12 Mindfulness Lessons Listened to at Tsinghua University

Chapter 13
1.gold is gold in the soil
When I joined the newspaper office, I was assigned to a bad department that I didn't expect at all. Are you crying?But life is like this day by day, in fact, God always hides one opportunity after another for us in the ordinary, have you seized it?
——Bai Yansong (host of CCTV, once gave a speech at Tsinghua University)
In the Qing Dynasty, there was a literati named Tan Xuan who taught in the mansion of a rich man. The rich man liked music and didn't like arty, so the food for the musicians in the mansion was better than that for the teachers.Tan Xuan was very resentful about this, and often complained. His friend Zhu Yizun wrote to persuade him after learning about it: "A gentleman should distinguish things by their kind. Things have their own kind. For people, they should also be distinguished by their kind. A gentleman must understand his own status. For example: to marry a wife and give a gift, you only need cloth and fur clothing, but buying a concubine costs hundreds of taels of silver, and redeeming official prostitutes costs thousands of taels of silver. It can be seen that the lower the quality, the lower the value. The higher the food is, the richer the meal is, the more you feed fish to the cat and the dog meat, so what is there to be angry about, brother?"

Zhu Yizun's letter is more or less in the spirit of Ah Q, but otherwise, how can he comfort his underappreciated friend?
Frustration is inevitable in life. It is not only normal but also necessary to comfort yourself when necessary.But we cannot be Ah Q forever.If you don't try to break through the state that made you Ah Q, sooner or later the frustration will come again.Therefore, a positive person must learn to seek real positive energy, jump out of the trough of life, and break the bottleneck of career.

Confucius once said: "The benevolent do not worry, the wise do not confuse, and the brave do not fear." A strong heart can not only resolve many, many regrets in life, but also directly transform them.As we all know, Confucius' favorite disciple was Yan Hui.Confucius often praised Yan Hui in front of his students: "You are worthy, return! One sack of food, one ladle to drink, in the back alleys, people are overwhelmed with worries, and return will not change their joy. Virtuous, return!" In fact, Confucius I am also a humble person.Later generations often summarize Yan Hui's excellence as "Yan Hui's four virtues", that is, not complaining about heaven, not favoring others, not being angry, and not making mistakes. In fact, these virtues are also reflected in Confucius.

First of all, don't blame the sky, don't favor others.We know that although Confucius was a rich second generation born with a silver spoon in his mouth, this superior environment did not last long, and the situation deteriorated due to the death of his father and uncle Liang He.When Confucius was a teenager, he also had to go out to work to support his family.But Confucius never gave up on learning. He has studied the principles of how to behave, govern the country and bring peace to the world for decades, and finally achieved something.It's a pity that at the end of the Spring and Autumn period, when rituals collapsed and music was broken, his thinking was too idealized. At that time, no one understood his value, and no one wanted to pursue these values ​​​​from the heart.He didn't become an official until he was over fifty years old, but within a few days, he was easily taken down because he was too upright and touched the interests of the powerful.After traveling around the world for more than ten years, no monarch was willing to hire him sincerely, and some villains even regarded him as a dangerous person, and slandered him repeatedly.Even some hermits looked down on him, mocking him as a lost dog.

But Confucius never attributed his failures to external factors. When some students complained about him and complained about himself, he always said: "Don't worry about being unworthy. "It means: "Don't be afraid of not having an official position, you only need to worry about not having the ability to settle down. Don't worry that no one understands yourself. Only those with real talents and real learning are worthy of being understood by others." Based on this alone, Confucius said " The title of "Teacher of All Ages" is well-deserved.

Confucius also said: "Don't complain about the sky, don't favor others, go to school and go up to the top, and the one who knows me is the sky!" There are many different interpretations of this sentence, but combined with Confucius' life, this is In his later years, Confucius expressed emotion about the unfulfilled encounters in his life-I never complained about fate or others in my life. Through learning knowledge, I understood the philosophy and true meaning of life, but now it seems that understanding me Only heaven!It should be said that this is already a complaint in a certain sense.But thinking about the old man who has been studying hard all his life, running around, and eager to use his talents to transform society but has been repeatedly frustrated, it is understandable to make some small complaints (essentially emotion).

In a word, according to Confucius: As long as it is gold, it will shine sooner or later. The key question is, are you gold?
There was a young man who thought he was full of knowledge and knowledge, but he couldn't find an ideal job.At the beginning, he just lamented that he was underappreciated, and wished that Bole did not appreciate his great horse.Over time, he gradually became disappointed with the society, and even thought of committing suicide.

On this day, he came to the sea, intending to end his life. Fortunately, an old man happened to pass by here and pulled him back from the gate of hell.The old man asked him, why can't he think about it when he is young?He bitterly said that since he could not be recognized by the society, he might as well die!

"Oh? So you are very capable?" The old man smiled, picked up a grain of sand from the beach under his feet, let him look at it, then sprinkled it casually, and said to him: "Can you sprinkle the sand I just sprinkled on the sand?" Pick up that grain of sand on the ground?"

"That's impossible!" said the young man.

Without speaking, the old man took out a crystal clear pearl from his pocket, threw it on the ground casually, and said to the young man, "Then can you pick this pearl up?"

"Of course it can!"

"Then you should understand: the reason why you cannot be recognized by others is that you are not yet a pearl, so you cannot demand that others recognize you immediately. If you want others to recognize you, then you have to change from sand to a pearl." A pearl will do."

Young people suddenly wake up.

Is it bad luck?Or is it bad for yourself?We must admit that the fundamental reason why a person succumbs to the bottom of society is that he is not a priceless pearl, but an ordinary grain of sand.Once, when I was chatting with an old friend who had forgotten his age, I casually complimented him: Social injustice has rendered old Xiang useless as a hero.The old friend chuckled: No, I don't have martial arts at all, and it has nothing to do with social injustice.How many people can reach this level?

Of course, since the ancients were able to coin the phrase "heroes have no use for their abilities", it means that there are still heroes who have no ambitions in the world after all.But even if you are that hero, what's the use of being sentimental and complaining?Mr. Bo Yang said that it is not as meaningful as the sound of a bicycle tire blowing out.Instead of this, it is better to go to the next level and forge yourself into a piece of pure gold, so that you can emit more dazzling light. As long as your gold content is high enough, I believe that the world will not be collectively blind.

Finally, we must be clear: to be gold is an achievement in itself.But gold is never made to shine.Gold buried in the earth is also gold.And the more buried in the soil, the more we need to maintain a heart of gold.Otherwise, the day when a person shines is the time when he becomes moldy.

2.dance your own dance, sing your own song
It is very troublesome when one lives for others.Because other people's standards are different, if you don't insist on what you want, your dignity and self-esteem cannot be guaranteed, because you are always in a state of uncertainty.

——Yu Minhong (Founder of New Oriental Education Group, once gave a speech at Tsinghua University)

To tell a slightly corny story:
A father and son went to the market on a donkey.At first, the father was afraid that his son would be tired, so he asked his son to ride a donkey and walk by himself. Passers-by commented: "This son is really unfilial. He rides a donkey by himself and lets his father walk." One after another, they said that it is shameful to be an old man, and they rode donkeys by themselves and let children walk.you are vicious!The father and son discussed it, saying that let's all ride donkeys and see what they say.Unexpectedly, the passers-by still had something to say—that they abused animals—a little donkey, two people riding, and the donkey must not be crushed to death?It's really inhumane.The father and son had no choice but to jump off the donkey and walk together. In the end, some people said: "These two people have a donkey and don't ride it. They walk by themselves. How stupid!"

There is a saying called "the eyes of the masses are discerning", which makes sense.One of the bad habits of the Chinese people is that they would rather leave their own fields uncultivated than watch other people's jokes.If there is no joke, find some jokes.The most changes lead to qualitative changes, and over time, it is difficult to think clearly.

So, a father-son duo like the above story is really asking for trouble, because no matter what they do, the masses will have something to say.On the other hand, this has directly led to the fact that no matter what the Chinese do, they will be very concerned about other people's opinions, and they are very afraid of what others will say.When others say it, they seem to be remotely controlled by other people's mouths, actively cooperate and respond enthusiastically, in order to gain the approval of others, and the more widely the better.It seems that if others do not recognize him, he is definitely not good, but once others recognize him, he is really great.

In fact, how can a person be recognized by everyone?The eyes of the masses are discerning, but the eyes of the masses are often inconsistent. What some people think is good may be bad for others. Therefore, you will never be able to meet everyone's standards.If you compare life to going to a fair, then the best way is to be yourself, ride a donkey if you want, walk if you want to walk, otherwise you will be a real fool if you miss the fair.

Go your own way, let others say it! ——This is the famous quote of the Italian poet Dante.A person must first live for himself and know what he wants.Only those who follow the crowd will follow others' advice, and only those who are not confident will change their direction easily because of a few gossips from others.

Therefore, Ibsen said: Man's first duty is to be himself.Peter Buffett also said: The greatest wealth in a person's life is being able to be himself.Peter once studied at Stanford University, a world-class prestigious university, but he chose to drop out after only three semesters. Although he has not become a rich man as his father, stock god Warren Buffett expected, he has gained a lot. Own wealth - became a musician, and won the "Emmy Award".

Peter always said: If I followed my father into Wall Street, I could save at least 30 years of struggle.But music is my passion.Only by being yourself can you always have enthusiasm.Otherwise, even if you succeed, you will regret it.Because you are simply successful for others.

There is a very interesting fable:

A helicopter crashed during the flight. There were a pilot, a flight attendant and a monkey on board.Unfortunately, the pilot and flight attendant were killed on the spot, and only the monkey escaped unharmed by a narrow margin.

Eager to learn what caused the plane crash, air crash investigators turned to monkeys.And this monkey is not only smart, but also has received some training, so it can understand human language to some extent.

Therefore, the investigators first asked the monkey about the condition of the plane when it took off.The monkey yelled, pointed at the rudder, and then made antics of flying the plane.Then he pointed at the stewardess and pretended to be serving the plate.Finally, he pointed to himself, indicating that he sat obediently in his seat.

"How did the plane crash?" Seeing that the monkey provided so many valuable clues, the investigators were very excited and asked it immediately.The monkey immediately pointed to the stewardess, gesticulating with a look of intoxication and ecstasy.The investigators were puzzled and asked him to tell what the driver was doing at the time.The monkey pretended to be hugged with both hands, and made a kiss-like mouth, showing an affectionate expression and making a "squeak" sound.

"What were you doing then?" one of them continued.

The monkey immediately sat upright, gesticulating with both hands to control the steering wheel.

This fable tells us: If you hand over your steering wheel to others, you will lose yourself.I often hear people say: "I am dancing in shackles." In fact, the reason why a person dances in shackles is largely because he has no autonomy.No one is forcing us to put on shackles and join the dance, why don't you dance your own dance and sing your own song?
The mouth grows on others, and what they say is their freedom, but the legs grow on ourselves, and we have the right to pursue the life we ​​want.You need to set and stick to your own goals, not others' goals; you need to define your own connotation, instead of being frustrated or even overwhelmed by other people's success.

Worldly vision and ruthless sarcasm are the easiest way to kill oneself, and the social nature of human beings also determines that human beings cannot get used to dancing solo.But who else knows yourself better than you?You have to be your own director, not someone else's actor.You have to bravely go to sea with your own beliefs, instead of being stranded in other people's rumors.

Everyone is unique in this world, and everyone has unlimited creativity.The difference is that some people can properly grasp the distance between themselves and public opinion, so that they can listen when they are listening, and they can be deaf when they are deaf; Listen to your inner voice.Of course, the saddest thing is the person in between: want to be yourself, but can't show courage.

Be brave!Don't care about those skeptical eyes, and don't pay attention to those noisy voices.There is no world without one line, and boredom is their business.Without achieving freedom of mind, you will always be at the mercy of your environment or others.Only when you dance to your own beat can you dance your true self.

3.Take off the "superior" coat
Once upon a time in a certain university there was a young professor of history who called himself a "genius" and looked down on others, saying that this person was a "dog" and that person was a "dog".As a result, the votes were rewarded, and the masses united and respectfully presented the title of "dog egg" to this person, and he became a "dog egg" himself.

——Ji Xianlin (Master of Chinese Studies, academic leader, graduated from the Department of Western Literature of Tsinghua University)
Alex Lloyd is a famous French film star.Once, he drove his beloved car to a maintenance station, and a female worker received him.Her dexterous hands and handsome appearance immediately attracted Lloyd.Lloyd was an old hand in love, and he turned his equally handsome face directly to the girl, and the girl obviously saw it, but she didn't look surprised or excited at all.

This disappointed Lloyd.But he doesn't intend to give up.He asked: "Miss, do you like to watch movies?"

"Of course I do, I'm a movie fan."

The female worker was nimble and quickly repaired the car: "You can drive away, sir."

But Lloyd was reluctant: "Miss, can you go for a ride with me?"

"No! I still have a job."

"It's also your job. You fix the car. You'd better check it out yourself."

"Okay, will you drive or will I drive?"

"Of course I drove it. I invited you."

The car runs fine.The girl asked: "It seems that there is no problem, please let me get out of the car?"

"Why, you don't want to stay with me anymore? Let me ask you again, do you like watching movies?"

"I answered it, I like it, and I'm a movie fan."

"You don't know me?"

"Why don't you know me? I've recognized you as Alex Lloyd, the contemporary movie king."

"In that case, why are you so indifferent?"

"No! You're wrong, I'm not cold. I'm just not crazy like other girls. You have your achievements and I have my job. You come to repair cars as my customers. If you are no longer a star, Come here to repair the car, I will receive you in the same way. Shouldn't this be the case between people?"

Lloyd was silent.In front of this ordinary female worker, he felt his shallowness for the first time.

"Miss, thank you! You remind me that I should seriously reflect on my own value. Well, let me take you home now."

As the ordinary but extraordinary lady said, it should be like this between people, but it is often not like this between people, whether it is China or foreign countries.As the saying goes: "People should be killed when compared with others, and goods should be thrown away when compared with goods." If you are inferior to people, you may not necessarily die. But following this logic, bosses and subordinates, bosses and employees, wealthy and low-income households, celebrities and fans ... There is always a difference between high and low, and you must never stand on the same level.If there is, it is also a low-key deliberately created by the former for a certain purpose.

Now that we're talking about fans, let's talk about it.I secretly think that fans are the most pitiful people. On the one hand, they have to bear the contempt of "childish and ignorant", on the other hand, they also have to bear the indifference of their idols and the pushing and shoving of hired bodyguards. In addition, they must always be idols Preparations for both sides.When I was at work, two usually gentle and elegant post-80s girls suddenly fought together in the company one day. When they were finally pulled away, their pink faces were seriously injured.But after learning the reason for their war, everyone couldn't help laughing.I only heard one of the girls explain: I like a certain male singer in Hong Kong, and she likes a certain male singer in Taiwan, but she said that the songs of the singer I like are rubbish, and liking him is a sign of lack of taste. In order to defend my ability to appreciate music , I have to give her some color to see...

What logic is this!There was no popular music before, and people all liked to listen to operas. Did people in the past have no taste?So what if someone has more taste than someone else?Not personal in nature?The common people have a bad saying: It’s the same when you enter the bathhouse.The words are rough and the rationale is not rough.The philosopher also said that the reason why the big man is high is because you have been kneeling.Stand up, stop looking up at him, take off his superior coat that you have imposed on him, and you will find that everyone is the same, perhaps, your muscles are at least a little more toned than his.

(End of this chapter)