The Writing Weapons McKinsey Taught Me: From Logical Thinking to Copywriting
Chapter 3 Writing Fluid and Powerful Copy
Chapter 3 Writing Fluid and Powerful Copy
—— Subject, conjunction, concreteness, three key points
2.2 The article is completed in one go, which is logical thinking
If you underestimate the conjunctions, your thinking becomes a mess
As mentioned earlier, "fuzzy" is because we omit the subject, which makes the connection between information and information blurred.In business copywriting, news reports, conversations and other communication media, we often see some unclear conjunctions.These conjunctions are expressions that connect multiple possible interpretations of the subject.
Ambiguous connectives, which fail to clearly connect multiple pieces of information, are the single biggest obstacle to getting the right message across.If the relationship between each piece of information is ambiguous, then of course the relationship between the context and the gist will also become ambiguous.Therefore, in order to convey the correct meaning, we should try our best to use logical connectives correctly to clearly show the relationship between information and information.
When I think about logical connectives, I can't help feeling that the often-heard statement "Japanese is a vague language" isn't true.The reason is that it is not the expression of the Japanese language that makes people feel vague, but the problem of the users themselves is relatively large.If the essence of the Japanese language is ambiguity, doesn't that mean that as long as you use Japanese, you will never be able to express clearly?In logical expression, the clarity of information can only depend on the user's expression, and its influence is greater than the language itself.
The same goes for applying logic to the subject.It is not that there is no concept of subject in Japanese, but that users are not used to being aware of the actor, that is, the subject.On the contrary, everyone says that English is a clear language, but as long as too many "but" and "and" are used in a row, the meaning of the sentence is also vague.In other words, whether a sentence is expressed clearly or not, it is ultimately returned to the language user itself.
Please make more use of the "Takasugi Logical Connective Vocabulary" I compiled (Figure 2-1).Now, many enterprises adopt this logical connective vocabulary.However, it is not the final version, it can be regarded as an introductory guide at best, and the comprehensiveness of the content is not enough, and more logical conjunctions need to be added.
Situation [-]: Do you want to "add" explanation, or "reduce" cause and effect?
Situation [-]: Due to the sluggish market, various enterprises began to run into difficulties, and the housing prices continued to fall.
There is a vague semantic cohesion in this sentence. What is the relationship between the two messages of "in trouble" and "market decline"?Does it represent a loosely related additional information, or does it represent a tightly linked causal relationship?People who read it for the first time will not have an idea, and the transmitter of the information (you) has to guide him.
If you want to express an "additional" explanation (further than the previous information), it should be changed to "due to the market downturn, various companies have begun to suffer, not only that, but the housing market has also continued to fall." It would be better.There are many other conjunctions that express additional mood, such as "in addition to this", "and" and so on.
If you want to split it into two sentences to explain, you can change the sentence to: "Due to the market downturn, various companies have begun to suffer. Moreover, the housing market has also continued to fall." In addition to "and", you can also use "and", " also".If you want to express emphasis, there are many options, such as "especially", "at the same time", "especially" and so on.
If you want to express a causal relationship, you can use the "reason" conjunction with the effect before the cause, or vice versa, use the "result" conjunction with the cause before the effect.
If the inductive conjunction is used, the sentence will be like this: "Because of the downturn in the market, various companies have begun to suffer, so the housing market continues to fall." Among them, the reason "Each enterprise has begun to suffer" supports the conclusion "So the housing market The market continued to fall."In terms of descriptive conjunctions, you can generally use "so" and so on.In addition, just like the conjunctions for additional explanations, the inductive cohesion can also be split into two sentences for explanation.For example, "Because of the sluggish market, companies began to struggle. As a result, housing prices continued to fall."
Situation [-]: Do you want to "add" explanation, or emphasize "means"?
Situation [-]: It is an effective way to reduce the obligations imposed on countries and implement emission trading.
From the perspective of the context, the following sentences can be connected with the "additional" conjunction or the "means" conjunction. (It depends on what kind of meaning you want to express) If it is an additional meaning, it should be changed to the same sentence pattern as in situation [-]: "It is an effective way to reduce the obligations imposed on countries and promote emission trading."" And" is just one of the additional terms, you can also use "and".
If "reducing the obligations imposed on countries" is a means, then its purpose is to "promote emission trading", and at this time, the conjunction "means" should be used to connect. "It is an effective way to facilitate emissions trading (with the aim of) reducing the obligations imposed on countries."
The problem is not the correct interpretation of this sentence (whether the two are in an additional relationship or a means relationship) because we do not have enough materials to judge, and my original intention is not to ask everyone to find the correct conjunction of this sentence.The purpose of the above attempts is how to express the clear relationship between information and information by means of conjunctions.
Advertisement copy can only be powerful after being polished like this
The following ad copy was published on the website of a certain newspaper, from which we can find several places where there are "fuzzy cohesion", including the part that is not a conjunction.Let's analyze and polish it together. I will mark the places where conjunctions should be added.
High-performance microwave oven for ×× household appliances
××家电的 “石窑微波烤箱 DT-C400”将于 9月 1号开始销售！（1）短时间达到适合烹调的温度，烹调时食材美味不流失。（2），（3）配备高功率的加热器和风扇，烤箱内的热量供给比旧机型提升36%。（4）达到使用频率最高的摄氏 200℃左右的温度，时间仅约5分钟。（5）比旧有机型快3分钟。
（6）烤箱烹调和超高温水蒸气烹调的最高温度，各为 350℃和400℃。（7）比旧机型各提高50℃。（8）可缩短烹调时间。（9）配备新功能水蒸气烹调，能配合食材让温度适当保持在 35~95℃之间。（10）可烤出三分熟和五分熟等不同熟度的牛排。（11）减少因加热而流失的维他命。
(12) There are two colors of gold and silver to choose from. (13) OPEN PRICE. (14) However, the actual selling price in the store is expected to be about [-] yen.
Difficult to read copy, huh?Now let's check one by one:
What kind of context should the place in (1) express?Doesn't look like a simple append. The relationship between "reaching a temperature suitable for cooking in a short time" and "food without loss of flavor" seems to be quite close.Assuming that the former is the reason, then the latter is the result, and they are causative relations.Therefore, one of the ways to improve is to "reach the temperature suitable for cooking in a short time, so (or "therefore") the deliciousness of the ingredients will not be lost during cooking."
However, there is another possibility, the former is the means, the latter is the purpose, so it will become: "By reaching the temperature suitable for cooking in a short time, the delicious food will not be lost during cooking."
The causal relationship and the means relationship seem very similar, what is the difference?The difference lies in whether it reflects the actor's "intent".For example, "He pressed the switch, so the air conditioner turned on" indicates a causal relationship.The switch is pressed, so the air conditioner starts to work, the cause and effect relationship is very simple, we don't feel his active intention to turn on the air conditioner.The predicate here is the intransitive verb "open".If the sentence is changed to "he turned on the air conditioner by pressing the switch", it is obvious that there is an intention to emphasize the actor.Therefore, this sentence presents a means relationship, and the predicate uses the causative verb "let...open".
Going back to the original text, the purpose of developing microwave ovens for ×× household appliances is to keep consumers from losing the deliciousness of ingredients when cooking. I infer that this is the relationship between means and purpose (the discussion here is limited to inserting conjunctions, let’s not discuss the copywriting first. How to write it concisely will be explained in the following chapters).
The second half of the first paragraph seems to explain how the microwave oven reaches the appropriate temperature in a short time, so in order to make the context of (2) clearer, "how to reach the appropriate temperature in a short time" should be added .But this sentence is too long, just add the explanatory conjunctions "specifically" and "that is to say" directly.
The place in (3) is also vague, readers should have discovered that this is the relationship between means and purpose, so it should be changed to: "Because of the high-power heater and fan, the heat supply in the oven is 36% higher than that of the old model. "
(4) The local tone is not cohesive, but from the two sentences "the heat supply in the oven is 36% higher than that of the old model" and "reaching the highest frequency of use at about 200°C, the time is only about 5 minutes", we can see relationship with each other.Since the former is the cause of the latter, and the latter is the result of the former, the two are in a causal relationship.Therefore, "therefore" can be added in place of (4).
In (5), "only about 5 minutes" and the following "3 minutes faster than the old model" should belong to the attributed relationship, such as "because it only takes about 5 minutes", "because it only takes about 5 minutes" and so on.But in this way, the attributed relationship appears too many times in the place of connection, so we can use "3 minutes faster than the old model" as a modifier, and move it before "only about 5 minutes" to "reach In the temperature zone of around 200°C, the time is only about 3 minutes faster than that of the old model by 5 minutes.”Changed to this, the "fast 3 minutes" that I hope to emphasize in the original text can also be fully conveyed.
The second paragraph is an additional description of the selling point of the first paragraph "the ingredients are delicious and not lost during cooking", which is the advantage of this microwave oven.So in place of (6), you can add an additional conjunction: "other advantages are like".
In the place of (7), the information that 350°C and 400°C are increased by 50°C is explained, but there is no subject.In fact, changing the period in front of (7) to a comma will make the tone coherent.
(8) It is a typical vague tone, and it should be expressed with inductive conjunctions: "It is 50 ℃ higher than the old model, so the cooking time can be shortened." Of course, if you want to change it to "so", "result ", "So" and other conjunctions are also acceptable.
The back of (9) is introducing different advantages from the front, so put an additional conjunction "not only that".If it is said that "the function of properly maintaining the temperature" can "grill steaks of different degrees" and "reduce the loss of vitamins due to heating", then (10) is the causal relationship (plus "therefore", "so", "result ").In addition, (11) directly connects the preceding "grilling steaks of different degrees" and the following "reducing vitamins lost due to heating", so additional conjunctions such as "simultaneously" and "and" should be inserted.
There are so many options in the last paragraph, and information about the price, it doesn't seem like a good point.At this time, if the additional information in (12) is of low importance, you can use explanatory conjunctions such as "by the way". (13) is also additional information, you can add the additional conjunction "and", or omit it like the original text, because there is not much relationship between color and price.
(14) The word "but" in "...the price is open, but..." should mean "turning point". , The store can sell as much as it wants, but from the wholesale price to the retail profit of the store, if you calculate it all the way, (who) estimates that the actual selling price in the store is around [-] yen."
It should be noted that after using the word "but", who will predict that the actual selling price in the store is [-] yen?Is it a manufacturer of ×× home appliances, a retail store, or a reporter from a newspaper?No matter who made the forecast, changing it to "but generally expected" can definitely stop the receiver's questioning.
Finally, let's reconfirm the retouched result:
The "Stone Kiln Microwave Oven DT-C400" of ×× Home Appliances will go on sale on September 9st! (1) By reaching the temperature suitable for cooking in a short time, the delicious food will not be lost during cooking. (1) Specifically, due to (2) equipped with a high-power heater and fan, the heat supply in the oven is increased by 3% compared with the old model, (36) Therefore, it reaches a temperature of about 4°C, which is the most frequently used, Time (200) is 5 minutes faster than the old model, only about 3 minutes.
其他优点像是（6）烤箱烹调和过热水蒸气烹调的最高温度各为 350℃和400℃，（7）比旧有机型各提高50℃，（8）因此可缩短烹调时间。（9）另外，配备新功能水蒸气烹调，能配合食材让温度适当保持在 35~95℃之间。因此（10）可烤出三分熟和五分熟等不同熟度的牛排，（11）以及减少因加热流失的维他命。
(12) By the way, there are two options of gold and silver. (13) The price is open, but it is generally expected that (14) the actual selling price in the store is around [-] yen.
The key points are all written, but why can't I read it?
Because vague sentences are easy to use, the writer does not need to think about the context of the entire message, just arrange the sentences and write all the way, which is really convenient.Anyway, they are all talking about the same thing, the same product, and related sentences can always be followed, and at first glance, there seems to be a thread to follow.
For a writer, there is nothing easier than writing an article like this, so I can't help but do it.In fact, when I am tired, I will unknowingly use too many vague sentences with unclear meanings before and after, but the reader will be miserable.
Fuzzy connections harm people's minds
Just like the ad copy you just saw, arranging information in a series of vaguely related sentences can't connect the meaning at all.Perhaps, the purpose of the writer is really like this.However, when you all use ambiguous sentences to connect meanings, sorry, you can't clearly express the connection between the information, and the information is of course difficult to convey to the other party.Presumably all recipients, after a quick scan of this kind of article, will half-understand it, or think "what the hell is this talking about..." and let it go.
Even if sometimes the information is successfully conveyed to the other party, it is just luck, or the other party is very smart and can convert the fuzzy connection into a logical connection, just like what we did just now.But how many receivers are willing to do the hassle?
Fuzzy sentence connection will cause a great burden on the receiver, and it is also an irresponsible behavior of the information transmitter.
Conjunctions are the soul of "smoothness" in an article
When recipients feel "this copy is hard to understand", there may be several reasons.First of all, you can start thinking from the larger question of "what is the original purpose of this copy?"For example, what the copywriting ultimately wants to convey is "descriptive information", "evaluation information" to judge the pros and cons of something, or "normative information" to propose a specific action?In other words, if the type of information is ambiguous, it is impossible for the user to understand the information at a macro level.
Secondly, sometimes the problem lies in the parts that make up the article, that is, individual information, which means that the other party has difficulties in understanding at the micro level.
Sometimes the other party has a general understanding of the macro and micro meanings, that is to say, each part can be understood separately, but it is still difficult to understand after reading the entire article, then the problem at this time should be that the article is not "fluent".
We are often asked to "write articles smoothly".In fact, "smoothness" is specifically based on logical connectives, because the so-called "smoothness" refers to the contextual relationship between each piece of information.Whether the article is smooth or not depends on whether you can clearly convey the context of each piece of information to the other party.
Logical connection to reduce the burden on the receiver
There are multiple levels of relationships between each piece of information.Generally speaking, if it is a business copy, it is usually composed of several "chapters" because of its long length, and the information between chapters must be related.Chapter information is key information in the pyramid structure.I will explain in detail what a pyramid structure is in the next chapter.The key information and the cohesive relationship between the key information become the grand story unfolded by the entire copy.
Chapters are made up of multiple "sections", and the information between each section must have a relationship.Each segment is a secondary level of information in the pyramid structure.A segment is composed of multiple sentences (a sentence is information, the smallest unit that constitutes a copy), so the level of segmentation occurs in the relationship between sentences.In terms of a pyramid structure, the relationship between chapters and the relationship between sections is a horizontal relationship in the same level.
In addition, there is not only a relationship between the information of the entire copy and chapter information, but also between chapter information and segment information, and even between segment information and individual sentences.In terms of pyramid structure, they form a vertical relationship of different levels up and down.
All in all, no matter what level it is at, it will be related to other information.These relationships are expressed by logical connectives.The process of thinking about how to add logical connections is itself a kind of logical thinking.
Making a smooth copy is actually the job of connecting sentences clearly.Using logic to connect can make the relationship between information clear and reduce the burden on the receiver.why?Because the receiver can understand the content without having to work hard to clarify the context.As long as logical connectives are used correctly, the relationship between contexts can be easily understood by the reader.For example, as long as "therefore" appears, the other party immediately knows that you want to make a conclusion based on the previous basis.If you use vague cohesion, the other party will not be able to determine whether you want to express addition or conclusion, resulting in a burden of understanding.
If you use "Borrowing...", then almost no need to think, the other party will immediately think that you will talk about the means before and the purpose later.If you use a vague cohesion method, the other party does not know whether you want to express additional information or express your purpose, so you can only continue to read and infer from the context.
All in all, the basic requirement of logical expressiveness is to try not to cause a burden on the receiver.
Articles written without moving your head, you can tell
Reducing the burden on the recipient means increasing the burden on the sender.Why do you say that?Because if you want to make a proper logical connection, you must have a deep understanding of the content of the transfer.If the transmitter has only a half-knowledge of the content, it is difficult to grasp the context of the information.That is to say, in the work of properly adding logical cohesion, the writer must fill in the content.And this job forces the sender to use their brains to think.
In fact, it is the responsibility of the transmitter to do a good job in logical connection.The ultimate purpose of communication is to make the other party understand our intentions.If everything depends on the recipient's spontaneous interpretation and creates a burden for the other party, this is definitely not a good strategy.Remember, it is the sender's responsibility to connect the information clearly.
"Use logical cohesion? Will this make the article stiff?" This is a question I am often asked when I promote logical cohesion.The answer is "absolutely not!" Because the article will not become rigid, but will become clearer.
I guess people who ask this kind of question are used to using fuzzy cohesion (because it can complete the article without thinking).For people who have learned logical cohesion, when they see articles with vague cohesion, they will think: "What the hell are you writing about? There are breathless sentences everywhere, and the theme is unclear. This is a metabolic abnormality at all. article!"
Some people once asked me: "But in my impression, daily conversations are connected with logic, which seems too blunt..." The answer is still the same: "No such thing!" Because it is not blunt, but more clear .
Yes, if you speak in the same tone as in the army, loudly emphasizing the cohesive conjunctions "because!", "so!", "and!" will indeed make the listener feel stiff.However, this impression is conveyed by the tone of the speaker, not the original attribute of logical connection.When you deliberately lengthen, pause, and emphasize, the result will be like a player swearing, with a long tail and a rather unnatural tone.
Please understand that the flexible use of logical connectives and the expression of a person's speaking tone are two different things, and they are independent variables.It is necessary to softly integrate logically connected conjunctions into the conversation, so that the preface and the afterword are coherent.
Reading newspapers can practice logical thinking
By using logical cohesion, you are practicing your logical thinking skills.To hone this skill, the most important thing is to rely on usual accumulation. I suggest that everyone do exercises from newspapers.
I don't know whether to say luck or misfortune. Newspapers are a treasure trove of vague connections, and it can be said to be a carnival of "unintelligible sentence combinations".When reading the newspaper every morning, try to find out the ambiguity of the three sentence cohesion, and convert it into a logical cohesion, how about taking it as a daily homework?
Before, I saw the following short report in a certain newspaper:
The President of the United States will start his second term in January next year. (1) Fundamental reform of the national pension and taxation system is a priority issue. (2) The national pension will introduce the "individual settlement" of the definite allocation type, (3) Prevent the gap in pension finance caused by the aging population. (4) Simplify the complicated income tax system while continuing to maintain the tax cut route, (5) Long-term economic growth. (6) Efforts should be made to reduce the most serious "double deficit" in the past, that is, fiscal deficit and trade deficit. (7) There are many difficulties on the road to realization.
call!Did you finish reading it?It really is "difficult".
(1) It is a vague way of cohesion, because after reading the following sentence "The fundamental reform of the national pension and the tax system is a priority issue", you will immediately know whether it expresses the purpose of the previous sentence, addition, or explanation relationship?It would be more appropriate to insert the explanatory conjunction "about governing" in this place to connect.
(2) is to elaborate on the annuity issue mentioned in the first sentence, so it is more appropriate to put in the extended conjunction "specifically" to connect.Assuming that the two major topics of pension reform and tax reform have a sequence, you can instead add "first" as a conjunction.
(3) is a typical fuzzy cohesion.Judging from the context, the following paragraph is not simply an additional connection, introducing "personal settlement" as a means, and "preventing gaps" is the purpose, so "to prevent" or "this is to prevent" should be added in (3) More appropriate.
(4) Start the topic and turn to the tax system. If it is additional information, you can use "next", and if there is an order, you can also use "next".
(5) It should not be an additional explanation, so insert a purposeful conjunction "for the sake of" to connect the tone (it is not appropriate to add the conjunctive conjunction "so" here, because the term of office has not yet started, and it is not yet clear whether the tax cut will be effective. Know).
(6) Popping up a "double deficit".Readers will question this: "The annuity and the tax system are indeed very important, but the problem of double deficits is also very serious. How do you plan to solve this problem?" The double-deficit issue can be articulated using concessions such as "of course".
(7) It is also a cohesion method with vague semantics.Here, the relationship between the preceding and following sentences should be paired with the concessional conjunction, that is, the transitional conjunction should be used, so we should put in a stronger transitional tone of "but".
You may find it troublesome at first, but after you get used to it, you will feel like playing a puzzle game and enjoy it.Now let’s take a look at the article after Shunguan’s tone:
The U.S. president will begin his second term in January next year, and fundamental reforms of governance, the national pension, and the tax system are priority issues.First of all, the National Pension will introduce the "personal settlement" of the definite contribution type to prevent the gap in pension finance caused by the aging population.Second, simplify the complicated income tax system while continuing to maintain the tax cut route for long-term economic growth.Of course, efforts should be made to reduce the most serious "double deficit" in the past, that is, fiscal deficit and trade deficit.However, there are many difficulties on the road to realization.
Now read it again, the new government seems to be less "difficult" in its administration!
If you want to challenge more difficult exercises, you can listen to the news.Listen to the anchor reporting the news, and then when there is a cohesion with vague semantics, I will switch to a cohesion with a logical tone in my heart, and try to insert connective words such as addition, conclusion, and means to make the logical cohesion well.Reading the newspaper is a good exercise, please try it.
After checking the sentence cohesion, re-examine the context of the full text
I believe you have now understood that adding logical connectives to connect sentences can make the relationship between each piece of information more clear.However, even if the cohesion of individual pieces of information is clear, there is no guarantee that sentences will automatically become simple and understandable.For example, even if the individual information itself has been added with logical cohesion, if three or four inductive conjunctions such as "so", "result" and "so" appear consecutively in the text, the text will become difficult to understand.Also, if there are continuous turning points in the article, it will be difficult for people to read.
This is like giving directions to a person who asks the way. Even if you speak clearly, if you turn left, turn right, or turn around, it is easy for him to get lost.At this time, it is easier to reach the destination by taking more straight lines, even if the distance becomes longer.Therefore, in addition to checking whether individual connections are clear, it is best to re-examine the context of the full text.Needless to say, commas and periods, sometimes even the entire structure needs to be re-modified.
2.3 Use specific words and show a responsible attitude
Business Writing, Don’t Leave the Responsibility of Interpretation to the Reader
Apart from the lack of subject and vague cohesion, the biggest factor that hinders clear expression is the use of too many abstract expressions, such as "reassessment", "promotion", "adjustment" and other terms.
The problem with abstract representation is that to do so is to leave concrete interpretation to the receiver.It's fine if the receiver's understanding is consistent with the transmitter's understanding, but you can't guarantee that it will be consistent every time.Especially when you want the other party to take a specific action, you must pay attention that abstract performance cannot be connected with any action at all.The third element of understanding performance is concrete performance (not abstract).
"Activation" and "diversification" are smooth and evasive
Abstract expressions related to actions frequently appear in business copywriting, including:
"activation of...", "diversification of...", "reassessment of...", "strengthening of...", "establishment of...", "reconstruction of...", "promotion of...", "expansion of ...", "Adjusting ...", "Rationalizing ...", "Stabilizing the basis of ...", "Regrouping ..."
These are somewhat irresponsible abstractions.Probably many readers will think this way: "If none of these can be used, then I will not be able to write anything from tomorrow!" I don't mean that abstract expressions must not be used. Access to concrete action level concepts.If you just want to represent a direction, then there is not much problem with abstract representation.
For example, managers often give such instructions to the company: "The company should strengthen the talent training system." In terms of direction, it is difficult for you to object to its content, but is it specific?This instruction is actually very vague.Generally speaking, talent development is the best thing.However, what exactly does the "talent training system" refer to?There is also the so-called "strengthening", what kind of method should be used?Is it possible for the receiver to know exactly how to act when he only hears this information?I find it difficult, how do you feel?
What does the phrase "adjust your inventory quickly" convey?
For example, when you are asked to "adjust the inventory quickly", do you really know how to adjust the inventory?Adjusting inventory is nothing more than increasing inventory or reducing inventory.However, in which direction to adjust, as well as the quantity, time, etc., this sentence alone cannot convey specific information.
Assuming that the current inventory is lower than normal, we should increase production to increase inventory; or on the contrary, we hope that inventory will decrease.Indeed, in books or newspapers and magazines about the economy, especially when describing the macroeconomy, "inventory adjustment is underway" is used, and this sentence is mostly used to express the meaning of reducing excess inventory.However, the performance of "inventory adjustment" itself is neutral, that is, it is not specific.
The same is true for "production adjustment", which is generally used to mean reducing production; however, its neutral part of speech can be interpreted as increasing production or reducing production. The same goes for the "supply-demand gap," a term commonly used to describe excess supply, but which is itself neutral.Each of the above examples is an abstract expression, so it can contain many interpretations, and is generally used to indicate a certain direction.
Therefore, some people will take the "general" way of expression as the default premise and say, "Because the gap between supply and demand is expanding, we must quickly adjust production, otherwise there is no way to adjust inventory!" In fact, what he really wants to convey is: "The current supply is much higher than the demand, so the goods are piled up like a mountain. I want you to reduce production quickly, otherwise there is no way to reduce inventory!"
However, because he used abstract information, he left another possible explanation: "The demand is much higher than the supply, which means that there is a shortage of goods. I want you to increase production quickly, or the inventory will be lower than normal!"
It can be seen from this that the person involved originally wanted to convey a clear message, but at this time there were two explanations, which was quite troublesome.
"×× Sex", "×× Power", abuse makes people lose sex and power
"This car has excellent safety", "That product has excellent functionality", "her nature is good", each sentence is a common abstract expression.That's right, in terms of directionality, every sentence of this information is very clear.However, the "safety", "functionality", and "nature" contained in these information lack specificity.As long as "...sexuality" appears, it is a highly abstract expression, and it is generally not wrong to regard it as a wide-ranging theme.Most recipients will have this question: "What is the meaning of this sex?" Don't wait until you are asked to answer, because this is where it is important, and it is best to specify it at the beginning.
For example, what exactly does the "safety" of a car mean?For whom is it safe, the driver or other passengers?Is the back seat or the front seat safe?Is it safe for the occupant, or is it safe for the person being hit?Also, the definition of safe may also be an issue: is it the impact resistance of hitting a wall head-on at x x km/h; Safe with things like airbags or rearview cameras?It's best to be specific about what's important before the other person asks a question.
In addition, we should also pay attention to the performance of "×× force". The propositions such as "strengthening sales force is very important", "must have centripetal force and cohesion", and "on-the-spot force is very important" are all quite correct.However, no matter how many times you chant these slogans in a row, the recipient is unlikely to be linked to appropriate action because you have not communicated specifically how to act.
The specific performance can be shocking and emotional
However, that doesn't mean abstract representation isn't important.When we refer to the essence of things, it is really important to use abstract representation.Using people as a metaphor, abstract expression is like a human skeleton, and abstract expression alone is a way of expression without flesh and blood.Abstract expression can immediately reveal the essence and direction of things, and it is a rational way of expression, but it is difficult to shake the other party's emotions and feelings with abstract expression alone.
At the root of logical thinking is abstract representation, which is indispensable in persuading others.However, if we look at it from the point of view of "giving motivation", it is more effective to express it concretely.The reason is that specific performance can activate the other party's imagination, thereby arousing the huge information in his brain.That is to say, the specific performance can strongly arouse the emotions and feelings of the other party.
For example, the sentence "A student was injured while playing a team sport" aggregates highly abstract representations.Therefore, even if the other party's mind understands it, they will not be able to express a sense of reality. Isn't it more specific to express "Mr. D was in physical education class at school and broke a bone while doing arhats"?However, it's not at the emotional level yet.
"In the midsummer, on the playground of No. [-] Middle School, which is dry and hard and full of gravel, every student in class one of the second year is covered with dust and sweats profusely practicing stacking arhats. Just as they are stacking people to the first On the fifth floor, Mr. D, who was supporting on the bottom floor, suddenly made a muffled 'click' from his right shoulder and broke his bone. The students stacked on the upper floor of Mr. D fell down one by one with the screams. The rescued Mr. D, the shoulder was pierced by the broken collarbone, and the bone was exposed miserably." If the description is specific to this extent, we should be able to feel the pain of Mr. D to some extent.
There is room for debate as to how appropriate to appeal to emotion when writing business copy.However, I want you to understand that physical performance does have the effect of touching emotion.
Euphemistic Grammar Can’t Remind People Who Don’t Have Eyes
Euphemistic grammar can be said to be a relative of abstract expression, and it should be used with more care.The so-called "euphemistic grammar" refers to indirectly conveying information to the other party.Generally speaking, the function of euphemistic grammar is to avoid specific use of negative expressions.However, because euphemism is indirect, it can invite unexpected misunderstandings and must be taken with care.
I will give an example.I once went to a training institution of a client company due to work, and had to change trains in Shinjuku.In the past, when changing trains to training institutions at Shinjuku Station, you had to pass in front of the toilet.There was a looping recording constantly playing: "It's cleaning now, please help!" I couldn't help but blurted out: "Does that mean I'm here to help you clean the toilet now?!"
When I told this story in a corporate study, I was ridiculed: "Only you can make such a stupid understanding." So, readers, how should I interpret this sentence, and what does it hope everyone will take? specific action?It is to hope everyone: "Please don't use the toilet now?" "Please be patient?" "Please use another toilet?" possible explanation.So, "Let me clean it for you" should be one of them, isn't it surprising?
A trainee immediately raised his hand and spoke: "Teacher, I think the actions you mentioned are wrong. What it really wants you to do is 'help me pay attention, don't let other people enter the toilet', that's absolutely true." I really lost to him!
Euphemistic Grammar Can Be Misleading (and Funny)
When talking with people from different cultural circles, it is easy to cause misunderstandings by using euphemistic grammar.The reason is that there is very little tacit understanding between different cultures.If you want your opponent to take a certain action, you'd better specify it, and it doesn't matter if it is so specific that you find it long-winded.Of course, even within the same culture, there are still different subcultural circles.
For example, the Kyoto area can be regarded as a unique cultural circle.Suppose you are visiting friends in Kyoto, but you end up staying too long accidentally, and when it gets closer to the evening, you happen to be hungry. At this time, your friend proposes an invitation: "Would you like a bowl of tea and rice?" How will you answer?Someone should say: "Oh, it's the right time for you to ask, so please have a couple of bowls..."
In fact, this is a euphemism unique to the local area, which means "it's getting late, please go back".However, I don't mean that just being specific is necessarily a faux pas.You can use an attitude of respect for the other party, and then express it solemnly.Remember: Provoking the other person's feelings for no reason is not an act encouraged by logical expression.
(End of this chapter)
—— Subject, conjunction, concreteness, three key points
2.2 The article is completed in one go, which is logical thinking
If you underestimate the conjunctions, your thinking becomes a mess
As mentioned earlier, "fuzzy" is because we omit the subject, which makes the connection between information and information blurred.In business copywriting, news reports, conversations and other communication media, we often see some unclear conjunctions.These conjunctions are expressions that connect multiple possible interpretations of the subject.
Ambiguous connectives, which fail to clearly connect multiple pieces of information, are the single biggest obstacle to getting the right message across.If the relationship between each piece of information is ambiguous, then of course the relationship between the context and the gist will also become ambiguous.Therefore, in order to convey the correct meaning, we should try our best to use logical connectives correctly to clearly show the relationship between information and information.
When I think about logical connectives, I can't help feeling that the often-heard statement "Japanese is a vague language" isn't true.The reason is that it is not the expression of the Japanese language that makes people feel vague, but the problem of the users themselves is relatively large.If the essence of the Japanese language is ambiguity, doesn't that mean that as long as you use Japanese, you will never be able to express clearly?In logical expression, the clarity of information can only depend on the user's expression, and its influence is greater than the language itself.
The same goes for applying logic to the subject.It is not that there is no concept of subject in Japanese, but that users are not used to being aware of the actor, that is, the subject.On the contrary, everyone says that English is a clear language, but as long as too many "but" and "and" are used in a row, the meaning of the sentence is also vague.In other words, whether a sentence is expressed clearly or not, it is ultimately returned to the language user itself.
Please make more use of the "Takasugi Logical Connective Vocabulary" I compiled (Figure 2-1).Now, many enterprises adopt this logical connective vocabulary.However, it is not the final version, it can be regarded as an introductory guide at best, and the comprehensiveness of the content is not enough, and more logical conjunctions need to be added.
Situation [-]: Do you want to "add" explanation, or "reduce" cause and effect?
Situation [-]: Due to the sluggish market, various enterprises began to run into difficulties, and the housing prices continued to fall.
There is a vague semantic cohesion in this sentence. What is the relationship between the two messages of "in trouble" and "market decline"?Does it represent a loosely related additional information, or does it represent a tightly linked causal relationship?People who read it for the first time will not have an idea, and the transmitter of the information (you) has to guide him.
If you want to express an "additional" explanation (further than the previous information), it should be changed to "due to the market downturn, various companies have begun to suffer, not only that, but the housing market has also continued to fall." It would be better.There are many other conjunctions that express additional mood, such as "in addition to this", "and" and so on.
If you want to split it into two sentences to explain, you can change the sentence to: "Due to the market downturn, various companies have begun to suffer. Moreover, the housing market has also continued to fall." In addition to "and", you can also use "and", " also".If you want to express emphasis, there are many options, such as "especially", "at the same time", "especially" and so on.
If you want to express a causal relationship, you can use the "reason" conjunction with the effect before the cause, or vice versa, use the "result" conjunction with the cause before the effect.
If the inductive conjunction is used, the sentence will be like this: "Because of the downturn in the market, various companies have begun to suffer, so the housing market continues to fall." Among them, the reason "Each enterprise has begun to suffer" supports the conclusion "So the housing market The market continued to fall."In terms of descriptive conjunctions, you can generally use "so" and so on.In addition, just like the conjunctions for additional explanations, the inductive cohesion can also be split into two sentences for explanation.For example, "Because of the sluggish market, companies began to struggle. As a result, housing prices continued to fall."
Situation [-]: Do you want to "add" explanation, or emphasize "means"?
Situation [-]: It is an effective way to reduce the obligations imposed on countries and implement emission trading.
From the perspective of the context, the following sentences can be connected with the "additional" conjunction or the "means" conjunction. (It depends on what kind of meaning you want to express) If it is an additional meaning, it should be changed to the same sentence pattern as in situation [-]: "It is an effective way to reduce the obligations imposed on countries and promote emission trading."" And" is just one of the additional terms, you can also use "and".
If "reducing the obligations imposed on countries" is a means, then its purpose is to "promote emission trading", and at this time, the conjunction "means" should be used to connect. "It is an effective way to facilitate emissions trading (with the aim of) reducing the obligations imposed on countries."
The problem is not the correct interpretation of this sentence (whether the two are in an additional relationship or a means relationship) because we do not have enough materials to judge, and my original intention is not to ask everyone to find the correct conjunction of this sentence.The purpose of the above attempts is how to express the clear relationship between information and information by means of conjunctions.
Advertisement copy can only be powerful after being polished like this
The following ad copy was published on the website of a certain newspaper, from which we can find several places where there are "fuzzy cohesion", including the part that is not a conjunction.Let's analyze and polish it together. I will mark the places where conjunctions should be added.
High-performance microwave oven for ×× household appliances
××家电的 “石窑微波烤箱 DT-C400”将于 9月 1号开始销售！（1）短时间达到适合烹调的温度，烹调时食材美味不流失。（2），（3）配备高功率的加热器和风扇，烤箱内的热量供给比旧机型提升36%。（4）达到使用频率最高的摄氏 200℃左右的温度，时间仅约5分钟。（5）比旧有机型快3分钟。
（6）烤箱烹调和超高温水蒸气烹调的最高温度，各为 350℃和400℃。（7）比旧机型各提高50℃。（8）可缩短烹调时间。（9）配备新功能水蒸气烹调，能配合食材让温度适当保持在 35~95℃之间。（10）可烤出三分熟和五分熟等不同熟度的牛排。（11）减少因加热而流失的维他命。
(12) There are two colors of gold and silver to choose from. (13) OPEN PRICE. (14) However, the actual selling price in the store is expected to be about [-] yen.
Difficult to read copy, huh?Now let's check one by one:
What kind of context should the place in (1) express?Doesn't look like a simple append. The relationship between "reaching a temperature suitable for cooking in a short time" and "food without loss of flavor" seems to be quite close.Assuming that the former is the reason, then the latter is the result, and they are causative relations.Therefore, one of the ways to improve is to "reach the temperature suitable for cooking in a short time, so (or "therefore") the deliciousness of the ingredients will not be lost during cooking."
However, there is another possibility, the former is the means, the latter is the purpose, so it will become: "By reaching the temperature suitable for cooking in a short time, the delicious food will not be lost during cooking."
The causal relationship and the means relationship seem very similar, what is the difference?The difference lies in whether it reflects the actor's "intent".For example, "He pressed the switch, so the air conditioner turned on" indicates a causal relationship.The switch is pressed, so the air conditioner starts to work, the cause and effect relationship is very simple, we don't feel his active intention to turn on the air conditioner.The predicate here is the intransitive verb "open".If the sentence is changed to "he turned on the air conditioner by pressing the switch", it is obvious that there is an intention to emphasize the actor.Therefore, this sentence presents a means relationship, and the predicate uses the causative verb "let...open".
Going back to the original text, the purpose of developing microwave ovens for ×× household appliances is to keep consumers from losing the deliciousness of ingredients when cooking. I infer that this is the relationship between means and purpose (the discussion here is limited to inserting conjunctions, let’s not discuss the copywriting first. How to write it concisely will be explained in the following chapters).
The second half of the first paragraph seems to explain how the microwave oven reaches the appropriate temperature in a short time, so in order to make the context of (2) clearer, "how to reach the appropriate temperature in a short time" should be added .But this sentence is too long, just add the explanatory conjunctions "specifically" and "that is to say" directly.
The place in (3) is also vague, readers should have discovered that this is the relationship between means and purpose, so it should be changed to: "Because of the high-power heater and fan, the heat supply in the oven is 36% higher than that of the old model. "
(4) The local tone is not cohesive, but from the two sentences "the heat supply in the oven is 36% higher than that of the old model" and "reaching the highest frequency of use at about 200°C, the time is only about 5 minutes", we can see relationship with each other.Since the former is the cause of the latter, and the latter is the result of the former, the two are in a causal relationship.Therefore, "therefore" can be added in place of (4).
In (5), "only about 5 minutes" and the following "3 minutes faster than the old model" should belong to the attributed relationship, such as "because it only takes about 5 minutes", "because it only takes about 5 minutes" and so on.But in this way, the attributed relationship appears too many times in the place of connection, so we can use "3 minutes faster than the old model" as a modifier, and move it before "only about 5 minutes" to "reach In the temperature zone of around 200°C, the time is only about 3 minutes faster than that of the old model by 5 minutes.”Changed to this, the "fast 3 minutes" that I hope to emphasize in the original text can also be fully conveyed.
The second paragraph is an additional description of the selling point of the first paragraph "the ingredients are delicious and not lost during cooking", which is the advantage of this microwave oven.So in place of (6), you can add an additional conjunction: "other advantages are like".
In the place of (7), the information that 350°C and 400°C are increased by 50°C is explained, but there is no subject.In fact, changing the period in front of (7) to a comma will make the tone coherent.
(8) It is a typical vague tone, and it should be expressed with inductive conjunctions: "It is 50 ℃ higher than the old model, so the cooking time can be shortened." Of course, if you want to change it to "so", "result ", "So" and other conjunctions are also acceptable.
The back of (9) is introducing different advantages from the front, so put an additional conjunction "not only that".If it is said that "the function of properly maintaining the temperature" can "grill steaks of different degrees" and "reduce the loss of vitamins due to heating", then (10) is the causal relationship (plus "therefore", "so", "result ").In addition, (11) directly connects the preceding "grilling steaks of different degrees" and the following "reducing vitamins lost due to heating", so additional conjunctions such as "simultaneously" and "and" should be inserted.
There are so many options in the last paragraph, and information about the price, it doesn't seem like a good point.At this time, if the additional information in (12) is of low importance, you can use explanatory conjunctions such as "by the way". (13) is also additional information, you can add the additional conjunction "and", or omit it like the original text, because there is not much relationship between color and price.
(14) The word "but" in "...the price is open, but..." should mean "turning point". , The store can sell as much as it wants, but from the wholesale price to the retail profit of the store, if you calculate it all the way, (who) estimates that the actual selling price in the store is around [-] yen."
It should be noted that after using the word "but", who will predict that the actual selling price in the store is [-] yen?Is it a manufacturer of ×× home appliances, a retail store, or a reporter from a newspaper?No matter who made the forecast, changing it to "but generally expected" can definitely stop the receiver's questioning.
Finally, let's reconfirm the retouched result:
The "Stone Kiln Microwave Oven DT-C400" of ×× Home Appliances will go on sale on September 9st! (1) By reaching the temperature suitable for cooking in a short time, the delicious food will not be lost during cooking. (1) Specifically, due to (2) equipped with a high-power heater and fan, the heat supply in the oven is increased by 3% compared with the old model, (36) Therefore, it reaches a temperature of about 4°C, which is the most frequently used, Time (200) is 5 minutes faster than the old model, only about 3 minutes.
其他优点像是（6）烤箱烹调和过热水蒸气烹调的最高温度各为 350℃和400℃，（7）比旧有机型各提高50℃，（8）因此可缩短烹调时间。（9）另外，配备新功能水蒸气烹调，能配合食材让温度适当保持在 35~95℃之间。因此（10）可烤出三分熟和五分熟等不同熟度的牛排，（11）以及减少因加热流失的维他命。
(12) By the way, there are two options of gold and silver. (13) The price is open, but it is generally expected that (14) the actual selling price in the store is around [-] yen.
The key points are all written, but why can't I read it?
Because vague sentences are easy to use, the writer does not need to think about the context of the entire message, just arrange the sentences and write all the way, which is really convenient.Anyway, they are all talking about the same thing, the same product, and related sentences can always be followed, and at first glance, there seems to be a thread to follow.
For a writer, there is nothing easier than writing an article like this, so I can't help but do it.In fact, when I am tired, I will unknowingly use too many vague sentences with unclear meanings before and after, but the reader will be miserable.
Fuzzy connections harm people's minds
Just like the ad copy you just saw, arranging information in a series of vaguely related sentences can't connect the meaning at all.Perhaps, the purpose of the writer is really like this.However, when you all use ambiguous sentences to connect meanings, sorry, you can't clearly express the connection between the information, and the information is of course difficult to convey to the other party.Presumably all recipients, after a quick scan of this kind of article, will half-understand it, or think "what the hell is this talking about..." and let it go.
Even if sometimes the information is successfully conveyed to the other party, it is just luck, or the other party is very smart and can convert the fuzzy connection into a logical connection, just like what we did just now.But how many receivers are willing to do the hassle?
Fuzzy sentence connection will cause a great burden on the receiver, and it is also an irresponsible behavior of the information transmitter.
Conjunctions are the soul of "smoothness" in an article
When recipients feel "this copy is hard to understand", there may be several reasons.First of all, you can start thinking from the larger question of "what is the original purpose of this copy?"For example, what the copywriting ultimately wants to convey is "descriptive information", "evaluation information" to judge the pros and cons of something, or "normative information" to propose a specific action?In other words, if the type of information is ambiguous, it is impossible for the user to understand the information at a macro level.
Secondly, sometimes the problem lies in the parts that make up the article, that is, individual information, which means that the other party has difficulties in understanding at the micro level.
Sometimes the other party has a general understanding of the macro and micro meanings, that is to say, each part can be understood separately, but it is still difficult to understand after reading the entire article, then the problem at this time should be that the article is not "fluent".
We are often asked to "write articles smoothly".In fact, "smoothness" is specifically based on logical connectives, because the so-called "smoothness" refers to the contextual relationship between each piece of information.Whether the article is smooth or not depends on whether you can clearly convey the context of each piece of information to the other party.
Logical connection to reduce the burden on the receiver
There are multiple levels of relationships between each piece of information.Generally speaking, if it is a business copy, it is usually composed of several "chapters" because of its long length, and the information between chapters must be related.Chapter information is key information in the pyramid structure.I will explain in detail what a pyramid structure is in the next chapter.The key information and the cohesive relationship between the key information become the grand story unfolded by the entire copy.
Chapters are made up of multiple "sections", and the information between each section must have a relationship.Each segment is a secondary level of information in the pyramid structure.A segment is composed of multiple sentences (a sentence is information, the smallest unit that constitutes a copy), so the level of segmentation occurs in the relationship between sentences.In terms of a pyramid structure, the relationship between chapters and the relationship between sections is a horizontal relationship in the same level.
In addition, there is not only a relationship between the information of the entire copy and chapter information, but also between chapter information and segment information, and even between segment information and individual sentences.In terms of pyramid structure, they form a vertical relationship of different levels up and down.
All in all, no matter what level it is at, it will be related to other information.These relationships are expressed by logical connectives.The process of thinking about how to add logical connections is itself a kind of logical thinking.
Making a smooth copy is actually the job of connecting sentences clearly.Using logic to connect can make the relationship between information clear and reduce the burden on the receiver.why?Because the receiver can understand the content without having to work hard to clarify the context.As long as logical connectives are used correctly, the relationship between contexts can be easily understood by the reader.For example, as long as "therefore" appears, the other party immediately knows that you want to make a conclusion based on the previous basis.If you use vague cohesion, the other party will not be able to determine whether you want to express addition or conclusion, resulting in a burden of understanding.
If you use "Borrowing...", then almost no need to think, the other party will immediately think that you will talk about the means before and the purpose later.If you use a vague cohesion method, the other party does not know whether you want to express additional information or express your purpose, so you can only continue to read and infer from the context.
All in all, the basic requirement of logical expressiveness is to try not to cause a burden on the receiver.
Articles written without moving your head, you can tell
Reducing the burden on the recipient means increasing the burden on the sender.Why do you say that?Because if you want to make a proper logical connection, you must have a deep understanding of the content of the transfer.If the transmitter has only a half-knowledge of the content, it is difficult to grasp the context of the information.That is to say, in the work of properly adding logical cohesion, the writer must fill in the content.And this job forces the sender to use their brains to think.
In fact, it is the responsibility of the transmitter to do a good job in logical connection.The ultimate purpose of communication is to make the other party understand our intentions.If everything depends on the recipient's spontaneous interpretation and creates a burden for the other party, this is definitely not a good strategy.Remember, it is the sender's responsibility to connect the information clearly.
"Use logical cohesion? Will this make the article stiff?" This is a question I am often asked when I promote logical cohesion.The answer is "absolutely not!" Because the article will not become rigid, but will become clearer.
I guess people who ask this kind of question are used to using fuzzy cohesion (because it can complete the article without thinking).For people who have learned logical cohesion, when they see articles with vague cohesion, they will think: "What the hell are you writing about? There are breathless sentences everywhere, and the theme is unclear. This is a metabolic abnormality at all. article!"
Some people once asked me: "But in my impression, daily conversations are connected with logic, which seems too blunt..." The answer is still the same: "No such thing!" Because it is not blunt, but more clear .
Yes, if you speak in the same tone as in the army, loudly emphasizing the cohesive conjunctions "because!", "so!", "and!" will indeed make the listener feel stiff.However, this impression is conveyed by the tone of the speaker, not the original attribute of logical connection.When you deliberately lengthen, pause, and emphasize, the result will be like a player swearing, with a long tail and a rather unnatural tone.
Please understand that the flexible use of logical connectives and the expression of a person's speaking tone are two different things, and they are independent variables.It is necessary to softly integrate logically connected conjunctions into the conversation, so that the preface and the afterword are coherent.
Reading newspapers can practice logical thinking
By using logical cohesion, you are practicing your logical thinking skills.To hone this skill, the most important thing is to rely on usual accumulation. I suggest that everyone do exercises from newspapers.
I don't know whether to say luck or misfortune. Newspapers are a treasure trove of vague connections, and it can be said to be a carnival of "unintelligible sentence combinations".When reading the newspaper every morning, try to find out the ambiguity of the three sentence cohesion, and convert it into a logical cohesion, how about taking it as a daily homework?
Before, I saw the following short report in a certain newspaper:
The President of the United States will start his second term in January next year. (1) Fundamental reform of the national pension and taxation system is a priority issue. (2) The national pension will introduce the "individual settlement" of the definite allocation type, (3) Prevent the gap in pension finance caused by the aging population. (4) Simplify the complicated income tax system while continuing to maintain the tax cut route, (5) Long-term economic growth. (6) Efforts should be made to reduce the most serious "double deficit" in the past, that is, fiscal deficit and trade deficit. (7) There are many difficulties on the road to realization.
call!Did you finish reading it?It really is "difficult".
(1) It is a vague way of cohesion, because after reading the following sentence "The fundamental reform of the national pension and the tax system is a priority issue", you will immediately know whether it expresses the purpose of the previous sentence, addition, or explanation relationship?It would be more appropriate to insert the explanatory conjunction "about governing" in this place to connect.
(2) is to elaborate on the annuity issue mentioned in the first sentence, so it is more appropriate to put in the extended conjunction "specifically" to connect.Assuming that the two major topics of pension reform and tax reform have a sequence, you can instead add "first" as a conjunction.
(3) is a typical fuzzy cohesion.Judging from the context, the following paragraph is not simply an additional connection, introducing "personal settlement" as a means, and "preventing gaps" is the purpose, so "to prevent" or "this is to prevent" should be added in (3) More appropriate.
(4) Start the topic and turn to the tax system. If it is additional information, you can use "next", and if there is an order, you can also use "next".
(5) It should not be an additional explanation, so insert a purposeful conjunction "for the sake of" to connect the tone (it is not appropriate to add the conjunctive conjunction "so" here, because the term of office has not yet started, and it is not yet clear whether the tax cut will be effective. Know).
(6) Popping up a "double deficit".Readers will question this: "The annuity and the tax system are indeed very important, but the problem of double deficits is also very serious. How do you plan to solve this problem?" The double-deficit issue can be articulated using concessions such as "of course".
(7) It is also a cohesion method with vague semantics.Here, the relationship between the preceding and following sentences should be paired with the concessional conjunction, that is, the transitional conjunction should be used, so we should put in a stronger transitional tone of "but".
You may find it troublesome at first, but after you get used to it, you will feel like playing a puzzle game and enjoy it.Now let’s take a look at the article after Shunguan’s tone:
The U.S. president will begin his second term in January next year, and fundamental reforms of governance, the national pension, and the tax system are priority issues.First of all, the National Pension will introduce the "personal settlement" of the definite contribution type to prevent the gap in pension finance caused by the aging population.Second, simplify the complicated income tax system while continuing to maintain the tax cut route for long-term economic growth.Of course, efforts should be made to reduce the most serious "double deficit" in the past, that is, fiscal deficit and trade deficit.However, there are many difficulties on the road to realization.
Now read it again, the new government seems to be less "difficult" in its administration!
If you want to challenge more difficult exercises, you can listen to the news.Listen to the anchor reporting the news, and then when there is a cohesion with vague semantics, I will switch to a cohesion with a logical tone in my heart, and try to insert connective words such as addition, conclusion, and means to make the logical cohesion well.Reading the newspaper is a good exercise, please try it.
After checking the sentence cohesion, re-examine the context of the full text
I believe you have now understood that adding logical connectives to connect sentences can make the relationship between each piece of information more clear.However, even if the cohesion of individual pieces of information is clear, there is no guarantee that sentences will automatically become simple and understandable.For example, even if the individual information itself has been added with logical cohesion, if three or four inductive conjunctions such as "so", "result" and "so" appear consecutively in the text, the text will become difficult to understand.Also, if there are continuous turning points in the article, it will be difficult for people to read.
This is like giving directions to a person who asks the way. Even if you speak clearly, if you turn left, turn right, or turn around, it is easy for him to get lost.At this time, it is easier to reach the destination by taking more straight lines, even if the distance becomes longer.Therefore, in addition to checking whether individual connections are clear, it is best to re-examine the context of the full text.Needless to say, commas and periods, sometimes even the entire structure needs to be re-modified.
2.3 Use specific words and show a responsible attitude
Business Writing, Don’t Leave the Responsibility of Interpretation to the Reader
Apart from the lack of subject and vague cohesion, the biggest factor that hinders clear expression is the use of too many abstract expressions, such as "reassessment", "promotion", "adjustment" and other terms.
The problem with abstract representation is that to do so is to leave concrete interpretation to the receiver.It's fine if the receiver's understanding is consistent with the transmitter's understanding, but you can't guarantee that it will be consistent every time.Especially when you want the other party to take a specific action, you must pay attention that abstract performance cannot be connected with any action at all.The third element of understanding performance is concrete performance (not abstract).
"Activation" and "diversification" are smooth and evasive
Abstract expressions related to actions frequently appear in business copywriting, including:
"activation of...", "diversification of...", "reassessment of...", "strengthening of...", "establishment of...", "reconstruction of...", "promotion of...", "expansion of ...", "Adjusting ...", "Rationalizing ...", "Stabilizing the basis of ...", "Regrouping ..."
These are somewhat irresponsible abstractions.Probably many readers will think this way: "If none of these can be used, then I will not be able to write anything from tomorrow!" I don't mean that abstract expressions must not be used. Access to concrete action level concepts.If you just want to represent a direction, then there is not much problem with abstract representation.
For example, managers often give such instructions to the company: "The company should strengthen the talent training system." In terms of direction, it is difficult for you to object to its content, but is it specific?This instruction is actually very vague.Generally speaking, talent development is the best thing.However, what exactly does the "talent training system" refer to?There is also the so-called "strengthening", what kind of method should be used?Is it possible for the receiver to know exactly how to act when he only hears this information?I find it difficult, how do you feel?
What does the phrase "adjust your inventory quickly" convey?
For example, when you are asked to "adjust the inventory quickly", do you really know how to adjust the inventory?Adjusting inventory is nothing more than increasing inventory or reducing inventory.However, in which direction to adjust, as well as the quantity, time, etc., this sentence alone cannot convey specific information.
Assuming that the current inventory is lower than normal, we should increase production to increase inventory; or on the contrary, we hope that inventory will decrease.Indeed, in books or newspapers and magazines about the economy, especially when describing the macroeconomy, "inventory adjustment is underway" is used, and this sentence is mostly used to express the meaning of reducing excess inventory.However, the performance of "inventory adjustment" itself is neutral, that is, it is not specific.
The same is true for "production adjustment", which is generally used to mean reducing production; however, its neutral part of speech can be interpreted as increasing production or reducing production. The same goes for the "supply-demand gap," a term commonly used to describe excess supply, but which is itself neutral.Each of the above examples is an abstract expression, so it can contain many interpretations, and is generally used to indicate a certain direction.
Therefore, some people will take the "general" way of expression as the default premise and say, "Because the gap between supply and demand is expanding, we must quickly adjust production, otherwise there is no way to adjust inventory!" In fact, what he really wants to convey is: "The current supply is much higher than the demand, so the goods are piled up like a mountain. I want you to reduce production quickly, otherwise there is no way to reduce inventory!"
However, because he used abstract information, he left another possible explanation: "The demand is much higher than the supply, which means that there is a shortage of goods. I want you to increase production quickly, or the inventory will be lower than normal!"
It can be seen from this that the person involved originally wanted to convey a clear message, but at this time there were two explanations, which was quite troublesome.
"×× Sex", "×× Power", abuse makes people lose sex and power
"This car has excellent safety", "That product has excellent functionality", "her nature is good", each sentence is a common abstract expression.That's right, in terms of directionality, every sentence of this information is very clear.However, the "safety", "functionality", and "nature" contained in these information lack specificity.As long as "...sexuality" appears, it is a highly abstract expression, and it is generally not wrong to regard it as a wide-ranging theme.Most recipients will have this question: "What is the meaning of this sex?" Don't wait until you are asked to answer, because this is where it is important, and it is best to specify it at the beginning.
For example, what exactly does the "safety" of a car mean?For whom is it safe, the driver or other passengers?Is the back seat or the front seat safe?Is it safe for the occupant, or is it safe for the person being hit?Also, the definition of safe may also be an issue: is it the impact resistance of hitting a wall head-on at x x km/h; Safe with things like airbags or rearview cameras?It's best to be specific about what's important before the other person asks a question.
In addition, we should also pay attention to the performance of "×× force". The propositions such as "strengthening sales force is very important", "must have centripetal force and cohesion", and "on-the-spot force is very important" are all quite correct.However, no matter how many times you chant these slogans in a row, the recipient is unlikely to be linked to appropriate action because you have not communicated specifically how to act.
The specific performance can be shocking and emotional
However, that doesn't mean abstract representation isn't important.When we refer to the essence of things, it is really important to use abstract representation.Using people as a metaphor, abstract expression is like a human skeleton, and abstract expression alone is a way of expression without flesh and blood.Abstract expression can immediately reveal the essence and direction of things, and it is a rational way of expression, but it is difficult to shake the other party's emotions and feelings with abstract expression alone.
At the root of logical thinking is abstract representation, which is indispensable in persuading others.However, if we look at it from the point of view of "giving motivation", it is more effective to express it concretely.The reason is that specific performance can activate the other party's imagination, thereby arousing the huge information in his brain.That is to say, the specific performance can strongly arouse the emotions and feelings of the other party.
For example, the sentence "A student was injured while playing a team sport" aggregates highly abstract representations.Therefore, even if the other party's mind understands it, they will not be able to express a sense of reality. Isn't it more specific to express "Mr. D was in physical education class at school and broke a bone while doing arhats"?However, it's not at the emotional level yet.
"In the midsummer, on the playground of No. [-] Middle School, which is dry and hard and full of gravel, every student in class one of the second year is covered with dust and sweats profusely practicing stacking arhats. Just as they are stacking people to the first On the fifth floor, Mr. D, who was supporting on the bottom floor, suddenly made a muffled 'click' from his right shoulder and broke his bone. The students stacked on the upper floor of Mr. D fell down one by one with the screams. The rescued Mr. D, the shoulder was pierced by the broken collarbone, and the bone was exposed miserably." If the description is specific to this extent, we should be able to feel the pain of Mr. D to some extent.
There is room for debate as to how appropriate to appeal to emotion when writing business copy.However, I want you to understand that physical performance does have the effect of touching emotion.
Euphemistic Grammar Can’t Remind People Who Don’t Have Eyes
Euphemistic grammar can be said to be a relative of abstract expression, and it should be used with more care.The so-called "euphemistic grammar" refers to indirectly conveying information to the other party.Generally speaking, the function of euphemistic grammar is to avoid specific use of negative expressions.However, because euphemism is indirect, it can invite unexpected misunderstandings and must be taken with care.
I will give an example.I once went to a training institution of a client company due to work, and had to change trains in Shinjuku.In the past, when changing trains to training institutions at Shinjuku Station, you had to pass in front of the toilet.There was a looping recording constantly playing: "It's cleaning now, please help!" I couldn't help but blurted out: "Does that mean I'm here to help you clean the toilet now?!"
When I told this story in a corporate study, I was ridiculed: "Only you can make such a stupid understanding." So, readers, how should I interpret this sentence, and what does it hope everyone will take? specific action?It is to hope everyone: "Please don't use the toilet now?" "Please be patient?" "Please use another toilet?" possible explanation.So, "Let me clean it for you" should be one of them, isn't it surprising?
A trainee immediately raised his hand and spoke: "Teacher, I think the actions you mentioned are wrong. What it really wants you to do is 'help me pay attention, don't let other people enter the toilet', that's absolutely true." I really lost to him!
Euphemistic Grammar Can Be Misleading (and Funny)
When talking with people from different cultural circles, it is easy to cause misunderstandings by using euphemistic grammar.The reason is that there is very little tacit understanding between different cultures.If you want your opponent to take a certain action, you'd better specify it, and it doesn't matter if it is so specific that you find it long-winded.Of course, even within the same culture, there are still different subcultural circles.
For example, the Kyoto area can be regarded as a unique cultural circle.Suppose you are visiting friends in Kyoto, but you end up staying too long accidentally, and when it gets closer to the evening, you happen to be hungry. At this time, your friend proposes an invitation: "Would you like a bowl of tea and rice?" How will you answer?Someone should say: "Oh, it's the right time for you to ask, so please have a couple of bowls..."
In fact, this is a euphemism unique to the local area, which means "it's getting late, please go back".However, I don't mean that just being specific is necessarily a faux pas.You can use an attitude of respect for the other party, and then express it solemnly.Remember: Provoking the other person's feelings for no reason is not an act encouraged by logical expression.
(End of this chapter)
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