Lao Tzu is a toad

Chapter 354 Journey to the West but Travel to the East

Zhao Jiadi took out a cigarette, paused for a moment while lighting it, and looked up at the sky, the moon was dark and the wind was high, it was a good scene to rob wealth and luster, there must be a beautiful female devil like Li Mochou If he wanted to attack him, Zhao Jiadi readily resigned to his fate.I remember that when the little boy Huang Hua was still a boy and aspired to become a famous writer, he wrote half a pornographic book called "Journey to the West but Journey East". Yes, the whole story is full of dialogue, although it is very pornographic, such as Guanyin is a masturbation lover, the Jade Emperor is a masochist, Queen Mother of the West is the queen of lilies, Chang'e is actually in love with Zhu Bajie, etc. It is also very violent. For a hundred years, it was to refine two guns. The mantra of the obsessive old man is that power comes from the barrel of a gun.But there were still some things in it that surprised Zhao Jiadi.

For a little joke about heaven and man, a young novice monk in Xiaoleiyin Temple asked the host, "Master, I should call you Master, right?""

It's okay, Sun Wukong always calls my idol Tang Sanzang that way. Besides, I just bought a set of books on the street stall for my master, and my apprentices call me master. "

"Master, yours seems to be a pirated version..."

"Huh? This pirated version is so pirated? No wonder there are always so many good words!"

"By the way, Master, why is Monk Tang your idol?"

"You do not understand."

"You tell me."

"You don't understand it."

"Master, I don't have the energy to make dinner."

"That's all, because Tang Sanzang has concentration."

"Why?"

"There are so many female demons pestering him. If he was a teacher, he would not be able to understand the Dharma with them anyway, and he would not be able to fight them. He would have followed him. It can be seen that Tang Sanzang is very determined. Those abbots in our temple are serious, just because They have no chance to make mistakes, they are hypocritical, and they will not be able to attain Bodhisattva fruit."

So Zhao Jiadi actually admires Huang Hua who never denies that he is a little boy. In many things, Huazi is at the forefront. Sex, prostitution, prodigal son turns back, Congliang, marriage and childbirth, Zhao Jiadi is in a trance While taking a nap, I suddenly heard a howl piercing the sky, look, look, this pretty girl has to walk alone at night, is she robbed?Zhao Jiadi immediately turned around and sprinted over. Isn't the hero saving the beauty just a promise with his body?But at the scene of the incident, Zhao Jiadi was dumbfounded. A man with an obscene appearance fell to the ground, and after being trampled on by the Shui Ling girl who just looked at his appearance, she turned her head and saw Zhao Jiadi who was slamming on the brakes. Di also smiled friendlyly, never thought that the girl would get angry when she saw Zhao Jiadi's smiling face, tear off the drawing board and kill her, knocking her head and face down, she dared to be regarded as an accomplice of the watchful wind, Zhao Jiadi couldn't fight back , could only block and retreat, her arms were numb, no wonder this woman dared to walk alone at night, with this combat power, it can't be said that she was powerless, Zhao Jiadi saw someone lying on the ground pretending to be dead and screaming from the corner of his eye The "accomplice" sneaked away, and he had to make a sound to remind the guy to run away!But the girl just glanced at it, let the principal culprit slip away, and still launched a devastating blow to Zhao Jiadi. Zhao Jiadi is a mud bodhisattva who is no longer angry, and he can't be beaten down like this for no reason. She grabbed the drawing board and raised her voice. I'm sick, I rushed here because I was afraid that something might happen to a girl like you!The woman tugged at the drawing board, but she couldn't move it. Her eyes were a little frightened and panicked. She probably still regarded Zhao Jiadi as a gangster, but a gangster who was difficult to deal with.Zhao Jiadi let go of the drawing board, took a step back, and said helplessly that if you are worried, call the police, and I will not run away.She thought for a while, stayed away from Zhao Jiadi, took out her mobile phone, dialed the number, and talked roughly in a soft voice, probably because she didn't know the location, so Zhao Jiadi helped to explain it again, and she repeated her doubts in a mosquito voice. , she seemed to have half believed in Zhao Jiadi. Zhao Jiadi sat on the ground smoking a smoky cigarette, and finally understood why only second- and third-rate martial arts novels often set up a bloody plot where the protagonist captures the flower picker. It's only strange to fall in love at first sight.Zhao Jiadi looked up at her with a vigilant look, and said, lend me the drawing board.She took two steps back holding the drawing board, it was her last weapon.Zhao Jiadi didn't have a good mood and said, I'll help you draw that bastard. Does this prove that he is not an accomplice?She had a battle between man and nature, walked a few steps closer, and lightly threw the simple drawing board to Zhao Jiadi, who caught it easily, but the sketching pencil was like a dart. It's a pity that Zhao Jiadi learned this unpopular dragon slaying from Wei Feng. The skilled person was not caught in the trick. In a few minutes, he sketched the head of the robbery buddy. Compared with professionals, Zhao Jiadi's painting skills are average, and his talent is still a bit. If he was not too proud of his academic performance in high school People, maybe they will be deceived by the art teacher La Zhuangding to take the entrance examination for the Academy of Fine Arts. After Zhao Jiadi finished his painting, he saw a woman in her early 20s and under 25 squatting beside her to watch her sketch with a look of disdain. Zhao Jiadi turned I rolled my eyes and didn't care about it. I didn't learn painting. I was afraid that I would be regarded as a villain again, so I got up and returned the drawing board to the indiscriminate girl. Zhao Jiadi looked at his watch and asked if he was still alive. arrive?There is a time requirement for the Hangzhou police to be on duty, and they must arrive at their destination within a few minutes.She shook her head.Zhao Jia was puzzled at first.She carried the drawing board on her back, and shook her phone.Zhao Jiadi didn't know whether to laugh or cry. You didn't call the police, but you just pretended to scare me?She finally smiled, not looking back, but it could make Liugong Fendai feel ashamed.Zhao Jiadi thought to himself why bother, thinking that in the future the hero would save the beauty as a bear.She replied with an apologetic expression, Zhao Jiadi didn't manage money, patted his buttocks and got up, ready to retreat, smoking a cigarette, for no reason, he remembered another short story in Huang Hua's book, the part about the three beating bones.

"Wukong, don't hit, don't hit."

"Master, this bitch is a monster!"

"That's also a very beautiful monster. I have a pair of eyes that discover beauty. Besides, in the wilderness for hundreds of miles, even the mother's can't see a few of them. It's hard to meet them. It's fate to meet each other. Let me be more Take a look."

"Master, she can eat people!"

"But many living people have already eaten their hearts, so why not be eaten? If you die, you will die."

"But, this time he wants to eat you, not Second Junior Brother and Bai Longma..."

"Fuck! Since the teacher is so handsome, shouldn't she be abducted to be Mr. Yazhai and enjoy it first? Since she is so ignorant, Wukong, beat this monster to death for me!"

Zhao Jiadi left with a smirk. All the grievances in his stomach had dissipated. As a human being, one must have the spirit of self-entertainment so as not to be suffocated to death. It is a small blessing to be able to suffer a small loss, and a great blessing to be able to bear a big loss.When Zhao Jiadi heard the sound of footsteps, he turned his head to see that the girl followed, so he had to ask out of curiosity, are you on the way with me?She shook her head honestly and made a gesture of eating, Zhao Jiadi smiled and asked thank you for the treat?She nodded. Zhao Jiadi wanted to eat something to warm his stomach just after drinking, but he was in a hurry to go back and study the red-headed documents brought by Li Tan, and he had to do a detailed summary work. , don't get involved, this girl has too much potential to be a beauty, Zhao Jiadi is not blessed to bear it.But her little action made Zhao Jiadi change his attention: she didn't seem to have a wallet, and took out a handful of money from her trouser pocket, all of which were small changes, the largest one was only 20 yuan, and the sum of all the bits and pieces did not exceed 36 yuan. She smiled, the meaning is very clear, with so much money on her body, she can't afford to treat guests well.It was the first time Zhao Jiadi saw such a straight-forward treat, so he went with her to a night snack stall with little expense, and ordered two fried noodles and two side dishes, one meat and one vegetarian, Zhao Jiadi calculated for her, A total of [-] yuan.Zhao Jiadi was very unassuming when eating, he never thought that he would meet an even-matched opponent this time, everything on the table was swept away in a matter of minutes, Zhao Jiadi saw her running to checkout and pay, Then he stuffed the change into his pocket casually, and showed a smiling face to Zhao Jiadi, the lethality was so great that it swept across the small restaurant, and all of them were fascinated. Several uncles who drove their private cars and brought girls to fill their stomachs were in a daze for an instant Zhao Jiadi really looked at her at this time, with a melon-seeded face, almond eyes, small mouth, and skin like a dripping Jade Guanyin. Her temperament cannot be said to be pure or charming, but it is more than enough to be a high-ranking vixen. Who is she? Where is she coming from, where is she going?Zhao Jiadi couldn't even ask, if only he was a security guard, he would ask these three most philosophical questions when he caught a beautiful girl, and if he didn't answer, he wouldn't let her go.The two met in a high-profile way, but parted in an ordinary way. From the beginning to the end, Zhao Jiadi only knew that she was a girl who was drawn by the drawing board and didn't talk much. , the most important point is that she is very beautiful, so beautiful that there is only beauty left, so beautiful that she has no sense of reality.Zhao Jiadi was about to leave the car at the g+ bar, stopped the car by the side of the road, and muttered a conversation about Tang Sanzang and Sun Houzi: "Wukong, it's been a cool autumn?" "Master, what's the matter?" You can’t get peaches this season!” “It’s okay, I just feel cold.” “Master, you feel cold when you’re cold, why touch me?” “Hey, find a female fairy to warm the quilt for Master?”

When he arrived at World Trade Center Lijing, Zhao Jiadi moved all the red-headed documents to the table and studied them one by one. Soon it was two o'clock in the morning, but he didn't feel sleepy, so he made some boiling water and made a cup of tea. He missed his brother a little. Let's go, I don't know how these guys are doing. Huzi is a flirt who will send harassing calls even if he has nothing to do. He went to a dinner party with a certain out-of-date star, hooked up with a certain school girl from the old school, and got married in a Land Rover. Lishui is flooding Jinshan. The Leopard Lao Yang Pistol and his gang are boring gourds. They don’t love or express their emotions very well. They are scattered all over the country. They don’t know when they will meet again. It is said that Yang Pingping beat countless young elites and finally entered A foreign company in Yanjing has become a high-level white-collar worker at the root of the imperial city, but she has no one to accompany her to the nightclub, and most of them are unhappy.Zhao Jiadi felt that if Sister Pingping really became a lady of a good family one day, it would be a sad and fucked thing.In the "Journey to the West but Eastward" that has no ending, basically everyone was played by Huang Hua. Zhao Jiadi was Tang Sanzang, a man who never cried, but he had a bad stomach.Zhu Bajie is the most handsome merchant bird in the circle, cold and ruthless, he doesn't like to talk to anyone, he refused Chang'e's love, and then she was blown into the pillow wind by her, and finally knocked him down.The Drifting Monk is Lao Yang, a dead talker.The white dragon horse is Huang Hua himself, Hu Li and Yang Pingping are female fairies on the way to learn the scriptures, and the pistol leopards are all ghosts and monsters who receive box lunches as soon as they show up. For this reason, Huang Hua was whipped by the rebels in partnership.After Zhao Jiadi finished drinking tea, he went to pick out half a catty of tea leaves and put them into a packing box, ready to hand them over to Xu Cai when he was free according to Li Tan's instructions. When I went to Hangzhou to study, Zhao Jiadi raised his hands and feet to support him. The house in Shimao Regent is too unpopular. Grandma always said that it doesn’t matter whether the house is big or not. The most important thing is to be popular and not deserted. A house of several hundred square meters is not a blessing, but a suffering.

After get off work the next day, Zhao Jiadi put a small basket of Xianju Dongkui Yangmei distributed by the unit into the basket of the car. These things were delivered to the door in an endless stream from companies that corresponded with the Development and Reform Commission, so they were naturally better than those sold on the market. After eating a lot, I picked up Xiaoguoer at the station, Yang Ce followed, and was sent away. Xiaoguoer said she wanted to ride a bicycle, but Zhao Jiadi drove her through the alleys and took an hour to come back. When he arrived at the nest, Zhao Jiadi asked if he was tired holding the small red bayberry fruit, and he kept stealing his mouth all the way so that the mouth and little hands were purple loli, and the sun was shining, and he said he was not tired.Xiaoguoer never vomits pits when eating red bayberries, she is indeed a little girl brought out by Aunt Cai herself, she has the demeanor of a heroine.When they arrived at World Trade Center Regency, Zhao Jiadi put on an apron to cook dinner, and Xiao Guoer helped out, and together they worked out a fairly sumptuous meal. Zhao Jiadi smiled and asked where he was going to go to school when he was serving her food.Luoli is a serious Taoxuejun primary school, at No. 6, Qiuzhi Lane, Wener Road. I will buy a bicycle with my pocket money.Zhao Jiadi asked, what about your amateur tasks such as painting, ballet, and piano?Xiao Guoer made a face and Auntie Dao made arrangements for me, don't bother you, I'm living under the fence now.Zhao Jiadi laughed dumbly and said that I am not afraid of trouble.Xiao Nizi is old-fashioned and said that Li Xia in the melon field should pay attention to the influence.Zhao Jiadi felt a sense of frustration, and said helplessly, can I make a move on you, a little girl?Xiao Guo'er curled her lips and said that the loli girls are not allowed to change at the age of 1.6?I am now 1.7 meters!Zhao Jiadi took a general look, and didn't say that he didn't know. He was startled when he saw it. Although the little Lolita was only twelve or thirteen years old, she was really slim. With her height, she must be the most outstanding in the class. , In another three or four years, maybe it can really reach [-] meters five, and Zhao Jiadi will definitely be the first tragedy by then.After dinner, it was stipulated that whoever washes the dishes will be divided into odd and even numbers. Today, I will return to Zhao Jiadi to clean up the mess. Xiao Guoer sits in the living room staring at the big blue stone board in a daze, and writes a few words with a brush dipped in water. Weakness, of course, is not a good thing. Zhao Jiadi saw her discouraged face, sat down and comforted her and said take your time, just like you learn to paint.Xiao Guoer sighed, shook her head and said forget it, anyway, no matter how much you write, it will not be good for you.Zhao Jiadi patted her head and smiled and compared with me, you are looking for the wrong person.Xiao Guoer was not convinced and said, let's play chess!Whoever loses washes the dishes for a week!Zhao Jiadi is happy, chess, go, backgammon, checkers, take your pick!Xiao Guoer took out a box of chess from the backpack on the ground, hehe said flying chess!As a result, Zhao Jiadi was defeated brilliantly.That night, Zhao Jiadi used his own method to exploit the system in the study. The cute little lolita played Tetris with his back to him. It soon bottomed out, the little belly was like a bottomless pit, but Yang Mei couldn't eat bad people, so Zhao Jiadi didn't stop him.Before going to bed, Zhao Jiadi turned on the bedside lamp on the big bed in the master bedroom, and read a copy of "The Essence of Classical Poems and Songs". As a result, little loli stood at the door with a doll in her arms, with a sad face on her face. Zhao Jiadi asked What's wrong?She replied that she knew the bed and couldn't sleep.Zhao Jiadi can only say that staying up all night is enough.She remained silent, looking pitifully at Zhao Jiadi's bed.Zhao Jiadi laughed angrily and said that my bed is different, are you not used to sleeping?Unexpectedly, Xiaoguo'er was so confident that if he didn't try it, how would he know?Zhao Jiadi couldn't resist this loli, so he let her jump on the bed, thinking that she should go back to the room because she couldn't sleep, but she did fall asleep peacefully, and Zhao Jiadi's "cohabitation" career kicked off.

(End of this chapter)