to the bottom of the world, and the two places are lost".

Sometimes he would also think about why he fell in love with her in this life.Could it be that he was really just trapped in her beauty schemes and couldn't extricate himself?
He still remembered that in his previous life, he had never been tempted by her until the end.Even after she died, he knew the truth and realized that he had wronged her, but he only felt a little guilty.At that time, he grieved over the death of his mother and hated Jing Fushu to the extreme.When she was in Changle Palace, she tried to commit suicide in front of him, and the dagger pierced her chest, but he insisted on saving her.He let her drag her half-dead body through all kinds of tortures. He had no choice but to seek death. He didn't kill her until she lost her human form. Afterwards, he whipped her dead body and razed the three clans of the Jing family. .But when he did those things, he only thought about avenging his mother, and didn't think much about Yunniang at all.It was the second year of Laba, when he was drinking Laba porridge, he suddenly remembered that today was her death day.

But so what?He just sighed and put the matter behind him.

He used to be so ruthless to her, but now he has exhausted his efforts for her, and everything is upside down.The person who didn't care was replaced by her, and the person who didn't care was replaced by her, but he was a persistent idiot, willing to live and die for her.

Therefore, the self in this life is really to pay off the debt.

God made him fall in love with her just to repay everything he owed her.

His headaches got worse and worse, especially at night.He often sat alone in the empty hall, reviewing the memorials in his hand one after another.There is too little time and too many things, he feels like he is racing against life, and he is in a hurry.Many times, he suddenly fell ill while reviewing memorials.The Langhao brush dipped in cinnabar fell on the rice paper, and it was dyed a bright red.And he was lying on the desk in pain, but he was glad in his heart that she didn't see him like this.

She is such a soft-hearted person, she will be very sad to see herself like this, and maybe she will cry in a place where others can't see.

He had already made her cry too many times to make her cry at the end.

This is the oath he made, but he failed to keep it.

That night he woke up from his dream, and his longing for her was suddenly so strong that he couldn't stop it.He endured it all night, and when the sun rose, he suddenly remembered the agreement they had made to watch the sunrise together, and finally succumbed to his obsession.

He sent someone to pick her up, and sat under the peach grove to wait for her.

At that moment, he felt as if he had returned to many years ago.He is a flirtatious young gentleman, standing under the peach blossom tree waiting for the beautiful woman to make an appointment.

As soon as the idea came up, he laughed at himself.

They are the orders of their parents and the words of the matchmaker, and there has never been any agreement under the peach blossom tree.Everything is just his imagination.

That's all, that's all.Anyway, this life has come to an end, just imagine it.He raised his head, pretending that there was a tree full of flowers, pink and white, with a little lovesickness, and the beautiful woman he was waiting for was on his way.

She must come quickly, if it is late, he will have no time.

The breeze blows, and a few leaves fall.He stretched out his hand to catch it, thinking in a trance that his hand was a bright red peach petal.

Familiar footsteps came from behind him, and the corners of his lips curled up into a sincere smile.

The petals were so bright red that it reminded him of the dream he had last night.It wasn't a nightmare, it was a wonderful dream.On their wedding night, in a fiery red house, he smiled and recited fan poems one after another, while she removed the fan that covered her face little by little, revealing her beautifully made-up face.She is so beautiful, her bright red lips are more dazzling than the newly ground cinnabar.He liked it, so when he drank the wine, he stared into her eyes with a smile, and teased in a low voice: "Madam has an extraordinary complexion, I'm really lucky."

She fell in love with him once, it was his good fortune; she married him in this life, it was his good fortune; she came back to him at the last moment, it was his good fortune.

(End of this chapter)